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发表于 2010-9-2 14:41:58 |只看该作者
9月2日

090612NA.doc

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发表于 2010-9-3 20:55:28 |只看该作者
31# shufesc
个人意见,仅供参考

090612NA--shufesc.doc

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发表于 2010-9-4 13:12:53 |只看该作者
0902 修改完毕~

shufesc_090612NA.doc

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发表于 2010-9-7 14:36:29 |只看该作者
0907作业~

090807NA.doc

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发表于 2010-9-9 10:57:23 |只看该作者
34# shufesc
改好了

090807NA by shufesc.doc

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发表于 2010-9-9 11:39:52 |只看该作者
0907作业~
shufesc 发表于 2010-9-7 14:36



总体不错,前面更好,后面还像松懈了。呵呵,学习了。

修改见附件。

090807NAshu.doc

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发表于 2010-9-9 16:37:02 |只看该作者
36# snowdj
35# utdreamer
谢谢两位的修改~~
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发表于 2010-9-9 16:37:39 |只看该作者
090911NA

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发表于 2010-9-10 08:47:38 |只看该作者
What kind of movies can teach us something about real life? Some people hold the view that only those earning a big name and worth(这个并列关系有点问题:worth和earning并列?) watching movies can give us some instruction about real life, while others argue that all kinds of movies exert a(如果这里的influence你要用作名词) positive influence on(根据语法的话这个on应该是和exert连用,可楼主这里是和influence连用,有点不妥) people. In my opinion, most movies have their own themes and tell us something useful in(at) certain degree. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is of great difficulty to judge whether a piece of movie is worth watching or not. Everyone has his specific criteria for the value of a movie and one movie that is of great value, from my perspective, may be a white paper in other's eyes. A few days ago, a famous movie named red cliff was on display in my city. I think highly of it but my classmate comment it as subversion of historical story. Therefore, before we discuss the question about instruction movies give us, we should define the criteria to judge a movie.

Suppose we reach an agreement at the criteria about movies, and another problem arises(我觉得这个挺亮的,赞,可以把and改成then就很有味道), that is, whether these movies are suitable for people of all ages. As we all know, children are fond of carton movies and show little interest in topics about romance. How can we conclude that carton movies teach children a lot but romance movies do not? So in my opinion, different styles of movies can teach people of different ages something about real life.

Some people may argue that those movies made with the help of advanced technology are of little importance because the story will never happen in our real life. However, in my opinion, these movies are filled with the imagination of human beings and help us to expand our imagination. For example, William, one of my best friends, invented a tool to carry things upstairs and this idea, according to his introduction, comes from a movie he watched several years ago. So it is substantiated that most of the movies can bring some experience and new ideas to us.

To sum up, we should make clear the criteria for judgment of movies and understand that different movies are suitable for different people. Not only those so-called worth watching movies but also those seemingly never happening can teach us something about real life.

文章总体:
1.开头楼主说的论点是:同意latter one,就是most movies have their own themes and tell us something useful at certain degree.
   但是在后文论述中,却感觉抛弃了这个自己定的论点,论证其他的观点了。
   比如第二段,作者说要define a criteria to judge a moive;第三段说要whether these movies are suitable for people of all ages.觉得有点偏题,这里划分的是成人和儿童,但卡通片一定能教孩子现实的知识么??第四段还是很切题的!!~
  
2.楼主的语言功底我觉得还是不错的,很有语言感。

3.楼主明儿考试,加油哦,只要论点找好应该问题不大的,加油加油!!

4.以上只是个人意见~~~小小建议啊

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发表于 2010-9-10 11:39:17 |只看该作者
What kind of movies can teach us something about real life? Some people hold the view that only those earning a big name and worth watching movies can give us some instruction about real life, while others argue that all kinds of movies exert positive influence on people. In my opinion, most movies have their own themes and tell us something useful in certain degree. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is of great difficulty to judge whether a piece of movie is worth watching or not. Everyone has his specific criteria for the value of a movie and one movie that is of great value from my perspective may be a white paper in other's eyes. A few days ago, a famous movie named red cliff was on display in my city. I think highly of it but my classmate comment it as subversion of historical story. Therefore, before we discuss the question about instruction movies give us, we should define the criteria to judge a movie.

Suppose we reach an agreement at the criteria about movies, and another problem arises, that is, whether these movies are suitable for people of all ages. As we all know, children are fond of carton movies and show little interest in topics about romance. How can we conclude that carton movies teach children a lot but romance movies do not? So in my opinion, different styles of movies can teach people of different ages something about real life.

Some people may argue that those movies made with the help of advanced technology are of little importance because the story will never happen in our real life. However, in my opinion, these movies are filled with the imagination of human beings and help us to expand our imagination. For example, William, one of my best friends, invented a tool to carry things upstairs and this idea, according to his introduction, comes from a movie he watched several years ago. So it is substantiated that most of the movies can bring some experience and new ideas to us.

To sum up, we should make clear the criteria for judgment of movies and understand that different movies are suitable for different people. Not only those so-called worth watching movies but also those seemingly never happening can teach us something about real life.

楼主写得很好。语言功底不错,字数也比较充足,观点比较鲜明。祝你明天考试旗开得胜,马到成功!赞一个

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RE: shufesc的独立作文贴~~欢迎各位拍砖 [修改]

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