Definitely, a victory 小组第2次作业 Issue16 By Melody

claire530UID: 2363559

16."Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals." ——比较1. 部分同意。真正影响的是人的理念和价值观。
2. 确实会影响发展。从白手起家和富家子弟两方面说
3. 提出是人本身的原因导致，也有身处奢华生活而依然向上的人。白手起家和富家子弟两方面说。
4．结论，因人而异。
I partially agree with the author’s conclusion that to some extent, contemporarily luxuries and conveniences would stand in the way along with which people become stronger and more independent. However, under certain conditions, luxuries and convenience would also attribute to people’s independence. Meanwhile, I would like to point out that the author omitted the fact that it is not the luxuries and conveniences but the concepts and values which have lagged the progress steps.
Just as the author mentioned, luxuries and conveniences would lead people to depravity. As is known to us all, they are two of those most rosy things around the world and numberless of people are chasing for them. They stand for the power, fame, money, and to a certain extent, happiness, which most people are hungry for. The luxurious cars, dazzling suits, and dedicated foods are charming and easily to make people be addicted to, which would ultimately result in the over satisfaction of currency and the lost of themselves, especially for those people who are not born with wealth, yet dedicated the whole life to chasing for a comfortable condition. Once the dreams come true, or even exceed the original expectations, the contrarily different live style would easily lead them to a self-aggrandizement status and stop them from moving forward. The example of James Watt can aptly illustrate this point. It is known to us all that he invented the steam engine when he was young, this huge success was regarded as the hallmark of industrial evolution, and also brought young Watt fame and fortune. Nevertheless, during his autumn, he impeded the development of steam engines by means of suppressing the proposal of new ideas. Meanwhile, as for those people who were born with a silver spoon in the mouths, luxurious and convenient lives can be no more than ordinary that they have already accustomed to the vanity fairs. It seems like there is no need for them to become stronger and independent as their desires always can be satisfied. For example, Luiwig II, the king of Bavaria during 16th century, He disliked large public functions and avoided formal social events whenever possible, and preferred a life of fantasy that he pursued with various creative projects. These idiosyncrasies caused the deposition of his throne and eternal bad reputation. Those examples and evidences prove the fact that sometimes luxury and convenience would indeed result in the depravity of people’s life.
Yet, we ignores the fact that it is not the luxuries or the convenience but the concepts and values formed in it which have lagged the progress of being independent and adamant. A lot of people are within the luxurious surroundings and convenient life conditions but they are as aspirant, independent, and adamant as they used to be. Among those people, some struggled to get the enviable conditions such as Malcolm McLean, who had invented the container and accumulated his fortunes as snowball, while others are benefit from the better-off family property such as Paris Hilton, the granddaughter of the president of Hilton Hotels’ corporation, who has the ambitions to build a fashion kingdom and finally realize it. Their examples reveal a truth that the determinant of personal depravity is not the luxuries or convenient life itself but the concepts and values people hold.
In sum, different people have different life styles. Some people choose to be content with the status quo, while others decide to struggle for the lifestyle they want. To some extent, contemporary luxuries and convenience may somehow influence people’s concepts and values, it may lead people to depravity, or the victory boulevard. However, no matter what kind of role they play, they are not the abetters, but the excuse of our hearts.

GassaUID: 2498402

16."Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences ofcontemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent peoplefrom developing into truly strong and independent individuals." ——比较1. 部分同意。真正影响的是人的理念和价值观。
2. 确实会影响发展。从白手起家和富家子弟两方面说
3. 提出是人本身的原因导致，也有身处奢华生活而依然向上的人。白手起家和富家子弟两方面说。
4．结论，因人而异。
I partially agree with the author’sconclusion that to some extent, contemporarily luxuries and conveniences wouldstand in the way along with which people become stronger and more independent.However, under certain conditions, luxuries and convenience would also attributeto people’s independence. Meanwhile, I would like to point out that the author omittedthe fact that it is not the luxuries and conveniences but the concepts and valueswhich have lagged the progress steps.
Just as the author mentioned, luxuries andconveniences would lead people to depravity. As is known to us all, they are twoof those the most rosy things around theworld and numberless of people are chasing for them. They stand for the power,fame, money, and to a certain extent, happiness, which most people are hungryfor. The luxurious cars, dazzling suits, and dedicated foods are charming and easilyeasy to make people be addicted to to get addictions, which wouldultimately result in the over satisfaction of currency (是要说“安于现状”吗，个人感觉complacency or self-satisfaction更准确) and the （then？） lost of themselves, especially for those people whoare not born with wealth, yet dedicated the whole life to chasing for acomfortable condition. Once the dreams come true, or even exceed the originalexpectations, the contrarily different live style would easily lead them to aself-aggrandizement status and stop them from moving forward. The example ofJames Watt can aptly illustrate this point. It is known to us all that heinvented the steam engine when he was young, this huge success was regarded asthe hallmark of industrial evolution, and also brought young Watt fame andfortune. Nevertheless, during his autumn, he impeded the development of steamengines by means of suppressing the proposal of new ideas. Meanwhile, as forthose people who were born with a silver spoon in the mouths, luxurious and convenientlives can be no more than ordinary that they have already accustomed to thevanity fairs. It seems like there is no need for them to become stronger andindependent as their desires always can be satisfied. For example, Luiwig II(Ludwig II),the king of Bavaria during 16th century, He disliked large publicfunctions and avoided formal social events whenever possible, and preferred alife of fantasy that he pursued with various creative projects. Theseidiosyncrasies caused the deposition of his throne and eternal bad reputation. Those examples and evidences prove the factthat sometimes luxury and convenience would indeed result in the depravity ofpeople’s life.
Yet, we ignores the fact that it is not theluxuries or the convenience but the concepts and values formed in it which havelagged the progress of being independent and adamant. A lot of people arewithin the luxurious surroundings and convenient life conditions but they areas aspirant, independent, and adamant as they used to be. Among those people,some struggled to get the enviable conditions such as Malcolm McLean, who hadinvented the container and accumulated his fortunes as snowball, while othersare benefit from the better-off family property such as Paris Hilton, (个人认为这个例子不合适 Paris Hilton在美国的名声并不好，比较乱的感情生活，开车超速，各种绯闻；快成反例了)the granddaughter of the president ofHilton Hotels’ corporation, who has the ambitions to build a fashion kingdomand finally realize it. Their examples reveal a truth that the determinant ofpersonal depravity is not the luxuries or convenient life itself but the conceptsand values people hold.
In sum, different people have differentlife styles. Some people choose to be content with the status quo, while othersdecide to struggle for the lifestyle they want. To some extent, contemporaryluxuries and convenience may somehow influence people’s concepts and values, itmay lead people to depravity, or the victory boulevard. However, no matter whatkind of role they play, they are not the abetters, but the excuse of ourhearts.

文章整体结构比较清晰，语言也不错。只是觉得个别例子举的优点欠考虑。
我本人语法不好，所以在语法改错上，也许没能调出太多的错误。