高手指点一下吧，第一篇A

mydream2012UID: 2814005

Argument 19.The following appeared in a letter from the manager of a rock band named Double Rice.

"One year ago, tickets for Double Rice's concerts in stadiums around the country took, on average, at least 24 hours to sell out, if they sold out at all. But the band has been enjoying a surge in nationwide popularity among 14 to 25 year olds, and the 30,000 tickets for a recent concert in Megalopolis sold out in 12 minutes. Clearly the ticket sales in Megalopolis are a result both of the band's increased popularity and of the advertising campaign run in Megalopolis by the Ad Lib advertising agency. Thus, in order to ensure that the band's success in Megalopolis is repeated across the country, the band should hire Ad Lib to duplicate the Megalopolis ad campaign on a nationwide scale."

The author seems like offer a very constructive suggestion for the band, how to ensure the success in Megalopolis repeated across the country. However, though a comprehensive analysis is not really hard to find certain aspects that the author did not take into consideration, which weak his suggestion.
First of all, even in the Megalopolis the brand had a great success with the help of Ad lib, we are not sure that all Ad's advertisement will work in the country wide. It is very possible that all the advertisement only work in Megalopolis due to this company's reputation in local area. If this company work for the band when they go to a different area, there is no guarantee that all the methods which they used in Megalopolis will attract the people in other area.
Secondly, all we can know from the info above about the Ad lib is that they worked for the band in Megalopolis. What kind of method they used to help the band, we have no idea. The contribution from this Ad company may play a very small role when the band had a success in Megalopolis .may be just because that the band has a great deal of fans in that area. It does not really matter who helps them to do the advertisement, they will success there. Also we can not ignore the fact that the band has been enjoying a surge in the nationwide popularity among 14 to 25 yeas old, it is very possible that all the people who went to the concert in Megalopolis were teenagers and young people, the Ad’s
Advertisement campaign only work for this group people and they may not be good at making an effective impact on other age group, which could be the band’s potentials fans.
Furthermore, even this company did a good job in this area, we may not need to rush to sign the contract with them on the nationwide scale. There is a possibility that we may meet other ad's company which can offer better service with a lower cost.
So based on the analyze above, i think the band need to reconsider about signing the contract with Ad company and duplicate the Megalopolis on a nationwide scale.

cant0577UID: 2781482

The author seems like offer a very constructive suggestion for the band, how to ensure the success in Megalopolis repeated across the country. However, though a comprehensive analysis is not really hard to find certain aspects that the author did not take into consideration, which weak his suggestion.为什么要用上though?
First of all, even in the Megalopolis the brand had a great success with the help of Ad lib, we are not sure that all Ad's advertisement will work in the country wide. It is very possible that all the advertisement only work in Megalopolis due to this company's reputation in local area. If this company work for the band when they go to a different area, there is no guarantee that all the methods which they used in Megalopolis will attract the people in other area.
Secondly, all we can know from the info above about the Ad lib is that they worked for the band in Megalopolis. What kind of method they used to help the band, we have no idea. The contribution from this Ad company may play a very small role when the band had a success in Megalopolis . for example, may be just because (可以这样子写吗？感觉有点中式英语哦）that the band has a great deal of fans in that area. It does not really matter who helps them to do the advertisement, they will success there.加点连接词，可能会把意思更加串的连贯些，读起来有些断句的感觉 Also we can not ignore the fact that the band has been enjoying a surge in the nationwide popularity among 14 to 25 yeas old, it is very possible that all the people who went to the concert in Megalopolis were teenagers and young people, the Ad’s
Advertisement campaign only work for this group people and they may not be good at making an effective impact on other age group, which could be the band’s potentials fans.
Furthermore, even this company did a good job in this area, we may not need to rush to sign the contract with them on the nationwide scale. There is a possibility that we may meet other ad's company which can offer better service with a lower cost.
So based on the analyze above, i think the band need to reconsider about signing the contract with Ad company and duplicate the Megalopolis on a nationwide scale.

我刚开始看A 所以稍微提一下我的感觉
总体上把关键点写到了Thus, in order to ensure that the band's success in Megalopolis is repeated across the country, the band should hire Ad Lib to duplicate the Megalopolis ad campaign on a nationwide scale."
文章论证了它的地方局限性，演唱会的成果可能不是该公司的广告效应（这里能不能多写一些，该文章没有提供信息资料 广告的效应，对售票的刺激性）第三个觉得作为论据有点小，可以放在最后一段的建议中 建议各个论点写的详细些，不要一笔带过


附上 别人的 分析：
rock band, Double Rice's concerts 论断：要保证乐队在该市的成功能在全国的重复，就应该雇用Ad Lib在全国范围复制在这里的广告攻势。因为乐队最近一次演出的3万张票在12分钟里就售光了，而以前是需要24小时的。这样的成果有一部分是因为Ad Lib广告公司在广告宣传。 ·论断的前提是在该市广告方式在全国也能取得成功，但这是没有根据的。不同的地区情况不同，比如人们对广告的态度，对乐队的态度，生活习惯等等。缺乏对特定地区市场的了解，而盲目重复以前的经验，成功的可能性很小。 ·论断引用乐队最近一次演出的售票情况做为例证，但其中却有一些模糊的地方。比如这种成功有多少是因为广告带来的？论者提到乐队最近在14到25岁的歌迷中的知名度有全国性的上升，与以往相比乐队这次票能更快地售光，与名气的急骤提升有很大关系，这使得我们对广告的作用有多大产生了疑问。 ·论断提出要保证乐队在该市的成功能在全国重复，这一点值得商榷。论者说乐队最近名气有急升，却没有提供任何进一步的资料说明这种名气是否能持续。如果说这次名气上升是因为音乐以外的偶然事件，那么这种售票的情况很可能不会重复。结论：重复成功的经验并不能保证以后就能成功。论者应该根据演出的地点、观众群调整广告模式。而如果要证明这家广告公司得力，他应该提供更多的资料，比如有多少乐迷是因为广告了解了乐队并进来买票，或是乐队在同样的名气下在其他地方的演出情况。



希望对你有帮助

江雪UID: 2790520

先用WORD给文章查错，再恶补一下语法：推荐系统学习草木推荐过的语法大贴和前几天有人发过的“避免串句”的帖。over

mydream2012UID: 2814005

3# 江雪
请问可以把你说的那两个帖子地址发一下吗？我搜索了一下，没有找到，在这里谢过了

mydream2012UID: 2814005

2# cant0577
当然有帮助,非常感谢啊,希望能和你多切磋啊,你是啥时候,在哪里机考啊?

江雪UID: 2790520

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