[66's]异题 Issue121

liberta.seanUID: 2700223

TOPIC: ISSUE121 - "At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."
WORDS: 482          TIME: 00:47:27          DATE: 2010/3/21 10:03:59

While many species have disappeard as a result of nature forcesin the geological past ,looking at the polluted river with no fish and the grassless sandland once having jovial animals running on it ,we may cannot help ask :Who made this change of our evironment ?Apparently it's us ,the human being ,who have done this to the earth .In order to  make the world look better and prevent mor animals from extincting ,we have to take measures .

Admittedly ,some species have become extinct due to the natural process such as draught ,blizzard .Sometimes the climate could be very harsh in the past time ,which can threathen the lives of so many animals.Such as the dinasour ,disapperd due to the sudden climate change after dominating the world for long time .We only know a few of species extincting in this way .

However,people increase the rate of extincting of animals obviously.In the past 200 years ,more and more animals have disappeared from our visions.What's more ,at present there are some species extincitng every day .We cannot attribute this to the nature process for the reason that human force plays a vital role in this process .Due to the fast growing population and consumpotion of fuel enegry ,the world has changed a a lot :the earth is becoming wamer and wamer ;climate disorders such as flood and draught have stoke many parts of the world;The glacier in North Pole is becoming less and less ,perhaps finally leading to the extinction of polar bear ;the rainforest of Brazil,which is called lung of the earth ,has been damaged heavily ,causing many species die out .We cannot deny it is not us that accelerating the pace of the extinction of animals.

We have to make extraordinary efforts,even at a great cost in money and jobs ,to save the endangered species .The earth is not home only for human beings,but for all the species on it .We have no right to damage it ,let along threaten the lives of other creatures.Given that the mistake we have done ,we should redeem it as possible as we can .Besides ,the biosphere is an integrity ,every species interacting with each other .If one specie has become extinct from the world ,the area where it lives will be in mess ,the food chain disturbed .Although this disorder is not apprent to human ,people will realize its harmfulness in the end ,which may cause human society danger and even lead to the extinction of human .In this way ,people have to make their best to reduce the rate of extinction ,even at great cost .By taking some mearsure to protect the species ,we also can benefit from it .

To sum up ,we have to take measures to reduce the rate of extinction of species ,to some extent abating the threat toourselves.Though this ,the earth can enjoy a long period of propersity.

soilinkinUID: 2163892

TOPIC: ISSUE121 - "At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."
WORDS: 482          TIME: 00:47:27          DATE: 2010/3/21 10:03:59

While many species have disappeard as a result of nature forces in the geological past ,looking at the polluted river with no fish and the grassless sandland once having jovial animals running on it ,we may cannot(不要may) help ask(asking) :Who made this change of our evironment ?(who is to be responsible for the change)Apparently it's us ,the human beings ,who have done this to the earth(地球的话直接earth不要定冠词) .In order to  make the world look better and prevent mor animals from extincting(extinction) ,we have to take measures .

Admittedly ,some species have become extinct due to the natural process such as draught ,blizzard .Sometimes the climate could be very harsh in the past time ,which can threathen the lives of so many animals.Such as the dinasour ,disapperd due to the sudden climate change after dominating the world for long time .We only know a few of species extincting(die out) in this way .

However,people increase the rate of extincting(extinction) of animals obviously.In the past 200 years ,more and more animals have disappeared from our visions.What's more ,at present there are some species extincitng every day .We cannot attribute this to the nature process for the reason that human force plays a vital role in this process .Due to the fast growing population and consumpotion of fuel enegry ,the world has changed a a lot :the earth is becoming wamer and wamer(increasingly warmer) ;climate disorders such as flood and draught have stoke many parts of the world;The glacier in North Pole is becoming less and less ,perhaps finally leading (this will lead)to the extinction of polar bear ;the rainforest of Brazil,which is called lung of the earth ,has been damaged heavily ,causing many species die out .We cannot deny it is not(去掉not...都三重否定了...) us that accelerating the pace of the extinction of animals.

We have to make extraordinary efforts,even at a great cost in money and jobs ,to save the endangered species .The earth is not home only for human beings,but for all the species on it .We have no right to damage it ,let along threaten the lives of other creatures.Given that the mistake we have done(made) ,we should redeem it as possible as we can .Besides ,the biosphere is an integrity ,(in which)every species interacting(interacts) with each other .If one specie has become extinct from the world ,the area where it lives will be in mess ,the food chain disturbed .Although this disorder is not apprent to human ,people will realize its harmfulness in the end ,which may cause human society danger and even lead to the extinction of human .(如何会使人类灭亡)In this way ,people have to make their best to reduce the rate of extinction ,even at great cost .By taking some mearsure to protect the species ,we also can benefit from it .(人类的benefit是什么...一直没有提到...)

To sum up ,we have to take measures to reduce the rate of extinction of species ,to some extent abating the threat toourselves.Though this ,the earth can enjoy a long period of propersity.

LZ的reasoning不够扎实...不紧凑...过多的大话使得逻辑不够严密...建议多谈的具体点...
多看看范文的论证会有好处...