7.20 vivi凌

jiangskyskyUID：2478960

jiangskysky

psv1210UID：2754592

It has been a complicated issue that which kind of job can bring more sense of fulfillment to people, the one with more vacation time but a low salary or the one with a high salary but less vacation time?  The answer is various among different people with diverse backgrounds. As for me, I believe that the former is a better choice for the following toe reasons.3 ~2 o
; r9 L. b7 m- a
First and foremost, I claim that enough vacation time has tremendous（ly） positive impact on physical and mental health of people. In modern society, there is a trend of increasing rate of some diseases, such as obesity, high blood or depression, which comes (come)from lack of exercise and low spirit last for long period. Under this circumstance, vacation really plays an indispensible role in people’s life quality. By enjoying a wonderful vacation, people can relief their pressure which has accumulated during their work and daily life. & F4 M0 S, y. z

Secondly, V(v)acation contributes to a better relationship with families and friends. By having a long trip in several foreign cities, we can not only enjoy the process of learning new knowledge and (of)getting touch a different culture with our families and friends, we can get further learn about them or even can have a glance of their aspects which we haven’t found in daily life. (这段细节没有展开)#5 u

Finally, high salary doesn’t represent a high level of sense of accomplishment and satisfaction; in fact it sometimes brings more pressure and frustration rather than happiness. As we all know, all the people are inclined to compare themselves with the people around them. What’s worse, most people who earn relatively high salary show a stronger tendency in this respect. If a person can earn 5,000 Yuan per month, he must have some friends who can earn 10,000 Yuan per month. Thus he will （won’t）always feel that he doesn’t （去掉）perform well enough and need to be（去掉吧） more hard working. Even （if） he gain some achievements and improved his salary significantly, he will still feel unsatisfied since he begins to compare himself with another group of people who can earn more. He falls into a vicious circle.（这句不错）

All in all, I can draw the conclusion safely that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time since that enough vacation time has tremendous （ly）positive impact on physical and mental health of people and helps to build a better relationship （这个relationship和介词搭配的我一直觉得有问题）among families and friends. In addition, too high salary can sometimes bring more pressure and frustration rather than happiness.

观点明确，两个支持面好处和一个反对面坏处都出来了，要是能论述时多给些细节就更好了，结尾总结三个理由用词有点重复，可以多做同义替换。

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8.10


09.07.25NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

In nowadays China, aptitude of the public towards movies, music or TV programs have several apparent trends and people with different backgrounds can be divided into diverse groups according to their interests in these products. Consequently, I claim that it is a complicated issue weather movie and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries. In fact, it is answer is based on which group of people are the audience.

On one hand, I can get the conclusion form the phenomenon that cartoon from America and Japan is so popular in teenagers and the figure which shows that Hollywood movies sells twice as the Chinese ones that young people in Chinese prefer to watch foreign movies and TV programs. For example, some America TV programs，such as the Discovery, Gossip Girl or Prison Break, are very popular in students and young office workers. The prevalence of these programs results from wonderful and attractive plots and story with conflicts and surprise. In addition, compared to movies and TV programs made in China which shows us a familiar culture, ones made in other countries provide us a so fresh experience in different cultural tradition, custom and attitudes towards life that they have an irresistible appeal for Chinese young people. As for me, I love America movies more than Chinese ones since I want to learn more about the life of American, the rules and condition of US society, and at the same time, I get an opportunity to practice my listening English. Thus when I need to make a choice between Chinese movies or TV programs, I incline to enjoy foreign one rather than ones made in China.

On the other hand, middle aged and elderly people show a preference in Chinese movies and TV programs. They may not have so strong curiosity or interest in life and culture in another country. As a matter of fact, many of them hold negative attitudes towards some cultures from foreign country and disagree with some principles and attitudes showed in foreign movies or TV programs. According to a survey by Beijing television station in 2009, 87 percent people who are over forty years old tend to watch on Chinese programs and movies. For example, my mother loves some Chinese TV programs very much and often watched programs with her friends or my antes so that they can discuss the plot and character in it. In contrast, she dislike American movie at all because she claims that she can‘t understand the story sometimes and she don’t like some blood or violent scene in these movies.

All in all, I believe the question which movie and TV programs, the local ones or the foreign ones, are more popular in China is on a case-by-case basis. Among young people, the later seems more popular. While among middle aged and elderly people, the former one is more attractive and enjoyable.

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8月12日

09.08.01NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

It's has become a common phenomenon that workers invite to their bosses or students bring presents to their teachers in order to improve the relationship with their employers or superiors. In my view of point, these kinds of action are understandable and reasonable since the impression and understanding of their employers or superiors are very significant for them. In essence, by showing their employers or superiors their strengths and accomplishments, people will gain a large quantity of benefits.

First and foremost, it is the employers and supervisors who can provide you opportunity to promotion or chance of further study. In a word, they have a great impact on one's career direction and development. For example, my sister is a very excellent person who not only has a PhD degree in a famous university but also processes a high level of professional skill. While she couldn't get the promotion in office while others who entered the company at the same time have become managers. She realized her difficulties resulted from that she was too shy to talk to boss and didn't catch the chance to show her abilities. Thus she had a 2-hour long talk with her superiors and spent more time to let her superiors notice her and know her professional abilities. Finally, she got promotion and a chance to study in America.

What's more, influential people and celebrities help us to save a lot of time and energies in finding jobs or gaining success. As we all know, a reference from a CEO of an international cooperation contributes greatly to a college application. This is called celebrity effect. For the same reason, if a fresh singer can get approval and even praise from a super star, he or she may attract public's attention and more easily to sign contract with an entertainment company. According to a survey of China Music, 80 percent famous singers who owns two songs or more on Chinese bill board ever got help and introduction from their seniors. We can never overvalue the importance of other people, especially influential people or employers.

Admittedly, characters and skills of people are also crucial to their success and achievement. However，without assistance from other people, it's much more hard for them to success since we live in a social group.

All in all, I am prone to agree the opinion that impression and understanding of other people, especially influential people or employers, have vital influence on a person' career and life because that they have authority to judge your promotion and they can help to save time and energy.

lovesasa0820UID：2660864

19# liuxiaoyin
It's has become a common phenomenon that workers invite to their bosses or students bring presents to their teachers in order to improve the relationship with their employers or superiors. In my view of point, these kinds of action are understandable and reasonable since the impression and understanding of their employers or superiors are very significant for them. In essence, by showing their employers or superiors their strengths and accomplishments, people will gain a large quantity of benefits.# P1 h: T2 c/ k/ V' I

tFirst and foremost, it is the employers and supervisors who can provide you opportunity to promotion or chance of further study. In a word, they have a great impact on one's career direction and development. For example, my sister is a very excellent person who not only has a PhD degree in a famous university but also processes a high level of professional skill. While she couldn't get the promotion in office while others who entered the company at the same time have become managers. She realized her difficulties resulted from that she was too shy to talk to boss and didn't catch the chance to show her abilities. Thus she had a 2-hour long talk with her superiors and spent more time to let her superiors notice her and know her professional abilities. Finally, she got promotion and a chance to study in America.. z3 x'() F! D  X& ?, V,
(分论点明晰，例子贴切，描述的也不错，这段很好)
bWhat's more, influential people and celebrities help us to save a lot of time and energies in finding jobs or gaining success. As we all know, a reference from a CEO of an international cooperation contributes greatly to a college application. This is called celebrity effect. For the same reason, if a fresh singer can get approval and even praise from a super star, he or she may attract public's attention and more easily to sign contract with an entertainment company. According to a survey of China Music, 80 percent famous singers who owns two songs or more on Chinese bill board ever got help and introduction from their seniors. We can never overvalue the importance of other people, especially influential people or employers." P5 R( a$ w& S* W+ |
例子很好
Admittedly, characters and skills of people are also crucial to their success and achievement. However，without assistance from other people, it's much more hard for them to success since we live in a social group. / ?" I, E+ z% C& f6 W$ U
1 u8 g; ^: f' r" E: L# ]! E
All in all, I am prone to agree the opinion that impression and understanding of other people, especially influential people or employers, have vital influence on a person' career and life because that they have authority to judge your promotion and they can help to save time and energy.2 }6 J6 f+

在打发
总体额 的 z. Q; ]
总体的论点和语句都很好，感觉是考过G 的，就是文章可以再长点，再来个reason比较合适，字数400以上高分可能也就大点

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8.14
09.08.07NA      Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

It is common sense that Chinese parents make full time table and arrange life and study of their children. As a result, many children endure great pressure everyday and lack basic ability to take care of themselves. People with diverse backgrounds hold different opinions towards this phenomenon. In my perspective, parents should communicate with their children more and leave some free space rather than make all decisions for them.

First and foremost, only given enough freedom and authority could children become more sensible and mature. Some people may argue that children lack experience and can't view the problem from all angles, so parents should be the one who make decisions for them. However, as a proverb says, nobody can accompany you all the life. Children will grow to be an adult in future and they need to face difficulties and fierce competitions in society. When they need to counter crucial alternatives or deal with tough problem, they may feel helpless because of lack of experience. According to the Economy Research, one of the most popular Magazine in China，nearly 70 percent employers complain that fresh graduates lack common senses and are short of decision. In my view of point, parents' overprotection is one of vital reasons to bring about this situation.

What's more, parents' decision which comes from a good original intension always can't obtain desired effect since children don't understand the goal and have low passion and motive to perform these plans. I would like to take my little brother Tom as an example. My aunt loves piano very much and thus ordered Tom to attend piano class and practice piano at least two hours everyday. Nevertheless Tom really have no interest in piano even in music, so he lessened time of playing piano as much as he can and finally he quarreled with his mother. My aunt finally compromised to him and agreed not to interfere his interest any more. Afterwards Tom made a decision to play basketball and showed high intelligence in this game. Now Tom has become a key player in his school basketball team. In the case above, I can draw the conclusion safely that children who learn themselves most have right to decide their life and study. In addition, their interests and enthusiasm will also help to improve efficiency greatly.

Admittedly, in some conditions parents should force children to perform something which is necessary and important for children, but parents should spend more time to talk with children and persuade them to accept the arrangement. In other words, parents shouldn't decide something without making it clear to children.

All in all, through the above analysis I can claim safely that parents should give children right to make decision for their own things and leave them free space to arrange their life.

niunianUID：2864048

8.14  改好啦~~

ArantUID：2814596

改好了

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8月17号：
2008.5.16 NA
independently writing: 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects

As we all know, telephone and television which have brought tremendous benefits to public are meaningful and significant inventions. However, it is a complicated issue which one is more important and influential to society. In my view, it is unreasonable to figure out a better one since their functions and positive influences are showed in different aspects.

On one hand, saving communication time and reducing communication cost greatly, telephone improves communication efficiency. Through it, we can talk to anybody no matter where he or she is as long as that person has an available one. For example, 500 years ago, we might have to wait 20 days to get letter from our families or friends. During war time, it was a common case that horses ran thousands of miles continuously and finally died just for sending crucial information. In these days, communication cost is so high and contact method is low efficient. While communication difficulty is solved fundamentally since telephone is invented, we just need to press several buttons and can listen voice of others. In some cases, these improvements are of great significance. In 2008, a group of tourists encountered a typhoon in Atlantic Ocean. With the help of telephone, they told rescue team their positions and obtained relief. If they couldn't contact with outside world, 100 hundreds life would be in great danger.

On the other hand, television shows us a vivid world which not only broadens our horizons but also makes our life more colorful. In morning, I will open the television and listen to the news report. At noon, while I am having lunch, I tend to listen to some amusement program. This habit helps me to relax myself and improve the study efficiency at afternoon. After supper, I would like to watch favorite movies or soup opera with my families. We enjoy program together, discuss some hot topics and learn useful knowledge from these program. In my example television plays a so important and indispensable role in my daily life and I believe that many people are dependent on television similarly.

All in all, through the above analysis, I can draw the conclusion safely that both television and telephone have tremendous effects on human beings. Telephone improves the communication efficiency, while television broadens our horizons and provides us new ways of entertainment.

lxg198607UID：2564115

晕楼主名字的前两个字跟我居然一样的。。
As we all know, telephone and television which have brought tremendous benefits to public are meaningful and significant inventions. However, it is a complicated issue (中间少了点什么吧，to say)which one is more important and influential to society. In my view, it is unreasonable to figure out a better one since their functions and positive influences are showed in different aspects.

On the one hand, saving communication time and reducing communication cost greatly, telephone improves communication efficiency. Through it, we can talk to anybody no matter where he or she is as long as that person has an available one. For example, 500 years ago, we might have to wait 20 days to get letter from our families or friends. During war time, it was a common case that horses ran thousands of miles continuously and finally died just for sending crucial information. In these days, communication cost is so high and contact method is low efficient. While communication difficulty is solved fundamentally since telephone is invented, we just need to press several buttons and can listen (hear)voice of others. In some cases, these improvements are of great significance. In 2008, a group of tourists encountered a typhoon in Atlantic Ocean. With the help of telephone, they told rescue team their positions and obtained relief. If they couldn't contact with outside world, 100 hundreds life would be in great danger.


On the other hand, television shows us a vivid world which not only broadens our horizons but also makes our life more colorful. In （the）morning, I will （去掉）open the television and listen to the news report. At noon, while I am having lunch, I tend to listen to some amusement program. This habit helps me to relax myself and improve the study efficiency at afternoon. After supper, I would like to watch favorite movies or soup opera with my families. We enjoy program together, discuss some hot topics and learn useful knowledge from these program. In my example television plays a so important and indispensable role in my daily life and I believe that many people are dependent on television similarly. $ f:
楼主写得不错， 但关于楼主问的哪个问题本人也不太清楚，看书上说最好要偏向一方，但你这种究竟行不行，谁也不知道啊。。
All in all, through the above analysis, I can draw the conclusion safely that both television and telephone have tremendous effects on human beings. Telephone improves the communication efficiency, while television broadens our horizons and provides us new ways of entertainment.

cairen1986UID：2599310

K- k3 T& ]0 R
As we all know, telephone and television which have brought tremendous benefits to public are meaningful and significant inventions. However, it is a complicated issue (少宾语，意思就没有说完)which one is more important and influential to society. In my view, it is unreasonable to figure out a better one since their functions and positive influences are showed in different aspects.

D& }! M/ X8 c
On the one hand, saving communication time and reducing communication cost greatly, telephone improves communication efficiency. Through it, we can talk to anybody no matter where he or she is as long as that person has an available one. For example, 500 years ago, we might have to wait 20 days to get letter from our families or friends. During war time, it was a common case that horses ran thousands of miles continuously and finally died just for sending crucial information. In these days, communication cost is so high and contact method is low efficient. While communication difficulty is solved fundamentally since telephone is invented, we just need to press several buttons and can listen voice of others. In some cases, these improvements are of great significance. In 2008, a group of tourists encountered a typhoon in Atlantic Ocean. With the help of telephone, they told rescue team their positions and obtained relief. If they couldn't contact with outside world, 100 hundreds life would be in great danger./ p+ Q: x  }  C  a. u; {


On the other hand, television shows us a vivid world which not only broadens our horizons but also makes our life more colorful. In （the）morning, I will open the television and listen to the news report. At noon, while I am having lunch, I tend to listen to some amusement program. This habit helps me to relax myself and improve the study efficiency at afternoon. After supper, I would like to watch favorite movies or soup opera with my families. We enjoy program together, discuss some hot topics and learn useful knowledge from these program. In my example television plays a so important and indispensable role in my daily life and I believe that many people are dependent on television similarly. $ f:

All in all, through the above analysis, I can draw the conclusion safely that both television and telephone have tremendous effects on human beings. Telephone improves the communication efficiency, while television broadens our horizons and provides us new ways of entertainment.
楼主写的不错，值得学习

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8月21日交
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits

In modern society, many people surfer from obesity, hypertension or heart diseases because of unhealthy eating habits. This phenomenon has become more and more serious and should be resolved as soon as possible. But why people develop this harmful eating habit? People with diverse background hold different ideas. As for me, I claim that advertising is the most significant factor for this phenomenon.

First and foremost, as we all know, most of advertisers are likely to publicize and advocate unhealthy food only if they are paid enough money. Lacking of strong sense of moral and legal constraints, advertisers who pursue profit maximization tend not to select advertising targets. They can introduce new kind of ice cream or chips on television to children without warning the high calorie of these food. As a result, children will buy their product and gradually develop the unhealthy eating habit. Besides children, many adults are inevitably influenced by advertising in their eating habit. For example, there are many win or bill commercials in China. These advertisements have enhanced and worsened alcoholism problem since they always claim that the more a person drink, more sincere he or she is.

What's more, as one of important media tools, advertisement has undoubtedly tremendous impacts on public. In fact, a commercial can lead a trend. For example, KFC, who mainly sell unhealthy fast, have entered China and spread throughout country within 10 years. Maybe its popularity results from many factors, but successful and skillful advertising is the first reason. KFC advertises its product in main channels and frequently introduces its new food. Consequently, many children form a preference to it and eat there together. As a Chinese proverb says, if six out of ten go fishing, three of the rest will follow to fish too. Advertisement brings such effect so that it makes unhealthy food more popular and accelerates formation of unhealthy eating habit.

All in all, after the detailed analysis above, I can draw the conclusion safely that advertising is the most significant factor for unhealthy eating habit for two reasons. Firstly, most of advertisers publicize and advocate junk food as long as they have received enough payment. Secondly, advertisement has undoubtedly tremendous impacts on public and enhancing prevalence of unhealthy food.

cairen1986UID：2599310

In modern society, many people surfer from obesity, hypertension or heart diseases because of unhealthy eating habits. This phenomenon has become more and more serious and should be resolved as soon as possible.(表达很好) But why people develop this harmful eating habit? People with diverse background hold different ideas. As for me, I claim that advertising is the most significant factor for this phenomenon.2 }" ?5 M) a: ]2

l" v( G
( K! W. s4 h. x8 ]5 g- i$ W
First and foremost, as we all know, most of advertisers are likely to publicize and advocate unhealthy food only if they are paid enough money. Lacking of strong sense of moral and legal constraints, advertisers who pursue profit maximization tend not to select advertising targets. They can introduce new kind of ice cream or chips on television to children without warning the high calorie of these food. As a result, children will buy their product and gradually develop the unhealthy eating habit. Besides children, many adults are inevitably influenced by advertising in their eating habit. For example, there are many win or bill commercials in China. These advertisements have enhanced and worsened alcoholism problem since they always claim that the more a person drink, more sincere he or she is. （表达的层次感好）

k  R& i* Y; n6 }/ o: e
What's more, as one of important media tools, advertisement has undoubtedly tremendous impacts on public. In fact, a commercial can lead a trend. For example, KFC, who mainly sell unhealthy fast, have entered China and spread throughout country within 10 years. Maybe its popularity results from many factors, but successful and skillful advertising is the first reason.（这句转折的不好，前半句貌似没有说清楚，就转折了。） KFC advertises its product in main channels and frequently introduces its new food. Consequently, many children form a preference to it and eat there together. As a Chinese proverb says, if six out of ten go fishing, three of the rest will follow to fish too. Advertisement brings such effect so that it makes unhealthy food more popular and accelerates formation of unhealthy eating habit.

All in all, after the detailed analysis above, I can safely draw the conclusion （safely ）that advertising is the most significant factor for unhealthy eating habit for two reasons. Firstly, most of advertisers publicize and advocate junk food as long as they have received enough payment. Secondly, advertisement has undoubtedly tremendous impacts on public and enhancing prevalence of unhealthy food.

写的很好，学习了，文章中仅有一些小的问题 good

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

8月31日交
09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

It is a complicated issue weather students should be required to study art and music besides their major courses. People with different background hold various opinions on it. Some claim that art and music courses are waste of time to students, while others refute that these course can bring tremendous benefits to students which we can't obtain from main courses. In my point of view, I agree with the later one for several reasons.

First and foremost, I concede that art and music courses contribute to broadening our friend circles, which are of great significance to our work and life. As a Chinese proverb says, interest gathers friends. In my University, there are about one hundreds associations, including more than 50 clubs which are built up based on the same interest. These clubs provide opportunity to acknowledge fellows with various majors from different provinces in our country make friends with them and attend many interesting activities and games. To take me as an example, I attend music club and meet one of my best friends. Music provides us common topics, leads to easier communication and thus strengthens our friendship. In a word, music makes my college more colorful. If I haven't had music classes before, I will lose much fun and pass the chances to meet many pretty persons.

What's more, music and art courses lead to a healthy lifestyle and help to develop positive attitude towards difficulties. In modern society, people pay their attention mainly on earning money and leave less leisure time for their families and themselves. As a result, the rates of some physical and mental diseases, such as obesity, hypertension and depression increase dramatically. Under this circumstance, music and art play an important role in improving our life quality. According to a report published by Chinese Science, people who always enjoy music, paintings or opera are less likely to get depression and insomnia. The art and music classes guide us how to judge evalue perfect products and even how to compose them, tutoring us how to enjoy ourselves and keep in good mood.

From what has been discussed, we may come to conclude that music and art courses definitely beneficial to our work and life, because it broadens our friend circles and leads to a healthy lifestyle and encourages a positive attitude to stress. For this reason, music and art classes should be promoted rather than avoided.

雲靉玥UID：2888572

10-8-31改完~
是不是有点跑题了？只写了music和art，还有其他学科的啊。
除此之外总体还不错，写的很具体，然后大概就跳出这么多错了，咱尽力了恩~加油！


It is a complicated issue that whether students should be required to study art and music besides their major courses or not. People with different background hold various opinions on it. Some claim that art and music courses are waste of time for students, while others refute that these course can bring tremendous benefits to students (放句尾比较好吧) which we（注意人称，应该是they） can't (cannot) obtain from main courses. In my point of view, I agree with the later one for several reasons.

First and foremost, I concede that art and music courses contribute to broadening our friend circles, which are of great significance to our work and life. As a Chinese proverb says, interest gathers friends. In my University, there are about one hundreds associations, including more than 50 clubs which are built up based on the same interest. These clubs provide opportunity to acknowledge fellows with（in） various majors from different provinces in our country（放在后面them那里） make friends with them and attend many interesting activities and games. To（删） take me as an example, I attend music club and meet（过去式） one of my best friends. Music provides us common topics, leads to easier communication, and thus, it strengthens our friendship. In a word, music makes my college more colorful. If I haven't had music classes before, I will lose much fun and pass the chances to meet many pretty persons.

What's more, music and art courses lead to a healthy lifestyle and help to develop a positive attitude towards difficulties. In modern society, people pay their attention mainly on earning money and leave less leisure time(删) for their families and themselves. As a result, the rates of some physical and mental diseases, such as obesity, hypertension and depression increase dramatically. Under this circumstance, music and art play an important role in improving our life quality. According to a report published by Chinese Science, people who always enjoy music, paintings or opera are less likely to get depression and insomnia. The art and music classes guide us how to judge evalue（？还是删掉吧…） perfect products and even how to compose them, tutoring us how to enjoy ourselves and keep in good mood.

From what has been discussed, we may（can） come to conclude（a conclusion） that music and art courses definitely beneficial to our work and life, because it broadens our friend circles and（,） leads to a healthy lifestyle and encourages a positive attitude to stress. For this reason, music and art classes should be promoted rather than avoided.