【1010G8月AW小组】ISSUE16by【❀雨】

verydarkUID: 2765585

TOPIC: ISSUE16 - "Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals."

With the fast development of technology, recent decades has witnessed a heated discussion among people, about luxuries and conveniences which new technology has brought to us. I partly agree author's statement above, however, i believe despite some disadvantages these approaches bring to human beings, they are more benefiting we human from various aspects, propelling human society to a new level with unprecedented strength and power.

Undeniable, the luxuries and conveniences we are enjoying now are weakening our physical strength to some extent. For instance, vehicles such as cars and buses bring us great convenience, but people tend to rely on these means of transportation, our ability of walking and running are being weakened as time goes by. It is widely believe that human beings' limbs will be degenerated after thousands of years for the reason of being immobile for a long time. The developments of Internet, which change with every passing day, also serve us many expediencies. However, more and more people are likely to wasting time absorbing in SNS websites like Facebook and micro-blogging sites like Twitter. Teenagers are always busy on their mobile phones, pressing the keyboard at a high speed, updating their Twitter every time and everywhere. According to a recent research, the teenagers in United States are spending 30% of their daily time on Twitter and Facebook, keeping touch with their friends online. In fact, this dependence of Internet reduces people's time to spend with family and real friends. Friends won't gather together for fun like past, instead, they "gather together" online, in virtual world. It can explain why people are feeling lonelier even if they are with their friends online all the time, they lack affection and emotion based on reality, nevertheless, they are tending to stay online for even longer, to mitigate the loneliness. Indeed, people are losing independence because of these new technologies.

However, we can never deny the contribution new technologies give us. We work more effectively and efficiently with the aid of such conveniences as the automobiles and computer. These technologies makes are more productive than ever. Thanks to well-developed transportation system, we can go every corner in the world if we want, by planes, cars and ships. The earth is described by people as "Global Village", human beings' mobility are unprecedentedly strong. All these means of traveling enhance our independence compared to past, we are liberated from the constraint of going elsewhere from which our ancestors suffered. As a matter of fact, modern technologies are boosting human beings to a new level of power, the discovery of Universe, the well-developed medical facilities, the appearance of biotechnology; all of these demonstrate the power and strength in people’s hand.

To sum up, the criteria to judge whether these conveniences and luxuries brought by new technologies benefits us is how we apply them. As an individual in this information era, one should make full use of these conveniences to be more productive and effective, but avoid being dependent on these technologies at the same time. We are pursuing a balance between utilizing technologies and being free of dependence of them, a balance which can make us being real strong and independent individuals.

zhangxingyueUID: 2851383

With the fast development of technology, recent decades has witnessed a heated discussion among people, about luxuries and conveniences which new technology has brought to us. I partly agree author's statement above, however, I believe despite some disadvantages these approaches bring to human beings, they are more beneficial for us in various aspects, propelling human society to a new level with unprecedented strength and power.

Undeniable, the luxuries and conveniences we are enjoying now are weakening our physical strength to some extent. For instance, vehicles such as cars and buses bring us great convenience, but people tend to rely on these means of transportation, our ability of walking and running are being weakened as time goes by. It is widely believe that human beings' limbs will be degenerated(参考get vestigial) after thousands of years for the reason of being immobile for a long time. 建议在此分段因为本段说的是生理功能退化

On the other hand, people are losing their independence while taking full adventage of some of the advanced technologies.  The developments of Internet, for instance, which change with every passing day,  serve us many expediencies. However, more and more people are likely to wasting time absorbing in SNS websites like Facebook and micro-blogging sites like Twitter. Moreover, Teenagers are always busy on their mobile phones, pressing the keyboard at a high speed, updating their Twitter every time and everywhere. According to a recent research, the teenagers in United States are spending 30% of their daily time on Twitter and Facebook, keeping touch with their friends online. In fact, this dependence of Internet reduces people's time to spend with family and real friends. Friends won't gather together for fun like past, instead, they "gather together" online, in virtual world. It can explain why people are feeling lonelier even if they are with their friends online all the time, lacking affection and emotion based on reality, nevertheless, they are tending to stay online for even longer, to mitigate the loneliness. Indeed, people are losing independence because of these new technologies.

However, we can never deny the contribution new technologies give us. We work more effectively and efficiently with the aid of such conveniences as the automobiles and computers. These technologies makes us more productive than ever. What more significant, thanks to well-developed transportation system, we can go every corner in the world if we want, by planes, cars and ships. The earth is described by people as "Global Village", human beings' mobility are unprecedentedly strong. All these means of traveling enhance our independence compared to past, we are liberated from the constraint of going elsewhere from which our ancestors suffered. As a matter of fact, modern technologies are boosting human beings to a new level of power, the exploration in Universe, the well-developed medical facilities, the appearance of biotechnology; all of these demonstrate the power and strength in people’s hand.

To sum up, the criteria to judge whether these conveniences and luxuries brought by new technologies benefits us dependens on how we apply them. As an individual in this information era, one should make full use of these conveniences to be more productive and effective, but avoid being dependent on these technologies at the same time. We are pursuing a balance(建议用 equilibrium)between utilizing technologies and being free of dependence of them, a balance which can make us being real strong and independent individuals.

hyacinthUID: 2184492

this topic reminds me of an interesting show i was watching recently...

it's called "you are cut off "...

if you are interested, you could watch one episode and you get yourself a good set of examples...

zhangxingyueUID: 2851383

With the fast development of technology, recent decades has witnessed a heated discussion among people, about luxuries and conveniences which new technology has brought to us. I partly agree author's statement above, however, I believe despite some disadvantages these approaches bring to human beings, they are more beneficial for us in various aspects, propelling human society to a new level with unprecedented strength and power.
Undeniable, the luxuries and conveniences we are enjoying now are weakening our physical strength to some extent. For instance, vehicles such as cars and buses bring us great convenience, but people tend to rely on these means of transportation, our ability of walking and running are being weakened as time goes by. It is widely believe that human beings' limbs will be degenerated(参考get vestigial) after thousands of years for the reason of being immobile for a long time. 建议在此分段因为本段说的是生理功能退化
On the other hand, people are losing their independence while taking full adventage of some of the advanced technologies.  The developments of Internet, for instance, which change with every passing day,  serve us many expediencies. However, more and more people are likely to wasting time absorbing in SNS websites like Facebook and micro-blogging sites like Twitter. Moreover, Teenagers are always busy on their mobile phones, pressing the keyboard at a high speed, updating their Twitter every time and everywhere. According to a recent research, the teenagers in United States are spending 30% of their daily time on Twitter and Facebook, keeping touch with their friends online. In fact, this dependence of Internet reduces people's time to spend with family and real friends. Friends won't gather together for fun like past, instead, they "gather together" online, in virtual world. It can explain why people are feeling lonelier even if they are with their friends online all the time, lacking affection and emotion based on reality, nevertheless, they are tending to stay online for even longer, to mitigate the loneliness. Indeed, people are losing independence because of these new technologies.
However, we can never deny the contribution new technologies give us. We work more effectively and efficiently with the aid of such conveniences as the automobiles and computers. These technologies makes us more productive than ever. What more significant, thanks to well-developed transportation system, we can go every corner in the world if we want, by planes, cars and ships. The earth is described by people as "Global Village", human beings' mobility are unprecedentedly strong. All these means of traveling enhance our independence compared to past, we are liberated from the constraint of going elsewhere from which our ancestors suffered. As a matter of fact, modern technologies are boosting human beings to a new level of power, the exploration in Universe, the well-developed medical facilities, the appearance of biotechnology; all of these demonstrate the power and strength in people’s hand.
To sum up, the criteria to judge whether these conveniences and luxuries brought by new technologies benefits us dependens on how we apply them. As an individual in this information era, one should make full use of these conveniences to be more productive and effective, but avoid being dependent on these technologies at the same time. We are pursuing a balance(建议用 equilibrium)between utilizing technologies and being free of dependence of them, a balance which can make us being real strong and independent individuals.

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

TOPIC: ISSUE16 - "Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, in fact, they actually prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals."

With the fast development of technology, recent decades has witnessed a heated discussion among people, about luxuries and conveniences which new technology has brought to us. I partly agree author's statement above, however[这里用however不太合适，没有强转折的意味在里面], i believe despite some disadvantages these approaches [what approaches] bring to human beings, they are more [more完了了以后than在哪里？对比的对象在哪里] benefiting[beneficial] to we human [human beings] from various aspects, propelling human society to a new level with unprecedented strength and power.
Undeniable, the luxuries and conveniences we are enjoying now are weakening our physical strength to some extent. For instance, vehicles such as cars and buses bring us great convenience, but people tend to rely on these means of transportation, our ability of walking and running are being weakened as time goes by [这句话后半句说得有点夸张了。。你可以说人们会缺乏锻炼，但是说走路和跑步的能力都会下降也有点over了，况且人可以去gym]. It is widely believe that human beings' limbs will be degenerated after thousands of years for the reason of being immobile for a long time. The developments of Internet, which change with every passing day, also serve us many expediencies. However, more and more people are likely to wasting time absorbing in SNS websites like Facebook and micro-blogging sites like Twitter. Teenagers are always busy on their mobile phones, pressing the keyboard at a high speed, updating their Twitter every time and everywhere. According to a recent research, the teenagers in United States are spending 30% of their daily time on Twitter and Facebook, keeping touch with their friends online. In fact, this dependence of Internet reduces people's time to spend with family and real friends. Friends won't gather together for fun like past, instead, they "gather together" online, in virtual world. It can explain why people are feeling lonelier even if they are with their friends online all the time, they lack affection and emotion based on reality, nevertheless, they are tending to stay online for even longer, to mitigate the loneliness. Indeed, people are losing independence because of these new technologies. [这个例子你说的很具体，但是这跟题目的strong 和independent的具体逻辑关系到底是什么。你只是说了互联网浪费了很多时间。我看了你举的例子，会觉得如果你论证的是网络减少了人面对面的交流，让人疏远，我同意，但是indeed。。。lost independent。。我实在没看出来。如果你能把详细叙述facebook和twitter怎么受欢迎的句子，缩短为一句，讲人的心理怎么变得脆弱，不敢跟真人交往，躲在屏幕后面做角色扮演，从而论证因为internet出现，人变得不storng了，这样才能得出你的结论。注意你写的是议论文，描述事实只是为了说理，要有度。]

However, we can never deny the contribution new technologies give us. We work more effectively and efficiently with the aid of such conveniences as the automobiles and computer. [These technologies makes are more productive than ever. Thanks to well-developed transportation system, we can go every corner in the world if we want, by planes, cars and ships. The earth is described by people as "Global Village", human beings' mobility are unprecedentedly strong. All these means of traveling enhance our independence compared to past, we are liberated from the constraint of going elsewhere from which our ancestors suffered. ] [这一段的论证好于前一段。不过你得论证让我觉得有点缺乏深度。你的文字很不错。但是不知道为什么，让我觉得有点单调。因为很简单的一个技术让人可以去任何地方，就用了几乎一整段来说。而且每句之间的意思其实没什么区别。从these technologies 到 elsewhere from which。这三句话，只要有一句就够了。因虽然我们一直说issue要有细节，但是这种细节是基于你在讨论一个很复杂的问题的时候，但是这种简单的生活例子，却一直重复着说，会降低你文章内容的深度。比如你主题句写了computer，你完全可以写online learning 怎么帮组人自学。] [As a matter of fact, modern technologies are boosting human beings to a new level of power, the discovery of Universe, the well-developed medical facilities, the appearance of biotechnology; all of these demonstrate the power and strength in people’s hand.]这句话是一个statement，其实这句话包含的信息就比较复杂，比如宇宙的发现，医疗结束，生物公司，这些都是包含复杂的信息的单词，你却反而一句话就不讲了。包括前面facebook和twitter的例子。]

To sum up, the criteria to judge whether these conveniences and luxuries brought by new technologies benefits us is how we apply them. As an individual in this information era, one should make full use of these conveniences to be more productive and effective, but avoid being dependent on these technologies at the same time. We are pursuing a balance between utilizing technologies and being free of dependence of them, a balance which can make us being real strong and independent individuals.
[你英文很好。表达都比较到位。但是同样也有思维发散的问题。开头结尾比较好，但是中间两段论证的时候，1，论证的严密性 2论证的深度。]

verydarkUID: 2765585

5# lingli_xiaoai

感谢小哀姐姐~我的例子确实使用得不够到位，论证深度不够，这方面我要好好加强，谢谢！！