独立写作作业 by 葛岭泉

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

第一次参加，不知是不是这样形式？望大家指教


Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Telephones have had more positive effects on human kind thantelevisions.

With the development of technology,telephones and televisions have become the necessity of our daily lives, whichboth have huge impact on the way people live. While not denying the tremendousconvenience that both of them have brought to us, I see telephones have morepositive effects on our human kind.

To start with, let’s take a look at thefunctions of either. Telephones are used for instant communication betweenpeople regardless of their positions on the world. Cell phones, which are thelatest and most advanced version of telephone, can help people keep in touchwith each other in a mobile fashion. If there is certain kind of emergencyaround you, for example a robber committing crime on the street, or anexplosion occurring in a power plant, you can dial the emergency number if youbrought with a mobile phone. In disaster occasions like earthquake or floodwhere transportation has been cut off, for example, a set of satellite phonecan assist you to deliver the SOS signal out. Applications like phone meetingsand text messages are new examples that show the miscellaneous property ofmodern phone.

Concerning the television, which is anothergreat invention by human kind, we should also be gratitude. Thinking of thepleasure you get when you turn on the television and throw yourself in the softsofa at home after finishing a whole day of tough work under pressure,exhausted, you can understand the huge convenience of television. Television innot only a tool for you to entertain yourself with the funniest soup opera, butalso a best way to broadcast the most up-to-date news and information badlyneeded by people. Every coin has two sides, however, which is also true fortelevision. Compared to telephone, televisions transfer information only in onedirection, it can not serve completely as a communication tool. Telephone, incontrast, can really bring in interaction between the people using it. As aresult it’s a more efficient communication tool. Furthermore, many cases havereported that some young children would indulge in watching television, puttingaside the more important task of studying. Many harmful content played in television,like violence and sex, can also be included into the negative properties oftelevision.

In a nutshell, from what I slated above,the comparison and conclusion can be made that although telephones andtelevisions played key role in facilitating modern life, telephones have more positiveeffect on us than the televisions.

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

嗯。这样就可以了，等你积分够了，就可以上传附件。
方便的话，加群106391092。此群讨论写作。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

With the development of technology,telephones and televisions have become the necessity of our daily lives, whichboth have huge impact on the way people live. While not denying the tremendousconvenience that both of them have brought to us, I see telephones have morepositive effects on our human kind开头很干脆很赞，貌似首句长点

To start with, let’s take a look at thefunctions of either. Telephones are used for instant communication betweenpeople regardless of their positions/locations也挺好 on the world. Cell phones, which are thelatest and most advanced version of telephone, can help people keep in touch with each other in a mobile fashion不确定这个说法LZ可以自己查查. If there is certain kind of emergencyaround you, for example a robber committing crime on the street, or anexplosion occurring in a power plant, you can dial the emergency number if youbrought with a mobile phone.例子很好很贴近也很真实 In (natural) disaster occasions like earthquake or floodwhere transportation has been cut off, for example, a set of satellite phonecan assist you to deliver the SOS signal out. 额。。高级啊 Applications like phone meetings and text messages are new examples that show the miscellaneous property ofmodern phon 这段写的不错例子很好，很恰当

Concerning the television, which is another great invention by human kind, we should also be gratitude. Thinking of thepleasure you get when you turn on the television and throw yourself in the softsofa at home after finishing a whole day of tough work under pressure,exhausted, you can understand the huge convenience of television. 这句很长啊容易丢。。Television in 是is 么。。not only a tool for you to entertain yourself with the funniest-->silly soup opera, but also a best way to broadcast the most up-to-date好词学了 news and information badlyneeded by people. Every coin has two sides, however, which is also true fortelevision. Compared to telephone, televisions transfer-->transfering information only in onedirection, it can not serve completely as a communication tool. Telephone, incontrast, can really bring in interaction between the people using it. As aresult it’s a more efficient communication tool. Furthermore, many cases avereported that some young children would indulge in watching television, puttingaside the more important task of-->such as studying. Many harmful content played in television,like violence and sex-->porn, can also be included into the negative properties oftelevision

tshell, from what I slated-->严重了吧discuss就可以 above,the comparison and conclusion can be made that although telephones andtelevisions played key roles in facilitating modern life, telephones have more positiveeffect on us than the televisions. 结构很好很清晰，句子也挺丰富的，不单一。有个别用词不恰当不过不影响理解。第三段交流工具的比较总觉得不合适，电视是媒体用电话是工具比较貌似不恰当，LZ再斟酌下。

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

非常感谢修改指正！你好，请问我可以帮谁改文章吗？应该是互相帮助的，有配对什么的吗？谢谢！

With the development of technology,telephones and televisions have become the necessity of our daily lives, whichboth have huge impact on the way people live. While not denying the tremendousconvenien ...
我是chineselady 发表于 2010-3-16 22:19

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.

Different people lead different lifestyles, while someone prefers a nomadic style of living, which means moving to several places to live in different periods of life, others would rather stay steady in one place. Both ways of living render their advantages and drawbacks, however, I see more benefits in the former.

First, let’s take a look at the nomadic way of living. A typical instance may be like the following: A little boy was born in the city of AnYang, a poor rural town in the province of Henan, which is in the mid-east part of China. As he grown up to about 18 years old, he took the college entrance exam, and was successively admitted into Zhejiang University, located in Hangzhou, in the east part of China, which is much more developed. After another four years of study, he applied for the famous Stanford University for graduate program, luckily he was again enrolled. During his early life, he has lived in three totally different places and experienced completely dissimilar lifestyles. He has witnessed the imbalanced development among the three places, understood the huge gap between rich and poor, and thus decided to strive for better quality of life, at the same time seek for higher level of knowledge. Moreover, he promised to himself that maybe one day he can return to his hometown and develop it in return. Nevertheless, these opportunities would never fall on him if he chose to stay where he was born for his entire life.

From a broader perspective, we live in a rapidly globalizing world. On the one hand, he cost of transportation from one place to another reduced dramatically. While on the other hand, job or career opportunities are emerging on everywhere. Wise people should, as a result, refuse the old fashioned idea of staying still in the sense of planning his career. Furthermore, meeting with different kind of people, and discussing with them, can greatly refresh your mind and make it more creative. As far as I’m concerned, I enjoy talking to people while traveling, especially to foreigners, listening to their fascinating exotic stories.

In addition, people keep living in one place tend to think stubbornly, and can access to less knowledge. They might think people from all around the world think and act in their local way, and thus may cause problems while communicating or cooperating with outsiders. This lack of adaptation is dangerous and makes them vulnerable in this modern world full of competition.

From what I slated above, we can readily come to the conclusion that a lifestyle includes living in several different places is much more beneficial, since it brings people more opportunities. This lifestyle should be well advocated.

speedzshawUID: 2556376

3.15 修改 by speedzshaw

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.'

Different people lead different lifestyles, while someone prefers a nomadic style of living, which means moving to several places to live in different periods of life, others would rather stay steady （副词形式steadily）in one place. Both of (添加)ways of living（剪掉） render their advantages and drawbacks, however, I see more benefits in the former.

First, let’s take a look at the nomadic way of living. A typical instance may be like the（换成is是不是好） following: A little boy was born in the （我觉得应该换成a ,强调的是city 这个状态，而不是这个地方的名字）city of AnYang, a poor rural town in the province of Henan, which is in the mid-east part of China. As he grown up to about 18 years old, he took the college entrance exam, and was successively admitted into Zhejiang University, located in Hangzhou, in the east part of China, which is much more developed. After another four years of study, he applied for the famous Stanford University for graduate program, luckily he was again enrolled. During his early life, he has lived in three totally different places and experienced completely dissimilar lifestyles. He has witnessed the imbalanced development among the three places, understood the huge gap between rich and poor, and thus decided to strive for better quality of life, at the same time seek for higher level of knowledge. Moreover, he promised to (应该没有to)himself that maybe one day he can return to his hometown and develop it in return(应该是肯定语气吧，promise 和maybe 口气又点不一致). Nevertheless, these opportunities would never fall on him if he chose to stay where he was born for his entire life.
（我觉得应该后面主人公的从moving 得到的东西放点到首句上去，会更一目了然，点明主旨的意思）
From a broader perspective, we live in a rapidly globalizing world. On the one hand, he cost of transportation from one place to another reduced dramatically（不知道什么意思）. While on the other hand, （应该有个修饰词我觉得，更多的）job or career  opportunities（More opportunities of occupation?） are emerging on everywhere. Wise people should, as a result, refuse the old fashioned (多余，中式英语)idea of staying still in the sense of planning his career. Furthermore, meeting with different kind of people, and discussing with them, can greatly refresh your mind(我觉得idea 更好些，应为和refresh 搭配更好点，是要表达充电还是什么意思？) and make（在英文里make somebody do sth有叫人做什么的意思，最好有别的说法） it（you） more creative. As far as I’m concerned, I enjoy talking to(责备的意思，可以改suggest 如果是建议的意思) people while（这个词我也一直用不好，不知道在这里合适不，如果是我，我不用） traveling, especially to foreigners（是去外国旅游还是对于外国人来说旅游更好？跟后面的半句不搭）, listening to their fascinating exotic stories.% a' B/ w" Q6 j  R6 |' e5 O) ~(
9 o: Q3 {% a6 K' O( [; Y4 [! Z
In addition, people keep living（keeping live） in one place tend to think stubbornly, and can access to less knowledge(keeping live in one place tend to stubborn ,and can not access to limited knowledge ) They might think people from all around the world think and act in their local way, and thus may cause problems while(不确定对，但很难受) communicating(communication) or cooperating (cooperation )with outsiders. This lack （lacking ）of adaptation is dangerous and makes them vulnerable in(to) this modern world (which) full of competition.- k3 ]6 ?) Z% R4 h2 u) P7 X
（
From what I slated above, we can readily come to the conclusion that a lifestyle includes living in several different places is(句子结构有问题哦，在一个层次里两个动词) much more beneficial, since it brings people more opportunities. This lifestyle should be well advocated.


恩。我提点问题哦：1 模板痕迹非常重哦 ，
                  2 每层的意思都有很多，但不统一。我的建议是，每个分论点首句写好处，后面紧贴好处举列子。建议把层次重新列一下。
                  3 中式英语味道比较重，建议主人多看点文章吧。不建议185，我觉得那个里面套话空话很多，可以学点专业词汇，但总体行文风格不对。
                  4好多词汇我觉得小主人没有准确把握内涵，（我也没有，嘻嘻），不过我建议，把握不好的词汇可以不用。宁肯用简单的词，清晰地脉络表达自己的观点，也不要让老外不明白什么意思。
建议汇总：多看文章，特别是生活话一点的
          活背单词，把握单词内涵。

先说这点吧，不对的地方请见谅哦！

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positiveeffects on young people.

It haslong been controversial issue whether movies and televisions have more negativeeffects than positive effects on young people. On the basis of my experienceand expertise, the latter should be well supported, which emphasize on the positiveeffect. Therefore, the main purpose of my essay is to offer sufficient andessential evidence from the following various aspects.

First andforemost, movies and televisions are both important type of media from whichyoung people get access to abundant of knowledge that they badly need. It’swell known that television is one of the most efficient tools today that conveythe most up-to-date news and information to the public. For example, as theparents of a little boy, they might frequently been asked questions such as:What does a space shuttle looks like? How is it delivered to the orbit by arocket? Parents can hardly vividly describe and explain the phenomenon withoutthe help of television. By explaining in front of a TV which is broadcastinglive a rocket launch, the task becomes much easier.
Moreover, keep watching television everyday oroccasionally go to see a movie can persistently expand your horizon and keeppace with the rapidly developing world.

Inaddition, watching more movies and televisions can cultivate your interest in avariety of areas, and thus makes your life more colorful. It can be furtherexplained from two perspectives. On the one hand, when you are alone andsometimes feel down and depressed, which occurs in many teenagers, you canchoose to cheer yourself up by watching some funny shows, or soup opera. Thesekinds of entertaining programs would lose your pressure and sometimes keep youoptimistic. On the other hand, when you hang out with other young people, thenewest block buster or the most popular TV show can be appropriate talkingsubjects. These fashion elements can well facilitate your friendship, or evenextend your social circle by finding the person with same hobbies.

Admittedly,there are still many inappropriate elements on television or movie nowadays,including violence and porn, which is harmful especially to teenagers’ mentalhealth. Together with the fact that young people may indulge in watching vulgarprograms, we can not deny that there are indeed negative effects.

From whatI stated above, we can see that although disadvantages exist, the positiveaspect of watching televisions and movies far outweigh negative ones.Consequently, I can safely draw the conclusion which supports the latteropinion in the given statement.

speedzshawUID: 2556376

3.17 修改 by speedzshaw

yuyan890619UID: 2602299

3.18By 言.doc (24.5 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2010-3-19 15:12:34 上传

下载次数: 10

用word改的
fighting~

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.

With the development of modern technology, various facilities have been invented to reshape the way which people get access to knowledge, for example, from the traditional printed books to television. Both have their merits and exert huge influence on our society. On the basis of my experience and expertise, printed books still have greater effects on us. I’ll explain it in the following.

To start with, printed books have much longer history than the television. It’s well known that since the start of civilization, human have learnt to record on rocks and animal bones, which are original forms of printed books. Later, at about two thousand years ago, the Chinese invented the printing technique and spread it to the whole world. Till now, printed books have functioned in every corner of the planet and thus have enormous impact on our civilization. For example, the wisest philosophers like Aristotle have recorded his deep and valuable thoughts on the books which shed light on many generations of people.Many other scientists also saved their works in the form of printed books which enable the descendents to follow their path and do research on higher levels.To this extent, nothing other than printed books has accompanied the human society for such long and has such great effects on us.

Inaddition, we can not deny the great importance of printed books even if manymodern inventions, such as televisions, attempt to replace the books’ position.As we know, we still regard printed books as the most formal ways of recordinginformation. The governments of most countries and the United Nation recordevery meeting and ceremony on printed documents. The laws are printed andreleased on books. Little people are educated through reading every kind ofprinted books in the primary school. Printed books are influencing the wholesociety everywhere.

Admittedly,televisions have also changed the society a lot. News is broadcasted mainly through television nowadays, and television has served as a major entertaining tool. To some extend, television have replaced certain roles that have been previously played by printed books.

From what I stated above, we can draw the conclusion that although television has altered the modern society and the way people live greatly recent years, printed books still influence the society in longer time and wider scope, especially informal sectors.

yan121UID: 2415099

多发了 删掉一个额..能不能把这楼删掉的？？

yan121UID: 2415099

It has long been controversial issue whether movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on young people. On the basis of my experience and expertise, the latter should be well supported, which emphasize on the positive effect. Therefore, the main purpose of my essay is to offer sufficient and essential evidence from the following various aspects.

First and foremost, movies and televisions are both important type of media from which young people get access to abundant of knowledge that they badly need. It’s well known that television is one of the most efficient tools today that convey the most up-to-date news and information to the public. For example, as the parents of a little boy, they might frequently been asked questions such as: What does a space shuttle looks like? How is it delivered to the orbit by a rocket? Parents can hardly vividly describe and explain the phenomenon without the help of television. By explaining in front of a TV which is broadcasting a live（应该放这边才对吧？） rocket launch, the task becomes much easier.

Moreover, keep watching television everyday or occasionally go to see a movie can persistently expand your horizon and keep pace with the rapidly developing world.（这段突然只有一句话有点不合群的感觉..觉得再说多一点或者合并到上一段会比较好..）

In addition, watching more movies and televisions can cultivate your interest in a variety of areas, and thus makes your life more colorful. It can be further explained from two perspectives. On the（去掉） one hand, when you are alone and sometimes feel down and depressed, which occurs in（是不是应该改成to呢？） many teenagers, you can choose to cheer yourself up by watching some funny shows, or soup opera. These kinds of entertaining programs would lose（搭配好像怪怪的额
可能用reduce比较好） your pressure and sometimes（可去掉
意义好像不大） keep you optimistic. On the other hand, when you hang out with other young people, the newest block buster or the most popular TV show can be appropriate talking subjects. These fashion elements can well facilitate（用promote会不会比较好？） your friendship, or even extend your social circle by finding the person（嘻嘻
个人觉得用someone比较顺） with same hobbies.

Admittedly, there are still many inappropriate elements on television or movie nowadays, including violence and porn, which is harmful especially to teenagers’ mental health. Together with the fact that young people may indulge in watching vulgar programs, we cannot deny that there are indeed negative effects.

From what I stated above, we can see that although disadvantages exist, the positive aspect of watching televisions and movies far outweigh negative ones. Consequently, I can safely draw the conclusion which supports the latter opinion in the given statement.


写得很不错哦！主题明确，论点清晰，分析和论据都挺好的。还用了不少高级词汇。开头和结尾很好，不过有点模板的痕迹哦.. 还有词汇的搭配用法要注意嗯。

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

3.20 University students should be required to take basicscience classes even if they are not part of the field of the study。

It’s controversial issue whether University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study among professors and educators. Some people believe it’s a waste of time studying unrelated subjects, while plenty of other people suggest that university should provide a wide scope of knowledge to all the students. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter for the following experience and evidence.

To start with, basic science is crucial for everybody because it is related to nearly everything in our lives. In other words, knowledge of basic science is a kind of common sense. For example, learning some of the biology can offer us anapproximate understanding of our body. When we get sick, we should know which part of our bodies has malfunctioned. For example, the stomach or intestines are in different positions of the body, if we know the basic knowledge, we can do a preliminary diagnose. Then we can turn to the related doctor for help.Moreover, a basic understanding of physics can let us know the property of electricity. We can tell Alternative Current from Direct Current, and know that a voltage less can certain level, say 38V, is usually safe for human. With the above knowledge, we can operate home electrical appliance properly and safely.

In addition, knowledge learned from basic science classed can also be useful in research works of other field, such as literature and singing. Take ancient literature for example, recently there is news about the cross subjects project between Chinese traditional literature and Archeology. The professors and students of literature want to know the exact period or era of certain poems and lyrics, and thus understand the developing history or chronicle of this art form.With the help of archeologist and physicists, they measured the chemical elements of the ancient books using archeological and physical methods and discovered the exact time the book was written. Similarly, the knowledge about human throat architecture,which is part of the biology, can tell you how your voice is generated and thus improve your singing skill by a great deal. The crossover of different subjects has already become a novel trend of doing research, and as a result, students of any field should learn about the basic science.

From the evidence and examples I stated above, we can readily draw the conclusion that university students should learn more knowledge in area of basic science, which can help them not only in daily life but also in academic works.

lawrencelanUID: 2173940

11# 葛岭泉
Sorry for the late

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.
H; S, a: Z$ M" z5 M& g
With the development of modern technology, various facilities have been invented to reshape the way which people get access to knowledge, for example, from the traditional printed books to television. Both have their merits and exert huge influence on our society. On the basis of my experience and expertise, printed books still have greater effects on us (on society). I’ll explain it in the following.3 q, v# [3 d5 b
& t8 {7 P5 f! \3 Z8 \5 ~) O2 H
To start with, printed books have much longer history than the television. (呵呵，果然和我一样)It’s well known that since the start of civilizations, human have learnt to record on rocks and animal bones(Do you think referring to the ascent China civilization is more specific here? Maybe I was wrong, as far as I konw, oracles bones are only discovered in China), which are original forms of printed books. Later, at about two thousand years ago, the Chinese invented the printing technique (the printing technology, instead of "technique", technique is an adjective word.) and spread it to the whole world. Till now, printed books have functioned in every corner of the planet and thus have enormous impact on our civilizations. For example, the wisest philosophers like Aristotle have recorded his deep and valuable thoughts on the books which shed light on many generations of people.Many other scientists also saved their works in the form of printed books which enable the descendents to follow their path and do research on higher levels.To this extent, nothing other than printed books has accompanied the human society for such long and has such great effects on us(on society).
Z4 ^" h+ o1 s: E/ @$ W) u" j( y
In addition, we can not deny the great importance of printed books even if many modern inventions, such as televisions, attempt to replace the books’ position. As we know, we still regard printed books as the most formal ways of recording information. The governments of most countries and the United Nation record every meeting and ceremony on printed documents.(I tried to avoid this word in my essay because I think printed documents, and other printed materials like magazines and newspapers, are not kinds of printed books. Maybe we have to define "printed books" at first if we want to mention printed document in the essay.) The laws are printed and released on books. Little people are educated through reading every kind of printed books in the primary school.(?? I not understand this sentence here) Printed books are influencing the whole society everywhere.
y( w; M9 g5 \! i% e7 \
Admittedly, televisions have also changed the society a lot. News is broadcasted mainly through television nowadays, and television has served as a major entertaining tool. To some extend(to some extent), television have(has) replaced certain roles that have been previously played by printed books.
Q; a  G* Z
From what I stated above, we can draw the conclusion that although television has altered the modern society and the way people live greatly recent years, printed books still influence the society in longer time and wider scope, especially informal sectors.