dy008的作文作业

dy008UID: 2284812

Personally, I would have to say that, I agree with the statement young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

First of all, young people must undertake a procedure of socialization. When young people are still under protection of school, they can not touch the real society directly. When they stay in college, students need not to undertake the cruel social competition, the pressure from employment problem, office politics. Even they take part-time jobs when study, they need not to consider everything happened around them, the links of social events. So they should spend time to get familiar of social experience, build their mature world view. In 2010, one seventh college students in Japan have chosen to stay one more year in universities. They have no enough courage to face the cruel pressure, that's why young people should take some different jobs to obtain enough experience when they enter the adult world.

What is more, the different career experience can help young men to make decision in their career orientation. For example, Louis Pasteur, the famous French microbiologist, chose chemistry as his job at first. In the short time practice, he found that bacterial and viral knowledge is so attractive. After his friend was attacked by mad dog and died of rabies, he made the important decision. He spent all his life in microbiology, to fulfill his dream to create the first vaccine of rabies. Steve Jobs also has a dream to make cutting-edge technology production be affordable for everyone. For this dream he made a lot of decisions that lead to big financial loss of Apple, so he was forced to retired from his company. After that, he finally find this ideal was what he really wanted, so he never gave up. Instead, he accumulated enough experience to make his dream come true. After IMac, Ibook, Ipad and Iphone, we all know the end of the story. That to say, people need some experience for choosing the right way.

To sum up, young men need to enjoy some different short-term jobs for open their eyes to real society and look for the ultimate goal to which they would devote all their professional lives.

dy008UID: 2284812

34分钟，370字。我需要准备一下开头结尾模板，每次这上面花的时间太多

lxg198607UID: 2564115

Personally, I would have to say that, I agree with the statement (that不能省） young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

of all, young people must undertake a procedure of socialization. When young people are still under protection of school, they can not touch the real society directly. When they stay in college, students need not to undertake the cruel social competition, the pressure from employment problem, office politics. Even they take part-time jobs when study, they need not to consider everything happened（happening） around them, the links of social events. So they should spend time to get familiar of social experience, build their mature world view. In 2010, one seventh college students in Japan have chosen to stay one more year in universities. They have no enough courage to face the cruel pressure（这句怎么感觉听chinglish的， cope with pressure）, that's why young people should take some different jobs to obtain enough experience when they enter the adult world.

What is more, the different career experience can help young men to make decision in their career orientation. For example, Louis Pasteur, the famous French microbiologist, chose chemistry as his job at first. In the short time practice, he found that bacterial and viral knowledge is so attractive. After his friend was attacked by mad dog and died of rabies, he made the(an) important decision. He spent all his life in microbiology, to fulfill his dream to create the first vaccine of rabies. Steve Jobs also has a dream to make cutting-edge technology production be(删) affordable for everyone. For this dream he made a lot of decisions that lead to big financial loss of Apple, （这个例子看得不是很懂，怎么跟experience有关系、只能说他坚持他的 idea）so he was forced to retired from his company. After that, he finally find this ideal was what he really wanted, so he never gave up. Instead, he accumulated enough experience to make his dream come true. After IMac, Ibook, Ipad and Iphone, we all know the end of the story. That to say, people need some experience for choosing the right way. （例子还行，我怎么感觉占得篇幅过大了）

sum up, young men need to enjoy some different short-term jobs for open their eyes to real society and look for the ultimate goal to which they would devote all their professional lives.

yylbjUID: 2764695

Personally, I would have to say that, I agree with the statement young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

First of all, young people must undertake a procedure of socialization.好词When young people are still under protection of school, they can not touch the real society directly. When they stay in college, students need not to undertake（重复了几次，建议改成participate in） the cruel social competition, the pressure from employment problem, office politics. Even they take part-time jobs when study, they need not to consider everything happened around them, the links of social events. (没太明白意思)So they should spend time to get familiar of social experience, build their mature world view.（好） In 2010, one seventh college students in Japan have chosen to stay one more year in universities. They have no enough courage to face the cruel pressure, that's why young people should take some different jobs to obtain enough experience when they enter the adult world.例子举得很好！

What is more, the different career experience can help young men to make decision in their career orientation. For example, Louis Pasteur, the famous French microbiologist, chose chemistry as his job at first. In the short time practice, he found that bacterial and viral knowledge is so attractive. After his friend was attacked by mad dog and died of rabies, he made the important decision. He spent all his life in microbiology, to fulfill his dream to create the first vaccine of rabies. Steve Jobs also has a dream to make cutting-edge technology production be affordable for everyone. For this dream he made a lot of decisions that lead to big financial loss of Apple, so he was forced to retired from his company. After that, he finally find this ideal was what he really wanted, so he never gave up. Instead, he accumulated enough experience to make his dream come true. After IMac, Ibook, Ipad and Iphone, we all know the end of the story. That to say, people need some experience for choosing the right way.
To sum up, young men need to enjoy some different short-term jobs for open their eyes to real society and look for the ultimate goal to which they would devote all their professional lives.
很喜欢你的这篇文章，没有什么大的问题，可能我水平还不够，呵呵，向你学习！

yylbjUID: 2764695

希望早点看到你给我改的~呵呵~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1130672-1-1.html

dy008UID: 2284812

There is no consensus on whether a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. In my opinion, it is clear that salary takes a more important role in people's lives, so I would choose career with high salary and less vacation.

First, the fulfillment of family obligation is actually more important to enjoying a longer vacation. At present, people in my age have a kind of terrible burden in the fast-paced society. People should be responsible for their family, so they must pay old age insurance, medical insurance, taking care of their children and offering enough education opportunities. With continually higher CPI, it is really a pressure for average people to keep a reasonable life standard. So high-paid career is required and can easily soothe the pressure and let us have a space to breathe.

Further, the length of vacation is not the most important aspect of entertainment. People often pursue the quality of their vacation. For example, if I prefer to swim in my spare time, with low paid job, maybe I only can go to public swimming pool near my home. With a much higher compensation, I can choose a famous resort near sea to enjoy my shorter holiday, with expensive diving equipments. I believe it will be a much better experience than just staying in the same city. So money is the backbone of enjoyment, and if people pay more attention to the quality of entertainment, they will know high paid career is really helpful.

In addition, higher salary makes possible the real free of mental life. With usual financial background, people have no enough room to pursue what they really like, and it is common in modern society. For example, I like music, but I had to choose business major in college, for students in music major can not find a job with satisfactory salary. Occupation with good compensation can improve our economical condition, so we can explore that fields in which we are really interested in spare time and need not to worry that we can not fulfill our responsibility.

To sum up, money can support people's dream and obligation, offering real mental satisfaction, which is more important than vacation, so I will prefer the job with higher salary.
绿色是我拼错的。请狠批。

bruce520UID: 2634940

There is no consensus on whether a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. In my opinion, it is clear that salary takes a more important role 【这个说辞颇为发人深省】 in people's lives, so I would choose career with high salary and less vacation.

First, the fulfillment of family obligation is actually more important to enjoying a longer vacation. At present, people in my age have a kind of terrible burden in the fast-paced society. People should be responsible for their family, so they must pay old age insurance, medical insurance, taking care of their children and offering enough education opportunities. With continually higher CPI 【这里最好说一下全称下文方能引用】, it is really a pressure for average people to keep a reasonable life standard. So high-paid career is required and can easily soothe the pressure and let us have a space to breathe.
) Z- x/ i' Z. R( _4 `
Further, the length of vacation is not the most important aspect of entertainment. People often pursue the quality of their vacation. For example, if I prefer to swim in my spare time, with low paid job, maybe I only can go to public swimming pool near my home. 【这里哟个过渡词就好了，比如，in the contrary之类】With a much higher compensation, I can choose a famous resort near sea to enjoy my shorter holiday, with expensive diving equipments. I believe it will be a much better experience than just staying in the same city. So money is the backbone of enjoyment, and if people pay more attention to the quality of entertainment, they will know high paid career is really helpful.* |  M7 p( W6 ^, q
7 m  P6 V4 N& U: w3 y0 e
In addition, higher salary makes possible the real free of mental life. With usual financial background, people have no enough room to pursue what they really like, and it is common in modern society. For example, I like music, but I had to choose business major in college, for students in music major can not find a job with satisfactory salary. Occupation with good compensation can improve our economical condition, so we can explore that fields in which we are really interested in spare time and need not to worry that we can not fulfill our responsibility

To sum up, money can support people's dream and obligation, offering real mental satisfaction, which is more important than vacation, so I will prefer the job with higher salary.

选择这个观点论证确实很难做的让人信服，我也是选的high salary，但是说的理由很烂，楼主的观点除了结尾说的which is more important than vacation，其他都很合理，佩服

yandong1208UID: 2798280

803 by dy008.doc (23.5 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-8-4 23:24:16 上传

下载次数: 6

已批改，见附件。

dy008UID: 2284812

There is no census on whether the adult should set up a comprehensive curriculum for the children at the age of 5 to 10. In my view, I definitely support to offer art and music courses to the kids.



First, children with that age background should touch every kind of knowledge, so it is the duty of education system to provide differing fields in which they are interested possibly. Kids at this age are just leaving their parents, and come into a strange environment that a lot of children can study and play together. That is a very important period when children start to learn to open their eyes to touch the whole world, and begin to abstract every interesting thing. That's to say, art and music, as well as math, science and history, will benefit them for construct a immature and developing world view, which plays an significant role in people's lives.



What' more, the adult have no right to interfere children's interest. Every kid has the same right to choose what they really like. Some may like sports, some may prefer science, and some others may feel that music is their favorate, no matter they have these talents or not. Society should not simply suppose what will be beneficial to social welfare and impose these courses to students and eliminate others. Comprehensive education can offer students enough space to choose what they really like, and a proper hobby can help them build up a healthy personality..



At last, children are the backbone of whole society in the further. After they grow up, they should fulfill the family obligation. They need to afford family cost, pay for the social insurance, and prepare children education funding for the next generation. That's to say, they need a reasonable salary, which can be offered in art and music fields. In this fast-paced society, art and must both are great methods for entertainment, while they also can create enough value in business field. So the basic knowledge about art and music may assist the students to obtain career opportunities in further.

To sum up, art and music are important for children's growing up, and may help children to choose the direction of their occupation. On the other way, every student has the right to enjoy comprehensive education.

siehahaUID: 2668909

：）

淡笑KathyUID: 2708253

There is no census on whether the adult should set up a comprehensive curriculum for the children at the age of 5 to 10. In my view, I definitely support to offer art and music courses to the kids. (Census means an official count,especially of population, so i think it's no very appropriate to use it here)
First, children with that age background should touch every kind of knowledge, so it is the duty of education system to provide differing (diverse或various比较好)fields in which they are interested possibly（possibly应该放在are后面）. Kids at this age are just leaving their parents, and come into a strange （unfamiliar好点）environment that a lot of children can study and play together. That is a very important period when children start to learn to open their eyes to touch the whole world, and begin to abstract every interesting thing. That's to say, art and music, as well as math, science and history, will benefit them for construct a immature and developing world view, which plays an significant role in people's lives.（感觉要是能在段落一开头就抛出 topic sentence会比较好

What' more, the adult have no right to interfere children's interest. Every kid has the same right to choose what they really like. Some may like sports, some may prefer science, and some others may feel that music is their favorate, no matter they have these talents or not. Society should not simply suppose what will be beneficial to social welfare and impose these courses to students and eliminate others. Comprehensive education can offer students enough space to choose what they really like, and a proper hobby can help them build up a healthy personality.（这一段写得还不错，尤其是后半部分，但这一段最后一句提到build up a healthy personality，但LZ又没有给出detail去support它）

At last, children are the backbone of whole society in the further. After they grow up, they should fulfill the family obligation. They need to afford family cost, pay for the social insurance, and prepare children education funding for the next generation. That's to say, they need a reasonable salary, which can be offered in art and music fields. In this fast-paced society, art and must both are great methods for entertainment, while they also can create enough value in business field. So the basic knowledge about art and music may assist the students to obtain career opportunities in further.（最后一个观点有点牵强了，但想不到理由的适合也不失为一策，呵呵

To sum up, art and music are important for children's growing up, and may help children to choose the direction of their occupation. On the other way, every student has the right to enjoy comprehensive education. （最后一句最好还是回扣作文题目哈~加上：Therefore, young school children should be required to...)

总体来说，LZ的文章读起来挺流畅的，不错~~但感觉每一段的topic sentence和main idea都切入的比较慢，差不多到了文章中间才看到你要讲什么point, 建议第一句就抛出哈，毕竟老外毕竟straightforward嘛 呵呵 小小建议 一起加油~！

dy008UID: 2284812

At present, we can find a common phenomenon that many college students choose to take part-time jobs. Many people opposite this situation and worry the job would cost their a lot of
study time. In my view, I definitely agree with the statement that students should take part time job.



Firstly, there is no denying that tuition of every university is really high nowadays. Many students must shoulder the pressure of student loads, which can be a important negative factor for the quality of their learning. So part time job is a good opportunity for them to earn some money and ease their pressure. Normally the salary of part time job can cover a
big part of the cost, so it is really helpful and play an significant role in college life and may have a positive effect for students' study.



What's more, the experience is needed for those young people to prepare for further career. Admittedly, school is a good shelter and protects students from the crucial society. That's to say, many students may have no conception about how to live in a new environment that means pressure they never expected. So part time job can offer such a kind of experience that they can study how to face peer pressure, office politics, promotion competition, and learn communication skill, which is so important for their communication network. Students who take part time job will be a step ahead just at the starting point.



At last, in part time job, students will have the opportunity to review their career choices. Part time job is a good manner to absorb enough practical experience. In the usage of the knowledge from college, students can ask themselves that whether this job is really suit them or not. Louis Pasteur, "the most perfect man ever entered in the kingdom of science", was supposed to be a chemist. However, became a assistant in a medicine shop, he finally found in which he were really interested. So he had changed the direction of his life and spent all his life to fulfill his dream to create the first vaccine of rabies. The part time job experience can let people find the real goal of life.



To sum up, part time job is not only economically beneficial to students in university, but also a perfect path to touch the society and make preparation for further career. That's why I support this statement.

rainytungUID: 2859231

谁能告诉我回复怎么粘贴附件？
这个如果不好看清楚，修改的word版我发你邮箱~

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Many people opposite this situation [url=]and[/url][微软系统2]
worry the job would cost their a lot of
study time. In my view, I definitely agree with [url=]the statement[/url][微软系统3]
that students should take part time job.


Firstly, there is no denying that tuition of every university is really high nowadays. Many students must shoulder the pressure of student loads, which can be [url=]a[/url][微软系统4]
important negative factor for the quality of their learning. So part time job is a good opportunity for them to earn some money and ease their pressure. Normally the salary of part time job can cover a
big part of the cost, so it is really helpful and play [url=]an[/url][微软系统5]
significant role in college life and may have a positive effect for students' study.


What's more, the experience is needed for those young people to prepare for further career. Admittedly, school is a good shelter and protects students from the crucial society. That's to say, many students may have no conception about how to live in a new environment that means pressure they never expected. So part time job can offer such a kind of experience [url=]that they can study how to [/url][微软系统6]
face peer pressure, office politics, promotion competition, and learn communication skill, which [url=]is[/url][微软系统7]
so important for their communication network. Students who take part time job will be a step ahead just at the starting point.


At last, in part time job, students will have the opportunity to review their career choices. Part time job is a good [url=]manner[/url]

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to [url=]absorb[/url][微软系统9]
enough practical experience. In the usage of the knowledge from college, students can ask themselves that whether this job [url=]is really suit[/url][微软系统10]
them or not. Louis Pasteur, "the most perfect man ever entered in the kingdom of science", was supposed to be a chemist. However, [url=]became a assistant in a medicine shop[/url][微软系统11]
, he finally found in which he were really interested. So he had changed the direction of his life and spent all his life to fulfill his dream to create the first vaccine of rabies. The part time job experience can let people find the real goal of life.


To sum up, part time job is not only economically beneficial to students in university, but also a perfect path to touch the society and make preparation for further career. That's why I support this statement.


水平有限，如果有不妥之处，请见谅~
总的来说，表意清晰，但是个别论述段落不够严密有力，比如第二自然段，最好也是向三四段一样先旗帜鲜明提出正面观点，再展开论述。
加油加油!祝好成绩！！！

[微软系统1]可加however,提高连贯性
[微软系统2]Because they
[微软系统3]这个statement指的是积极意见，而前面所提是消极。所以表述有些跳跃
[微软系统4]An
[微软系统5]A
[微软系统6]Which help them to learn how to
[微软系统7]are
[微软系统8]个人觉得换成approach或way会好些
[微软系统9]个人觉得Enrich
[微软系统10]suit是动词
[微软系统11]这个如果做伴随状语，需要用分词结构

NO.xiaoyuyuUID: 2842596

不错啊 加油

dy008UID: 2284812

Nowadays, there is no denying that movies and TV programs have played a significant role in people's entertainment. From the internet, it is easier to watch programs from other countries and many guys believe foreign movies and programs are much more interesting. However, I definitely agree with the statement that those made in one's own country are more interesting.



First, foreign programs need to deal with the problem of culture difference between different countries. People from different area have their own customs, diverse social taste. That's to say, if a kind of TV program want to attract more attention in a country, a proper adjustment is needed. Take American Idol for instance, it is really popular in the USA, while in China it was not that succeed. So some TV stations created a Chinese version and add the PK step-what means direct competition among the participants-and finally they obtain a huge success. That is a good example to explain the importance of cultural gap in TV programs.



What's more, translation is also a crucial problem that blocks people to enjoy foreign TV programs. Since most audience do not understand a second language, it is hard for them to fully understand the sentences in programs that is really difficult to translate. For example, in the end of the famous TV series Prison Break, we can see "Be the change you want to see in the world" in hero's gravestone. So what is this sentence really mean? That's really hard for me to translate it for my mother. That's why I believe the foreign programs can not be attractive to many native citizens-if they don't know what the drama want to tell them, how they will feel the programs are interesting?



At last, movies and TV programs made in other countries contain a lot of historical events that is not familiar to us. There is a new movie called Hot Tub Time Machine, tells the story that four guys back to 1980s through a hot tub. In the middle of the movie, they show us a important and interesting clue to tell us they had went back——a read "Where is the beef" clothes. If audiences from other country do not hear about the famous TV commercial in that age, they can not understand the movie thoroughly, and they do not understand why the film is interesting.



To sum up, because of the gaps from culture, language and historical events, I prefer that movies and TV programs made in one's own countries are much interesting, for people can easily understand them deeply.