【1010G精英组】ISSUE&ARGU 习作 by Group A

fufan6711UID: 2788330

【1010G精英组】ISSUE&ARGU 习作 by Group A

xiaohaixxxUID: 2317561

53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decereased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By making a study of 25 infants, who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, may more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, meanwhile when these infants grow up more than half of them have shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life seems logical.
However, the arguer is weak to illustrate 25 infants is an enough amount of swatch to make the study convinced. Meanwhile it is an instinct of human, even an infant, to show distress when they come up with a unusual stimuli. So the distress these infants showed when they exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice is human’s normal response for outer stimuli, and the arguer’s conclusion that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn is not reasonable.
Even if there had some relationship between the infant’s response of unusual stimuli and conceived in early autumn, the arguer also didn’t provide enough evidence to proof the increase of mothers' production of melatonin will cause infants’ distress. The infants’ distress may caused by other factors, such as their own production of melatonin, since they were conceived in early autumn then they would be born in spring, when the daylight is increasing, the infants’ body will naturally decrease the melatonin and the decrease of melatonin in the new born infants’ body may the key reason cause the distress, or there has other hormone in mothers’ body can affect infants’ distress but not the melatonin.
What’s more the arguer also point out that when these infants grow up, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, however, the rate of the person feel shy in these teenagers in not very high, perhaps the “more than half” just the average rate of feel shy teenagers, so there also haven’t enough proof to support the relation between the melatonin and infants’ distress.
Overall, the reasoning behind the relationship between infants’ distress and their mother’s melatonin increase seems logical as presented above. However there has much more conditions and factors can affect infants’ behavior. In order to get a logical conclusion, all conditions we should take into account.

fufan6711UID: 2788330

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decereased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

In this argument，the arguer concludes that increased levels of Melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. To support the conclusion, the arguer provides a thirteen years old study of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, demonstrating the group of infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions -would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In the mean time , the following-up study conducted in this year indicate that half of these children-now teenagers –who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Nevertheless, this argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

The whole argument rests on the unreasonable assumption that the Melatonin can cause shyness of the infants. But, is it really the case? The arguer doesn’t provide any scientific research about the Melatonin, failing to reveal the function or the use of the of the Melatonin. What’s more, the arguer even fails to prove whether the Melatonin genuine have something to do with the infants. Even though the arguer said the Metonin is a kind of hormone that has something to do with certain function of the brain , but it didn’t tell us whether this influence is for the mothers or the infants.

The evidence provided in this argument is not sufficient to validate the conclusion for the following reasons. To begin with , the study conducted thirteen years ago revealed that the infants showed signs of distress when exposed to umfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. We can’t rule out the possibility that the distress was caused by the instinct conditioning instead of the shyness, cause the infants are very sensitive to the outside stimuli. In addition ,in the following-up study ,the arguer ignores many other relevant factors that might have something to do with the character of the children, given there is no information about the environment during the past years. Take the environment and the experience for example , these two factors can make huge contribution to character formation.

The conclusion lacks credibility ,because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. In order to make the argument more cogent , the arguer need to provide us with relevant scientific research information to illustrate what kind of effect does the Metonin has on infants ,and whether the influence is permanant .

annkeUID: 2605122

The memo mainly argues that melatonin produced by mother will clearly make infants shy and shyness will continue into later life. However, evidence given do not constitute a logical argument in favor of this conclusion, and fail to provide convincing support making this argument sound and invulnerable.
First of all ,the author fail to analyze why increased levels of melatonin can necessarily cause infants shy. As the evidence provided, only 25 infants were examined in the research thirteen years ago, which could not guarantee the efficiency of research. While, infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice, did not necessarily suggest they were shy.
Even assuming signs of mild distress equals shyness and melatonin can cause infants shy, the process of effectiveness is not presented as above. It is the melatonin affecting some functions of mothers’ brains that may pass to infants. Actually, this effect is caused by outside environment, which probably cannot last long enough into teenage period . As we all know, genes, blood types, etc are greatly impact the character of infants. However, the author provide no information about these. Without ruling out these possibilities of inside effects, the author cannot establish the cause-effect relationship.
Thirdly, the author commits a fallacy of “After of this, Therefore, Because of this.” The author believes that the shyness of teenagers are outcome of the shyness when they were infants. However, it is entirely possible that other factors result in the shyness of teenagers, such as new changes of their bodies or minds take in. For example, according to a survey, boys in voice-changing period are two times likely to refuse to talk with girls. Thus, the shyness of these 25 teenagers is not necessarily caused by the shyness when they were infants.


logic chain:
mother produced melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions--> infants showed distressed--> when the infants become teenagers, they showed shy. Thus, melatonin cause shyness and shyness continues.

snowflakechoUID: 2783303

53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

逻辑链：

因为：25个婴儿表现出轻微紧张且可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋时日照减少，melatonin增加
所以：melatonin增加导致婴儿羞涩

因为：跟踪调查表明那些儿童长大后仍认为自己害羞
所以：melatonin增加导致的羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

攻击点：
1.“更可能在早秋怀孕”是未确证的事件（因果关系建立在推断的事件上，不成立；主要攻击点）
2.表现出轻微紧张不代表羞涩（偷换概念；次要攻击点）
3.25名婴儿，样本太小，样本选择程度不详（附带）

Basing on a survey conducted 13 years ago as well as its following－up survey performed much recently, the author concludes that a increasing level of melatonin before birth can clearly leads to shyness in people’s infancy which even last for a long time. The authur’s primary evidence is that 25 infants who are more likely to have been conceived during early autumn, showed mild tension during the survey, while melatonin secreted by their mother during that period would increase as the daylight decreases. The author also indicates that now half of those 25 teenagers indentified themselves as shy.
However, form a logical prospective, the statement suffers from several logical flaws.

First, a threshold problem involves the definition of shyness. The author regarded the signs of being a little nervous as shyness, while fails to define the critical term of shyness. Mild tension of babies may be natural and normal reaction towards unfamiliar stimuli. Without a clear definition, it’s hard to access or judge that whether the 25 infants are shy or not.

Second, as for the detail conceive time, the scientists only found the infants are more likely to have been conceived in early autumn, which indicates it’s only possibility but not confirmed information. The argument is totally unacceptable in logical aspect as the causal relationship between melatonin and shyness in infancy is constructed based on this kind of possibility, but not confirmed facts. Similarly, it’s impossible to link the shyness in adolescent to the maternal level of melatonin without confirming the detail conceived time.

Besides, even though all the above problems would be overcome or tolerated, the sample size of only 25 infants is too small to support such a conclusion, meanwhile, lack of the living background or other associated situation of those infants are extremely unacceptable.

To sum up, the arguer fails to substantiate the claim that melatonin is involved in the shyness of infants and adolescent in that the evidence cited in the analysis doesn’t lend strong support to the argument. The arguer would have to provide an accurate definition of shyness, or verify the concrete conceived time, or amplify the survey to a larger scale, to make the demonstrating procedure more convincing, and make the argument more thorough and logically acceptable.

自己先说一下自己感觉到的问题：
1.速度慢，差不多是一小时一刻钟的成果，377个词。
2.用词重复比较多，想不到好的代替用词。
3.不知道怎么扩展地说一个逻辑错误，达到考虑全面，内容翔实的程度。

关于改作文：谁告诉我该怎么找茬？我只知道怎么从他人的文章中学习可取的地方。


5# annke

lvruochenUID: 2792806

53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

用了160分钟
既然交晚了
我就把逻辑图做的漂亮一些
失败了，凑合着看吧，提一些意见


研究表明25秋季怀孕婴儿shy    \
                                           ------>婴儿shy\
秋天某影响脑功能激素下降       /                        \
                                                                    ----->激素影响shy从小到大
                                                                  /
                                     其中一半长大了也shy/


1.其他季节怀孕也经过了这样的一个过程
2.秋季怀孕，可能与胎儿生长时外界环境较冷有关
3.teenager自认为shy，另青少年本身就可能shy，况且还有一半不shy了，不能说明问题




By presenting us with a  long-term experiment， the argument shows a study on the relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and shyness showed continually afterwards from childhood to adolescent. If we cast a look back at the experiment, it is rather groundless to reach that conclusion firmly. Trustworthy as it seems, the argument has 3 major problems leading to a a considerable confusion of the result about the experiment.

First of all, the result mentioned from the experiment is not the only key to the phenomenon. While the previous part of the experiment showed that among 25 babies, which was not a extensive investigation as well, who were much more sensitive to outer world, most of whom had been conceived in autumn when their mothers produced more melatonin in their bodies as a consequence of decreasing daylight which is obvious in autumn. However, many elements can result in the phenomenon. The temperature plummets as the very same time, which may probably counts more for the timid signs manifesting the unwillingness to communicate with external world. Moreover, the way that pregnant women exercise less in winter than in other seasons may be blamed for the insecure behaviors of babies afterwards. The experiment still has way to go.

Even if the melatonin is the exclusive cause, it is what melatonin acts in different phase of pregnancy rather than the increased levels of melatonin that makes sense. Pregnancy is a long-term activity taking 9 months approximately. Hence, children conceived in spring or summer may also get through the stage of increased levels of melatonin in autumn. But the result did not show how those children born in summer or spring were affected by the phenomenon. It’s more accordingly to infer that the increased level of melatonin only has a significant effect on an embryo of some particular periods. Moreover, the decreased levels of melatonin in spring, as a result of the increasing daylight, may still have great effect on babies conceived in autumn, from which the contrary of the result may be made. That poses a genuine dilemma for the researchers as well.

Then when our attention is turned to the later experiment showing that the impression continues into later life, it is easy to identify the flaws in the experiment. Without given the percentage of the children out of the experiment who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy, we cannot offer a firm guarantee for the result. Deficiency in social experience, a great many of children may shows periodic shyness in their childhood. Only provided with the fact that half of the children, who have taken part in the earlier experiment, showed the tendency of distress, it is not wise to bing the experiment to an end, unless compared with that of children outside the experiment. Much remains to be done to make the result cogent.

After all, lacking adequate evidence to support the assumption, we cannot confidently conclude the arbitrary argument identifying the certain relevance between the increased levels of melatonin and the shyness conducted by those children. Further research is in great need to draw a rather more substantial deduction.

lvruochenUID: 2792806

6# snowflakecho
占楼

annkeUID: 2605122

咱们这里什么时候该文章啊？下一步是什么呢？等晚上开会是吗？希望好心的哥哥姐姐pp一下~