5.17 独立写作练习，加油！

KeeeeenWUID: 2592937

The world is called the earth village nowadays, and human beings are immerged in the ocean of information and technology. Accordingly, a fair proportion of people claim that the widespread of information, which has nothing to do with their daily lives, is a waste of resource and energy and it should be filtered out. On the contrary, some others believe that events happening around the world that not affect their daily lives are good to know, and as far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter idea, if responsibility and communication are taken into consideration.（这个写得很清楚、有条理，一看就懂！）To start with, being acquainted with news around the world will help us realize our responsibilities to the world, even if it does not affect our daily lives. Ever since the era of primitives, our ancestors began to imagine a world without war, starvation and inequality. Thousands of years have passed, it turns out to be our responsibilies to care for the world. For example, when there is a drought in Africa, we could donate money and necessties to the victims if we know it from the TV, websites or other channels, and this could just save more people who are struggling to survive. It is our human beings that could save ourselves from disasters and tragedies, which will definitely improve the development of society. （共创美好家园人人有责？？学习！学习！）

Secondly, events happening around the world could inspire us unconsciously. There are plenty of instances that an artist obtains inspirations from daily news and pieces of information. For example, the Hollywood has made a bunch of（这个貌似有点口语，建议 a multitude of） movies talking about other cultures and alien stories, such as Kongfu Panda, The Lion King and Mulan, all of which are collected from materials of other countries but are definitely success as the treasure of the whole humanity.（好例子哈）

However, we should not neglect that caring about this large mass information needs amounts of time and energy. The population is nearly seven billion, so thousands of hundreds of news will be present in front of our eyes by the advanced technology and the dense network of news agencies. For example, the newspaper becomes thicker and thicker; and the webside who claims to be capable of storing mass data is also expanding rapidly with the consequence of slow connecting speed and bothering redundancy.

As a result, we should care about the event which does not affect our daily lives but happens around the world and we should also overcome the obstacles hindering us from getting to know. Only by this way, the world could flourish and become prosperous in the future.

语言很干脆，例子也很不错！建议扩展下正面的例子，背面的例子可以一笔带过，突出重点！

canoe03UID: 2786666

楼主的语法很强大的说，学习了，谢谢你的指教！

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

6.21Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?
Outline:
Yes;
1, happy keeps us moving forward;
2, happy we recognize ourself correctly;
3, success is also very important.
Summary.

Well, Start: 20:56;

Success is a hot word ever since it was created. Numerous people dream and follow it sacrificing their lives and families. Consequently, there are opinions saying that success is of great significance even taking account of happiness and other beautiful things people treasure. While some others stand out on the opposite side, and in their minds, it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when they fail. For my part, I strongly support the second notion, if the long run development and self-recognization are considered.

To start with, happiness and optimism after failure keep us moving forward. Life is a long journey with all kinds of scenes. Both success and failure are episodes of living. Success would mean nothing if people stop working hard after achieving their goals, while failure implies a new starter when people who lose the game keep happy and optimistic. For example, Abraham Lincoln had failed lots of times before he became the president of the America. He used to be a poor speaker and miserable lawyer, but after thousands times of lossing, he won the trust of most Americans in the end.

Secondly, correct attitudes after failure will help us rediscover ourselves objectively. People winning the game are inclined to loss their minds. Arroggrance and agitation will mislead them in the long run if they do not restrict their behaviors of showing off around. On the other hand, though failure would make our family and friends disappointed and leave away from us, it could give us a quiet ambience to recognize and analyze ourselves. For instance, the Scottish King Grant had been defeated by the British for six times, but after he calmed himself down in a cave and observed the spider weaving its net again and again, he analyzed his disadvantages and decided to carry on another battle. Finally, he succeeded. Obviously, it is vital to keep faith after failure, for the final success belongs to those who never give up.

However, it is also undeniable that success is important. Nowadays, success means people could be enrolled into top universies, enjoy more privileges and obtain great opportunities. When we move on forward, success is also our strong pushes. While since failure is the the mother of success, we still could not treat them equally.

To conclude what I have stated above, it is more crucial to keep smiling after lossing, for we could still pick up success in the future as long as we are moving forward happily. Success just means to be successive.

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

Success is a hot word ever since it was created. Numerous people dream and follow it sacrificing their lives and families.（我喜欢这个开头简单明了） Consequently, there are opinions saying that success is of great significance even taking account of happiness and other beautiful things people treasure. While some others stand out on the opposite side, and in their minds, it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when they fail. For my part, I strongly support the second notion, if the long run development and self-recognization are considered.

To start with, happiness and optimism after failure keep us moving forward. Life is a long journey with all kinds of scenes. Both success and failure are episodes of living. Success would means nothing if people stop working hard after achieving their goals, while failure implies a new starter when people who lose the game after keep happy and optimistic. For example, Abraham Lincoln had failed lots of times before he became the president of the America. He used to be a poor speaker and miserable lawyer, but after thousands times of lossing, he won the trust of most Americans in the end.

Secondly, correct attitudes after failure will help us rediscover ourselves objectively. People winning the game are inclined to loss their minds. Arroggrance(arrogrance) and agitation will mislead them in the long run if they do not restrict their behaviors of showing off around. On the other hand, though failure would make our family and friends disappointed and leave away from us, it could give us a quiet ambience to recognize and analyze ourselves. For instance, the Scottish King Grant had been defeated by the British for six times, but after he calmed himself down in a cave and observed the spider weaving its net again and again, he analyzed his disadvantages and decided to carry on another battle. Finally, he succeeded. Obviously, it is vital to keep faith after failure, for the final success belongs to those who never give up., w2 z! ?7 n( i& B$ A

However, it is also undeniable that success is important. Nowadays, success means people could be enrolled into top universies, enjoy more privileges and obtain great opportunities. When we move on forward, success is also our strong pushes. While since failure is the the mother of success, we still could not treat them equally.

To conclude what I have stated above, it is more crucial to keep smiling after lossing, for we could still pick up success in the future as long as we are moving forward happily. Success just means to be successive.

可以看的出楼主的语法功底很好，羡慕羡慕啊。。。文章中的例子也举的很不错整体读起来很通畅，学习了我还要加把力了

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

6.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.

Outline:
Yes;
1, teacher could concentrate on teaching with more money;
2, gain more respect, less bribe from the parents;
3, only for money without good moral.
Summary: strict selection.

Recently, I read an article with the title of Lessons From Locke. In this piece of writing, the author tells stories and his analysis about the teaching experience in Locke High School which is part of the TFA (Teach For America) program. He points out that the low quality of fundamental education today is mainly attributed to the informal selection for teachers and the unprofessional teaching faculty, and behind all of these is the weak finacial support from government and society, which directly leads to low wages for teaching staff and then the elite are not willing to devote themselves to education. Thus, I believe the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase the educational budget and the teachers' salaries.

First of all, only when there is suffcient money as their salaries, the excellent people could be attracted by these teaching positions. As we all know, people work for their pays at this period of time, for the income needs to suffice for their daily living, such as eating, housing and transporting. Without all these material stuffs, they will not concentrate on their job and then succeed in their careers. Accordingly, most of the smart people are not likely to choose low-paying jobs. For instance, Wall Street and Silicon Valley have hired most of talents for their high salary policies, and it is also the reason why so many people learn Economy and  Engineering nowadays. On the other hand, the normal colleges usually could hardly enroll enough students.

Besides, high salaries for teachers will eliminate the phenomena of bribing in school. We could not neglect the corruptions happening in the schoolyards. Students with poor performances are anxious to gain high grades to satisfy their parents, and parents are also worried the ill records will bring their children troubles and disadvantages. As a result, bribing the teacher comes out under such a circumstance. Teachers with high salaries are not likely to be attracted by the indecent behaviors, while the needy ones may not be able to refuse such temptations. For example, once there was a case talking about a teacher accepting bribes and taking exams for her students, and then she was arrested for her immoral behaviors. It is a miserable story, but it emphasizes the importance of high salaries for teachers.

Nonetheless, it is important to notice that raising the salaries of teachers is the best way but not the only way. Building more professional normal schools and establishing complete regulations are also pathes to improve the education systems. Furthermore, the recruiting mechanism should also be stricter in case of hiring those greedy ones.

To conclude what I mentioned above, we should increase teachers' salaries to improve the education, for it is the best way to make teachers free of worries for money and embarrassments of taking bribes.

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

37# jbc88
   谢谢修改，但是for那个地方是这样子的

for引导的原因状语从句并不说明主句行为发生的直接原因， 只提供一些辅助性的补充说明， for引导的原因状语从句只能放于主句之后并且必须用逗号将其与主句隔开。例如： He could not have seen me, for I was not there. 他不可能见过我， 因为我不在那里。

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

6.23  Past people are friendlier than they are today.
9:25计时开始
Outline:

no;
people show in another way;
group works more;
past people chat togther;
so people now are more friendlier.

Friendliness is a virtue and deemed as a precious characteristic of people both today and in the past. People who are inclined to recall their beautiful memories tend to hold the opinion that people are less friendlier than ever before. While another fair proportion of people stand on the opposite side, claiming that people today are more easygoing and open-minded and thus friendlier. As far as I am concerned, I vigorously supportly the latter idea, if the channels people communicate by and contemporary groupwork are taken into consideration.

First of all, people show friendliness in other ways nowadays. Generally, the world has entered the era of information. Intenet, TV sets and telephones gradually take the place of face-to-face chatting and become the main stream of communication. People help each other in the cyberspace and show cares in an electronic way. For example, when I encounter a problem at work, I usually turn to the Internet. Only need I post my question on the BBS, and after a short while, someone who may be the expert will answer my question warm-heartedly.

What's more, there are more teamworks at present. People form groups spontaneously to accomplish their common goal. Sometimes, they just do not know each other's name. Just combined through the same interest, they would cooperate happily. For instance, it is a fashion today to attend a travel team in the Internet and buy merchandise as a group. They offer care and love to those strangers. In the end, most of them become friends.

Nonetheless, people in the past are also quite friendly, when they say hello and take their hats off to their aquiantances. They show friendliness more directly, and the relation between people is simple and harmonious.

Undeniably, there may be one or two aspects proving past people are friendly. However, I belive they still could not compete with the friendliness modern people express both in the width and depth.

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

6.23chrysoidine.doc (23.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-6-24 11:28:10 上传

下载次数: 4

修改的文在附件里面，哈哈，因为偶觉得比贴出来更好改:loveliness:

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

谢谢哈~修改得很直观很仔细，因为这次逼自己在半个小时内完成，所以写的比较乱，谢谢！