5.23 Writing... (by 8600)

lhs8600UID: 2383996

09.5.9 In order to becomea financially responsible adult, people should be taught how to manage money atan early age.



第一次写T作文, 超时了很多, 例子很少, 感觉写得也不是很符合题意...... 希望大家多给意见.



To become a financially responsible adult, Istrongly agree that one should be taught how to manage money as early aspossible. Learning how to manage one’s own finance is at the same the time a somuch promising step into a better future. I will try to examine below thespecific reasons for wealth management learning according to which I think arethe most common viewpoints nowadays.

I agree with the statement withoutreservation since learning how to manage money early is beneficial to form thegood habit of spending their money more reasonable. Nowadays, some children spendtheir money like they are playing duck and drake as their parents spoilt themby giving them too much pocket money. It will be harmful to their developmentand become a hinder to be financially responsible adults. Children should betaught how to allocate their pocket money in their daily life, like building upa bank account, making a shopping scheme.

Another important reason is that learninghow to manage money will let the children understand that it is not easy toearn money. If the parents deny the children nothing, the children will never feelnecessary to be frugality in their life. By bringing the children in theirplans, such as paying the house loan, buying a car, the parents are able toteach the young savings is essential for the future plans and frugality isimportant to maintain the family which will influence on their later life.

Apart from the points I mentioned abovethere is also an important reason that it is significant to let the young know howto use credit card rationally in this credit card flooding society. When thechildren enter a university or study aboard, knowing how to use the creditcards contributes greatly to their campus life. The students who have beentaught how to manage money at their early age adapt themselves to the new campuslife faster. They know how to balance their consumption on study, daily lifeand entertainment.

Taking into account of all these factors,one should start learning finance management at an early age. As far as I know,in my country many elementary schools have given wealth management lessons,which will be valuable for the future of the young.

250427293UID: 2582347

To become a financially responsible adult, I strongly agree that one should be taught how to manage money as early as possible. (Learning how to manage one’s own finance is at the same the time a so much promising step into a better future.这句话好别扭啊，是否可以改成because I believe by learning how to manage fiancé could help us in a long-term,) I will try to examine below the specific reasons for （wealth management learning有这个单词吗？用financial management比较好点。。） according to which I think are the most common viewpoints nowadays.
I agree with the statement with out reservation啥意思？没看懂 since learning how to manage money early is beneficial to form the good habit of spending their money more reasonable.改at a early age will beneficial to children because which is a good habit. Nowadays, some children spend their money like they are playing duck and drake as their parents spoilt them by giving them too much pocket money.这句话 2个动词了It will be harmful to their 改for their development and become a hinder to be financially responsible adults. Children should be taught how to allocate their pocket money in their daily life, like building up a bank account, making a shopping scheme.感觉没有阐述理由，只举了2个例子，最后还需加个总结

Another important reason is that learning how to manage money will let the children understand that it is not easy to earn money. If the parents deny the children nothing, 看不懂这句,用if the parents do not allow their children to try anything, 比较好吧。。the children will never feel necessary to be frugality in their life. By bringing the children in their plans, such as paying the house loan, buying a car,小孩子不懂这些。。不如让他们做家务赚钱 the parents are able to teach the young savings is essential for the future plans and frugality is important to maintain the family which will influence on their later life.
Apart from the points I mentioned above there is also an important reason that it is significant to let the young know how to use credit card rationally in this credit card flooding society. When the children enter a university or study aboard, knowing how to use the credit cards contributes greatly to their campus life. The students who have been taught how to manage money at their early age adapt themselves to the new campus life faster. They know how to balance their consumption on study, daily life and entertainment. 这段貌似完全离题了。为什么突然提到用信用卡？

Taking into account of all these factors, one should start learning finance management at an early age. As far as I know, in my country many elementary schools have given wealth management lessons, which will be valuable for the future of the young. 改Youth 最后一段不用举例了，总结一下你的points即可

canoe03UID: 2786666

Tobecome a financially responsible adult, I strongly agree that one should betaught how to manage money as early as possible. Learning how to manage one’sown finance is at the same the time(这个词组放在这里有些别扭) a somuch promising (step into前面应该用副词) step into a betterfuture. I will try to examine below the specific reasons for wealth management learning(learning of wealth management)according to which I think (此处缺少从句主语？不肯定) are the most commonviewpoints nowadays.

Iagree with the statement without reservation since learning how to manage moneyearly is beneficial to form the good habit of spending their money more reasonable(reasonably). Nowadays, some childrenspend their money like they are playing duck anddrake(?) as their parents spoilt(spoil)them by giving them too much pocket money. It will be harmful to theirdevelopment and become a hinder(貌似这不是名词) to be(of being) financially responsible adults.Children should be taught how to allocate their pocket money in their dailylife, like building up(opening?) a bankaccount, making a shopping scheme (是不是要加一个etc.?).

Anotherimportant reason is that learning how to manage money will let(make) the children understand that it is noteasy to earn money. If the parents deny thechildren nothing(不懂什么意思？), the children will never feelnecessary(有点中式化了，可以说know the essentiality) to be frugality(frugal)in their life. By bringing the children in their plans(表达有点奇怪), such as paying the houseloan, buying a car, the parents are able to teach the young savings isessential for the future plans and frugality is important to maintain thefamily which will influence on their later life.

Apartfrom the points I mentioned above there is also an important reason that it issignificant to let the young know how to use credit card rationally in this credit card flooding(可以删掉) society. When the childrenenter a university or study aboard, knowing how to use the credit cardscontributes greatly to their campus life. The students who have been(were) taught how to manage money attheir early age adapt themselves to the new campus life faster. They know howto balance their consumption on study, daily life and entertainment.

Takinginto account of all these factors, one should start learning finance managementat an early age. As far as I know, in my country many elementary schools havegiven wealth management lessons, which will be valuable for the future of theyoung.

楼主这篇文章存在部分语法错误，句子结构不大合理，有些表达也比较中式。整篇作文结构不错，就是例子不够具体。改的不好之处，请指正并谅解。