【1010G精英组】ISSUE50 B组回收站

weaselUID: 2739489

上交时间为4月27日13点前

weaselUID: 2739489

At mere mention of the issue that if allfaculty should work outside the academic world in professions relevant to thecourses they teach in order to promote their quality of instruction, variousvoices emerge. In view of these issues’ complexity, I make defined analysisabout it and then get a conclusion: admittedly, there are lots of meritsexisting when faculty work outside; however, considering the correspondingfeasibility and flaws, there is no must to do that for all faculty. After theanalysis, I ask myself that what we should do on earth.

To begin with, nothing can deny the factthat to some extent, working outside the school gates while they are free fromclass instruction, is a good opportunity to get promoted in college anduniversity teaching, due to the following two main reasons. Firstly, lots ofpresent faculty attend the educational groups as a teacher directly after theygraduate from their college and university, which is cited from China'seducational system's common situation. Thus, absolutely, they lack chances toconvert their theoretical knowledge to practice applying. As a result, notuntil they equip with more defined and sophisticated professional understandingabout what they have ever learned and gained newly, can they impart these totheir students better. Secondly, as a common sense, the most cutting-edgeinformation usually comes outside the school gates, therefore working outsidethe academic world offers the faculty more opportunities to reach theseknowledge that goes with high speed pace. On the other hand, for students inclass, a chic teacher, instead of a conservative, brings more joy so as toimprove students’ motivations in class performance. Furthermore, moreinformation about what industry they are going to step into in the future,could remind them of beginning or revising their working layout.


However, no matter how reasonable the viewabove is, it does not mean that all faculty should spend time on outsideworking when considering the feasibility and negative effects. On the one hand,many faculty whose academic realms are nearly pure theoretical, have nonecessary to waste time on meaningless practice. Pure mathematics, quantumphysics, philosophy and some else subjects that are similar to them, onlyrequire more learners to invest their energy and time to theoretical studying.On the other hand, exorbitantly focusing on enormous profits from outside jobswill lead some faculty to ignore or even give up college and universityinstructing and then lost their nature as a teacher. Even if some part of themcan also have the original dream which is to cultivate next generation forsociety's future, there must be a circumstance that they are listless in classand thus transform negative effects to students. To sum up, not every facultyis required to work outside the academic world, and in some cases, they arealso at a risk to lose their essence of being a promising instructor.

What should we do when facing such achoice, working outside or not? In my point of view, the optimal approach forus is to take more considering. Without working outside, the faculty may lose thechanges to improve their academic and teaching skills. However, they also needto think it over if they must work outside to attain their achievements.Besides, even though they have necessary to work outside, do they have enoughenergy and time to seek a balance which can result in a win-win situation? Wecan image blue print that we hold the right broken sword and the left poorshield, but can not kill any enemy. So, what is going to happen next?

From the statement above, there is nodenying that some faculty can benefit from the outside working. However, noreasons can support the point that all faculty is required to seek a joboutside which is relevant to the courses they teach, with the impossibility andharmful consequences. Therefore, the smartest choice can only be decided afterfaculty’s serious considering.

字又连上了，word版如下

ROse_MaryUID: 2790464

Based on my own observation and experience over the true life, I think it will definitely help improve the quality of instructions at the colleges and universities that some of the faculty spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the course they teach, but not all.

To begin with, the advancement of knowledge, especially in academic fields, is more often than not with the demand of the progress of the society. “Practice makes perfect.” People always found the flaws in the academic theory by the practical working in society, surely including the faculty at the institutions of higher education. While working outside the academic world, the teachers have lots of chances to practice their professional knowledge, and complete the instruction system better. Moreover, the more the shift of the faculty, the more the communications will be offered. The teachers from diverse institutions gather together, and they can exchange their different opinions through working. At last, under this circumstance, more intern chances and jobs will be offered to the students through the relationship with the teachers who connect with outside closely. As a result of all above, by working outside the academic world, the faculty will improve their teaching effectiveness.

Nonetheless, as we see that the faculty is necessary to be required to work outside the academic work to learn more, which they can use in their teaching work to improve their instructions, but is it necessary that all the faculty should be required to work outside the academic work? Of course, the answer is no. Colleges and universities are supposed to keep an atmosphere of academy where people are willing to dedicate themselves to the study and research. On the contrary, if all the faculty go to the working places in the course of teaching, it is likely that the great and noble campus are full of “a green whiff of gold”. As a result of that, the students will probably tend to focus too much on the working offers and how to make money in the future, not to settle down to learn knowledge and have researches to bring the contribution to the whole human race. In addition, some of the faculty may be unwilling to have another occupation because of some reasons, such as health problems, individualities etc. Thus, the schools cannot require all faculty to work outside, but, in another way, encourage the capable teachers to walk out of the gate of the campus.

In summary, a balance point should be found between the theory and the practice of the academy for both the teachers and the students at the institutions of higher education. Only by the teachers’ due practical working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the course they teach will the instructions become more effective and suitable for the students.

我有个问题，我发现我对着电脑写总是挤不出来，用笔写的时候就很自然的写出来。。。囧。。怎么解决啊~

weaselUID: 2739489

3# ROse_Mary
打字速度跟不上？ 还是想一句写一句，因为打字老有错误，导致了思维老是被打断，如果是这样，我认为，先准备好思路，行文的结构，可能会好点

ROse_MaryUID: 2790464

改weasel的，用的是word的审阅功能，直接附件了哈~

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

In thisissue, the speaker provides a recommendation –requiring all faculty to spendtime working relevant to their courses–in accelerating the quality of instructionat the college and university level. Though this recommendation counts formuch, I have to balance that with my concern that there is a tendency todiscount the disadvantage of this proposal and other available methods toimprove the quality of instruction as important considerations in this issue.


‘Learning in practice’ has become a sloganwhen talking about education reforms in order to improve not only the qualityof instructions from teachers but also inner understanding to speculative knowledge of students. While therecommendation from this issue suggesting faculty instead of students shouldwork outside in relevant to their courses really counts for a lot. Theinstruction from teachers after work outside not only save the limited time andenergy of students, but also provokes students’ interest in study. It is moreclarify to students to clinch their learning goals with teachers’ instructionof practical experiences and, as a result, students may become more motivated intheir study. This kind of instruction also makes a diffidence in considerationof the fitness of their major. Simply teaching with theories is boring and abstruse. Students could get informed by theirteachers, who enjoy a high authority in students’ mind and is the main informationsource of their major in college and university about their direction andprospect of future, and get prepared for the future. It is timelier
and more welcome to the information frompractice than from ‘dead’ text books.

To make ageneral statement about the recommend, I have to turn to the opposed side. First,some work refers to some special and particular operation to some apparatus whileone of the main aims of college teaching is to give a general knowledgebackground of the majors, which means there is not enough time for the detailedinstruction of the operation of each apparatus. Second, if teachers implant toomuch about the particular operating procedure to their students, it would beskeptical of students to the practicality of what they have learned and thecomprehensive background knowledge they have spent so much time and energy on. Third,not all the subjects in college could be put into practice, such as philosophy,politics, physics, jurimetricsand legal history. These are rationalism subjects.Undoubtedly, the recommendation above is meaningless. In addition, workingoutside may distract one’s attention from teaching which shouldbe their vocation. As a result, it may turn out to be just opposite of what wewant.

As educationreform has appeared from ancient times with its aims atpromoting the quality of teaching, there has been many other ways to amelioratethe instruction at college and university level. From the government’s perspective, a large investmentshould be made to equip colleges and universities with more advanced research equipmentto accelerate the scientific research levels. With highlevels of scientific research, it is more likely to fascinate outstanding facultiesthroughout the world. From colleges’ and universities’ perspective, it is necessary for themto present better teaching conditions with introduction of new technologies andmedia, for students could keep the same speed with teacher’s instruction in class and put forwardhis question timely in order to ascend the efficiency of study. It is alsoimportant to ameliorate the self-learning ability of students, which is anindispensable capacity for the rest of the students’ lives.

In short,it varies in the way to improve the quality of instruction at the college anduniversity level, one of which should be considered carefully as it may be irrationalin some particular conditions.


结尾有些薄弱了..不知道该怎么延伸了...望指教~~

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

谁跟我说说怎么把word文档发上来啊？

sola-nanaUID: 2744594

改rose~
无奈了..不会上传文件..本来是用word批注的...

Based on my own observation and experience over the true life, I think it will definitely helpimprove the quality of instructions at the（可省略） colleges and universities that some of the faculty spendtime working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the coursethey teach, but not all.（不能这么用吧，all不能放在句尾的）

To begin with, the advancement ofknowledge, especially in academic fields, is more often than not with thedemand of the progress of thesociety. “Practice makes perfect.” People always found the flaws in the academic theory (some academic theories) by the（这3个the都不是很必要） practicalworking in society, surely including the faculty at the institutions of highereducation. While working outside the academic world, the teachers have lots ofchances to practice their professional knowledge, and complete the instructionsystem better. Moreover, the more the shift（指的是转移？更换？就这两个意思来讲不是很合适哦~理解错误请指正）of thefaculty, the more the communications will be offered. Theteachers from diverse institutions gathertogether, and they can exchangetheir different opinions through working.（Teachersfrom diverse institutions can exchange their different opinions though workingtogether.）At last, underthis circumstance, more intern chances and jobs will be offered to the studentsthrough the relationship with the teachers who connect with outside closely. Asa result of all above, by working outside the academic world, thefaculty will improve their teaching effectiveness.

Nonetheless, as we see that 1. the faculty is necessary to be required to workoutside the academic work(world) tolearn more, which（Which代指的是前面的一句话吧..这样写不合适哦~自己翻译一下就知道了，翻译不通的。你这里的which应该指的是在外工作的经历，而不是之前的那句话。） theycan use in their teaching work（不合适） to improve their instructions, but is itnecessary that 2.all the facultyshould be required to work outside the academic work?（前后标红的1.2.这两句话有些重复额..感觉罗嗦的呢...）Of course, the answeris no. Colleges and universities are supposed to keep an atmosphere of academywhere people are willing to dedicatethemselves to the study andresearch. On the contrary, if all the faculty go to the working places in thecourse of teaching, it is likely that the great and noble campus are full of “a green whiff of gold”. As a result of that（可省略）, the studentswill probably tend to focus too much（放在working offers后面） on theworking offers and how to make money in the future, not to（用not to mention 或者rather than换下）settledown to learn knowledge and haveresearches to bring the contribution to the whole human race. In addition, someof the faculty may be unwilling to have another occupation because of somereasons, such as health problems, individualities etc. Thus, the schools cannotrequire all faculty to work outside, but, in another way, encourage the capableteachers to walk out of the gate of the campus.

In summary, a balance point shouldbe found between the theory and the practice of the academy for both theteachers and the students at（in吧..） the institutions ofhigher education. Only by the teachers’ due practical working outside theacademic world in professions relevant to the course they teach will theinstructions become more effective and suitable for the students.

观点新颖，但注意下the的用法，在草木版主的语法讲解贴中有关于定冠词的用法
尝试再把观点深入分析一下，扩充文章内容

weaselUID: 2739489

红色:问题
蓝色：亮点
紫色：总结

Inthis issue, the speaker provides a recommendation –requiring all faculty tospend time working（一来这后面relevant是形容词，语法错误，二来这句意思表达的不清楚，没有强调出working outside the academic）
relevant to their courses–inaccelerating the quality of instruction at the college and university level.Though this recommendation counts for（翻译为“有很多价值”，是吗？）
much, I have to balance that（这里balance我查了，也可以。。。但是that我就不明白了，因为你后面concern后面还有个that，这句结构有点问题） with my concern thatthere is a tendency to discount the disadvantage of this proposal and otheravailable methods to improve the quality of instruction as importantconsiderations in this issue.

‘Learning inpractice’ （这里为什么单引号?我仅知道单引号是用在双引号以内，查了下我的语法书（薄冰），没见到单引号的用法）has become a slogan when talking about education reforms in order to improve not onlythe quality of instructions from（这个from用的不太贴切我觉得，可以换成of，或者你觉得两个of不好的话，改成quality of teachers’ instruction） teachers but also innerunderstanding to speculative knowledge of students(学生的推测的知识？). While there（？）commendation from this issue suggesting faculty instead of students
（有点多余了，主题并没有牵涉到学生外出实践的问题）should work outside in relevant to their courses really counts fora lot. The instruction from teachers after work outside not only save thelimited time and energy of students, but also provokes（这个词主要是挑衅激怒的意思，换个比较好，比如spark，还有eco里面常见的一个spur刺激鼓舞） students’ interest in study. It is more clarify（词性不对） to students to clinchtheir learning goals with teachers’ instruction of practical experiences and,as a result, students may become more motivated in their study. This kind ofinstruction also makes a diffidence in consideration of the fitness of theirmajor. Simply teaching with theories is boring and abstruse（for students）. Students could get informed by their teachers, who enjoy a high authority in students’ mind and is the maininformation source of their major in college and university about theirdirection and prospect of future, and get prepared for the future. （这个长句写得有繁琐，我写一个你参考一下哈，the main source ofinformation about students’studying majors is from their teachers,whose words enjoy a common high authority as so to influence students’ mind）It is timelier
and more welcome
（及时和更受欢迎? 尤其welcome不太恰当）to the information from practice than from ‘dead’ text books.

这段写得，有点terrible，论证的逻辑过程混乱，句意表达的不清楚，我觉得每句都能说上点东西的，但是单说可能对你帮助不大，这里仅仅给你改了一些用词句式，待会发你一个关于issue模板的论证逻辑，我觉得比较有用，虽然套模板不好，但是可以帮你理一理，顺着入门

这里不是打击你哈，只是看着你那么认真的写了这么多，当然要负责任地说一些有用的话，每个人都有这么一段过程，我自己刚开始的时候，，写得也是如此，anyway，有这个态度就应该坚信一定会写好的，继续努力，有什么问题，欢迎讨论

这次表达上跟上次给你改的那个有一定差距，我想是不是因为你把中文的思路都写好了，然后硬翻译上去？不像上次是用英语思维. 仅仅是猜测，我个人深受其害。

weaselUID: 2739489

Tomake a general statement about the recommend, I have to turn to the opposedside. First, somework refersto some special and particularoperation to some（连用了3个some，别人看了就会反映，到底是some（什么）？）
apparatuswhile one of the main aims of college teaching is to give a general knowledge backgroundof the majors, which means there is not enough time for the detailed instructionof the operation of each apparatus. （还是上面的问题，长句太长，意思表达得不到位，建议长短结合，我自己本来也是喜欢用很长很长的句子，现在慢慢地改正过来一点，不是说长不好，而是太好驾驭，毕竟不是母语，一有差错让一个外国人很难理解你的意思）Second, if teachers implant too much about the particularoperating procedure to their students, it would be skeptical of students to the practicality of whatthey have learned and the comprehensive background knowledge they have spent somuch time and energy on. Third, not all the subjects in college could be putinto practice, such as philosophy, politics, physics, jurimetrics and legalhistory. These are rationalism subjects. Undoubtedly, the recommendation aboveis meaningless. In addition, working outside may distract one’s attention from teaching which should be theirvocation. As a result, it may turn out to be just opposite of what we want.
As education reformhas appeared from ancient times with its aims at promoting the quality ofteaching, there has been many other ways to ameliorate the instruction atcollege and university level. From the government’s perspective, a large investment should be made to equip collegesand universities with more advanced research equipment to accelerate thescientific research levels. With high levels of scientific research, it is morelikely to fascinate outstanding faculties throughout the world. From colleges’ and universities’ perspective, it is necessary for them to present better teachingconditions with introduction of new technologies and media, for students（？） could keep the same speed with teacher’s instruction in class and put forward his question timely inorder to ascend the efficiency of study. It is also important to ameliorate theself-learning ability of students, which is an indispensable capacity for therest of the students’ lives.
长句依然太多，有些地方意思不清，
不止这一段，包括上面，有一个通病：没有逻辑连接词，所以结构显得不清晰
In short, itvaries in the way to improve the quality of instruction at the college and universitylevel, one of which should be considered carefully as it may be irrational insome particular conditions.

整篇结构安排上，总结一下，是这样

出去工作的好处；
出去工作的坏处；
还有其他方法提高instructions’ level

这就像一个流水账一样，列出了好处和坏处，但是别人要问：你这篇文章的观点是什么？说了这么多，你到底想表达一个什么样的态度？

Issue确实每个题目都是带着complexity，但是complexity是要有条理地分析出来，说白了issue考的就是这种能力，并不是把正反两边都列上去，另外再加个other facts就完事了的

平衡有平衡的写法，但绝不是这样的，你结尾说in some particularconditions，如果你想这么case by case地去写，先要分好类，应该类似于这样

在A情况下，老师出去工作好
在B情况下，老师出去工作不好

这其中A和B，是两种case，我说得不全面，这个你可以参考追星箭里有专门说这种写法的，
另外个人建议，这种写法，对于刚上手的人，不好驾驭，我个人重来不这么写，因为我觉得自己驾驭不住，与其面面俱到，反而不如有让步地支持一面或者一面倒地写法，论证更加地有力。因为面面俱到你要做到同时有深度，是要兼备很流畅地语言表达和条理的思维。

总结一下，有两个地方需要努力：一个是长句的问题；另一个是整体逻辑和段落中的逻辑

批得比较狠，见谅！
不过别灰心，找到问题好慢慢改正，不用着急，一直坚持就一定会better：）

weaselUID: 2739489

额，太长，接了2个楼，这里是word

youngstoneUID: 2670818

补作业~~
In colleges and universities, faculties should spend a part of their time working in fields relevant to what they teach outside the academic world. Since these faculties themselves can not only benefit from the working experience but also make necessary adjustments or offer constructive suggestions to their students.

Working outside the academic world is such a necessary experience that the faculties can broaden their horizons and keep up with the new discoveries in the field. They may also learn the new discoveries in a certain field but will never make sure on which the most people are focusing. What he cannot know from the books and papers is the dominant trends of a certain subject. For example, a faculty teaching material science and engineering may not know the casting of alloy is one of the most striking research directions for the moment only by looking through papers or reading books. In one word, the faculties can keep up with the newest ideas in a certain field by working outside the academic world.

Students can benefit from their teachers’ working experience since the teachers can adjust their teaching staff according to the demand of the job market. For some subjects that are more pragmatic, the students majoring this kind of subjects will go to the job market as soon as they graduated. In that case, the faculties can spend more time teaching the staff most relevant to the job or stress more about the relevant items in the textbook.

Another advantage of such experience is that the faculties can tell his working experience to the students. Firstly, students can get access to the work indirectly as early as possible and learn some relevant working skills before they go to work. Secondly, the students can form a whole image of the working in their minds and have clearer objective during their learning process. Thirdly, interest will arise after listening to their teachers’ stories. There is an example of myself. My teacher worked two years after graduation and then went on further study. As a material major sophomore, when my teacher describe to us one of his experience that he made a terrible mistake in the casting process of metal and the cooling procedure, I feel quite excited and I’m ardently looking forward to do it myself.

However, faculties’ working does not always have advantages and some drawback does exist. Firstly, the faculties will spend part of their time working instead of teaching or preparing for classes. There is no doubt that their time and enthusiasm belonging to teaching become less. Secondly, if the faculties make adjustments or offer suggestions to students according to their working experience, some students are more likely to get superficial or impulsive which, for sure, have an adverse effect on their study. Learning is a process in which one should stand loneliness. If being distracted by outside, one may not want to dig into a problem deeply anymore. Secondly, work-oriented courses may make students more utilitarian. Some students may not get interested in certain learning staff once they know that these things are not closely related to their future jobs. Thirdly, many subjects fail to match any working places thus faculties will certainly not find a chance to have a working experience.

To better teach their students, faculties should have some working experience without doubt. Nevertheless, teachers should consider how much time they spend on this part and what percent this part makes up among the whole teaching process. After all, to teach the knowledge and the thinking method are the main goals of teaching.