fd笑笑的作文贴

chikako.kUID: 2853696

30# fd笑笑 Nowadays, it is widely acknowledged that televisionhas become an essential part in people’s life as well as telephone. When itcomes to the issue which of them has more effects on human’s life, I vote forthe argument that television has changed people’s life in many aspects, such asthe way which we get information from, the activities that we do in our leisuretime.First effect I like to mention is theemergence of television alters the way which we get information.（觉得应该是the first effect I’d like to mention is that theemergence of television alters the way we get information ) Before theera of information, people acquire information about what happened to the worldfrom tedium words and dormantpictures on the newspaper andmagazines. The main disadvantage of this kind of media is that people alwaysget to know the information about what happened a few days ago. Fortunately, television provides up-to-data information as well as in amore vivid way.（as well as 前后成分不一致）Information is showed not only in the literal form but also in a kineticpictorial form. In addition, people could get information immediately and watchlive shows or games. Except the portable access—newspaper, people have anextra fast and vivid option—television. Therefore, television makes bothinformation and our lives more vividly.
Second aspect worth mentioning is that televisionenrich people’s leisure time. In ancient times without television, activitiesthat people could do are every few, such as chatting or playing porker.However, Diversity is the joy of life. With television, people could watchwhatever films or programs they like without any limitation because that allkind of programs are provided in any time, like educational program, live gameshows, series of TV plays. Thus, life coupled with television is diverse,diverse and wonderful.
Coupled with good effects mentioned above, there alsois a side effect. Admittedly, it is true thatcriminals, violence and sex pervade（直接加宾语，去掉in)in some TVprograms, which have bad influence on people, especially for children.Whereas, we should prevent the bad influence.
To sum up, no matter good or bad effect that thetelevision gives
us, it is fairly to say that television has moreeffect on human beings.
句式丰富多变，段落衔接自然，让我学到好多～^^
尽力找错，水平有限，如有不当，请多包涵

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

8月19日作文

bruce520UID: 2634940

个人意见，敬请回拍

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

8月24日交+ O- [4 p/ p/ p7 g
（09.01.23NA）
Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? Young people should try several different jobs before theytake a long term career.

As the competition of job hunting become more andmore intense, some people state that trying several different jobs makes peoplemore competitive because people get varied experience from different jobs. Onthe other hand, a majority of younger people prefer to do a job stably for along term career. I believe that the latter is much wiser.
First of all, individuals maybe steady persons withtheir feet on the ground when they do a job for a long time. People always saythat a person's reactions can reflect his/her personality. I believe that is tosay, a person trying several different jobs must be an absent-minded and fickleperson who may not be offered a vital job. On the contrary, if a person focuson one job, he/she might be a reliable person who could shoulder criticaltasks. Therefore, staying at one job could help people form sound personality.
Coupled with better personality, individuals can dofurther study and have more achievements on one field. A person who switch jobsa lot takes time to think about how to get a different job rather than study onhis/her own field. There is an old saying in China that there are three hundredand sixty trades, and every trade has its own master. That is, people who puttheir feet in one field concentrate on their own jobs can be successful. Furthermore,people could feel more sense of achievement when they focus on one job.
Last but not least, for the sake of salary andstatus, it is better to have a job for a long time. In some extent, how muchthe salary is depends on the length of service, which means the longer youserve the much wage you attain. According to this standard, never can a newemployee earn high salary. In addition, a senior employee have moreopportunities to be promoted because employers have faith in them rather thanpersons who just enter the company and senior employee get more respect.
All in all, considering a sound personality,acquiring more achievements and higher salary and status, under the intenselycompetitive situation, it is much sagacious to choose doing a steady job for along time.

S酱UID: 2883188

35# fd笑笑

改完的～本人才疏学浅 请多包涵

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

我没法附件，只能把变动的地方用红色标记了，具体怎么情况你自己对着原文看吧。

个人拙见，请包涵~




As the competition of job hunting become more andmore intense, some people state that trying several different jobs makes peoplemore competitive because people get varied experience from different jobs. Onthe other hand, a majority of younger people prefer to do a job stably for along term career. I believe that the latter is much wiser.
First of all, individuals maybe steady persons withtheir feet on the ground when they do a job for a long time. People always saythat a person's reactions can reflect his/her personality. I believe that is tosay, a person trying several different jobs more likely is an absent-minded andfickle person who may not be deserved a vital job. On the contrary, if a personfocus on one job, he/she might be a reliable person who could shoulder criticaltasks. Therefore, staying at one job could help people form sound personality.
Coupled with better personality, individuals can dofurther study and have more achievements on one field. A person who switchesjobs a lot spend times on thinking about how to get a different job rather thanon studying on his/her own field. There is an old saying in China thatthere are three hundred and sixty trades, and every trade has its own master.That is, people who put their feet in one field concentrate on their own jobscan be successful. Furthermore, people could gain more sense of achievementwhen they focus on one job.
Last but not least, for the sake of salary andstatus, it is better to have a job for a long time. In some extent, how muchthe salary largely depends on the length of service, which means the longer youserve the much wage you attain. According to this standard, never can a newemployee earn high salary. In addition, a senior employee have moreopportunities to be promoted because employers have faith in them rather thanpersons who just enter the company, and senior employee get more respect.
All in all, considering a sound personality,acquiring more achievements and higher salary and status, under the intenselycompetitive situation, it is much sagacious to choose doing a steady job for along time.

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

8月26日交
(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the bestways to learn about a foreign country？

In the time of quickened globalization,the world which seems extremely large is becoming a small village. Nowadays,people learn about foreign countries through all kind of different media, suchas internet, televisions, newspapers and magazines. Some people argue that thenewspapers and magazines are the best way to learn about foreign countries,however, as for as I am concerned, I vote for internet for the followingreasons.
The first reason to support my view isthat as a large store system of information, internet provides a plenty of highquality of resources. It is a wonderful access to get to know all aspects offoreign countries, such as culture, traditional, education, economy, politicsand diet preference. For example, recently, I found that the Yale Universityprovides several opening courses on the internet aiming that people all overthe world could get be better cultivated. By watching these courses I learned alot form foreign education and firm my decision that I should go abroad to dofurther studies. Therefore, the quality of information on the newspaper andmagazines can not compare with those on the internet.
Coupled with high quality information,the second reason is that internet provides the latest news of foreigncountries. The news on the internet is up dated instantly. For example, duringthe 2010 World Cup, people who were not in South Africa can watch footballgame at the same time with local people through internet and they know thelatest score. On the contrary, the information about game score on thenewspapers or magazines published on the next day is too late for big fans.
Finally,internet provides more vivid and colorful information than newspapers andmagazines. Internet not only provides words and pictures but also videos andsounds. For instance, a person can by no means learn a foreign language wellwithout speaking and listening. Individuals can talk with foreign friendsthrough internet and promote their foreign languages.
To sum up, although newspapers and magazines isthe most popular way to attain information, internet is the best way to learnabout foreign countries for the three reasons above. 以前小组出过一模一样的题目，写过。此次第二遍，略有改动。

woshixiaozUID: 2889514

1

zcnvszwjUID: 2815734

In the time of quickened globalization, the world which seems extremely large is becoming a small village. （这里最好加一句解释，解释地球村与文章主题的关系）Nowadays, people learn about foreign countries through all kind of different media, such as internet, televisions, newspapers and magazines. Some people argue that the newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about foreign countries, however, as for as I am concerned,（这句不推荐，因为它翻译成中文为“与吾多年之沉思”，显得古老而不切实际） I vote for internet because of the following reasons.
The first explanation to support my view is that as a large store system of information, internet provides a plenty of high quality of resources. It is a wonderful access to know all aspects of foreign countries, such as culture, tradition, education, economy, politics and diet preference(节食偏好？实际上我真的不懂这个短语). For example, recently, I found that the Yale University provides several opening courses on the internet aiming that people all over the world could get a better cultivation. By watching these courses I learned a lot from foreign education and firm my decision of staying abroad for further studies. on the other hand, the quality of information on the newspaper and magazines can’t compare with that on the internet, since (来句解释).; G  X5 `: i8
Coupled with high quality information, the second course is that internet provides the latest news of foreign countries. The news on the internet is up dated instantly. For example, during the 2010 World Cup, people who were not in South Africa can watch football game at the same time with local people through internet and they know the latest score. On the contrary, the information about game score on the newspapers or magazines published on the next day is too late for big fans.（个人很喜欢这个足球的例子）
Finally, internet provides more vivid and colorful information than newspapers and magazines. Internet not only provides words and pictures but also videos and sounds. For instance, a person can by no means learn a foreign language well without speaking and listening. Individuals can talk with foreign friends through internet and promote their foreign languages. this will guarantee her of his linguistic development.
To sum up, although newspapers and magazines is the most popular way to attain information, internet is the best way to learn about foreign countries for the three reasons above.
1、        第一段有点四六级的感觉，战略而宏观，可以尽量细化，比如举点个人的例子；
2、        中间三段的分层一般，但几个例子非常不错；
3、        词语和短语的替换欠佳；
4、        最后一段给人以戛然而止的感觉，应该可以再加点个人的想法，当然表决心表愿景的除外。

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

40# zcnvszwj 恩，谢谢你的修改，很负责。
diet preference 是饮食偏好的意思。

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

8.28快考试了，很紧张。。。。。
用时40分钟。。。。
辛苦批改的同学！

bbliangUID: 2604466

42# fd笑笑

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

又是写过的题，重新修改，重写。

风起云落UID: 2833888

8月31日交
09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.


Nowadays it is widely acknowledged that art and music are of profound significance in people’s life, with（for） both children and adults （who）are better cultivated. However, some parents show great concern over the negative impacts of teaching younger school children art and music. As far as I am concerned, it is by no means bad that younger school children are required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language, but benefits children's development in many aspects.

The first reason to support my view is as a famous person say that diversity is the joy of life. Art and music, to some extent, which require emotional thoughts, are different from math and science, which require rational thoughts. They express the world with lines, shapes colors and tones instead of tedium numbers and words. It is no exaggeration（感觉很别扭……not exaggerate？） to say that children are more interested in colorful art and music than boring numbers and words. On the other hand, if children get tired of involving math and science, they can enjoy themselves in melodies and colors to relax. Therefore, art and music can help children enjoy life better.

The second reason worth mentioning is art and music are benefit to children's mental development. It is fairly clear that classic paintings and music chapter can purify people's mind, similarly, for children's soul. Some people say that music and art are universal language. That means all human beings can understand them and may have common sense on it. Thus, sometimes we can smooth children with beautiful melodies and paintings to treat their wound on（in？） mind. So, art and music contribute to children's mental development.


Finally, the nature is an integral whole, including math, science, art and music. Therefore, we are not allowed to(should not好一点吧
主被动的问题) split them up. A child who study art and music may has a better understanding of（on） history or science than the others who do not. This is probably because artists always choose important political issue as the motif of their works. So, if seeing（have seen?语法忘了……） the art work before, the child may remember it quickly and know the issue better.

To sum up, requiring younger children to study music and art does more good than harm. With the different form from math and science, art and music enrich children's life and help them get better mental development, as well as benefit their study of other subjects.

第一次点评，不好的地方多担待>.<
条理很好，说的也明白。
我热爱你的句子结构……