欢迎拍作文小组----issue 51

crazyjooUID: 2805124

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 626         


Would you like to have class which is specially designed to meet your need? Most of people, including the speaker, would say yes without hesitation. In most case, I concede that such strategy would benefit the students' personal development, however, over emphasized on individual needs would be counterproductive to education.
Over nations and history, it has characterized education as a means of establishing correct value system, teaching practical living skills, and more importantly, preparing eligible citizenry for society. In my observation, today's truly effective education is a sort of education which is aimed to endow students with the ability to learn as well as the desire to learn. Lifelong study, which is based on the desire for learning, is crucial for everyone since we are living in a complex and rapid changing society. No longer can one person who focus in one academic discipline, and is unwilling to know many other things, meet today's demand. No longer can one student who lose the desire to learn  any new things after his graduation, avoid being left behind. In other words, to find out where the students' interest lie and try to incite their desire for learning is the very right thing ,which effective education should manifest.

It is not uncommon to see that  the traditional teacher-centered teaching prevailing today  impede the development of education, considering its ignorance of the students' need and individual interest cultivation. One apt illustration of this point involves the winners of disciplines Olympics competition. In China, students who win  a golden medal in such competitions can advance to undergraduate study directly without any university or college entrance exam---a grueling task for most Chinese high school students. Paradoxically, most of these elites refuse to choose the discipline which bring them honor and "effortless" matriculation as major. Why this strange thing happen? Weren't they interest in these discipline? If so, how could one person do a great achievement in the boring discipline as he or her regard? In fact, the true answers to this paradox lie in their high school ,where teachers ignore the student's individual interest and pour knowledge into them in the purpose of chasing reputation, such as "the award of the best teacher in the 2009", "the award of the teacher who cultivates the most winners of discipline Olympics competition" and so forth. As a result, these elites gradually lose their original desire for the discipline because the learning process is becoming a chasing for reputation rather than a exploration for truth. Understandably, this sort of education is ineffective and it risks preventing a real talent from being a Nobel Prize winner. And it is possible due to this very reason that China has not got a Nobel Prize winner yet.
However, over emphasized on interests of each students would make things move in the opposite direction. Since a school's curriculum is designed by educational experts who are trained to deal with such things. Thus, it is impolitic to revise the curriculum in order to cater the students since students have not got a clear notion of education and do not know what they should learn. It is easy to imagine how chaotic and ridiculous a school would be when all the boys refuse to attend the arts class for its abstractness and all the girls refuse to learn math for its complexity. In addition, the opportunity cost of this strategy is significant in the terms of how the money will be applied to extracurricular activities, scientific research, improvement of facilities and so forth.
In sum, the speaker correctly assert that effective education should take interests of each student  as concern. Otherwise, people's desire for learning would be ruined by the ignorance of individual needs. Accordingly, on balance the speaker is fundamental correct.

crazyjooUID: 2805124

说要正反论述，不过我写不了这么多了。。。不然就6段了。缺少正面论述会不会觉得少了呢

echo23loveUID: 2802443

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 626         

Would you like to have class which is specially designed to meet your need? Most of people, including the speaker, would say yes without hesitation. In most case, I concede that such strategy would benefit the students' personal development, however, over emphasized on individual needs would be counterproductive to education.这段简单明了，引人入胜，开头很流畅
Over nations and history,这个表达有点奇怪 it has characterized education as a means of establishing correct value system, teaching practical living skills, and more importantly, preparing eligible citizenry for society. In my observation, today's truly effective education is a sort of education which is aimed to endow students with the ability to learn as well as the desire to learn. Lifelong study, which is based on the desire for learning, is crucial for everyone since we are living in a complex and rapid changing society. No longer can one person who focus in one academic discipline, and is unwilling to know many other things, meet today's demand. No longer can one student who lose the desire to learn  any new things after his graduation, avoid being left behind. In other words, to find out where the students' interest lie and try to incite their desire for learning is the very right thing ,which effective education should manifest. 此段例子不错，指的是学习更重要的是学到能力，如果能结合例子应该更好，个人认为你应该强调这一段，因为你的观点大部分属于认同，但是你却过分笔墨在于错误的教育方式上了。
It is not uncommon to see that  the traditional teacher-centered teaching prevailing today  impede the development of education, considering its ignorance of the students' need and individual interest cultivation. One apt illustration of this point involves the winners of disciplines Olympics competition. In China, students who win  a golden medal in such competitions can advance to undergraduate study directly without any university or college entrance exam---a grueling task for most Chinese high school students. Paradoxically, most of these elites refuse to choose the discipline which bring them honor and "effortless" matriculation as major. Why this suchstrange thing happen? Weren't they interest in these discipline? If so, how could one person do a great achievement in the boring discipline as he or her regard? In fact, the true answers to this paradox lie in their high school ,where teachers ignore the student's individual interest and pour knowledge into them in the purpose of chasing reputation, such as "the award of the best teacher in the 2009", "the award of the teacher who cultivates the most winners of discipline Olympics competition" and so forth. As a result, these elites gradually lose their original desire for the discipline because the learning process is becoming a chasing for reputation rather than a exploration for truth. Understandably, this sort of education is ineffective and it risks preventing a real talent from being a Nobel Prize winner. And it is possible due to this very reason that China has not got a Nobel Prize winner yet. 感觉过于强调这段字数了，题目关键词是effective，但是这段感觉是以前的教育如何背离effective的，似乎笔墨过重了。而且出现在这里不太恰当，因为你始终没有给作者观点以肯定，除了开头的设问和结尾的同意，并没有给出同意关于个人化教育的例子以及论断。
However, over emphasized on interests of each students would make things move in the opposite direction. Since a school's curriculum is designed by educational experts who are trained to deal with such thingswhat thing?指代不明. Thus, it is impolitic to revise the curriculum in order to cater the students since students have not got a clear notion of education and do not know what they should learn. It is easy to imagine how chaotic and ridiculous a school would be when all the boys refuse to attend the arts class for its abstractness and all the girls refuse to learn math for its complexity. In addition, the opportunity cost of this strategy is significant in the terms of how the money will be applied to extracurricular activities, scientific research, improvement of facilities and so forth. 此段例子说服力不强，你把男女过于相对化了，all的例子使这段缺乏证据，有喜欢艺术的男生，也有逻辑非常好的女生。
In sum, the speaker correctly assert that effective education should take interests of each student  as concern. Otherwise, people's desire for learning would be ruineddamaged by the ignorance of individual needs. Accordingly, on balance the speaker is fundamental correct.感觉最后的总结有点草草收尾。题目中有个only when 是不是可以抓住这一点呢？你的结构基本是同意，反例，最后表述同意但对个性教育的要求不能过分，但是感觉此题的切入点 似乎可以更广些。本人观点，欢迎讨论