6.16 拍文修改小组 argument 53

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53Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.


In this article, the arguer concluded here that increased levels of melatonin before birth caused shyness , which identified by those survey children themselves, during infancy and shyness continue into their later life. To support this conclusion, the arguer proof many evidence to provide this conclusion,. However, the study sufferers from certain statistical and other problems which render the conclusion.


Firstly, the arguer proof the evidence that the infants’ show just because the increased level of melatonin in the autume during their mother pregnant. However, even sounds credible, the arguer didn’t tell us how about other infants when they exposed to familiar stimuli. As our common sense, many people will be nervous when meet strange thing. And even 25 infant’s show is uncommon, this survey is sill unconvincing. As we know that most of infants will stay in mother’ body during autumn, excet those born in summer,. If the arguer’ conclusion is the truth, most of us is shy. Clearly, this is not the truth.


Secondly, even this is the truth that the sigh of mild distress is uncommom for 25 infants compared with others, the arguer cannot assume this conclusion. The arguer ignored one important affect that hundreds and thousands kinds of
known and unknown hormone in our body which affect our brain. It is possible that another hormone or other several kinds of hormone that caused the 25 infants’ show. Furthermore, the thing caused mild distress, maybe, even not the hormone. There are many factors , such as the mother’ nervous, the pressure, the sadness,
in pregnant, caused the infant’ show. Before the arguer support more information, I can noy accept the assumption that increased levels of melatonin before birth caused shyness.

In addition, there still several other factors that might make the conclusion weakness. Such as the teenagers identified themselves shy, but not by mental test. The arguer told us that most of 25 infants thought themselves shy, however the arguer didn’t tell us that what is the most of 25,13 or 24. Even, we can accept that their self-indentify, we still did not sure that the hormone is the only reason that caused their shyness. What can caused one person shy? In mental research shows that the behavior , the attitude to the world, the mental even there body is closely affected by their experience, the growth , their education. What’s more that the arguer did not tell ue how about other infants who thought they are not shy and reason why.

In sum, the conclusion is unconvincing as it stands. To strength it, the arguer must provide better evidence. To better assess the conclusion, I would need more information comparing the show of 25 studied infants and others, the scientific mental test to show them shy and there experience will not affect, or not the main factor cause them shy. Before proof information I need, I cannot accept this conclusion.