[分享] 每日一评！5.20！以退为进的辩论技巧。

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

Issue48
"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


The speaker claims that significant historical events and trends are made possible by groups of people rather than individuals, and that the study of history should emphasize the former instead of the latter. (照例总结原题内容，然后说出自己不同意的观点)I tend to disagree with both aspects of this claim. To begin with, learning about key historical figures inspires us to achieve great things ourselves--far more so than learning about the contributions of groups of people. Moreover, history informs us that it is almost always a key individual who provide the necessary impetus for what otherwise might be a group effort, as discussed below.
原题是说反对把历史研究的重心放于过多的个别大人物，而严重忽略了芸芸众生，因为历史的根本推动力在于人民而非个别风云人物也。作者非常清楚地声称只有个别的伟人才是关键，因为只有他们才能激励大众创出伟绩。


Admittedly, (注意，开始让步例证了)at times distinct groups of people have played a more pivotal role than key individuals in important historical developments. For example, history and art appreciation courses that study the Middle Ages tend to focus on the artistic achievements of particular artists such as Fra Angelico, a Benedictine monk of that period. However, Western civilization owes its very existence not to a few famous painters but rather to a group of Benedictine nuns of that period. Just prior to and during the decline of the Roman Empire, many women fled to join Benedictine monasteries, bringing with them substantial dowries which they used to acquire artifacts, art works, and manuscripts. As a result, their monasteries became centers for the preservation of Western culture and knowledge which would otherwise have been lost forever with the fall of the Roman Empire.作者先承认芸芸众生在历史发展中的不可磨灭的作用，并用罗马帝国时monasteries对于欧洲文化艺术得以在战火中幸存下来的重大作用。这一段吸引人的是给阅卷者考生丰富的历史知识。单看这一大萝的艺术名词，你都不得不吐血。

However, 看到转折了吗？开始反驳上段的让步并称述自己的观点啦！equally influential was Johannes Gutenberg, whose invention of the printing press several centuries later rendered Western knowledge and culture accessible to every class of people throughout the known world. Admittedly,永远记住，小小的让步就是为以后的申辩作铺垫！ Gutenberg was not single handedly responsible for the outcomes of his invention. Without the support of paper manufacturers,publishers, and distributors, and without a sufficient demand for printed books, Gutenberg would never have become one of "the famous few." However, I think any historian would agree that studying the groups of people who rode the wave of Gutenberg's invention is secondary in understanding history to learning about the root historical cause of that wave. Generally speaking, then, undue attention to the efforts and contributions of various groups tends to obscure the cause-and-effect relationships with which the study of history is chiefly concerned. Gutenberg is just one example of an historical pattern in which it is individuals who have been ultimately responsible for the most significant developments in human history. Profound scientific inventions and discoveries of the past are nearly all attributable not to forgettable groups of people but to certain key individuals--for example, Copernicus, Newton, Edison, Einstein, Curie, and of course Gutenberg. Moreover, when it comes to seminal sociopolitical events, the speaker's claim finds even less support from the historical record. Admittedly, sweeping social changes and political reforms require the participation of large groups of people. However, I would be hard-pressed to identify any watershed sociopolitical event attributable to a leaderless group. History informs us that groups rally only when incited and inspired by key individuals.这一段堪称是主论坛了。作者以发明印刷工具的Johannes Gutenberg对世界文化和知识传播和保留的重要贡献到陈列一大串的科学家Copernicus, Newton, Edison, Einstein, Curie，然后为照应第二个论点阐述推动历史前进的人民必须“群龙有首”某则一盘散沙，进一步深入论证自己的观点。

The speaker might claim that important long-term sociological trends are often instigated not by key individuals but rather by the masses. I concede that gradual shifts in demography, in cultural traditions and mores, and in societal attitudes and values can carry just as significant an historical impact as the words and deeds of "the famous few." 作者就原题观点可能出现的反对观点作出独到见解回应。最好好好揣摩一下这一段的复杂句，堪称经典。Yet, it seems that key individuals almost invariably provide the initial spark for those trends. For instance, prevailing attitudes about sexual morality stem from the ideas of key religious leaders; and a culture's prevailing values concerning human life are often rooted in the policies and prejudices of political leaders. The speaker might also point out that history's greatest architectural and engineering feats--such as the Taj Mahal and the Great W~--- came about only thm~h the efforts of large groups of workers. A~, however, it was the famous few--monarchs in these cases whose whims and egos were the driving force behind these accomplishments.


To sum up, with few historical exceptions, history is shaped by key individuals, not by nameless, faceless groups. It is the famous few that provide visions of the future, visions which groups then bring to fruition. Perhaps the speaker's claim will have more merit at the close of the next millennium since politics and science are being conducted increasingly by consortiums and committees. Yet, today it behooves us to continue drawing inspiration from "the famous few," and to continue understanding history chiefly in terms of their influence.

来个小结：
这篇文章无论从用词造句和内容安排都堪称上乘。作者先阐明反对的两点理由：个体伟人的激励作用和领导作用。然后在多次的让步中驳斥原文论点，这种以退求攻的论证方式正是老米argue时惯用的技巧。由此我们可以在培养自己的语言和积攒论据的同时，有目的地看看辩论技巧方面的书，会大有长进！

feier521UID: 109747

请问斑竹：
我发现每日一评里文章的开头，都是先列出作者的逻辑错误，然后反驳之，提出自己的观点。感觉好像在写argument,
不知这样的开头值不值得提倡、运用？

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

如果写得太多这样的模式，确实干涩不可取，但这是恐怕也是最直接最明了的表达方式了。

不太提倡，但是确是应试的最好技巧。

想想换作你是阅卷者看了n*n篇文章还是不能在第一眼找到考生的观点，你说气不气？？？

feier521UID: 109747

老米的开头都体现了对题目的透彻分析，体现了critical thinking。

这么多的考生中，怎样才能使自己的开头新颖，独具一格呢？

amorzUID: 1

tudou回来了，好啊

paisleyUID: 64183

点评的真好！

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

最初由 amorz 发表
[B]tudou回来了，好啊 [/B]

强烈抗议： 不是土豆, 是番茄炒蛋或蛋蛋，鸡蛋的蛋.

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

最初由 feier521 发表
[B]老米的开头都体现了对题目的透彻分析，体现了critical thinking。

这么多的考生中，怎样才能使自己的开头新颖，独具一格呢？ [/B]

这就得你自己用心去揣摩了。不然怎么成为自己的独门武器呢？

angeikimUID: 4857

最初由 amorz 发表
[B]tudou回来了，好啊 [/B]

和尚。。你完了

angeikimUID: 4857

好的文章的开头要有一个general statement. 就是你个人对题目的题眼的看法。
以前我和我们这里的一个资深IELTS考官做培训的时候，就单独的关于这个问题讨论过好多次。一个文章如果缺少了这个general statement是得不到高分的。而这个general statement 怎么来做，有好多办法，可以根据自己的喜好来选择适合自己的方式。其实，如果文章写的朴实也未尝不是一件好事。简单明了逻辑清晰叙述清楚，这个就是好文章的标准。:)

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

最初由 angeikim 发表
[B]好的文章的开头要有一个general statement. 就是你个人对题目的题眼的看法。
以前我和我们这里的一个资深IELTS考官做培训的时候，就单独的关于这个问题讨论过好多次。一个文章如果缺少了这个general statement是得?.. [/B]

完全同意！

gteryyUID: 114434

这篇文章感觉例证非常多，看着有点头晕眼花。而且很多名字都是没见过没听过的，呵呵。。。不过这样丰富的知识也足以使批卷人叹为观止了。

而且这篇结构和我们以往常用的1、2、3然后admittedly不一样，它是先让步再论证，这样的结构如果能把握好，也是相当吸引人的。最重要是后面一定要有东西说，而且说的到位。

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

我们有时觉得空洞无物，谈理论吧又没有那种层次和高度，唯有转向例证来补救啦。然而即使我们手头有了大量例证，我们也要注意以下几点：

1. 例证的相关性；
2. 例证的前后要达到某种内在一致性和向心性，不能东扯一下，西扯一下就万事大吉了，其间建议用上几个有效的连词以提醒阅卷者我不是“臭婆娘的裹脚布”；
3. 有了例证，并不能忽略用上几句点睛的理论概述。

这些优点我们在“每日一评”的>=5分范文里都能找到熟悉的影子。