我的iBT独立作文贴

lbnjinUID: 2210503

iBT独立作文贴

请大家多指教！ 谢谢！

先发一贴：

[7.20]Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money.

Some said that the businessmen are only motivated by desire of money. I am afraid I can not agree with that. Even though nowadays it seems that money has become more and more important to normal people, it is absolutely not the ultimate goal of people’s career and life. The most valuable thing varies from people to people. And about this issue I have many living examples.

Firstly, let’s take a look at the employees, who we call ‘white collars’, work in companies, investment institutions and so on. I am not a businessman, but I have many friends who work in the international companies such as Johnson & Johnson Co., IBM, and Goldman. Their payments are very high. But every time when I was talking with them, they told me they were enduring great pressures, and they were exhausted. They told me what they want was just an easier life, not such aggressive one. They all prefer a more comfortable life even though which means less money. They said what mostly motivated them to work is the desire of happy family life.

Secondly, about the business people who run their own companies and factories, even though earning money is always placed at an important position, based on my observation it is neither the only motivation nor the strongest motivation. For example, Bill Gates, the boss of Microsoft Company, who is familiar to many people in this world, every year he keeps denoting huge amount of his wealth to WHO and other international non-profit organizations, in order to improve the living condition of people in poor countries.

And another example is a Chinese martial art actor Li Lianjie, actually right now he is rather an investor and film producer than a actor, he spent large part of his wealth which accumulated by film and investment to set up a charity foundation: Yi Ji Jing.

On the other hand, religious factor could also cause mighty influence on individual’s attitude and behavior toward life, career and business. For example a typical puritan life should be self- discipline, frugal, and indulging in business and career, and generosity to charity. The owing of god is the mighty motivation of a puritan to run business.

According to an ancient philosophy Aristotle, the meaning of people’s life is to pursue happiness, and the happiness is composed by complete, independent and thinking. In my opinion, people include businessman can feel happy only if they feel self-satisfaction, safe, free and complete. The money is just an important tool to achieve happiness. It is not the ultimate purpose of life, nor the only motivation of running business.

szmanutdUID: 2727152

They told me what they want was just an easier life, not such aggressive one

为什么用aggressive？？


For example a typical puritan life should be self- discipline, frugal, and indulging in business and career, and generosity to charity.感觉楼主的词汇用的有些生硬 是套的吧？ascetic life即可 什么是puritan life？呵呵 查电子字典的吧？这样的话还不如不写这个词呢楼主~~词汇不是越生僻越偏越好 而是精准 还有 这个句子我怎么感觉既贬既褒？


语句多点变化，比如第一段，每个句式都很一致，这样不太好~
词汇嘛 有几个错字 这个问题不大

比尔盖兹这个例子就别举了，没多大意思，就算楼主描述的再生动详细，ets看的多了，不愿意细读你这段的 可以换些别的人，甚至自己的朋友，都比bill gates好啊~是吧？


还有我觉得哦~我个人觉得 你说你朋友都是强生 ibm的那段 有点感觉是···很假，尽量真实点吧

lbnjinUID: 2210503

谢谢你的评论

ascetic 又太苦了点，所以我就直接写的puritan life, 也没多想

J&J是真的哦


aggressive  呃... is aggressive... >_<

maonamaoziUID: 2763925

Contemporarily, a fair proportion of people contend that the desire for more money is the only motivator  for business people for the reason that the primary target of business is to gain the profit .However ,they fail to realize the facts that not only do they eager to be respected but also they are in need of love .From these angle ,I can hardly agree with the notion that most business people are motivated only by the desire for more money .Here I would like to present couple of reasons for my fancy.
  Initially ,from the company aspect businessman ,especially the leader of a company, hope both his corporation and himself can achieve good reputation ,which can hardly  achieve with the only desire for profit. To achieve this ,currently companies are implementing quality management to ensure the products produced by them  can be satisfied by  their customers .What's more, most business leader are complying with the laws strictly and at the same time they are doing charity as well to guarantee that they have a positive identity in the society .The shocking earthquake last year in China is a good case in point .Hearing of the catastrophe, thousands of companies and billionaire have donated enormous amount of money to the victims and local government for the rebuilding.  Jim, the CEO of IBM company in Sichuan province has donated 40 billion RMB ,which is identical to half of their gross profit .At the end of the year 2008,Jim has won the  local favorable individual .Therefore, it is obvious that most business people are also driven by reputation rather than money.
  Secondly ,at individual level ,pursuing love is another aim for most business people .According to Maslow's need hierarchy theory ,human beings need are divided into five levels ,including the need for love, a higher level than material needs ,such as food, money.  Most businessmen are also longing for a happy family ,considerate wife or husband and a lovely child ,which billions dollars can not buy .According to a recent survey conducted by Tessess Data, a statistics organization ,over 78.64%business men value affection love more than money .Hardly can we imagine the situation where there is only money in one's world without love.
  Admittedly, we can not deny that ,most businessmen ,in such a severely competitive market , are driven by the harsh pressure to make sure the planned profit .However ,money does not makes the whole life of business people ,since they also make effort to keep fit and love ,which can not be replaced by anything.
   To sum up ,given those sagacious reasons discussed above, I strongly disagree with the statement that most business people are motivated only by the desire for more money.

lbnjinUID: 2210503

maonamaozi，建议你自己开一贴啊，这样可以继续贴自己的作业，你要别人改时，贴链接就行了，呵呵 :D

详见： https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1109907-1-1.html     一楼

Mason.PDUID: 2592013

Some said that the businessmen are only motivated by desire of money. I am afraid I can not agree with that. Even though nowadays it seems that money has become more and more important to normal people, it is absolutely not the ultimate goal of people’s career and life. The most valuable thing varies from people to people. And about this issue I have many living examples.

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Firstly, let’s take a look at the employees, who we call ‘white collars’, work in companies, investment institutions and so on. I am not a businessman, but I have many friends who work in the international companies such as Johnson & Johnson Co., IBM, and Goldman. Their payments are very high. But every time when I was talking with them, they told me they were enduring great pressures, and they were exhausted. They told me what they want was just an easier life, not such aggressive ？one. They all prefer a more comfortable life even though which means less money. They said what mostly motivated them to work is the desire of happy family life.

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Secondly, about the business people who run their own companies and factories, even though earning money is always placed at an important position, based on my observation it is neither the only motivation nor the strongest motivation. For example, Bill Gates, the boss of Microsoft Company, who is familiar to many people in this world, every year he keeps denoting huge amount of his wealth to WHO and other international non-profit organizations, in order to improve the living condition of people in poor countries.

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And another example is a Chinese martial art actor Li Lianjie, actually right now he is rather an investor and film producer than a actor, he spent large part of his wealth which accumulated by film and investment to set up a charity foundation: Yi Ji Jing.

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On the other hand,这边前面没有on the one hand就不要用这个转接词了吧。我觉得用meanwhile就可以了 religious factor could also cause mighty influence on individual’s attitude and behavior toward life, career and business. For example a typical puritan life should be self- discipline, frugal, and indulging in business and career, and generosity to charity. The owing of god is the mighty motivation of a puritan to run business.

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According to an ancient philosophy Aristotle, the meaning of people’s life is to pursue happiness, and the happiness is composed by complete, independent and thinking. In my opinion, people include businessman can feel happy only if they feel self-satisfaction, safe, free and complete. The money is just an important tool to achieve happiness. It is not the ultimate purpose of life, nor the only motivation of running business.

写的蛮好啊

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