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8.17 作文修改啊
From my point of view, telephone has more positive effects than television does. Since telephone greatly influences the way people live and work, while television just serves as the recreational purpose. Compared with television's (limited)finite effects, telephone means a great deal more to human beings. + [* @" O5 I4 _- X7 W/ s
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First of all, the advent of telephone ends the era that people communicate with each other by letter, who at the same time(这句语序有点不对) were so sick of mail’s inefficiency . Before the telephone was invented, people only turned to mail to keep in touch with their relations or friends living in other places. But it was a very long and anxious process. People not only(位置不对,放到句首,再到装) took the trouble to send the letter to the post in person, but also needed to wait a long time for reply. As is well known, people used to spend more than one year expecting a letter from foreign country. however, With the aid of telephone, people are able to communicate with their friends instantly as long as they both have accesses to the phone. Communication via telephone is much more convenient and easy. For example, one of my cousins is studying in the United states. And she uses the telephone to contact with her parents every week to let them know how everything is going there. But what if she is only able to communicate by letter, her parents must be anxious without hearing anything from her for several weeks.; i% A8 O4 f4 _# M+ L; |4 Z
Also, it brings much convenience to people' work.(貌似没有说完,要加一个宾语说清楚啊) people can communicate with their clients without moving. It saves them a lot of time and money. For instance, two hundred years ago, if a businessman want to have a deal with his client living in other city, he has to go to see him in person because letter is not clear and formal. Then he has to spend several days on a business tour, and pay much money for transportation and accommodation. But, with the aid of telephone, he can talk to his client straightforwardly, and discuss every detail very clearly, which look like they are discussing face to face.(时态有误) And the deal would be done in several hours or less. So people benefit a lot form telephone when they work. . g8 Y d3 w, n. }6 X
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Admittedly, Television is a good way to relax. when people are stressed and tired from work, they need to find some ways to relax. Watching television is a good choice. All kinds of interesting programs are available such as talk show, soap opera, and basketball match. People can pick out their favorite ones to enjoy with their family. When men throw themselves into football match or women immerse themselves into soap opera, it seems like all the fatigues and troubles are gone immediately. But television' s effect is limited to recreational area, which makes it less important than telephone. + J( ?5 W3 t3 J
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To sum up, human beings are more influenced by telephone, as upsides of telephone are more than those of television.(最有一段,多说几句)
总体来说,写的内容还行,时态注意一下,同时注意把话说完, |
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