3.22独立写作 by ly8768

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

There is an increasing trend that people spend more time on their work than that on their families, especially in metropolis. Facing massive working tasks, a group of people argue that it is more important to allocate more time on their jobs because of the intensive working pressure. In my perspective, however, I cannot agree with this contention because family is more important to a person and it should be spent more time on.觉得主动比较好people should spend more time being with family My specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, family plays a crucial role to a person's happiness and it is more important than jobs. It is true that no bread no life让我想起了no money no honey, yet we should make sure what kind of life we aspire for. This reminds me of a theory on life, 我好像看过修饰theory的话就是remind的宾语就跟宾语从句就行which concludes that the final goal of life is happiness. Here comes to the question that what is a happy life. A life of achievement is not a happy life because besides success in most times we should face problems and failure; a life of power is not a happy life for more power means more responsibilities; a life of massive fortune is not a happy life since money cannot buy happiness. Only with a warm family will we find the happiness of life. Even though a person gains a great success, while if he/she fails to have a family, then his/her life rarely makes a sense - just as if a beautiful natural sense lacks color. Therefore, when we are young especially when we have time, do spend more time with our families 抽象啊

Furthermore, a stable and concord family can support each family member to realize their dreams. For one thing, family is like a harbor in the process of we exploring the unpredictable world. When we are frustrated in the way of striving, we can confide to our families members and they would help us to solve problems; when we feel tired about work, family can help us to release pressure. What is more, there is massive of trivia in our lives, which actually takes us a great deal of time and energy to handle. Nevertheless, families can deal with them together. As a result, each member of family has more time to fulfill their dreams. That is why it is more important for people to spend more time with their families to improve the relative relationship. For the other thing, family relationships need time to maintain. If people spend more time being with their families and pay more attention to their family, it will enhance their link hood; while if people fail to, it would damage their relationship or even may destroy the family. Because of family crisis, hardly would anyone have more energy to their career. Based on the analysis, I am convinced that people should allocate more time to stay with family.

n sum, family plays an important role in people's life. It provides help and satisfy people's emotion needs. Because of the magnitude and necessity of family, I strongly recommend that people should spend more time being with family. 很抽象的这篇，好

ly8768UID: 2452066

3.31 Advertisements make products seem better than they are.

Advertisements have pervaded into all aspects of our daily life. There are many forms of advertisements such as newspaper, television, huge board aside highway, websites on internet and so forth. Facing various advertisements, we are confused which good should we choose and question the truth of advertisement. A group of people argue that advertisement make products seem better than they are. In my perspective, I am totally supportive of this view and my specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the content of advertisements can cause illusion to costumers. Since advertisement aims to impress people, the planers of advertisements would make great endeavor to make it attractive. In this manner, hardly can customers have a true sense of commodities only by advertisement. For instance, an advertisement of tyres depicts a scene in which a car is driven in a street at high speed. Suddenly, a cute dog losing its host appears just nearly in front of the automobiles. Facing the dangerous situation, the driver breaks immediately and the car stops without hurting that pet. This advertisement gives people an impression that this kind of types is extremely excellent because of its safety. However, it probably is not the truth. Possible is it that computer technology help designers artificially compose this video; or the break system of that car contributes more to the survival of that dog. Hence, customers are misled by the advertisement. Besides, advertisement employs unfamiliar technical term, which gives people illusion. In an advertisement of water, the term iron water is introduced to describe the new products of water. A majority of people have rare background information about iron water and as a result they believe this kind of water is more healthy. Actually, there is no difference between iron water and spring water. The merchants just use a new word or technical term to describe. Based on the analysis above, I am convinced that advertisements enable products seem better than they actually are.

Furthermore, the effect of advertisements can lead people to overestimate the products. In most cases, denizens prefer to refer to others' experiences and the advertisements utilize it. I will use the following example to illustrate my point. Supposing a new type of cell phone are put into the market and the company allocate a great sum of money to promote this cell phone. Hence, when watching TV program, people can see its advertisements; while on the internet, the main websites have the information introducing the functions of this cell phone; still posters of the cell phone would be found in the shopping mall. Therefore, a group of people could choose to purchase the new cell phone. Having seen their friends, colleague or relatives buy this mobile phone, people are likely to make the same decision because they believe the cell phone are accepted by others they trust. In this manner, this type of cell phone becomes popular and it seems a good one. While as a matter of fact, it is not because it is of good quality but for many people are afraid to fail to follow the step of others. In this case, it is acceptable to make the conclusion that people could overestimate products through advertisements.

In sum, because of the illusion caused by advertisements and the commonsense that most people prefer to follow others, I am agree with the view that advertisements make products seem better than they are.

john_332UID: 2741978

3-31   修改 by 舜

Advertisements have pervaded (好词)into all aspects of our daily life. There are many forms of advertisements such as newspaper, television, huge board aside highway, websites on internet and so forth. Facing various advertisements, we are confused (缺个about)which good should we choose and question the truth of advertisement. A group of people argue that advertisement make products seem better than they are. In my perspective, I am totally supportive of this view and my specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the content of advertisements can cause illusion to costumers. Since advertisement aims to impress people, the planers of advertisements would make great endeavor to make it attractive. In this manner, hardly can customers have a true sense of commodities only by advertisement. For instance, an advertisement of tyres depicts a scene in which a car is driven in a street at high speed. Suddenly, a cute dog losing its host appears just nearly in front of the automobiles. Facing the dangerous situation, the driver breaks immediately and the car stops without hurting that pet. This advertisement gives people an impression that this kind of types (tyre)is extremely excellent because of its safety. However, it probably is not the truth. Possible is it that computer technology help designers artificially compose this video; or the break system of that car contributes more to the survival of that dog. Hence, customers are misled by the advertisement. Besides, advertisement employs unfamiliar technical term, which gives people illusion. In an advertisement of water, the term iron water is introduced to describe the new products of water. A majority of people have rare background information about iron water and as a result they believe this kind of water is more healthy. Actually, there is no difference between iron water and spring water. The merchants just use a new word or technical term to describe. Based on the analysis above, I am convinced that advertisements enable products seem better than they actually are.

语言，句子方面都很流畅，表达清晰，看到你的行文思路，我觉得我似乎写反了，你是广告的负面效应着手写的。例证都很充分，有些句子写得很不错。


Furthermore, the effect of advertisements can lead people to overestimate the products. In most cases, denizens(没必要用这么生偏的词吧)prefer to refer to others' experiences and the advertisements utilize it. I will use the following example to illustrate my point. Supposing a new type of cell phone are put (putting) into the market and the company allocate a great sum of money to promote this cell phone. Hence, when watching TV program, people can see its advertisements; while on the internet, the main websites have the information introducing the functions of this cell phone; still posters of the cell phone would be found in the shopping mall. Therefore, a group of people could choose to purchase the new cell phone. Having seen their friends, colleague or relatives buy this mobile phone, people are likely to make the same decision because they believe the cell phone are accepted by others they trust. In this manner, this type of cell phone becomes popular and it seems a good one. While as a matter of fact, it is not because it is of good quality but for many people are afraid to fail to follow the step of others. In this case, it is acceptable to make the conclusion that people could overestimate products through advertisements.

个人觉得这一段所举的例子有点牵强，然后就是感觉中间的论述太冗长了，几句话就可以说清楚。

In sum, because of the illusion caused by advertisements and the commonsense that most people prefer to follow others, I am agree with the view that advertisements make products seem better than they are.

   一开始觉得这个题目好写，后来发现其实还是有难度，不过本文在内容和论证方面都是不错的了。

水谣碧玺UID: 2765062

Advertisements have pervaded学习了 into all aspects of our daily life. There are many forms of advertisements such as newspaper, television, huge board aside highway原来是这样说的，学习。, websites on internet and so forth. Facing various advertisements, we are confused which good should we choose and question the truth of advertisements. A group of people argue that advertisement make products seem better than they are. In my perspective, I am totally supportive of this view and my specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the content of advertisements can cause illusion俺没想到这个词- -！ to costumers. Since advertisement aims广告复数，aim原型吧 to impress people, the planers of advertisements would make great endeavor学习 to make it attractive. In this manner, hardly can customers have a true sense of commodities only by advertisement. For instance, an advertisement of tyres depicts a scene in which a car is driven in a street at high speed. Suddenly, a cute dog losing its host appears just nearly in front of the automobiles.描写的很有画面感的说... Facing the dangerous situation, the driver breaks immediately and the car stops without hurting that pet. This advertisement gives people an impression that this kind of types is extremely excellent because of its safety. However, it probably is not the truth. Possible is it that computer technology help designers artificially compose this video; or the break system of that car contributes more to the survival of that dog. Hence, customers are misled by the advertisement. Besides, advertisement employs unfamiliar technical term, which gives people illusion. In an advertisement of water, the term iron water is introduced to describe the new products of water. A majority of people have rare background information about iron water and as a result they believe this kind of water is more healthy. Actually, there is no difference between iron water and spring water. The merchants just use a new word or technical term to describe这是及物动词，不能这么用吧. Based on the analysis above, I am convinced that advertisements enable products seem better than they actually are.

Furthermore, the effect of advertisements can lead people to overestimate the products. In most cases, denizens prefer to refer to others' experiences and the advertisements utilize it. I will use the following example to illustrate my point. Supposing a new type of cell phone are put into the market and the company allocate a great sum of money to promote this cell phone. Hence, when watching TV program, people can see its advertisements; while on the internet, the main websites have the information introducing the functions of this cell phone; still posters of the cell phone would be found in the shopping mall. Therefore, a group of people could choose to purchase the new cell phone. Having seen their friends, colleague or relatives buy this mobile phone, people are likely to make the same decision because they believe the cell phone are accepted by others they trust. In this manner, this type of cell phone becomes popular and it seems a good one. While as a matter of fact, it is not because it is of good quality but for many people are afraid to fail to follow the step of others. In this case, it is acceptable to make the conclusion that people could overestimate products through advertisements.

In sum, because of the illusion caused by advertisements and the commonsense that most people prefer to follow others, I am agree with the view that advertisements make products seem better than they are.

文章很好，水平比我好太多了。。赞楼主一个。很丰富的例子，很得体的论证。我写例子的时候在那里憋了半天，就憋出来个很小白的例子。
楼主加油~！

ly8768UID: 2452066

Playing sports teaches people lessons about life.

Sports, as daily activities, play important roles in people's life. Such various sports as football, running, basketball, tennis, swimming, badminton, baseball and so forth have pervaded into our daily life. A group of people treat sports only as activities that help them build up bodies or just as entertainment. In my perspective, however, more than exercise and amusement, we can gain benefits of knowledge and lessons about life by playing sports. My specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, playing sports can prevent a person from making mistakes in one's life. When playing sports, people could form a variety of habits. And these habits are essentially necessary to help people shape their personalities, which account for a person's success. Playing football teaches players to collaborate with each other; Ping-pang calls for concentration; still, each sport requires players to making endeavor if they plan to perform well. Collaboration prevents people from being selfish; hardly a concentrated person is careless; finally, it is unlikely that a person willing to make effort would be a lazy one. All of these indicate the importance of sports to prevent a person from making mistakes in one's life. In this manner, the effect of playing sport is not only limited to help people build body, but also it is beneficial for people to form good personalities, which is essentially crucial to one's success. Based on the analysis, I am supportive the point that playing sports offer people lessons about life.

Furthermore, playing sports provides people opportunity to learn the theory of life. Admittedly, the theory of life is so complex that rarely could any matter is as complicated as it is. Nevertheless, never could anyone deny the fact the principle of playing sports more or less has bonds with life. I will illustrate my point with the example of running. As an Chinese saying depicts, if a player have finished 90 percent of the journal, actually the player is just in the half to the ending, because the rest 10 percent of the journal is much more tough. It is the same when it comes to the life. The principle of running teaches us to keep striving when we nearly achieve our goal. This reminds me of a story about a challenger who intend to cross the England Channel. At the end stage of his journal, he was almost exhausted. Although it is only one kilometer to the ending, yet since he could not see the ending because of the dense fog that day, he gave it up. Latter, he knew the truth that he almost accomplished the challenge, we felt pity. After that, the challenger learnt the theory that when a person nearly reaches the goal, he/she should make more effort to accomplish the rest of it. Thus, I am convinced that people can learn the theory of life by playing sports.

In sum, since playing sports are helpful to prevent people making mistakes and people would have the opportunity to learn theory about life, I agree that playing sports teaches people lessons about life.

馋MEUID: 2761685

20# ly8768
revisons

ly8768UID: 2452066

ly8768 4.3作业

It's better to watch serious movies to get deeper think or watch movies that amuse or entertain you.

Generally, movies can be divided into two types. The one is called serious movie; while the other is amusing one. Both of the two types of movies are important to our life. Amusing movies could bring happiness and laughing to people, and the serious ones would lead people to get deeper think. A group of people prefer to watch amusing movies for they believe that watching movies is likely an activity of entertainment more than lessons. In my perspective, however, serious movies play a more crucial role to people because it benefits both the society and individual. My specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, serious movies can promote the development of the society. Movies, as component of culture, should be responsible for the enhancement of society. As literature works in the 18th century publicize the idea of freedom and uncover social problems contemporarily, serious movies reflect the condition of the society and discuss intensive issues in modern society. What is more, serious movies also reminds people of lessons of past. In most cases, the directors of serious movies depict issues of the society according to real stories. Therefore, after watching movies, more audiences would focus on those issues and so would mediums. I will illustrate my view by the following serious movies. One scene of the movie Gone With the Wind displays the cruelty of War and pains resulting from civil war; in the movie of The Shawshank Redemption, people notice the evil in the prison; the movie of The Terminal describes a person's life in Kennedy airport because of his passport's problem. Gone With the Wind reminds people of the importance of peace; Shawshank Redemption appeal denizens to pay attention on the legal justice and probity of officers; still The Terminal shift concentration of civilians to cross-culture communication. All of these serious movies indicate the significance of this kind of movies in the improvement of our society. Based on the analysis, I am supportive of the inclination of serious movies on the promotion of the society.

Furthermore, serious movies offer people to explore human's inner world. Some of serious movies aim to discuss the moral principles and personalities of human beings. Hence, people could have a better understanding to themselves by watching these movies. For instance, The Legend of 1900 describes an excellent pianist who refused to leave the ship since he fear to reach the land; Forrest Gump tells a story about the life a mentally retarded person. After watching The Legend of 1900, we have the same sense that people are afraid to unknown area; while Forrest Gump spurs people to overcome difficulties in one's life. In this case, if amusing movies are candies which show sweaty life, then serious movies are chocolate combined with not only sweet but also with bitter, which is not always about happiness but is the real life. That is another reason why I would like to watch serious movies rather than amusing movies.

In sum, two reasons lead me to be fond of serious movies. On one hand, serious movies can help us promote the development of the society; while on the other hand, we can have a better understanding about ourselves. Thus it is better to watch serious movies.

馋MEUID: 2761685

22# ly8768

ly8768UID: 2452066

4.6

Do you agree or disagree: Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.

When facing difficulties, many people usually prefer to ask their friends and relatives for help. Their friends and relatives would offer such helps as providing financial support, giving advices, gathering information and even making decisions for them. Hence, here comes to the controversial debate whether there is a phenomenon that most people would like others to make decisions for them. A group of people disagree with it and argue that a majority of people have the ability to make decisions by themselves and never is it possible that a person prefers others to control their life. In my perspective, however, most people incline to let others make decisions for them and in some cases it is not only reasonable but also essentially necessary to make decisions by others.

To begin with, some people are afraid of taking responsibilities to some extent. It has two aspects. On one hand, when people make decisions, they worry about the side consequences resulting from false choices. This phenomenon is manifest when people handle huge problems which could have a great impact to one's life or to the society. Nevertheless, if other people would offer help to make decisions for them, the situation could get much better, because it gives people a sense that they are guided by others or at least what they have done is acceptable by other people. In this case, seemly their responsibilities are shared by others and consequently they suffer from less pressure. Even when the results of decisions turn to failure, they will have more excuses and receive fewer blames. On the other hand, besides lack of confidence, rare experience of solving problems is another factor. This factor plays an important role to children among which they are hardly likely to make decisions by themselves. I will illustrate this view with the example of myself. Since there is only one child in a family, like other families my parents extremely focus on me and it causes the fact that rarely have I an opportunity to make decisions based on my own judgment. Therefore, when I study in university and face the problem whether I should change my major, I trap in a dilemma. Since I have make achievement in my original major, I am afraid that I would fail to gain good grades in a new major. Instead making decision by myself, I ask my parents for help and let them make decision for me. As a matter of fact, it is a kind of escaping from responsibility. Since such situation is common, I am convinced that people prefer to other making decisions for them because of lack of both confidence and experience.

Furthermore, in some circumstance, it is not only important but also beneficial to let others help them to make decisions instead of themselves. There is no doubt about the fact that most of people are fond of referring to others’ advices when trapped in trouble. And in most cases, more advices mean more possible solutions to problems, thus when people ask others for help, it is quite possible that their friends or relatives have the same experience. Apparently people are more likely to follow others' example if their friends or relatives successfully solved the problem. It is common in the field of justice that a judge makes a trial using reference of former cases, so why not people make decision referring to others' example. In this manner, friends or relatives would provide details of their former solutions. As a result, actually it's more reasonable that their friends or relatives make decision not themselves. Based on the analysis above, hardly could anyone deny the fact that most people are in favor of others making decision for them.

In sum, the phenomenon that people prefer others making decision for them is not only reasonable but also acceptable. On one hand, people are afraid of taking responsibilities to some extent; on the other hand, it is effective for people to follow examples of others.

faye宝UID: 2707915

Do you agree or disagree: Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.& C' J* W( y* X% c' V; B

When facing difficulties, many people usually prefer to ask their friends and relatives for help. Their friends and relatives（they） would offer such helps as providing financial support, giving advices, gathering information and even making decisions for them. Hence, here comes to the controversial debate whether there is a phenomenon that most people would like others to make decisions for them. A group of people disagree with it and argue that a majority of people have the ability to make decisions by themselves and never is it possible that a person prefers others to control their life.（and好多） In my perspective, however, most people incline to let others make decisions for them and in some cases it is not only reasonable but also essentially necessary to make decisions by others.（很好的首段。学习~~~~）
To begin with, some people are afraid of taking responsibilities to some extent. It has two aspects. On one hand, when people make decisions, they worry about the side consequences resulting from false choices. This phenomenon is manifest when people handle huge problems which could have a great impact to one's life or to the society. Nevertheless, if other people would offer help to make decisions for them, the situation could get much better, because it gives people a sense that they are guided by others or at least what they have done is acceptable by other people. In this case, seemly their responsibilities are shared by others and consequently they suffer from less pressure. Even when the results of decisions turn to failure, they will have more excuses and receive fewer blames. On the other hand, besides lack of confidence, rare experience of solving problems is another factor. This factor plays an important role to children among which they are hardly likely to make decisions by themselves. I will illustrate this view with the example of myself. Since there is only one child in a family, like other families my parents extremely focus on me and it causes the fact that rarely have I an opportunity to make decisions based on my own judgment. Therefore, when I study in university and face the problem whether I should change my major, I （was）trapped in a dilemma. Since I have make achievement in my original major, I am afraid that I would fail to gain good grades in a new major. Instead (of) making decision by myself, I ask my parents for help and let them make decision for me. 我怎么觉得这该用过去式呢？As a matter of fact, it is a kind of escaping from responsibility. Since such situation is common, I am convinced that people prefer to other making decisions for them because of lack of both confidence and experience.# B3 A) Q: c& h) k, W! E& y! R
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Furthermore, in some circumstance, it is not only important but also beneficial to let others help them to make decisions instead of themselves. There is no doubt about the fact that most of people are fond of referring to others’ advices when trapped in trouble. And in most cases, more advices mean more possible solutions to problems, thus when people ask others for help, it is quite possible that their friends or relatives have the same experience. Apparently people are more likely to follow others' example if their friends or relatives successfully solved the problem. It is common in the field of justice that a judge makes a trial using reference of former cases, so why not people make decision referring to others' example. In this manner, friends or relatives would provide details of their former solutions. As a result, actually it's more reasonable that their friends or relatives make decision not themselves. Based on the analysis above, hardly could anyone deny the fact that most people are in favor of others making decision for them.

w5 w  _# d" S, V
In sum, the phenomenon that people prefer others making decision for them is not only reasonable but also acceptable. On one hand, people are afraid of taking responsibilities to some extent; on the other hand, it is effective for people to follow examples of others
（很好的作文啊~~~学习学习~~~看完你的我自卑了>_<）

chailybaiUID: 2741896

4.6批改~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

It's better to watch serious movies to get deeper think or watch movies that amuse or entertain you

Watching movies could provide knowledge and let people have deep consideration even if as one of entertainments. Especially serious movies, people always learn something from it instead of from funny movies. The first one has meaningful ideas and the latter one can help people relax by amusement. Therefore, I agree with the viewpoint that people get deeper thoughts by watching serious movies.

Firstly, the majority of serious movies reflect human nature and reality that they have to consider with hearts. Stories in serious movies are sometimes like a mirror, in which people could find themselves. Let us take Rainman as an example. Probably most people are familiar with that movie, the one expresses love and responsibility. At very beginning, younger brother had planed to kill his mental disabled brother in order to get all the money from ascendant but everything changed after a series of experiences. It is definitely a serious movie in my mind because it reminded me of a similar story from my old friend. At that time her grandparents just passed away and assigned their apartment to my friend. Other her relatives, however, did not accept this will, which caused a severe situation between family members in court. Rainman brings people to consider what is essential in lives particularly when confront benefit. Humans always can see themselves by watching serious movies as avarice leads people to be confused in their money oriented life. Some of them may realize what they need and what is the most significant just as the two brothers in Rainman; meanwhile, there are still many people lost their relationship and kinship in the battle to win advantages such as stocks and real states. Serious movies produce far-reaching meaning and let people have deep thinking.

Watching funny movies as a proper entertainment assists people to release themselves instead of getting deeper thoughts. People could forget their frustration and sadness by watching funny movies, which cannot instruct or make people consider about reality like watching serious movies. For instance, the movie Shriek impressed me by its funny figures and attractive background. Nothing could make me have consideration from that movie because the story brought me into childhood like a fairy tale. Every one knows that childhood is the happiest time in people’ life and children in general do not need to have any deep thoughts.

In sum, serious movies could cause people to have consideration deeply about reality or life. And funny ones in great numbers help people relax. Therefore, if one prefers to have deeper think, watching serious movies should be encouraged.

ly8768UID: 2452066

Do you agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide

There are many advantages for people to have a travel. people can learn various culture and geology information in a tour; travelling with friends and relatives, we can improve the relationship with them; Still it is a effective method to release pressure resulting from long term work and study by taking a travel. Thus, massive people are fond of travel as entertainment activity in the vacation. Nonetheless, it becomes a controversial issue whether it is best to travel in a group led by a tour guide or plan a journey individually. A group of denizens who are in favor of travel have a passive opinion on the form of group travel directed by a guide, for they argue that they are not as free as to travel by themselves. In my perspective, however, I am supportive of the idea that tourists can enjoy more benefits to travel in a group with a guide. And my specific reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is both efficient and economic to travel in a group. I will illustrate this view from two aspects. On one hand, a visiting group led by a tour guide is usually organized by tour companies. Since there companies have made visiting plans for a long time, they have a great deal of experience and are professional to make visiting schedule. As a result, tourists can make full use of their time to visit what they dreamed of. In addition, tour companies have collaboration with travel sites and transportation business, thus never would the visitors be required to wait long time to buy a ticket or worry about the problem of traffic. In this manner, obviously people can save a lot of time if they can travel in a group. On the other hand, when it comes to the cost of travel, it is the same. As stated above, because of the cooperation between tour companies with travel sites, a ticket is less expensive; and collaborated with hotel, tour companies can offer a lower price for customers; in addition, possibly travelers can benefits from discount of traffic fees. Therefore, all the examples listed above indicate that travelling in a group can help people save both time and money. Based on the analysis, I am convinced by the merits of travelling in a group.

Furthermore, led by a guide, tourists can have a better understanding to the travel sites. There is no doubt about the fact that tour guides have plentiful information concerning the tour sites. People can learn a variety of background information on places of interests and architectures. This background information includes history, anecdotes legends, mysteries stories and so forth, which not only provide visitors with specific description of places, but make the travel more interesting. This reminds me of my own experience. Once I had a travel in Chicago by myself, there are many interesting buildings in the city of Chicago. Unfortunately, I have no idea about the usage or history of these architectures so I forget these places of interests quickly. Nevertheless, if there is a tour guide who can introduce these architectures to me, I can better enjoy the travel. Therefore, I highly recommend traveling in a group especially with a tour guide.

In sum, because of the high efficiency, low cost, and more opportunity to know background information provided by group travel with a tour guide, I agree with the conclusion that the best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide

forrestlutUID: 2774291

Do you agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide) ^  Z& ]. i6 G3 Y! ^3 m

红色是建议和修改，()里是你的原文

' R' ]' O* `% v0 i3 [Thereare many advantages  of traveling: (for people to have a travel.) people can learnvarious culture and geology 如果要用的话用 knowledge (information) form (in) a tour; (travelling)traveling withfriends and relatives, 注意这里的主语和汉语里不同，应该是traveling enhances ...建议换成简单句重写这句
we can 可以用enhance(improve) the relationship with them; Stillit is a effective method to (release) reduce 或者直接用release这个词，但要换种说法 pressures 用of (resulting from) long termwork and study( 去掉 by taking a travel 前面的 it 就是 Traveling ).这个并列句用词要多推敲下这里只根据你原文改 Thus, massive people are fond oftravel as entertainment activity in the vacation 这句很严重，重新写一下吧. Nonetheless, itbecomes a controversial issue whether it is best to travel in a groupled by a tour guide or plan a journey individually. A group of denizenswho are in favor of travel have a passive opinion on the form of grouptravel directed by a guide, for they argue that they are not as free asto travel by themselves.请推敲用词 In my perspective, however
, I am supportive ofthe idea that tourists can enjoy more benefits to travel in a groupwith a guide. And my specific reasons are as follows.

这段的感觉是，实际上你可以从itbecomes a controversial issue开始你的文章，或者重新组织一下，用词方面要多多推敲，很多词替换以后含义可能就不同了。

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To beginwith, it is both efficient and economical 才是省钱经济的意思，economic是和经济相关的意思，建议看英文示意的词典  to travel in a group. I willillustrate this view from two aspects. On one hand, a visiting groupled by a tour guide is usually organized by tour companies. Since therecompanies have made visiting plans for a long time, they have a greatdeal of experience and are professional 用on或in (to) make visiting schedule. As aresult, tourists can make full use of their time to visit 明确一下要visit什么东东 what theydreamed of用这个有点夸张. In addition, tour companies have collaboration with travelsites and transportation business, thus never would the visitors berequired to wait long time to buy a ticket or worry about the problemof traffic.好好重写这句，不多说了 In this manner, obviously people can save a lot of time ifthey can travel in a group. On the other hand, On..和When..效果一样，舍掉一个吧when it comes to thecost of travel, it is the same删. As stated above, because of thecooperation between tour companies with travel sites, a ticket is lessexpensive; and collaborated with hotel, tour companies can offer alower price for customers; in addition, possibly travelers can benefitsfrom discount of traffic fees. Therefore, all the examples listed aboveindicate that travelling in a group can help people save both time andmoney.中文说法 Based on the (analysis)这是很academic的词，建议用discussion, I am convinced by the merits oftravelling in a group重写. 后面这几句语句不流畅，不要陷入单词替换的误区，建议重组织这段
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1 Y1 F1 {' R. Q( i1 E# fFurthermore,led by a guide主语呢？这是中文说法, tourists can have a better understanding (to the) of travelsites. There is no doubt about the fact that tour guides have plentifulinformation concerning the tour sites建议重写. People can learn 这里用词要推敲一下a variety ofbackground information on places of interests and architectures. Thisbackground information (includes) ,including history, anecdotes legends, mysteriesstories and so?? forth, which not only provide visitors 应该是一种关于XX知识或者感觉，必须换个说法  with specificdescription of places, but make the travel more interesting. Thisreminds me of my own experience. Once I had a travel in Chicago bymyself, there are many interesting buildings in the city of Chicago.Unfortunately, I have no idea about the usage or history of thesearchitectures so I forget these places of interests quickly.Nevertheless, if there is a tour guide who can introduce thesearchitectures to me, I can better enjoy the travel. Therefore, I highlyrecommend traveling in a group especially with a tour guide.
这些论证和用词要推敲

5 F, t1 R5 V* p6 e) H* a+ NInsum, because of the high efficiency, low cost, 这个后后面不搭配 and more opportunity toknow background information provided by group travel with a tour guide,I agree with the conclusion你正在给结论，所以不能用conclusion，这里用statement that the best way to travel is in a groupled by a tour guide

总结一下，为LZ好豁出去我直说了哈～～～:)
(1) 论证逻辑要加强
(2) 语言有汉语的影响，要多多训练，避免汉语思维
(3) 句式，单词用法要多推敲，多看看其他人的例文，自己总结
(4) 不要陷入单词替换的误区，不是任何词都可以换的，虽然有些差别很细微

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27# 我是chineselady