考试到了， Argumen160请指点， 谢谢

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TOPIC: ARGUMENT160 - As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almost completely restored lost memory in rats. The use of these compounds should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating-and therefore serious problems in school performance. Science finally has a solution for problems neither parents nor teachers could solve.
WORDS: 412
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-19 11:16:05

Ground on a research that some compounds can prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart, and citing the compounds have successful restored the lost memory in rats, the arguer synthesizes that the compounds can also help students to improve poor memory and resolve the difficulty in concentrating, and thus the serious problems in school performance can be figured out. However, after close scrutiny reveals this argument rests on several flaws as it stands.
In the first place, the writer provides no evidence to demonstrate that the students' poor memory and difficulty in concentrating are the consequence of the PEP breaking down the neuropeptide. As we common known, there are some reasons for the students have the poor memory and difficulty in concentrating, for example, the students have little interest in learning, so they may find difficult in remembering the knowledge and often fails
to concentrate in the classes, it is not the same with the older.
In the second place, the writer fails to consider the discrepancy between the rats and human beings which may contributes a different result to people when the compounds are employed in the populations. Even though the compounds can restore the lost memory in rats, the writer can not give cogent evidence to illustrate that the same result will appear to students, if the compounds contain some
elements which are uncertain or dangerous, and then the compounds may cause dangerous consequence to the students.
Finally, even though the compounds are real function in ameliorating the poor memory and resolve the difficulty in concentrating, the writer still to hasty to assert that the serious problems in schools can be settled. The writer unfairly think that the poor memory and difficulty in concentrating are the main problems in school performance, there are some more serious problems, for instance, gambling, fighting, smoking and so forth, these bad performance are more urgent for the entire society to solve.
In sum, this argument is based on several immature evidences and thus unconvincing. To bolster the argument, the writer must provide credible evidence to substantiate that the poor memory of the students is the result of the neuropeptide broken down by PEP, and at the same time they should convince us that the compounds can ameliorate the poor memory and figure out the difficulty in concentrating for the students. To better assess the argument, the writer should still give adequate supports to verify that the major problems in the school are poor memory and difficulty in concentrating.