3.9作文互改

annkeUID: 2605122

写在前面的题记。听了互改童鞋的建议之后，真的觉得自己文章太随意，恣意妄为，完全不管现在是应试阶段。。昂。。。今天交了这篇充满反叛色彩的小品文之后，我决心要按部就班地操练八股！不是扼杀想象力，是先囤积起来，等到一定时间在慢慢爆发~

3.9：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation.

It apparently looks ridiculiar ridiculous that people should not pay to the public transportation, and it is commonly take granted for the free-market economic theory and conform there is no better than it. Nevertheless, in my opinion, all the ideas and the usual believes always vertify verify to be a rooted impact of ignorance and blindness resulted from the long-term ideological education. Therefore, I think different ideas are some innocent but innovative. I agree with the statement that people should not pay to the public transportation, the reasons are as following.

Firstly, people have rights to enjoy the welfare of the government, because of people are the supporters of government. Let's have a clear view at how a government formed, government is an organization using to harmonize the conflicts between people and people, the rights of government are transported from individuals, therefore, the constituted government should take the need of people at hand. Moreover, modern government
also should focus on developing the welfare level of
people . Because, people are the taxpayers, without the huge amounts of tax, none of governments all over the world can execute. They cannot build factories, cannot afford the officers and cannot do the companies Hence, it is better for every policy-maker takes care of people, keeps their needs in mind, then do whatever improving the happiness and convenience of people. And free transportation service can be an practical way of that.

Secondly, not only necessities, but also possibilities on the policy of free public transportation. There are different kinds of public transportation in cities or towns, like subway, bus, ship, taxi and airplane. Some of them are tightly relate with people's daily life, so I think it's better to handle it from such ways. For example, if a city realize offering free city bus service for residents and city dwellers, I believe there must be less private cars running on the narrow, crowed roads, which will surely result in less pollution, better environment, and more satisfactory citizens feeling about their city hall.

However, actually I'm not an idealist or radical, before the complete free transportation services, we should take steps in the process and join hands from various areas, such as the commercials, the media, and the non-profit, only collecting the opinions from all the levels of society, can we guarantee the efficiency of the policy. That is we can try from some simple field, like bus , or even community bus, and forget about the air companies. When the whole benefits of society come to a new stage, can we depict the next procedure. One hundred year ago, people barely imagine the free information produced and consumed nowadays, how can't we believe the free transportation will come true in next decade?

s499992008UID: 2688967

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation.
It apparently looks ridiculiar ridiculous that people should not pay to the public transportation, and it is commonly take granted for the free-market economic theory and conform there is no better than it.（这句话什么意思。。真的没有看懂。也许是我的水平有限） Nevertheless, in my opinion, all the ideas（什么的idea 指代不明啊。） and the usual believes always vertify verify to be a rooted impact of ignorance and blindness resulted from the long-term ideological education. Therefore, I think different ideas are some innocent（some 能修饰innocent 吗？） but innovative. I agree with the statement that people should not pay to the public transportation, the reasons are as following.
Firstly, people have rights to enjoy the(感觉把the 去掉好那) welfare of the government, because of（应该是because,那个不能引导句子） people are the supporters of government. Let's have a clear view at how a government formed, government is an organization using to harmonize the conflicts between people and people, the rights of government are transported（这里用transport不知道对不对） from individuals, therefore, the constituted government should take the need of people into consideration at first. Moreover, modern government + A7 I% f8 C9 H( F. {
also should focus on developing the welfare level of
people . Because(这个词不能这么用), people are the taxpayers, without the huge amounts of tax, none of governments all over the world can execute. They cannot build factories, cannot afford the officers and cannot do the companies Hence, it is better for every policy-maker takes care of people, keeps their needs in mind, then do whatever improving the happiness and convenience of people. And free transportation service can be an practical way of that.
Secondly, not only necessities, but also possibilities on the policy of free public transportation（这个语法错误就太明显了吧。。没有谓语）. There are different kinds of public transportation in cities or towns, like subway, bus, ship, taxi and airplane. Some of them are tightly relate with people's daily life, so I think it's better to handle it from such ways. For example, if a city realize offering free city bus service for residents and city dwellers, I believe there must be less private cars running on the narrow, crowed roads, which will surely result in less pollution, better environment, and more satisfactory citizens feeling about their city hall.
However, actually I'm not an idealist or radical, before the complete free transportation services, we should take steps in the process and join hands from various areas, such as the commercials, the media, and the non-profit, only collecting the opinions from all the levels of society, can we（？？？？？是only引导的倒装句） guarantee the efficiency of the policy. That is we can try from some simple field, like bus , or even community bus, and forget about the air companies. When the whole benefits of society come to a new stage, can we depict the next procedure. One hundred year ago, people barely imagine the free information produced and consumed nowadays, how can't we believe the free transportation will come true in next decade?
你用的是4段法。。我还是感觉5段好。。。另外你的这篇作文全是在论断。。我很少看到有例子。。
水平有限。。。。共同努力吧。。

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.9：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation.

It apparently looks ridiculiar ridiculousthat people should not pay to the public transportation, and it iscommonly take granted for the free-market economic theory and conformthere is no better than it.(这句话有点问题吧，it is take...对吧) Nevertheless, in my opinion, all the ideasand the usual believes always vertify verifyto be a rooted impact of ignorance and blindness resulted from thelong-term ideological education. Therefore, I think different ideas aresome innocent but innovative. I agree with the statement that peopleshould not pay to the public transportation, the reasons are asfollowing.我觉得是这样的，你在一个过于广义的范围里面讨论为啥大家会这么想了，但是由于太general,这样会导致别人觉得你开始不知所云，把你的想法套到这个具体的事件上来讨论，这样会比较好。

Firstly, people have rights(the rights,我记得一本比较经典的语法书这么归纳说如果这个名词有其他的东西修饰，那么它就是特指，因此要在这个名词前面加上the) to enjoy the welfare of the government, because of(去掉) people are the supporters of government. Let's have a clear view at how a government formed,(.) government is an organization using(used) to harmonize the conflicts betweenpeople and people,(这里你的people指的是普通的人民那么用among people就好了，要是指的是种族用among peoples) the rights of government are transported fromindividuals, therefore, the constituted government should take the needof people at hand.(这两句话感觉你没说清楚） Moreover, modern government 2 b/ h. n0 v, c* g+ M9 V5 O6 c
also should focus on developing the welfare level of
- L1 R; v. w& \; y) D' u4 {people. Because, people are the taxpayers, without the huge amounts of tax,none of governments all over the world can execute(prosper或者exist如何). They cannot buildfactories, cannot afford the officers and cannot do the companiesHence, it is better for every policy-maker takes care of people, keepstheir needs in mind, then do whatever improving the happiness andconvenience of people. And free transportation service can be anpractical way of that(achieving that如何?).

Secondly,not only necessities, but also possibilities on the policy of freepublic transportation(这也不是一句完整的话啊). There are different kinds of publictransportation in cities or towns, like subway, bus, ship, taxi andairplane. Some of them are tightly relate(related) with people's daily life, soI think it's better to handle it from such ways. For example, if a cityrealize offering(我觉得offers就可以了，要么产生歧义) free city bus service for residents and city dwellers,I believe there must be less private cars running on the narrow, crowed(crowded)roads, which will surely result in less pollution, better environment,and more satisfactory citizens feeling about their city hall.(这句不对吧，就直接more satisfactory among the citizens)

However,actually I'm not an idealist or radical(这是啥意思), before the complete freetransportation services, we should take steps in the process and joinhands from various areas, such as the commercials, the media, and thenon-profit(non-profit organzation), only collecting the opinions from all the levels ofsociety, can we guarantee the efficiency of the policy. That is ,we cantry from some simple field, like bus , or even community bus, andforget about the air companies(为啥要forget这个). When the whole benefits of society cometo a new stage, can we depict the next procedure. One hundred year ago,people barely imagine the free information produced and consumednowadays, how can't we believe the free transportation will come truein next decade?

LZ一定要好好加强自己的grammer，我认为grammer是很重要的，比如连词的使用，标点的使用，真的很重要。如果连正确都谈不上的话，后果真的很严重。我倒是认为LZ没必要先练习跟大家写一样的八股文，那样其实没啥大意义。一定要先保证正确，这样就算平淡不华丽，大家至少看懂了你在写什么。真的非常重要。因为如果犯了太多的grammer error的话，大家都把注意力放在看你的grammer error上了，都没法好好看看你在写啥了

annkeUID: 2605122

谢谢谢谢。 我真的是写得太任性了，一定要改！！！