4.21开启作文本

lycheeeUID: 2447890

14# missyoucrazy
Should the children make their own choices, as many parents suggests? In a sense, the children have their right to choose their life【lives】. However, in my perspective, the children are not supposed to make their own decisions, for the reason that the children are lacking of enough experience and knowledge to make choices, and their parents should make the decisions for them, which will foster the development of the children.【这最后一句太长了……】. k; c6 e* |7 L
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First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that the children have so many choices to make. For example, in our childhood, we need to face the problems of what kind of clothes are[is] suitable, which school should I[we] go, etc. Of course we can decide what we should do. However, the decision we made by ourselves can cause many issues[cause issues感觉上这个用法比较少 google只搜到两个]. It can be illustrated by my own experience when I was young. After graduate from the primary school, I have to make a choice between two middle schools. The first one had the best education【educational】 circumstance in our city. The second one had many good friends of mine studying there. Regardless of my parents’ opinion of studying in the best school, I insisted on getting into the school where there are many friends. At last, I successfully got into the school I like but I didn't not[did not] have good performance[直接用perform比较顺，我觉得……] there. Finally, I was transmitted to the best school and I studied well there. Also, I had a significant number of new friends there. This example of mine shows that the choices that the children make are often wrong.[由一个例子推出often未免武断了一点点……]
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On the contrary, the choices that the parents make for their children are often sound. First, their parents have a better understanding of the society. They know what it right thing to do[they know what to do is right会不会比较顺？]. For instance, when a child has to select the[a] university to attend, he/she often has no idea [+about ]which one[one可以去掉] to choose. But his/her parents know which one is much better for the child-because the parents have some knowledge of choosing colleges. Second, the parents know the need of their children. They care the most interest of their children, so they can make the right choice for the children.

In a nutshell, in respect of the rightness of the choice the parents make and the future of the children, it is more justifiable for the parents to make choices for their children.








楼主还是有点笔误呐 有几个句子感觉不是很通顺，可以参考下一些写句式的句子改良一下子喔~
我也正在学写句子呢 如有改错多多包涵……

missyoucrazyUID: 2745188

5.14
Is the job with high salary and less vacation time better than that with more vacation time, just as many people who spare all the time in their work suggest? After all, people intend to work hard to earn as much money as they can to live a better life. However, as far as I am concerned, spending almost all the time to earn money doesn't guarantee that one can have a better life, and having the job with more leisure time, to the contrary, will enable one person to be more competent in their career and to enjoy the happiness of life.
First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that everyone wants to have a better living condition. Hence, regardless of its work time many people insist on looking for the jobs of high salary. From their perspective, money means everything that could bring them status and fame. As a result, they tend to use the money to buy house and luxuries, such as cars, jewelry, famous watch and so forth. However, do those people really have a happier life than other people? And obviously the answer is no. Although they can earn a large amount of money, at the meantime they have lost the most precious things of their life, such as health, happiness and a sense of family. For example, a close friend of mine, who is a worker of a foreign company, got sick and stayed in hospital for nearly a year, for the reason that he used to work to hard in order to buy a car. Now he not only loses his car, but also loses his health.
On the contrary, it is the job with more spare time that will give you success and happiness in virtue of two following respects. First, adequate rest will make one be more passionate in their jobs. It is known that a person who is enthusiastic with their work will be more likely to succeed. On the contrary, working all day will take the edge of one person's craving to do a good job. Second, one person will have more time to spend with the family. For example, if one has more holidays, one can stay with his/her family or take the family to visit the places of interests, enjoying the time with the family, which will relieve one from the pressure of work and enhance the relationship in the family.
In a nutshell, based on the above analysis, it is more justifiable for people to seek the job with more vacation time.

shufescUID: 2616499

5.14 Is the job with high salary and less vacation time better than that with more vacation time, just as many people who spare all the time in their work suggest? After all, people intend to work hard to earn as much money as they can to live a better life. However, as far as I am concerned, spending almost all the time to earn money doesn't guarantee that one can have a better life, and having the job with more leisure time, to the contrary, will enable one person to be more competent in their career and to enjoy the happiness of life.

First and foremost, there is no denying the fact that everyone wants to have a better living condition. Hence, regardless of its work time many people insist on looking for the jobs of high salary. From their perspective, money means everything that could bring them status and fame. As a result, they tend to use the money to buy house and luxuries, such as cars, jewelry, famous watch and so forth. However, do those people really have a happier life than other people? And obviously the answer is no. Although they can earn a large amount of money, at the meantime they have lost the most precious things of their life, such as health, happiness and a sense of family. For example, a close friend of mine, who is a worker of a foreign company, got sick and stayed in hospital for nearly a year, for the reason that he used to work too hard in order to buy a car. Now he not only loses his car, but also loses his health.

On the contrary, it is the job with more spare time that will give you success and happiness in（by） virtue of two following respects. First, adequate rest will make one be more passionate in their jobs. It is known that a person who is enthusiastic with their work will be more likely to succeed. On the contrary, working all day will take the edge of (off) one person's craving to do a good job. Second, one person will have more time to spend with the family. For example, if one has more holidays, one can stay with his/her family or take the family to visit the places of interests, enjoying the time with the family, which will relieve one from the pressure of work and enhance the relationship in the family.

In a nutshell, based on the above analysis(analysis above), it is more justifiable for people to seek the job with more vacation time.

文章写得不错，基本没有语法错误。但是语言略显平淡。