钢炮的作文本

anitaxjaUID：2758421

我很喜欢钢炮同学的写作风格和句式内容啊....虽然这次不是一个小组的，不过727合作过一次，对你的作文印象很不错，所以过来吸取一点精髓嘿嘿~~731作业我觉得也得很好呢~~~

加油咯~

lxg198607UID：2564115

哈哈。。共同加油哦。。。

yylbjUID：2764695

In modern society,  there are many ways in which people get to know foreign countries, such as internet,   newspaper, magazines,  a real trip and so forth. Among these ways,  i insist that a actual trip should be the best way of learning about other countries, despite that newspaper and magazines do have several upsides. 2 R! H/ m6 e3 l& Y4 f
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Admittedly,   there seems several advantages of getting acquaint(好，学习) with other countries through newspapers and magazines.   People may feel comfortable to learn about foreign countries at home, without moving, and without paying for transportation and accommodation. Besides,   editors from these magazines and newspaper,  considered quite knowledgeable and experienced, are able to introduce other countries very concisely and precisely so that readers could have general ideas of these countries within several pages.    However,   compared to real trips,  it still has some downsides that may lead people to see foreign countries less objectively,  and make their "trips" less enjoyable.  这段写的很好，学习一下，呵呵~
The first advantage 应该是disadvantage吧？is that people may be wrong about foreign countries,  as a result of some subjective viewpoints in newspapers and magazines. Although good editors are required to give objective comments on everything they see in foreign countries,   it is true that everyone sees the world in his own perspectives, affected by his own culture,  faith, and politics. Editor is no exception. In this case, they may interpret something incorrectly that they do not understand, and then pass these ideas to their readers. It is unfair to those readers who subscribe to it, in the hope of knowing rightly about the world.  Thus, only if people take a real trip to foreign countries, they could know what other countries are really like.  For example,   there is a passage about Tibet in my favorite travel magazine,   which describes Tibet as the darkest place in the world, where people are deprived of human rights and faiths by Han majority.   I had been convinced until i took a trip to Tibet and found out what magazine said was not true. Actually,  they live in peace with Han majority, and of course they are free to have religion.  Editors might misinterpret it in order to meet some  political needs.  In a word,    a real trip instead of newspapers and magazines is the only way to learn about a foreign countries in an objective way.) l8 e* [3 r* g; K8 G" U7 ?5 g

Secondly, for anyone who want to learn about a foreign country at all stages,    travel on paper is far from enough. Magazines and newspaper help people know generally about other countries. But if they want more details,  they need a real travel there,  straightforward talking to local people, or touching ancient building in person.   All these things get them closer to foreign culture and history .   What is more, a actual trip add to fun in knowing of other countries. reading newspaper or magazines is actually very boring.  There is nothing but words and pictures, on the contrary,  travel has more fun. For example,   when people land in foreign airport, feeling the blast of air from a different climate on their faces, they would have more ideas about the climate of this country.  Also they have pleasure in bargaining with vendors, learning how people there do business.  They buy some souvenirs or specialty food to share memorable trips with their family and friends.  These feelings are nothing like what people get from magazines or paper. Therefore, a real trip is a way in which they have a lot of fun,  as well as learn something.    * Q+ \) v# a2 @  \( X# K  N
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To sum up, i disagree with the statement that people should learn about a foreign country via newspaper and magazines, regardless of its several advantages, which is outweighed by its disadvantages.  virtual travel may bring less fun and distorted views toward foreign countries.

很喜欢你的这篇文章！说理很到位，学习一下，呵呵~

lxg198607UID：2564115

From my point of view, a job that offers me more money is preferable to one that allows me a longer vacation. In most cases,  it is impossible to get big money as well as long vacations at the same time. So i make my choice for a practical reason that as a young man,  my main purpose of this period is to build up a financial foundation to provide my family good lives.  When i save enough money, i may get some days off, even quit my job to enjoy a long vacation.

Admittedly,  no one will deny a job with more vacation. A long period of vacation gives me a change of air for busy schedule.  I can do something i like to do. For example,  i am very fond of climbing. I hope to conquer some challenging mountains with my friends in summer vacation.   However,  Enjoyment always comes with a price. In other words,  something i plan to do in vacation like climbing needs a large amount of money. Because climbing equipments are quite costly, not mention training school is highly paid. And a long vacation does not make any sense,  if i have no money to enjoy my climbing, So that is why i want to look for a highly-paid job in the first place.

Besides,  it is very necessary to form a material foundation at my age. Although money is not everything,   it is really something that i need to support my family. Like most others, i am not from a rich family. So i do not have wealthy parents who are able to give me more money than i need. But my parent are as great as the others in the world, having worked so hard to pay for my intuition. I really want to lift some burdens on them so that they may enjoy their later lives.  A highly- salaried job is a better choice. Besides,  I have been dreaming to buy my girl friend a large house in the downtown. But it is barely going to happen without money. Especially,  in my country,  a big house seems like a prerequisite of marriage.  According to a recent statistics,    it takes an adult ten years to buy a house.  So it is beyond me to afford a house in the short term if i just get a job with low salary.  For both my marriage and people i love, i have to sacrifice a long vacation first.

What is more,   when i save enough money,   i am capable of doing something that i think is very meaningful.  I would donate many books to  those children from poor families. Books might be helpful as is well known that knowledge is most powerful weapon. I hope knowledge would give them good lives in future.  In addition, of course when the day comes that money is no longer a problem,  i may give up my job to dedicate myself to my favorite things.  I am financially able to climb many famous mountains all over world. It will obviously add much memorable experience to my life. So with the help of money,  i have my dreams come true and  enjoy my vacation.

To sum up, i prefer a job with high salary over one with more vacation time. Because, compared to money, vacation is less important. Since money is the cornerstone of a happy life. I also need money to do what i like to do.

anitaxjaUID：2758421

见附件

小囧字UID：2752429

From my point of view, a job that offers me(可以删掉?) more money is preferable to one that allows me a longer vacation.In most cases,  it is impossible to get big money as well as longvacations at the same time. So i make my choice for a practical reason that asa young man,  my main purpose of this period is to build up afinancial foundation to provide my family good lives.  When i saveenough money, i may get some days off, even quit my job to enjoy a longvacation.
" r+ g2 \! Admittedly,  noone will deny a job with more vacation. A long period of vacation gives me achange of air for busy schedule.  I can do something i like to do.For example,  i am very fond of climbing. I hope to conquer somechallenging mountains with my friends in summer vacation.  However,  Enjoyment always comes with a price. In otherwords,  something i plan to do in vacation like climbing needs a largeamount of money. Because climbing equipments are quite costly, not mentiontraining school is highly paid. And a long vacation does not make anysense,  if i have no money to enjoy my climbing, So that is why iwant to look for a highly-paid job in the first place.: j1 r" p" a, L
Besides, it(指谁?) is verynecessary to form a material foundation at my age. Although money is noteverything,   it is really something that i need to support myfamily. Like most others, i am not from a rich family. So i do not have wealthyparents who are able to give me more money than i need.But(转折?) my parents are as great as theothers in the world, having worked so hard to pay for my intuition. I reallywant to lift some burdens on them so that they may enjoy their laterlives.  A highly- salaried job is a better choice.Besides,  I have been dreaming to buy my girl friend a large house inthe downtown. But it is barely going to happen without money.Especially,  in my country,  a big house seems like aprerequisite of marriage.  According to a recent statistics,   it takes an adult ten years to buy a house.  So it is beyondme to afford a house in the short term if i just get a job with lowsalary.  For both my marriage and people i love, i have to sacrificea long vacation first.' m% k& R. y5 o% I' v9 o
What is more,   when i saveenough money,   i am capable of doing something that i think is verymeaningful.  I would donate many books to  those childrenfrom poor families. Books might be helpful as is well known that knowledge ismost powerful weapon. I hope knowledge would give them good lives infuture.  In addition, of course when the day comes that money is nolonger a problem,  i may give up my job to dedicate myself to myfavorite things.  I am financially able to climb many famousmountains all over world. It will obviously add much memorable experience to mylife. So with the help of money,  i have my dreams come trueand  enjoy my vacation.$ X4 x$ z2 c% I8 s& T
To sum up, i prefer a job with high salary over one with more vacation time.Because, compared to money, vacation is less important. Since money is thecornerstone of a happy life. I also need money to do what i like to do.

serena-blueUID：2811284

来踩踩楼主的作文贴，学到了很多东西，多谢啦。。
话说，楼主每次开头的 from my point of view...结尾的to sum up是想作为模板一样，到考场上用吗？

lxg198607UID：2564115

我认为这个不算模板把，就算连接词吧。应该没事吧。。。我认为

lxg198607UID：2564115

From my point of view,  school children at this age are supposed to attend art or music class, which are as important as other subjects such as math ,science, and history.

The first reason why i back up the statement above is that children in this period have strong desire for knowledge. They are interested in anything they see.  For example, my little nephew,  a six-year-old boy, seems to have thousands of questions to ask.  His questions almost cover all areas,  including art and music.  It embarrasses his parents many times  because they know little about art and music.  So if school could teach children art and music,  it would be a good way to appease their curiosity.  They are able to know a lot basic knowledge of music and art.  So music and art class give these children an access to what they want to know.

What is more,  it is a great opportunity to find out their potentials in music and art.  Many gifted children are not aware of what they have got in art and music,  as school do not give them a chance to know. So it is very necessary to have some art and paint class to allow them to know better about themselves.  By doing this,   those gifted children stand out in art or music class.  When their gifts are well known by their teachers or parents, they are encouraged to make a choice by themselves about future. They could take a path as many other people do, being a teacher, a engineer and so on.  Or when they get older, if they are still interested in this field, they could go to the professional schools to train their skills, in the hope of achieve something in future. Who knows? perhaps there will be one or two next Beethoven or vinci in these children

Finally, as we know, playing instrument and drawing are very effective means of relaxation  when adults are stressed and bored. So mastery of some instruments or drawing is necessary when they are young.   I want to take my personal experience for example,  i have been interest in instruments, especially guitar, from the first music class in primary school. I like play guitar everyday. Because it gives me a break from busy study.   Every evening,  after finishing my assignment,   i like to play my electric guitar for a while to relax myself.   I immerse myself into it so much that it seems like all the troubles and fatigue are soon gone.  So several songs make me feel much better, and i am in a good mood to be ready for the tough study of next day. Therefore, children really need to learn to draw or play instruments in their youth, which bring them so much fun in their leisure time.

To sum up, i totally support that children should be asked to study art and music. Since they not only have a chance to know what they can do in these fields, but also find a way to make them happy when they are upset or frustrated.

dandan17UID：2812933

zinccopperUID：2403125

改好啦
同时感谢你对我的修改

lxg198607UID：2564115

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs.  People’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason that part-time jobs bring students money and work experience.  The opponents insist that part-time jobs may call away students’ attentions from study. From my point of view,  part-time jobs are good for university students as long as they can balance well between study and part-time job.

First of all,  It is doubtless that college students are able to benefit financially from part-time jobs. They are paid for their hard work, and money can be well spent on what they need in study, such as books and materials.  Or it is well known that some students are from poor family, and their parents work so hard to pay for their school. taking Part-time job is a good way for them to takes away some burdens on their family.  In addition,  during months of part-time job,  they may know how hard it is to make every penny.  So they could understand why their parents to ask them to make the best of every dollar. Before this,  they are crazy about shopping and buy a lot of staff they never use. Now they may wonder if they really need these things instead.

Besides,  college students gain much work experience from part-time jobs.  Nowadays, many students in university throw themselves into study so deeply that they are out of touch with the society.  Lack of work experience and communication skills, they should not be surprised to be declined by their favorite companies.  So part-time jobs give them a chance to get in touch with outside world.  There are many experienced and knowledgeable workers in the company.  So they could learn a lot from them how to deal with tough problems or an emergency.  Besides,   They may meet with different kinds of people, including colleagues, bosses and clients. For their work,  they would try to keep a healthy relationship with people around them, even some men they do not like.   All these things get them better prepared for further careers. If they want to look for a good job,  professional knowledge are far from enough. Work experience and abilities to do with people are important as well.

Admittedly,  It will not do anything good if students spend too much time on part-times jobs.   After all, their major tasks in universities are obtaining as much knowledge as possible to be ready for future careers. But if they are taking up too much time of working outside,  there might be little time left for study. And because of this, they are too tired to concentrate on classes. Then there is big chance that they will fail too many examinations,  and then be expelled by colleges. That is not their parent and teachers want to see.  So students should do well with study and part-time jobs.

To sum up, Students are supposed to take part-time jobs while they are studying in colleges, so long as they make sure it will not affect their study.  Because they could get a lot of thing they never obtain on campus,  like work experience and money, and have enough time for study at the same time.

高小鱼UID：2714619

收到你的修改意见，非常感谢。我的修改请见附件:D

lxg198607UID：2564115

From my point of view,    i basically agree with the statement above that people show more interest in domestic Movies and TV programs, despite Foreign TV shows and films really have some merits.

Admittedly,   foreign Shows and Movies appear to be appealing, as they present different lives and different characters that people have never seen before.  Take TV shows from United states for example.  In the show, people lead luxurious lives.  They always keep track of the latest fashion trend, and are keen on luxury, such as LV bags and fancy sports car.  Also they are very frank, and just speak what they want. So These foreign TV programs let me know a lot how life is like in United states, as well as how American are like. And I am so interested in great difference between two countries,  considering that people in my country are ready to express in an indirect way and chase simple and harmonious lives.  However, compared to domestic TV shows and films,  products from other countries are still far from being interesting.
i
The first reason is that Local Movies and TV programs are closer to people's lives. It is likely that the scenes in movies or TV programs are just what people have experienced their real lives.  Audiences also seem to be familiar with those characters on the screen, who are just like people around them, such as friends, family, and work associates. For example, my favorite TV shows made in my country is "struggle"  which mainly describes a group of youngsters newly graduating from college triumph over lots of adversities  to  follow their dreams,  and finally achieve what they want.  These stories and characters just arouse an echo in the hearts of almost all teenager audience in my country. Because They are also through the same things. They are striving for their goals. By contrast, those characters in foreign products are mostly high-born from rich families. And they seem to have no such concerns.  Their lives are nothing like ours, which make foreign TV shows less popular in my country.   Thus familiarity first lead people into being more fond of local TV shows or programs than foreign products.

Secondly,  cultural difference may lessen people's interest in foreign products.   As is well known, people see the world in their own perspectives, primarily affected by their values. culture, and experiences. Then it is natural that the blockbusters made in foreign countries are less popular than domestic small-budget films. For example,  People in our country always find it difficulty to understand foreign humors or jokes in the Shows.  The typical example is "growing pains" made in United states. Although it is a good work,  audience in our country still do not understand why foreign audiences sitting down there laugh a lot every episode, in contrast with few laughter when we watch this "interesting" comedy.  Actually,  These fun or jokes are only being got by foreigners or people who fit into that environment.  So culture difference is to blame for foreign products' failure to express precisely to local audience what foreigners think is very fun. That is why foreign products always can not achieve what they expected.  

What is more, there is possibility people' lack of interest in foreign products is the result of lame translation.  Obviously,  only a few audience are good at foreign language, which at least in my country is true,  so they mainly depend on subtitles.   If the translation sucks,  They are not able to get the interesting part at all.

To sum up,  i insist that TV shows and films made in people's own countries are more interesting  as a result of familiarity  and culture difference,    regardless that foreign TV shows or films bring local people much different feelings.

linran0108UID：2864715

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs.  People’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason ...
lxg198607 发表于 2010-8-7 19:50

Nowadays, people pay much attention to a typical phenomenon that a growing number of college students take part-time jobs.  [url=]People[/url][o1] ’ opinions are different from individual. Some back up for the reason that part-time jobs bring students money and work experience.  The opponents insist that part-time jobs may call away students’ attentions from study. From my point of view,  part-time jobs are good for university students as long as they can balance well between study and part-time job.

First of all,  It is doubtless that college students are able to benefit financially from part-time jobs. They are paid for their hard work, and money can be well spent on what they need in study, such as books and materials.  Or it is well known that some students are from poor family, and their parents work so hard to pay for their school. taking Part-time job is a good way for them to takes away some burdens on their family.  In addition,  during months of part-time job,  they may know how hard it is to make every penny.  So they could understand why their parents[url=] to [/url][o2] ask them to make the best of every dollar. Before this,  they are crazy about shopping and buy a lot of staff they never use. Now they may wonder if they really need these things instead.

Besides,  college students gain much work experience from part-time jobs.  Nowadays, many students in university throw themselves into study so deeply that they are out of touch with the society.  Lack of work experience and communication skills, they should not be surprised to be declined by their favorite companies.  [url=]So[/url][o3] part-time jobs give them a chance to get in touch with outside world.  There are many experienced and knowledgeable workers in the company.  So they could learn a lot from them how to deal with tough problems or an [url=]emergency[/url][o4] .  Besides,   They may meet with different kinds of people, including colleagues, bosses and clients. For their work,  they would try to keep a healthy relationship with people around them, even some men they do not like.   All these things[url=] get[/url][o5] them better prepared for further careers. If they want to look for a good job,  professional knowledge are far from enough. Work experience and abilities to do with people are important as well. ' K!
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Admittedly,  It will not do anything good if students spend too much time on part-times jobs.   After all, their major tasks in universities are [url=]obtaining[/url][o6] as much knowledge as possible to be ready for future careers. But if they are[url=] taking up[/url][o7] too much time of working outside,  there might be little time left for study. And because of this, they are too tired to concentrate on classes. Then there is big chance that they will fail too many examinations,  and then be expelled by colleges.[url=] That is not their parent and teachers want to see.[/url][o8]   So students should do well with study and part-time jobs. " a, q5 z- |( p2 j# k* O$ C
7 |8 To sum up, Students are supposed to take part-time jobs while they are studying in colleges, so long as they make sure it will not affect their study.  Because they could get a lot of thing they never obtain on campus,  like work experience and money, and have enough time for study at the same time.

首先，字数太多了···586，这个不是30分钟能写出来的吧？
思路很好。大小写有些问题。。

[o1]People’s



[o2]需要么？应该省掉吧



[o3]However



[o4]用复数吧，跟前面统一



[o5]Force or push



[o6]我觉得用to obtain好一些



[o7]可以这么用？



[o8]读起来很连贯，但是仔细看，似乎有语法问题。。加一个what在not 后面吧。