3.15

pochun111UID: 2608867

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement;
The government should spend more money on improving access to the internet than on the public transportation.


In resent years, internet has overwhelmed each point of our life. Furthermore, the sources and materials are incredibly comprehensive, part of which have promoted our developments while the others have brought a great deal of trouble. Admittedly, playing as an indispensible role as the internet to our society, transportation also have reflected advantage and disadvantage. As far as I am concerned, the government should spend equivalent money on both internet and transportation.

On the first place, the government should spend money on changing the negative respect of the internet while insuring the positive one. Internet steps into our daily life gradually. The tremendous significance of internet is that it’s not only let us comprehend the whole word but also change our mind in studying, working and living. We have the opportunity to get the news from every corner of the world, and learn a variety of knowledge of every discipline via the development of the internet. For instance, the newest information of our favored superstars and what happened in places such as the resent earthquake in Chile and tsunamis it brings. Sometimes, we have to search the internet to find out some related information to write up our researches and papers on our majors. People would like to play a series of computer games to relax themselves after a busy working day. We can’t obtain these conveniences without internet. Nevertheless, a plenty of violent and erotic information the internet have spread is capable of poisoning children’s mind. Therefore, to undo the unhealthy information and make the internet developing in a correct way the government still has a long distance to walk.

On the second place, there are still lots of problems in our transportation that government should invest money on solving these problems to make sure our life smoother. In some big cities the transportation is developed, the airplane can take us to another place swiftly; train and ship can soothe the flow of tourists; subway, bus and taxi are all efficient vehicle for us to go to work or school. However, it always have traffic jam in rush hour, which make the bus can not reach the stop on time and waste a lot of our time on our way to destination. Further more, the lack of traffic facilities have foment much accident as well. What’s more, in some small indigent towns, the traffic is less convenient than that of big cities. They didn’t have enough money to construct roads. Therefore, a tremendous amount of money should be invested in these places to satisfy their needs. What else, in big cities, the government should also propose a series of methods to reduce the rate of traffic accident and mollify the congestion.

In conclusion, both internet and transportation have many problems to be solved. Both of them have played the essential role of our development. Thereby, the government shouldn’t neglect any of them and should endeavor to perfect them.

s499992008UID: 2688967

The government should spend more money on improving access to the internet than on the public transportation. * m& Q4 E7 f/ } y8 N2 K4 p - G9 R4 W; X0 i2 D9 z. F ; q$ v D2 S1 k) W1 b In resent years, internet has overwhelmed each point of our life. Furthermore, the sources and materials are incredibly comprehensive, part of which have promoted our developments while the others have brought a great deal of trouble. Admittedly, playing as an indispensible role as the internet to our society, transportation also have reflected advantage and disadvantage. As far as I am concerned, the government should spend equivalent money on both internet and transportation.'(中立的写法，我听别人说最好不要写中立观点呢？我也不太清楚，你再问问别人吧。) Z+ E: a* R0 g' r/ A4 v$ b 1 Q1 t% j+ X% q' A3 ]6 k8 d On the first place, the government should spend money on changing the negative respect of the internet while insuring the positive one. Internet steps into our daily life gradually. The tremendous significance of internet is that it’s not only let us (understand ) comprehendly the whole word but also change our mind in studying, working and living. We have the opportunity to get the news from every corner of the world, and learn a variety of knowledge of every discipline via the development of the internet. For instance, the newest information of our favored superstars and what happened in places such as the resent earthquake in Chile and tsunamis it brings. Sometimes, we have to search the internet to find out some related information to write up our researches and papers on our majors. People would like to play a series of computer games to relax themselves after a busy working day. We can’t obtain these conveniences without internet. Nevertheless, a plenty of violent and erotic information the internet have spread is capable of poisoning children’s mind. Therefore, to undo(这个词用在这不知道什么意思了) the unhealthy information and make the internet developing in a correct way the government still has a long distance to walk.1 l4 W* o4 z8 A8 @) r/ S" f * c+ M! m3 |" |- H" \% _% _ On the second place, there are still lots of problems in our transportation that government should invest money on solving these problems to make sure our life smoother. In some big cities the transportation is developed, the airplane can take us to another place swiftly; train and ship can soothe the flow of tourists; subway, bus and taxi are all efficient vehicle for us to go to work or school. However, it always have traffic jam in rush hour, which make the bus can not reach the stop on time and waste a lot of our time on our way to destination. Further more, the lack of traffic facilities have foment much accident as well. What’s more, in some small indigent towns, the traffic is less convenient than that of big cities. They didn’t have enough money to construct roads. Therefore, a tremendous amount of money should be invested in these places to satisfy their needs. What else, in big cities, the government should also propose a series of methods to reduce the rate of traffic accident and mollify the congestion. ( r/ g( ^ t5 y Y+ V# I 3 t- J- ~7 @1 Y' j$ O: }In conclusion, both internet and transportation have many problems to be solved. Both of them have played the essential role of our development. Thereby, the government shouldn’t neglect any of them and should endeavor to perfect them. 全篇写的都很好。而且例子也挺多。我觉得比我的好多了。水平有限，只能看出这点问题了

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

In resent years, internet has overwhelmed each point of our life. Furthermore, the sources and materials are incredibly comprehensive, part of which have promoted our developments while the others have brought a great deal of trouble. Admittedly, playing as an indispensible role as the internet to our society, transportation also have reflected advantage and disadvantage. As far as I am concerned, the government should spend equivalent money on both internet and transportation.

On the first place, the government should spend money on changing the negative respect of the internet while insuring the positive one. Internet steps into our daily life gradually. The tremendous significance of internet is that it’s（it） not only let（lets） us comprehend the whole word（world） but also change（changes） our mind in studying, working and living. We have the opportunity to get the news from every corner of the world, and learn a variety of knowledge of every discipline via the development of the internet. For instance, the newest information of our favored superstars and what happened in places such as the resent earthquake in Chile and tsunamis it brings. Sometimes, we have to search the internet to find out some related information to write up our researches and papers on our majors. People would like to play a series of computer games to relax themselves after a busy working day. We can’t obtain these conveniences without internet. Nevertheless, a plenty of violent and erotic information the internet have spread is capable of poisoning children’s mind. Therefore, to undo the unhealthy information and make the internet developing（develop） in a correct way the government still has a long distance to walk.（有这个用法吗？我貌似只听说过have a long way to go）

On the second place, there are still lots of problems in our transportation that government should invest money on solving these problems to make sure our life smoother（这句话有语法问题，加了sure之后后面就是一个从句了，但既没有连接词也没有谓语动词）. In some big cities the transportation is developed, the airplane can take us to another place swiftly; train and ship can soothe the flow of tourists; subway, bus and taxi are all efficient vehicle for us to go to work or school. However, it always have traffic jam in rush hour, which make the bus can not reach the stop on time（这句话也有问题，一句话出现了两个谓语动词） and waste a lot of our time on our way to destination. Further more, the lack of traffic facilities have foment much accident as well. What’s more, in some small indigent towns, the traffic is less convenient than that of big cities. They didn’t have enough money to construct roads. Therefore, a tremendous amount of money should be invested in these places to satisfy their needs. What else, in big cities, the government should also propose a series of methods to reduce the rate of traffic accident and mollify the congestion.

In conclusion, both internet and transportation have many problems to be solved. Both of them have played the essential role of our development. Thereby the government shouldn’t neglect any of them and should endeavor to perfect them.

楼主语言很流畅，论点也很有说服力，但是感觉你一段里面写了太多小论点，又没有加以说明，好像是在堆砌论点一样，还不如挑几个有说明性的好好发挥。另外就是有一些语法错误，还请楼主注意一下。