Issue48 我的第一篇issue

yunbaoUID: 2683762

因为下个星期就考了，所以很慌，很慌乱很慌乱的……
先谢谢了！！！等我考完了，一定回来报答！
TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 616          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 5/31/2010 3:18:54 PM

Time flies. Though now we are living in a mordern life style in the twenty - first centry, we are inevitably living in an era formed by our ancestors and we are still being influenced by their past activities. However, only a few of the past celebrities's names have been memorised. Thus some argue that the historians pay too much emphasis on individuals but neglect groups of people who actually made most significant events and trends happen in the past. I also feel sorry for those people who initiated and practised many big events but finally forgotten by current civilians. Nevertheless, I feel it is unavoidable to only concentrate on a few individual in the study of history for the following several reasons.

First of all, although usually important changes were usually made by a large group of people working together, there was usually one or a very small number of leaders who planned and led the great activity. For example, in one of the most famous revolutions called Xin Hai Revolution in China in the early twentieth centry, many progressive young men participated, but the whole revolution was led by one person, Sun Zhongshan. It was Mr. Sun who planned in details of this revolution, who gathered enough people and hence made this revolution happen. Before this famous revolutionist Mr. Sun, many progressive people just had the desire to start a revolution against the government at that time in China, they lacked the necessary ability to lead this great event. So in many cases, when we see the events and trends were formed by many people, we cannot deny that without a certain critical individual, the people left could never initiate such events and trends.

At this point, some may refute that without the participation of those people considered not so "critical", the events such as Xin Hai Revolution could never be realised too. And hence they should not be put into oblivion. I would say I fully admit that the effort of those people was indispensible. However, those people were usually able to be easily replaced by similar people sharing similar ambition, while the most significant leader was not usually imitable. Just like the well-known scientist Newton, who made many inventions, was the only one who was that profligate in scientific history. But the theories he utilized were developed by many people before him and many of them did similar but not breaking-through discoveries.

In addition, our history is billions of years long and it is becoming even longer.  Together the human race is experiencing more and also need to analyse more complex events. Regrettably, our memory and energy are limited. As a result, in the process of analysing past events in history, the events may be able to be better and more thorouly analyzied if the historians focus their attention to the event itself and only the key individuals but do not bother to cite all people involved in the event every time the historians need to mention the event.

In summary, the effort and support of the massive people who helped make the great events and trends happen should never be forgetton completely. Actually they are not totally forgotten usually. For instance, the soldiers who helped in the Xinhai Revolution have their names written down in the memorial of this event though they were never mentioned one by one in almost all history books (maybe in appendix). But most importantly, given the vital influence of some brilliant individuals and our limited energy and memory, the major attention should be focused on those individuals, so that we could analyze the events more deeply and shape our future better from the lessons of them.

江雪UID: 2790520

Spelling不好——自己用word查；

celebrities's——不会用名词所有格；

pay too much emphasis on——乱用动词搭配，put/place emphasis on，pay attention to；

I also feel sorry for those people who initiated and practised many big events but【were】finally forgotten by current civilians.——语态的主动和被动；

a few individual——名词复数；

First of all, although usually important changes were usually made by a large group of people working together, there was usually one or a very small number of leaders who planned and led the great activity.——usually滥用到一定程度了，working together多余，there was改为there were，activity建议用复数；

For example, in one of the most famous revolutions called Xin Hai Revolution in China in the early twentieth centry, many progressive young men participated, but the whole revolution was led by one person, Sun Zhongshan. ——辛亥革命是Xinhai Revolution，in这句和many这句顺序要颠倒一下，Sun Zhongshan是拼音写法，老外叫他Sun Yatsen。

Before this famous revolutionist Mr. Sun, many progressive people just had the desire to start a revolution against the government at that time in China, they lacked the necessary ability to lead this great event.——句式杂糅；

However, those people were usually able to be easily replaced by similar people sharing similar ambition, while the most significant leader was not usually imitable.——？

Just like the well-known scientist Newton, who made many inventions, was the only one who was that profligate in scientific history. ——？

Together the human race is experiencing more and also need to analyse more complex events.——主谓一致；

As a result, in the process of analysing past events in history, the events may be able to be better and more thorouly analyzied if the historians focus their attention to the event itself and only the key individuals but do not bother to cite all people involved in the event every time the historians need to mention the event. ——句式杂糅到一定程度了。

yunbaoUID: 2683762

谢谢斑竹！感谢不是说的！
确实有不少拼写错误，立即用word改正了，感觉用打字的和平时用笔写就是不一样啊！下次一定注意！并且一定留出充裕的时间回头检查！
其实孙中山的英文名是知道的，但是在想会不会人名不用精确使用————
主谓不一致是自己一直以来的大问题……没想到这么多年来还是这样的……
对于第一个读不懂的句子，确实是写得太不好了，如果写成： However, those people are mostly common people, so they could be replaced by some other people sharing the same goal. While the true leader is likely to be a prodigy thus is not so easily being replaced by others.  会不会比较好懂。
第二个句子，呃，拼错了单词，是说Newton is the most prolific scientist in history and over so many years nobody could surpass him. This implies that he is the only one who can make such big contribution in science field and cannot be replaced. In contrast, some other scientists though also contributed to the scientific progress (even served as cornerstones for Newton's inventions), they achieved similar successes. It means that even part of them did not make any effort; the same achievements could be obtained by others.
但是句式杂糅那里，我感觉不是很明白，感觉自己用了太多状语= = 和 and= = （简直和usually一样，太紧张了，满脑子都是usually）。是不是改成一个个短语子会比较好。