第一篇ISSUE,130题,欢迎拍砖欢迎讨论

美丽太阳花UID: 2798404

The social problems that children socialization and children education are so much concerned that a wide discussion has been aroused. In taking many factors into account, I agree that children socialization is very important, but obviously there are many other dimensions to measure our society, and our education has great progress to teach our children which can build our community.

Children is our future, they are the sun in the morning, bringing us vitality and energy. With the quantum leaps in our society, children must socialize in order to keep the pace with this change and meet the demand of society. Compared with the old days, children in modern society are more capable. They educate in their ages, know how to take care of oneself; they learn how to manage finances, cooperate with others; they get social cognition and so on. All these have laid the foundation for the formation of values, the duty of society and morality which would adapt to the society better, since it is difficult for him to produce brilliant values in an isolate status.

However, as far factors defining our society it includes many others, such as famous politicians, scientists, enterprisers which promote the historical steps. For instance, Franklin Roosevelt led the Americans to overcome Nazism, which saved democracy, freedom and the base of economic; the scientist Von Neumann served as a key in the computers who was the father of computers, he initiated modern computer theory, providing the basis for large-scale application; Henry Ford, the origination of Ford company, making the possible that every family could have a car which supplied convenience to traveling.

Considering the other claim that we need think that how to define "the better society". Does it mean just the increasing of GPA, more companies and skyscrapers, more socialization? I reckon that a society which citizen can be defined by greater tolerance of different culture, values, education; greater respect for individual rights; cooperation with others and broad horizons is our goal.

The fact shows that we have educated our children to bring a better society. We have seen our society is sensitive to ensure public health by policing the food and drug industries, protect our natural environment and improve the standard of living. We can see these young people are more sensitive to and respectful of the rights of women, various ethnic and races. We can see our governmen try to have a  better medical care, public education and environment protection.For instance,Buch Adminstration passed a law which is No One Child Left Behind Act;American Women Protection Act is against domestical violentce.

Each moment in history is a fleeting time, previous and unique. From the ancient to the 21st century, our humans keep achieving many accomplishments, even though it is undeniable that our education has many problems which need further progress, we still see that we have gradually learned how to build a better society.                               

zhangjunzjUID: 2658970

Children is our future, they are the sun in the morning,中国特色。
从这篇文中可以看出楼主的英语基础不是太高，特别是对长句的把握不好，句子间的连接也不自然，均以简单短句为主。但这还不是最大的问题。我认为你最大的问题在于思路不是很清，想到哪里写到哪里，论点和中心都不突出，建议楼主先好好看看北美范文，看看人家的文章是怎么写的，自已在模仿练习。至于句法和言语分一日之寒，还是集中在思路和观点的表达上吧。
毕竟是第一次嘛，多写写就好了。希望再接再厉。

美丽太阳花UID: 2798404

2# zhangjunzj
嗯，正在慢慢练习
谢谢你