issue48 kaolaliang【Cracking Aw】

kaolaliangUID: 2758807

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 340
TIME: 0:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-21


Topic suggests the history always has attention about the events of famous few individuals, and the groups of people couldn't be missed in history. The saying is biased. As I know the groups of people compose the history but the few ones created history.

Obviously, the history recorded so many personal events that we don’t learn groups of people from these events. The famous leader as we know, Lincoln was studied by too many historians to we know him not only as a politician but also as a star in history, the kids are familiar with his things and people usually discuss his events in the street. And we learn about the famous ones’ charm in history. Many people admire Napoleon because he represented courage, intelligent, capabilities in military and political, the most attractive is that his ups and downs life, which was written in the history and learned by so many people furthermore knowed by most of people.

What is more, history begined with individual. The individuals and events consisted of the whole history, but people couldn’t record all of the events the only choice is the famous and far-reaching impacts, so that’s why the books always lay out. And we can explain why people want to study the fews in history.

Not only we learn about the individuals, but also study the history, which is a clue in the history. The events included so many people, the few ones dominant these events but the groups had done these, the research about the few ones really need is that find the process of the society. The historial will learn about the events to figure out what made Napoleon left the island back to France, what really is the Qing Dynasty fallen down, what is Vinci purpose to paint the smile in Monalisa. The whole reseach just studied the whole society, individuals is only a significant.

Sum it up, we should learn the history not only by the famous persons but what reprenest is the really we want to learn.

sunmintijmuUID: 2692476

还是那句话，大家要审清题目啊！不是attention，是more attention差别挺大的吧！Topic suggests the history always has paid attention to famous few individuals, and the groups of people couldn't be missed in history. The saying is biased. As I know the groups of people compose the history but the few ones created history.

Obviously, the history recorded so many personal events that we don’t learn groups of people from these events. The famous leader as we know, Lincoln was studied by too many historians to we know him not only as a politician but also as a star in history, the kids are familiar with his things and people usually discuss his events in the street. 这句太长，太拗口，而且英文表达的意思，不是你想表达的意思，虽然我理解了，因为我知道你拿中文怎么想的。And we learn about the famous ones’ charm in history. Many people admire Napoleon because he represented courage, intelligent, capabilities in military and political, the most attractive is that his ups and downs life, which was written in the history and learned by so many people furthermore known by most of people.

What is more, history begined with individual. 你的意思是不是想说：In the history, the new era came because of famous few individuals The individuals and events consisted of the whole history, but people couldn’t record all of the events the only choice is the famous and far-reaching impacts, so that’s why the books always lay out. And we can explain why people want to study the fews in history.

Not only we learn about the individuals, but also study the history, which is a clue in the history. The events included so many people, the few ones dominant these events but the groups had done these, the research about the few ones really need is that find the process of the society. The historical will learn about the events to figure out what made Napoleon left the island back to France, what really is the Qing Dynasty fallen down, what is Vinci purpose to paint the smile in Monalisa. The whole research just studied the whole society, individuals is only a significant.

Sum it up, we should learn the history not only by the famous persons but what represent is the really we want to learn.
以下仅是个人观点，如有不对，请见谅：
还是下了很大功夫的，从举的例子可以看出，应该是背了不少，但是，
1.观点有点一边倒，太强调individual了，我不知道这样是不是可以，但是我想对于issue的话，最好不要倒向一面吧。而且这样说到最后就无话可说了。字数不是关键因素，但是如果太少了也不好。
2.通篇都在说individual的重要性，但是即使这样也没有说出，是过于强调了他们的作用还是不够？最好直接给出自己的观点。
3.我觉得还是中文的写作习惯，举例子，摆事实，结论是啥自己猜，英文写作最好一针见血吧。