Issue51 教育问题推翻重写14楼 倒计时9天求改有改必回！

追梦小木耳UID: 2781857

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student

不同意。承认满足每个学生需求的教育一定程度上是有效的。但是教育不仅是为了让学生学知识掌握技能，教育是为了培养学生独立思考的能力，帮助他们形成正确的价值观。
（1）承认针对个人的教育是有用的，可以不必浪费时间学习不喜欢的东西；主动学习，有激情
（2）大众教育是有用的。比如学习同一个专业的同学可以根据自己的需要选择不同的课程，有不同的发展方向。针对个人的教育无方让他们了解其他领域，无法认识自己最适合将来干什么
(3)有效的教育应是培养学生思考、自学的能力，建立正确的价值观。有些受过高等教育的人却会犯罪，没有正确的价值观

Word 603

It is true that education designed to meet every single student’s needs and interests can be effective. While, there also exists other forms of education which are effective and successful since the purpose of education is not limited to imparting knowledge, but also includes training independent thinking and assisting students to form values

Admittedly, every student would benefit a lot from education designed specifically for his own needs. In this case, the person would be trained to do what he likes and it seems no other courses could distract him, which could be a waste of time. Besides, as the interest can be the best teacher, students would study actively and passionately. This appears to be an effective education since it accounts for the personalities of each student.

However, education will be equally effective when it is general and suits for most students. General education could provide chances for students to know about various fields, which helps them recognize which areas are most suitable. We may cite a simple example of college education, during the first two years of which, students of the same major are required to study basic courses. Despite wide complains about these courses, many students actually realize where their potential abilities lie from the basic knowledge, and accordingly, they choose the major courses and future directions. Thus, general education may have ignored every individual’s personality, but it helps students choose what is most suitable for their potential ability, which turns out to be effective. On the other hand, even if personal education is specific, it is still imprudent to receive this kind of education merely taking into consideration the interests and needs. One may study what he needs and has interest in with satisfaction, but would never know there inhere other areas that can trigger his enthusiasm. In this situation, the personal education does not enjoy much advantage of effectiveness as compared with general education.

As a matter of fact, truly effective education should be the kind which focuses on training independent thinking and the construction of students’ value system. As the soaring development of society, knowledge and information are updated within very short period of time. The circumstances indicate that students ought to master the method of private study in order to keep informed and knowledgeable after leaving school, instead of sticking to only what they are taught at school. Therefore, the ability of independent thinking plays a significant role, which enables a person to keep exploring, questioning and expressing himself fearlessly, rather than always follows others’ suggestions and instructions. In addition, education should help students establish their own value system, to tell right from wrong. This advocates a student to be socialized and avoid being misled. Unfortunately, high education often puts too much emphasis on students’ ability to study, and ignores this point, leading to ineffective use of knowledge. World is filled with such examples as high technology crime. Hackers, who are usually intelligent with computer techniques, are reported to commit crimes by stealing people’s private messages via the Internet and then threatening to make it public unless the victims pay large fortune. Even if the criminals were trained to be professional at their area, they failed to establish valuable principle and conscience.

Overall, it is controversial to define specifically designed education as the only effective kind. General education could be also effective since it helps a student figure out in which area his potential ability lie. Although, if the education lacks the training of independence thinking and fails to help students construct his value system, it could hardly be effective no matter how specific it is.

gtjohnUID: 2813321

It is true that education designed to meet every single student’s needs and interests can be effective. While, there also exists other forms of education which are effective and successful since the purpose of education is not limited to imparting knowledge, but also includes training independent thinking and assisting students to form values.
[开头写得还是很简洁直接的。点出下文要谈论的两个方面]

Admittedly, every student would benefit a lot from education designed specifically for his own needs. In this case, the person would be trained to do what he likes and it seems no other courses could distract him, which could be a waste of time. Besides, as the interest can be the best teacher, students would study actively and passionately. This appears to be an effective education since it accounts for the personalities of each student.
[教育对个人负责]

However, education will be equally effective when it is general and suits for most students. General education could provide chances for students to know about various fields, which helps them recognize which areas are most suitable. We may cite a simple example of college education, during the first two years of which, students of the same major are required to study basic courses. Despite wide complains about these courses, many students actually realize where their potential abilities lie from the basic knowledge, and accordingly, they choose the major courses and future directions. Thus, general education may have ignored every individual’s personality, but it helps students choose what is most suitable for their potential ability, which turns out to be effective. On the other hand, even if personal education is specific, it is still imprudent to receive this kind of education merely taking into consideration the interests and needs. One may study what he needs and has interest in with satisfaction, but would never know there inhere [in] other areas that can trigger his enthusiasm. In this situation, the personal education does not enjoy much advantage of effectiveness as compared with general education.
[这段还是蛮好，但是general education的作用是让学生知道什么是最适合的而已么，那么假设学生说，好我知道了。那么我不要学别的了，就学我感兴趣的吧。大学前两年的basic course一般是专业基础课，无关你要表达的general。]

As a matter of fact, truly effective education should be the kind which focuses on training independent thinking and the construction of students’ value system. As the soaring development of society, knowledge and information are updated within very short period of time. The circumstances indicate that students ought to master the method of private study in order to keep informed and knowledgeable after leaving school, instead of sticking to only what they are taught at school. Therefore, the ability of independent thinking plays a significant role, which enables a person to keep exploring, questioning and expressing himself fearlessly, rather than always follows others’ suggestions and instructions. In addition, education should help students establish their own value system, to tell right from wrong. This advocates a student to be socialized and avoid being misled. Unfortunately, high education often puts too much emphasis on students’ ability to study, and ignores this point, leading to ineffective use of knowledge. World is filled with such examples as high technology crime. Hackers, who are usually intelligent with computer techniques, are reported to commit crimes by stealing people’s private messages via the Internet and then threatening to make it public unless the victims pay large fortune. Even if the criminals were trained to be professional at their area, they failed to establish valuable principle and conscience.
[这段的内容不是太赞同，独立思考和价值系统跟满足学生需要和兴趣的教育似乎是不矛盾的。某一个领域类的知识也是非常多的，把时间浪费在什么都看会不会不合理？issue的关键词only这段没有体现出来，而且一直在举high education的例子，说的也太绝对了。高校当然不仅仅关注学生能力只不过其他可能没做好。后面黑客也不是太赞同，计算机自学就可以搞搞了，不用上学的，比如熊猫烧香那哥们。]

Overall, it is controversial to define specifically designed education as the only effective kind. General education could be also effective since it helps a student figure out in which area his potential ability lie. Although, if the education lacks the training of independence thinking and fails to help students construct his value system, it could hardly be effective no matter how specific it is.

[这篇文章写得很流畅，看着还是比较舒服的。结构上也安排的不错，想表达的也表达出来了。提几个建议1. 例子一直在举college education不是太好。2. 这里的education感觉危害应该对小孩更大一些，因为早期没有判断力或者其他什么。大了知道自己要什么了，满足兴趣和需求的还是蛮好的，比现在高校学一些不知道干嘛的要强。]

欢迎互改...共同消灭0回复 -___-||
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118662-1-1.html

追梦小木耳UID: 2781857

2# gtjohn

不能完全接受你的质疑~当然很可能是我表达不清楚
我说genenral education 是表示针对性教育是不是唯一有效的教育。
大众教育让大家了解各个领域，以便广泛发掘兴趣和潜力。比如我现在学的专业和我高中学的数理化完全没关系，但是不能说那些没用吧。通过了解那些知识我知道我适合学什么，我对什么有兴趣。
然后我自己定义了到底什么是最有效的教育，也就是说符合这个定义的教育都是有效的教育，那么就不局限于针对性教育还是大众教育了。黑客虽然不一定是学校教育的结果，也是自学的结果，也是教育的问题啊。只学会了怎么学习，但没有良知，这就是教育的失败啊，这里的教育包括学校、家庭等等吧。

但十分感谢你提意见哈！

gtjohnUID: 2813321

我说genenral education 是表示针对性教育是不是唯一有效的教育。

因为有一个题是general education和specialized education(应该没拼错吧)，所以你举到general我就联想到是不是你把这篇issue所讲的作为specialized所以觉得有点不太一样。。。我写的时候也默认了学生学的时候会偏科，万一有这样一个什么都有兴趣要学的小孩怎么办。。。偏了偏了

大众教育让大家了解各个领域，以便广泛发掘兴趣和潜力。比如我现在学的专业和我高中学的数理化完全没关系，但是不能说那些没用吧。

这个没错的，所以觉得举了大学基础课的例子不是你想表达的意思。

黑客那个你说的对，那人至少上过小学的。。。

kiralovelyUID: 2363419

占楼，晚上来改。

maraschino1985UID: 2846549

Admittedly, every student would benefit a lot from education designed specifically for his own needs. In this case, the person would be trained to do what he likes and it seems no other courses could distract him, which could be a waste of time. Besides, as the interest can be the best teacher, students would study actively and passionately. This appears to be an effective education since it accounts for the personalities of each student. （最后句有点多余）
我觉得因材施教和兴趣还是稍有不同。。。
However, education will be equally effective when it is general and suits for most students. General education could provide chances for students to know about various fields, which helps them recognize which areas are most suitable. We may cite a simple example of college education, during the first two years of which, students of the same major are required to study basic courses. Despite wide complains about these courses, many students actually realize where their potential abilities lie from the basic knowledge(删 the basic knowledge), and accordingly, they choose the major courses and future directions. Thus, general education may have ignored every individual’s personality, but it helps students choose what is most suitable for their potential ability, which turns out to be effective（觉得这个逻辑有点牵强）. On the other hand, even if personal education is specific, it is still imprudent to receive this kind of education merely taking into consideration the interests and needs. One may study what he needs and has interest in with satisfaction, but would never know there inhere other areas that can trigger his enthusiasm. In this situation, the personal education does not enjoy（enjoy我觉得在这里不妥） much advantage（s） of effectiveness as compared with general education.
这段我总觉得展开不够。。说来说去就是“能够给学生扩大更多选择—所以有效”，但是这个逻辑怎么构成的可能还要再多说点。比方工作需求啊

As a matter of fact, truly effective education should be the（a） kind （感觉kind用的有点怪）which focuses on training independent thinking and the construction of students’ value system. As the soaring development of society, knowledge and information are updated within very short period of time. The circumstances indicate that students ought to master the method of private study in order to keep informed and knowledgeable after leaving school, instead of sticking to only what they are taught at school. Therefore, the ability of independent thinking plays a significant role, which enables a person to（删to） keep exploring, questioning and expressing himself fearlessly, rather than always follows others’ suggestions and instructions. In addition, education should help students establish their own value system, to tell right from wrong. This advocates a student to be socialized (advocate sicialized我觉得没联系)and avoid being misled. Unfortunately, high education often puts too much emphasis on students’ ability to study, and ignores this point, leading to ineffective use of knowledge. World is filled with such（such啥的。。。有点突兀） examples as high technology crime. Hackers, who are usually intelligent with computer techniques, are reported to commit crimes by stealing people’s private messages via the Internet and then threatening to make it public（threaten to make money） unless the victims pay large fortune. Even if the criminals were trained to be professional at their area, they failed to establish valuable principle and conscience.
Overall, it is controversial to define specifically designed education as the only effective kind. General education could be also effective since it helps a student figure out in which area his potential ability lie. Although, if the education lacks the training of independence thinking and fails to help students construct his value system（hacker的value system也是system，应该是对社会有益的）, it could hardly be effective（这个好像跟有效无关了。。。） no matter how specific it is.


应该是你计时写的吧 感觉和之前的文章文字不同。这篇口语很多
感觉有的地方逻辑欠考虑。。。

figuechenUID: 2850619

修改稿，另外写了一篇同题的，恳请LZ互改，贴在楼下

It is true that education designed to meet every single student’s needs and interests can be effective. While, there also exists other forms of education which are effective and successful since the purpose of education is not limited to imparting knowledge, but also includes training independent thinking and assisting students to form values
[我觉得有点点问题，因为因材施教也能培养独立思考的精神啊，因材施教不等于就不通识了。]
Admittedly, every student would benefit a lot from education designed specifically for his own needs. In this case, the person
[student貌似更好一些？]would be trained to do what he likes and it seems no other courses could distract him, which could be a waste of time. Besides, as the interest can be the best teacher, students would study actively and passionately. This appears to be an effective education since it accounts for the personalities of each student.
[好长的让步。。。但基本把意思表达清楚了]
However, education will be equally effective when it is general and suits for most students. General education could provide chances for students to know about various fields, which helps them recognize which areas are most suitable.[the areas that suit them best] We may cite a simple example of college education, during the first two years of which, students of the same major are required to study basic courses. Despite wide complains about these courses, many students actually realize where their potential abilities lie from the basic knowledge, and accordingly, they choose the major courses and future directions. Thus, general education may have ignored every individual’s personality, but it helps students choose what is most suitable for their potential ability, which turns out to be effective. On the other hand, even if personal education is specific, it is still imprudent to receive this kind of education merely taking into consideration the interests and needs. One may study what he needs and has interest in with satisfaction, but would never know there inhere other areas that can trigger his enthusiasm. In this situation, the personal education does not enjoy much advantage of effectiveness as compared with general education.
[这段的例证感觉不是太有说服力，主要是大学的前两年基础课其实也是为专业课服务的，并不是一般意义上的通识教育。而且大学这个例子太special了，教育是个很宽泛的概念啊]
As a matter of fact, truly effective education should be the kind which focuses on training independent thinking and the construction of students’ value system. As the soaring development of society, knowledge and information are updated within very [very太口语了，换个词吧]short period of time. The circumstances indicate that students ought to master the method of private study in order to keep informed and knowledgeable after leaving school, instead of sticking to only what they are taught at school. Therefore, the ability of independent thinking plays a significant role, which enables a person to keep exploring, questioning and expressing himself fearlessly, rather than always follows
[to follow]others’ suggestions and instructions. In addition, education should help students establish their own value system, to tell right from wrong. This advocates a student to be socialized and avoid being misled. Unfortunately, high education often puts too much emphasis on students’ ability to study, and ignores this point, leading to ineffective use of knowledge. [呃，这个情况美国也有么？如果是中国的例子还是说明一下的好。我个人觉得美国的教育还是很讲究独立思考的。。。]World is filled with such examples as high technology crime. Hackers, who are usually intelligent with computer techniques, are reported to commit crimes by stealing people’s private messages via the Internet and then threatening to make it public unless the victims pay large fortune. Even if the criminals were trained to be professional at their area, they failed to establish valuable principle and conscience.[这个例子最好加一些说明，因为之前你在论述教育是要培养独立思考精神的，但这个例子说明的是价值观培养的重要性，两个点还是有区别的，可以考虑加一句话来把这两点弄成两个分论点]
[这段的观点感觉有点问题啊。。。因材施教就不能培养独立思考的能力了么？感觉作者把因材施教和偏科直接划上了等号。。。但实际上这两者并不等同，我甚至认为因材施教更能培养独立思考的能力]

Overall, it is controversial to define specifically designed education as the only effective kind. General education could be also effective since it helps a student figure out in which area his potential ability lie. Although, if the education lacks the training of independence thinking and fails to help students construct his value system, it could hardly be effective no matter how specific it is.
[有个问题，General Education让学生知道了area his potential ability lie了以后学生该做什么？继续General Education还是转向designed education？如果是former的话就不通了，如果是latter的话不就是自己给了自己一个耳光？]



综上，我认为作者的语言还是可以的，没有语法错误或者明显的语病，逻辑也很正常。但是在理解题意上可能有些偏差了，毕竟designed education并不一定是会导致偏科的教育啊。即使这样认为，也可以加一段来说明。但不加说明就直接把designed education写成了general education的对立面，有失妥当。

In addition，作者在写general education的好处时，似乎只有能让学生认清自己真正适合的方向这一点。但是认清了以后呢？还是继续general education么？貌似作者已经暗示了下一步才是designed education，但那样显然就造成了逻辑的漏洞了，希望这里能斟酌一下，提出更多persuasive的理由。

Finally，关于designed education和general education对于independent thinking的影响，我认为很难说啊。Designed education就没有independent thinking了吗？General education就一定有independent thinking？我认为未必啊。

可能过于吹毛求疵了，望LZ谅解~

figuechenUID: 2850619

Issue 51
不限时
Word: 678
    In my point of view, the effectiveness of the education when designed to meet the needs and interests of the individual varies according to the different stages of his education. It is well known that the main function and ideal goal of primary school, high school and university are not always the same, and therefore the methods of education differ from time to time.
    In the preliminary stage of education, such as primary school and high school, I oppose the idea that education should be designed for individuals to pursuit effectiveness. There are two main reasons for this claim. The first one is that it is hard to have a long-term plan for an individual whose needs and interests may change when he grows up. It is common that a child says he desires to become a scientist in the future after visiting the science museum one day and turns his dream career to an engineer after watching a video about aircrafts the next day. How can we design the specific education for him: to apply the course on natural science for a day and set a course on engineering stuff the next day? This kind of education will definitely go out of effectiveness.
    The second reason is that general education is required for both the individual and social needs. For an individual, it can be easily foreseen that designed education might lead to the lack of learning on some subjects. In the stage of initial education, the individual should be encouraged to have general education to obtain both knowledge and the way of thinking from specific subjects, which would be necessary in the subsequent subjects. Many subjects, such as math, are fundamental to other subjects like physics, and general education can enhance the basic knowledge of an individual. Also, we should never forget the social needs of general education. Einstein has pointed out that “one of the two functions of education is to educate the individual as part of the society”. One had better not indulge in what he takes an interest in and ignore all the other things as if they were nothing to him. We live in a society, which means that we have a strong correlation with others. The individual will feel lost in the world that contains huge amount of information on all kinds of subjects if we turn a deaf ear to general education.
    In the further stage of education, like university or adult education, however, more emphasis should be put on individual needs and interests. There are also two reasons for this change. First of all, one major is selected and the fixation of one’s interest will boost his studying. During this period of education, the individual has experienced almost all the subjects in the general education and has a preference to one of them. It is common sense that learning with interest will fasten the speed one learns and raise the quality of it, just like a ship sailing on the sea under the direction of a beacon.
    The second reason is that through intensive researches that are intended to meet the needs and interests of the individual can one be trained to think independently and freely, which is an important factor in education. There are many examples of famous scientists whose achievements come from their unique thinking on their favorite subjects. It is interests and needs that push them forward and think more, leading to their independent and free thoughts. Without such further researches, the knowledge and methods that the general education offers are merely an introduction or a foreword, which do not contain any challenge in thinking, and therefore can never train the individual to acquire the ability to think uniquely and freely, in another word, effectiveness.
    In sum, in the preliminary stage of the education, the general education is preferred due to both individual and social needs; in the advanced stage of the education, on the contrary, education which is designed to meet individual needs and interests are of high effectiveness and should be accepted and promoted.

追梦小木耳UID: 2781857

8# figuechen
木有关系，有问题尽管提，我的思路很狭隘~
嗯，明天改你的，扩展下思路，再把我的修改一下

figuechenUID: 2850619

8# figuechen  
木有关系，有问题尽管提，我的思路很狭隘~
嗯，明天改你的，扩展下思路，再把我的修改一下
追梦小木耳 发表于 2010-7-14 22:34

你修改的时候要多多提不足和意见哈，任何小的不足都可以啊~如果都是赞扬的话就没效果了~

大家多多交流哈~

gtjohnUID: 2813321

回拍 to figuechen

In my point of view, the effectiveness of the education when designed to meet the needs and interests of the individual varies according to the different stages of his education. It is well known that the main function and ideal goal of primary school, high school and university are not always the same, and therefore the methods of education differ from time to time.
[恩…分阶段写，没有想到的。]

    In the preliminary stage of education, such as primary school and high school[一直以为high school是高中的，学习了..], I oppose the idea that education should be designed for individuals to pursuit[pursue] effectiveness.[反对effectiveness还是反对designed to meet XXX, 你还没做定义effectiveness，而且这么说是不是太武断了] There are two main reasons for this claim. The first one is that it is hard to have a long-term plan for an individual whose needs and interests may change when he grows up. It is common that a child says he desires to become a scientist in the future after visiting the science museum one day and turns his dream career to an engineer after watching a video about aircrafts the next day.[这小孩明显对科技感兴趣嘛，可以举个远点的例子，比如要当画家啥的] How can we design the specific education for him: to apply the course on natural science for a day and set a course on engineering stuff the next day? This kind of education will definitely go out of effectiveness.[打个比方，很多小孩喜欢画画，然后去学了三个月画画，然后喜欢弹琴，又送去学了2个月弹琴，这个哪里不好了？是觉得他们兴趣无常这样太没效率了就不送他们去学么？我觉得这些对小孩以后还是有好处的呀]
    The second reason [这个是接上一段的第二个原因？就这么分段了是不是结构上不太好]is that general education is required for both the individual and social needs. For an individual, it can be easily foreseen that designed education might lead to the lack of learning on some subjects. In the stage of initial education, the individual should be encouraged to have general education to obtain both knowledge and the way of thinking from specific subjects, which would be necessary in the subsequent subjects. Many subjects, such as math, are fundamental to other subjects like physics, and general education can enhance the basic knowledge of an individual.[这一段讲general education的好处，讲开去了] Also, we should never forget the social needs of general education. Einstein has pointed out that “one of the two functions of education is to educate the individual as part of the society”. One had better not indulge in what he takes an interest in and ignore all the other things as if they were nothing to him. We live in a society, which means that we have a strong correlation with others. The individual will feel lost in the world that contains huge amount of information on all kinds of subjects if we turn a deaf ear to general education.[这一段把我文章里两段都写了。后面一个内容举了爱因斯坦的话不如举个反例有说服力]
In the further stage of education, like university or adult education, however, more emphasis should be put on individual needs and interests. There are also two reasons for this change. First of all, one major is selected and the fixation of one’s interest will boost his studying. During this period of education, the individual has experienced almost all the subjects in the general education and has a preference to one of them. It is common sense that learning with interest will fasten the speed one learns and raise the quality of it, just like a ship sailing on the sea under the direction of a beacon.[个人觉得general education和specialized education可能更多是在高等教育层面上来说的，所以单纯的讲到了大学了就要更多关注个人需要和兴趣是没什么问题，但是大学教育还存在社会需要。这里就可以举到基础课的例子了，如果按照你这段说法，在大学就可以不爱数学就不学数学了么。有的文科也学数学的，虽然没啥用。]
    The second reason is that through intensive researches that are intended to meet the needs and interests of the individual can one be trained to think independently and freely[这句不同意，独立思考不是从小就该培养了么], which is an important factor in education. There are many examples of famous scientists whose achievements come from their unique thinking on their favorite subjects. It is interests and needs that push them forward and think more, leading to their independent and free thoughts. Without such further researches, the knowledge and methods that the general education offers are merely an introduction or a foreword, which do not contain any challenge in thinking, and therefore can never train the individual to acquire the ability to think uniquely and freely, in another word, effectiveness.
    In sum, in the preliminary stage of the education, the general education is preferred due to both individual and social needs; in the advanced stage of the education, on the contrary, education which is designed to meet individual needs and interests are of high effectiveness and should be accepted and promoted.


[分阶段的写法确实很与众不同，文章抓住effectiveness来讨论，定义了不同阶段effectiveness的意思。但是1. education只限于学校教学么，如果不是，那么是不是用学习阶段其实是年龄阶段分的，这样的话还少了大学毕业后的自我教育才显得完整 2. 内容多但是觉得不够深入，有些论证不是太合理。比如独立思考那个 3. 社会层面的教育意义讲的太少了，我觉得这个题可能这里是个突破口，教育的个人vs社会]

我的issue51 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118662-1-1.html

追梦小木耳UID: 2781857

嗯，这次狠狠的拍了拍

In my point of view, 我觉得还是不要出现我认为这类词组，本来就是你的观点嘛the effectiveness of the education when designed to meet the needs and interests of the individual varies according to the different stages of his education. It is well known that the main function and ideal goal of primary school, high school and university are not always the same, and therefore the methods of education differ from time to time.这个观点不错，根据不同阶段有不同的教育方法
    In the preliminary stage of education, such as primary school and high school, I oppose尽量少用第一人称 the idea that education should be designed for individuals to pursuit effectiveness. There are two main reasons for this claim. The first one is that it is hard to have a long-term plan for我觉得用for表达原因的时候语气最弱不如用since an individual’s whose needs and interests may change when he grows up我觉得可以说不停地变keep changing when he is growing up. It is common that a child says he desires to become a scientist in the future after visiting the science museum one day and turns his dream career to an engineer after watching a video about aircrafts the next day. How can we design the specific education for him: to apply the course on natural science for a day and set a course on engineering stuff the next day? This kind of education will definitely go out of effectiveness.你这段说的有点像argument了
    The second reason is that general education is required for both the individual and social needs. For an individual, 建议把这一段的individual都换成the young,或者the teenagers毕竟你说的都是特殊人群嘛。而且individual出现次数太多了，可用person,one等替换it can be easily foreseen that designed education might lead to the lack of learning on some subjects. In the stage of initial education, the individual should be encouraged to have general education to obtain both knowledge and the way of thinking from specific various subjects, which would be necessary in the subsequent subjects. Many subjects, such as math, are fundamental to other subjects like physics, and general education can enhance the basic knowledge of an individual. Also, we should never forget the social needs of general education. Einstein has pointed out that “one of the two functions of education is to educate the individual as part of the society”. 第二部分没有说清楚社会需要，为什么要满足社会需要，怎样满足社会需要？？One had better not indulge in what he takes an interest in and ignore all the other things as if they were nothing to him. We live in a society, which means that we have a strong correlation with others. The individual will feel lost in the world that contains huge amount of information on all kinds of subjects if we turn a deaf ear to general education.    In the further stage of education, like university or adult education, however, more emphasis should be put on individual needs and interests.

There are also two reasons for this change.不如换一种说法 First of all, one major is selected and the fixation of one’s interest will boost his studying. During this period of education, the individual has experienced almost all the subjects in the general education and has a preference to one of them. It is common sense that learning with interest will fasten the speed one learns 这句话出现了两个learn and raise the quality of it, just like a ship sailing on the sea under the direction of a beacon.
    The second reason is that only through intensive researches that are intended to meet the needs and interests of the individual can one be trained to think independently and freely, which is an important factor in education. There are many examples of famous scientists whose achievements come from their unique thinking on their favorite subjects. It is interests and needs that push them forward and think more deeper, leading to their independent and free thoughts. Without such further researches, the knowledge and methods that the general education offers are merely an introduction or a foreword, which do not contain any challenge in thinking, and therefore can never train the individual to acquire the ability to think uniquely and freely, in another word, effectiveness.
    In sum, in the preliminary stage of the education, the general education is preferred due to both individual and social needs; in the advanced stage of the education, on the contrary, education which is designed to meet individual needs and interests are of high effectiveness and should be accepted and promoted.

语言流畅，但是缺少变化，尤其是老用the first reason, the second reason，虽然比较有逻辑性，但是干巴巴的。
观点很好，分不同的阶段来讲，比我考虑的周全多了
至于楼上说到底什么是general education, specific education.我认为既然题没有说，那么就包括学校教育和其他教育。因此如果只讨论学校教育是可以的，毕竟没有必要把所有情况都想的那么周全嘛。因此应该在开头说以学校教育为例

figuechenUID: 2850619

感谢楼上两位的互拍~

追梦小木耳UID: 2781857

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 346   final words 630      TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2010-7-20 22:00:09

I agree that school education will be effective when it is specifically designed since it meet every individual's needs and interests, and make one pursue his life goals. However, this effective method should be based on the general education which teaches students how to think independently and help them form the value toward the world.

In the first place, one must consider what the effective education is. From my perspective, the essential purpose of truly effective education is to train the students to think independently and let them form the basic social value, and then to impart professional knowledge and then guide them to pursue their own career and achieve self-realization. According to the definition above, the education simply satisfying every individual’s interests and needs without teaching them how to find out their interests and needs can hardly be effective.

Before knowing basic values and the way to think about problems, students should not be given specific education. In the first stage of school education like primary schools, junior schools and high schools, students are too immature and inexperienced to know about what they truly like and need in their lives. They always make decisions according to the movies they have watched or the stars they admire. Affected by present cultural trend, most students are eager to become super stars and have no academic pursue. In addition, their needs are constantly changing as they grow up before they truly found their character and value system, from singing and dancing trainings to painting skills, from playing basketball to making robots. In this case, how could society expect them to design their own future? Therefore, the education in the first stage should aim at training the students how to think independently and let them form their own value to the world and society. After having received these trainings, the students will learn how to tell right from wrong and make their own decisions. In this stage, they study a variety of general courses, from which they gradually know about their interest and for what they truly desire in future. This general education in the first stage of school education, focusing on training students’ independent mind and establishment of correct value system, is the first step of effective education.

In the second stage of effective school education, when students have learned to make correct decisions and establish their own value and moral system, they start receiving high education, which should aim at personal development rather than imparting general values. In this stage, the students have recognized their true interests and needs at present and in the future, and they should start receiving specifically designed education to learn professional knowledge and further training in specific realms. For example, students in the colleges should choose their major according to their interests and needs, and the school must provide every possible chance to satisfy every individual's needs. Though most colleges are not able to design courses for every student, they should at least set various courses and encourage them to learn what they are interested in, rather than force the students of the same major to learn same courses. The further studies and researches in the field one takes interest in not only conduce to further career but make every student distinguished with each other and help achieve self-realization, finally meeting the purpose of the effective school education.

To conclude, the single conduct of specifically designed education for any individual student would not be effective, especially for those students who have not recognized their interests and needs. Only when students have found their own interests and needs, received specifically designed education and started pursuing their own career, in the process of which realizing themselves and making contributions to society can the education be called truly effective.

xingfuhbjUID: 2769976

我是被标题吸引进来的...平时懒得改文因为看文很细..怕错太多...想着重写的应该好一点...
改了快一个小时已经困得不行了...也没法focus了...
已经提出的问题建议好好think一下~欢迎质疑
暂时不需要回拍~我只是心血来潮想做个好事~结果~好困啊....
加油吧~!


I agree that school education will be effective when it is specifically designed since it meet(s 主谓不一致, 很常见的问题) every individual's needs and interests, and make one pursue his life goals.[个人认为不要逗号and 改成thus比较好,或者逗号也可以放在since前面继续改and(这种不确定).但是我语法一窍不通全凭语感~欢迎持保留意见] However, this effective method should be based on the general education which teaches students how to think independently and help them form the value toward the world.
不懂specified education要怎么based on general education
建议不要写的太绕, 老米思维很直, 喜欢重点明确突出.(这是我让native和米国的童鞋帮忙改文得到的血淋淋的经验. 中式思维的含蓄还是收着点.)

In the first place, one must consider what the effective education is. From my perspective, the essential purpose of truly effective education is to train the students to think independently and let them form the basic social value, and then to impart professional knowledge and then guide them to pursue their own career and achieve self-realization. (换掉重复的表达. 而且我看不出来第一个词的前后存在递进关系.逻辑词不要滥用.) According to the definition above, the education simply satisfying every individual’s interests and needs without teaching them how to find out their interests and needs can hardly be effective.


首先觉得你的TS很奇怪, 我觉得这应该是整篇文的thesis. 先写了再回头看你内容.
懂你意思了, 这段应该是要归为开头段的, 不过不知道rater瞄一眼的时候会不会也有些迷茫.
你的观点好独特的说~私以为满足每个人的需求已经是impossible的事儿了, but你居然觉得是simply还need more~恩!有个性!

Before knowing basic values and the way to think about problems, students should not be given specific education. In the first stage of school education like primary schools, junior schools and high schools, students are too immature and inexperienced to know about what they truly like and need in their lives. (前面加个future之类的吧, 小学生也不至于不知道自己的需求~) They always make decisions according to the movies they have watched or the stars they admire.(这词放在这看着好奇怪啊)
Affected by present cultural trend, most students are eager to become super stars and have no academic pursue. (貌似太主观了?) In addition, their needs are constantly changing as they grow up before they truly found(怪怪的~用form之类的吧~) their character and value system, from singing and dancing trainings to painting skills, from playing basketball to making robots. In this case, how could society expect them to design their own future? (私以为你其实并没有明确说明为什么不行. 他们的需求多变,不成熟. 你应该接着说,而教育不可能跟着他们的需求时刻变化, 也不能满足不成熟的需求和兴趣.因此bla bla…)Therefore, the education in the first stage should aim at training the students how to think independently and let them form their own value to the world and society. (我觉得因果关系不怎么紧密,根据常识来说,上述小孩的特征是他们的天性. 这句是指教育是要先改变他们的天性, 因而帮助他们) After having received these trainings, the students will learn how to tell right from wrong and make their own decisions.(私以为这并不能独自绝对自己兴趣爱好的很好表现. 很多小孩可以做到这些,但不一定能决定自己真正的兴趣~) In this stage, they study a variety of general courses, from which they gradually know about their interest and for what they truly desire in future. This general education in the first stage of school education, focusing on training students’ independent mind and establishment of correct value system, is the first step of effective education.

In the second stage of effective school education, when students have learned to make correct decisions and establish their own value and moral system, they start receiving high education, which should aim at personal development rather than imparting general values. In this stage, the students have recognized their true interests and needs at present and in the future, and they should start receiving specifically designed education to learn professional knowledge and further training in specific realms. For example, students in the colleges should choose their major according to their interests and needs, and the school must provide every possible chance to satisfy every individual's needs. Though most colleges are not able to design courses for every student, they should at least set various courses and encourage them to learn what they are interested in, rather than force the students of the same major to learn same courses. The further studies and researches in the field one takes interest in not only conduce to further career but make every student distinguished with each other and help achieve self-realization, finally meeting the purpose of the effective school education.

To conclude, the single conduct of specifically designed education for any individual student would not be effective, especially for those students who have not recognized their interests and needs. Only when students have found their own interests and needs, received specifically designed education and started pursuing their own career, in the process of which realizing themselves and making contributions to society can the education be called truly effective.