Issue130 高频 求改

carmelozhanghwUID: 2787879

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 576          TIME: 00:48:30          DATE: 2010-4-14 15:50:35

    I do not agree with the speaker's assertion that children's socialization determines the destiny of the society, however, I think the speaker's view that we do not know how to raise childen to help bring a better society is right.My points of
contention with the speaker involve the foundamental objectives and nature of reseasrch, as discussed below.
    I concede socialization is important to children to bring us a better society, but the speaker overstate other factors that really determine the destiny of the society.The parental guide, the ability to learn and the  social environment  
to some extent determine the future of the society which is powerful or weak. The parental guide is the earliest  education to a child which is the most crucial. The parents teach  the children how to identify  well and evil, how to be a strong mind and confident men, and how to deal with the incident will be happened in the future.As a Chinese proverb"Tigers' child will not be a dog forever" That mean  children are most similar to their parents in most aspects.  Despite parental guides, children's ability to learn is also crucial to the society.It determines  whether the society will do well in the field of science and technology , finance, medicine or other releams  that determine the economic of a nation in the future. The educators should strongly emphasis the children's learning of science. Let's look at the world, the most powerful societies do also best in educating children in the field of science and technilogy.Such as United stated, they have the most gifted reserches and teachers in all realms of the science,when comes to the university of the USA, MIT , Standford, Chicago University are the famoustest college in the world. Other powerful societies Japan , United Kindon, China and France are  very similar. The social envirinment is also we should pay attention to.Only live in  a friendly and stable environment, the children can be raised healthly. Look at the childre in Iraq or
Afghanistan, their children are facing death and war everyday and their societies
can not afford their education. Living in such society, these children have few chance to be a scientist or doctor to serve  their societies.
     Neverthess, when we have done our best to raise our children, have we surelly build a better society? In my oppinion, it is not.First, we should know how to define "better society". Compared to 50 years ago, If we characterized by the amazing science and technology, we can say we have raised a generation of clever and cretivity children.If we characterized by peaceful world, we can say we have raised a generation of wit children. If we characterized by democratic world,we can say we have raised a generation of
friendly children.However, is the society really perfect? It is certainly no. Our society is still full of violation, terrorist attack, drugs, racial discrimination even enmity beteen two nations.and it is still as disappointing as 50 years ago. In recent 50 years, though the material has got progress, but in out mind, it has not changed.
   In  sum, the speaker's assertion that the children's socialized determines the future of the society and we have not raisedn our childre to bring a better society.I agree with that the society is not 'better"  due to many other factors such as war violation and delinquent education from the parents, but I don not agree eith the speaker that how children are socialized determines the destiny of the society, many other factors are more crucial.

xiao.xinUID: 2682051

我大致看了一下，我觉得不定式短语 TO 用的 太多 而且 有 问题 important  to children 介词 是 for不是 to

laomaoipmUID: 2564982

首先 LZ先看一下这个视频吧  蛮有启发的 希望对你有帮助
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTEzNjA1NDk2.html