Issue130不求细节，只求是否跑题

ulong001UID: 2686195

因为小白在尝试一种对我来说是比较新的写法，即任何问题都从本质展开，自认为是个不错的角度，但是对这种写法切题度感觉很难把握，拿绝对高频130试写了一篇，求探讨~

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 506          TIME: N/A          DATE: 2010/3/15 18:58:32
Haven't we raised children to be socialized so that they could structure the society better? The speaker claims so, but I disagree with the assertion for it is not a simple right-wrong issue depending my experiences. There are some crucial concepts and process should be clarified before we make the conclusion.
First and foremost, before we debate "how to raise children", the essence of education requires a clear definition. If we refer to the history of education no matter western or eastern, the debate about education is uncountable. But to seek its cause and effect, it stays in the relation among education, people and society. A philosophical perspective indicates that education belongs to the superior structures, which clearly point out the position of education in the society. We accumulate our experiences with language and letters to transmit them to the next generation, which ultimately leads to civil and advancement. Therefore, to advance human being, education is truly necessary. Education is the means people chase for better lives, and the tools to promote the society. From the analysis above we may conclude that education is a kind of activity to train a person.
Next, a point of the education's result comes out: what is the goal of education? It seems that education is to train various persons with skills then people could develop the society finally. Children study under the influences of education to be a person wanted by society. However, study is not only mechanical memorization, but also simulation and application. Most time, situations may appears in social lives are attempt and mistakes. So the essential goal of education is to culture one's ability when faces these situations. From my over ten year's experiences of study from primary school to university, comparing to the detailed knowledge or skills, the result of study is more the ability of the experiences of dealing with those unknown things, not even mentioned there lots of mistakes in the senior courses which needs us to distinguish.
Thus, socialization is just one of the results of education we raise our children. To structure future society is a vague destination, so it would fail to predict what the future society would be. Equally, it is also unknown that what is required to develop the society. According to this analysis, socialization may not be the unique standard to measure a child if he could shoulder the responsibility of the society. The prosperity of the society is also up to its technical level or the heritage of tradition. At the personal level, these presents as one’s personalities on doing research and literature. In my view, to make them seize themselves may be more useful than culture them with specific trends.
To sum up, the speaker looks on the problem too passive. Although I concede that socialization is indispensable for person’s is not isolated to society. But in today’s education, all characters needed by future society have been included so that it is unnecessary to be worried about if children could bring about a better society.

附：文章大概是按
教育的本质→教育的目的—学习的本质和目的→教育的结果，对社会的影响，以及社会化是否重要
这样一个思路论述的，由于有限时，有些地方论述的可能不完整，也没再修改，如果有可以加强的地方，恳请指出~

wu-intrepidUID: 2659758

1# ulong001
是不是有点偏题？文章的一大半都是在讨论教育，然后突然来了一句Thus, socialization is just one of the results of education we raise our children，socialization这个词直到这里才出现，那么socialization和教育的关系到底如何？一句just one of恐怕说不清楚，你说是就是？关键要论证...此外socialization作为教育的一种本身有什么特性，对社会有什么影响，似乎因为篇幅没有清楚的论述。为什么它不能决定社会呢？好歹给个例子，没有例证是很降分的。还有你说的technical level or the heritage of tradition对社会有影响，你只是提出这个观点，但没有论证，这样就没有说服力了。
我觉得本质问题在于，重心不在文章的前一大半，而在后一小半。因为你关于教育的种种论述，没有个性地回应题目，任何一个教育类的题目你都可以把这些话拉上去。如果文章有一大半都在进行这样并不很切题地论述，以我之见恐怕分数会打折扣。毕竟这些部分可以看做是你提前背诵的材料而非针对原题的critical thinking。
所以，把教育的本质作为一个小点进行论述，并且紧密结合socialization这个概念，也许比较适合，不会因小失大。
哦，对了，对于题目后半句话你好像没有怎么回应，这是作者的一种态度，包含了他（她）的一种社会关怀，要给予充分尊重，充分论述啊~
都是个人意见，你的文章我只看了大概，理解偏差在所难免，错了要提醒我啊~

ulong001UID: 2686195

2# wu-intrepid


其实我也是觉得有跑题所以才发上来的
可是怎么把教育的结果之一是社会化这个概念给迁出来呢？我觉得…难…   不过如果能迁出来的话就…牛… 文章肯定insightful了…