1010G欢迎拍文作文修改小组----6月10日作业帖

fchenyanUID: 2804020

issue69

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"Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

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argument112

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The following proposal was raised at a meeting of the Franklin City Council.

"Franklin Airport, which is on a bay, is notorious for flight delays. The airport management wants to build new runways to increase capacity but can only do so by filling in 900 acres of the bay. The Bay Coalition organization objects that filling in the bay will disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. But the airport says that if it is permitted to build its new runways, it will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that have previously been damaged by industrialization. This plan should be adopted, for it is necessary to reduce the flight delays, and the wetlands restoration part of the plan ensures that the bay's environment will actually be helped rather than hurt."

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fchenyanUID: 2804020

俺的作业，先出来献个丑，权当垫底。
写作环境AWP173
TOPIC: ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
WORDS: 493
TIME: 00:50:00
DATE: 2010-06-09 19:58:15


Do you have the experience of spending day and night writing detailed applications and filling forms to the government for scientific funds? Whatever field you are working in, that's almost the only way to get financial supporting, since there are so little private donations. Do you think the government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development? In fact I do not agree with the arguer's opinion, and I think the government should place enough restrictions there.


Firstly, the money for scientific research is from every member of the country, but not from some rich few. In the past and coming tens of years, it always turns out to be not enough to meet all research needs. The government is the organization that have the responsibility to select from all kinds of applications to make good use of the finite number of money. There are so many researchers want money, and our government have to know which program is worth to give support to, so there must be enough restrictions.

Secondly, it is the reality that some people are deceiving money from the government. What they want is just money, that means the government is wasting every people's tax if there is no restriction on scientific research. Some researchers applied money for a project, but didn't work hard on it and failed to finish it at time or didn't get a good development, it is also wasting our resources, in that situation, why don't we choose a better researching team to give funds?
There are always examples that some people who don't have the ability to get progress in his field, and his colleagues may be more perfect and more proper to do give the chance to get the foundation for the project. We only give the choice to the people who is ready, so is the capital arrangement. So the restrictions can the researching working harder, which promoting the scientific development directly.

Thirdly, the restrictions promote the scientific workers' progress. That because if don't meet the restrictions he or she can't have the chance to do such research, so he or she will try to get himself or herself to be excellent enough to obtain the chance. Most young researchers who are just graduate from colleges or universities will feel it is very difficult to get money researching, thanks to all kinds of restrictions, they have to exert themselves step by step since they believe that there always better one, and that's the way our government cultivating talented persons.
Progressing in scientific is result from competing, which is also the product of restrictions of the government. I will become one of them, before applying for foundations, I will always working hard to make myself a better one, and I think that's what most students thinking, but not complaining about restrictions.

In summary, the government should place enough restrictions on scientific research, and that is really good for the development.


TOPIC: ARGUMENT112 - The following proposal was raised at a meeting of the Franklin City Council.

"Franklin Airport, which is on a bay, is notorious for flight delays. The airport management wants to build new runways to increase capacity but can only do so by filling in 900 acres of the bay. The Bay Coalition organization objects that filling in the bay will disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. But the airport says that if it is permitted to build its new runways, it will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that have previously been damaged by industrialization. This plan should be adopted, for it is necessary to reduce the flight delays, and the wetlands restoration part of the plan ensures that the bay's environment will actually be helped rather than hurt."
WORDS: 471
TIME: 00:50:00
DATE: 2010-06-09 19:58:15


In this argument, the arguer concludes that filling in 900 acres of the bay will be a good plan, since the airport will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay have previously been damaged by industrialization, and saying that that plan ensures that the bay's environment actually be helped rather than hurt. The argument suffers from several fallacies.

Firstly, filling in 900 acres of the bay and fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that previous been damaged by industrialization may not means ensures the bay's environment, since the environment can not be measured by number of acres. The 1,000 acres of damaged wetlands can not be completely restored, but the environment of the 900 acres of the bay can be thoroughly destroyed. May be there are some species are dying out, which can not be restoration at any price. It is known to everyone that there are something belongs to our nature can never be back once we lost, so is the bay. One day the airport may give us a restored wetland, but it can never return us what they damaged.
Secondly, the airport can find other approaches to reduce the flight delays, and build new runways by filling the bay is not the only choice, also not the best way to solve the problem. The airport management made that plan since that the way the most they can benefit. To make such decision tells that they don't really care about the environment and they don't have far sight. If Franklin is famous for the beautiful landscape, most travelers flying there to see that the environment is getting worse, the airport may lose their customs.
Thirdly, the local government should adopt such a plan. Considering the current situations, we are not sure the airport having enough money and enough to finish the restoration of 1,000 acres of wet lands. That is to say that, the airport is not really want to be responsible for the fund they are promising. While they are using their capital building new runways, they may have not enough money left to help the restoration of the wetlands, and they would disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. Where can the wildlife habitat if they destroyed the bay they were living? You can imagine the scene that poor birds losing homeland getting starved to death. Otherwise, if the airport has enough fund and help restore the wetland first, the restored place can not be completely fit for the living of the wild lives, and we may lose the tidal patterns forever.

In summary, the plan lacks credibility because the airport focus on the solution of their own problem and does not pay enough attention to the environment. To make a final decision, we need a more detailed responsible plan.

qing200UID: 2507993

Issue 69

Do you have the experience of spending day and night writing detailed applications and filling forms to the government for scientific funds? Whatever field you are working in, that's almost the only way to get financial supporting, since there are so little private donations. Do you think the government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development? In fact, I do not agree with the arguer's opinion, and I think the government should place enough restrictions there. (提问式开头还不错，态度明确)

Firstly, the money for scientific research is from every member of the country, but not some rich few. （In the past and coming tens of years, 这个说法没看见过，也感觉比较怪，后面有always了就不要他们了）It always turns out to be not enough to meet all research needs. The government is the organization that decides whose application will receive the research finances. (has the responsibility to select from all kinds of applications to make good use of the finite （number）amount of money). There are so many researchers (want ) need research finances (money 谁不想要钱呢？), and our government have to （know）decide  which program （is worth to give support to）deserves the funding, so there must be enough restrictions (这个似乎讲的是规则，和条例，你的意思是让政府制定一些规则去公平公正的分发研究经费，这些东西肯定是存在的，只是他们不按着做。但是我的理解restrictions是限制，不是规则，条例).

Secondly, （it is the reality）there are realities that some people are deceiving money from the government. What they want is just money,( that means the government is wasting every people's tax if there is no restriction on scientific research（什么样的restrictions 能够阻止这样的事情发生呢？） . Some researchers applied money for a project, but they didn't work hard on it and failed to finish it （at ）on time or didn't get a good development,(这句不知道怎么理解). It also wastes our resources(什么resources?), in that situation, (why don't we choose a better researching team to give funds?), those meaningful researches may be restricted due to lack of finances. There are always examples that some people who don't have the ability to get progress in his field, and his colleagues may be more perfect and more proper to do give the chance to get the foundation for the project. We only give the (choice) chance to the people who are ready（, so is the capital arrangement）. So the restrictions （什么样的restrictions能解决这个问题？） can the researching working harder, which promoting the scientific development directly.  

Thirdly, the restrictions assist（promote ）the scientific workers to make progress. That because if don't meet the restrictions he or she can't have the chance to do such research, so he or she will try to get himself or herself to be excellent enough to obtain the chance. Most young researchers who are just graduate from( colleges or) universities will feel it is very difficult to get (money researching) research funding, thanks to all kinds of restrictions, they have to exert themselves step by step since they believe that there always better one(没谓语，也没理解为什么是better one), and that will be the right way our government cultivating talented persons.

Progresses in scientific fields are result from competing, which is also the product of restrictions of the government. I will become one of them, before applying for （foundations）finances, I will always work（ing） hard to make myself a better one, and I think that's what most students thinking, but not complaining about restrictions.

In summary, the government should place enough restrictions on scientific research, and that is really good for the development.

整篇还不错，
就是有些有毛病，
还有就是那个restriction的理解和你有差异，我觉得是限制，约束，但是在你的文章里头表达的是规章制度，条例。
个人意见，如有不当，请谅解。

qing200UID: 2507993

In this argument, the arguer concludes that filling in 900 acres of the bay will be a good plan, since the airport will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay have previously been damaged by industrialization, and saying that that plan ensures that the bay's environment actually be helped rather than hurt. The argument suffers from several fallacies. （开头非常好，赞！）

Firstly, filling in 900 acres of the bay and fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that previous been damaged by industrialization may not means ensures the bay's environment, since the environment cannot be measured by number of acres. The 1,000 acres of damaged wetlands can not be completely restored, but the environment of the 900 acres of the bay can be thoroughly destroyed. （May be there are some species are dying out）It may result in extinction of some species which can not be (restoration)restored at any price., It is known to everyone that there are something belongs to our nature can never be back once we lost, so is the bay. One day the airport may give us a restored wetland, but it can never return us what they damaged. (说的好)
Secondly, the airport can find other approaches to reduce the flight delays, and build new runways by filling the bay is not the only choice, also not the best way to solve the problem. The airport management made that plan since that it is the way the most they can benefit. Making such decision tells that they don't really care about the environment and they don't have far sight. If Franklin is famous for the beautiful landscape, most travelers flying there to see that the environment is getting worse, the airport may lose their customs.

Thirdly, the local government should adopt such a plan. Considering the current situations, we are not sure the airport having enough money and enough to finish the restoration of 1,000 acres of wet lands. That is to say that, the airport is not really want to be responsible for the fund they are promised. While they are using their capital building new runways, they may have not enough money left to help the restoration of the wetlands, and they would disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. Where can the wildlife habitat if they destroyed the bay they were living? You can imagine the scene that poor birds losing home and getting starved to death. Otherwise, if the airport has enough fund and help restore the wetland. first, the restored place can not be completely fit for the living of the wild lives, and we may lose the tidal patterns forever.

In summary, the plan lacks credibility because the airport focus on the solution of their own problem and does not pay enough attention to the environment. To make a final decision, we need a more detailed responsible plan.

这个写的不错，但是似乎忽略了flight delays也许不是runway少的然因，还有可以有很多原因， 建runway不一定能解决flight delays。

短发mmUID: 2840480

后面没有互动交流阿,有来无回可不好,礼尚往来嘛~