寄托天下
查看: 1496|回复: 6

[i习作temp] issue121 【ForOneReason小组1】7.22 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
5
寄托币
111
注册时间
2009-3-14
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-7-22 23:04:00 |显示全部楼层
The author argued that since natural extinction happens all the time in the long river of nature history, human beings should not make extraordinary efforts for endangered species, which I strongly disapproved.
It is true that the nature has made its own choice in deciding which specie would survive, and many of the species that fail the nature's tests just disappear like a droplet in an ocean. But the human choice is quite a different and horrible process. In the modern world, human beings try to exploit almost every living thing. We even do not feel much shocked when we are told that a tiger in a zoo died in hunger and were eaten by some officers who supervise the zoo, which is a real event in some city of China. Let alone the well known cruelty that some mindless people get the bale of living bears and make the bears live a life more desperate than death. In such human choice process, a distinction of a specy is not because of the uncapability of its way of surviving in nature, but because of its economical value for mankind. If the society do not make efforts to protect them, they would extinct so innocently.
Some people may argue that a great cost of money and jobs is not needed. They compare the generic lost of animals and plants with the hungery human families and get the conclusion that we should pay more attention to rescue ourselves rather than some irrelevent creatures. However, the caculation of cost is not easy. It seperates human from other species in the biometric circle while all species actually have mutual relationship and effects. It is hard to predict which extinction would not effect we human survival. What's more, a specific genre may help human significantly in mechanical researches and save thousands of lives in the future. Thus actually what seems a great cost may become insignificant compared to its potential benefits for mankind, but you can not calculate it currently.
Even if what we rescue is really valueless for human, we
*****************************************************************************************************************
would still benefit from our own kindness. If a person is considerate for other creatures, he can not be too hard to his fellow human beings. A society composed of such benevolent individuals would be filled with gratitude and love, and we human would enjoy the fruits ourselves.
However we can not deny that we can not help all creatures even we invested all our resources and time against extinction. Thus we should spend more attention on some species so that our effort would come into effect instead of ending in vain.
Thus I think we should take every effort in rescuing the animals.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
71
注册时间
2010-7-16
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-7-22 23:45:56 |显示全部楼层
The author argued that since natural extinction happens all the time in the long river of nature history, human beings should not make extraordinary efforts for endangered species, which I strongly disapproved.(这句话的时态我想探讨一下 为什么选的过去式 加 现在时)
It is true that the nature has made its own choice in deciding which specie would survive, and many of the species that fail the nature's tests just disappear like a droplet in an ocean(水滴在海洋中仍然存在 并非消失). But the human choice is quite a different and horrible process. In the modern world, human beings try to exploit almost every living thing. We even do not feel much shocked when we are told that a tiger in a zoo died of hunger and were eaten by some officers who supervise the zoo, which is a real event in some city of China. Let alone the well known cruelty that some mindless people get the bale of living bears and make the bears live a life more desperate than death. In such human selection, a distinction of a species is not because of the uncapability of its way of surviving in nature, but because of its economical value for mankind. If the society do not make efforts to protect them, they would extinct so innocently.
Some people may argue that a great cost of money and jobs is not needed. They compare the generic lost of animals and plants with the hungery human families and get(lead to) the conclusion that we should pay more attention to rescue ourselves rather than some irrelevent creatures. However, the caculation of cost is not easy. It seperates human from other species in the biometric circle (biosphere)while all species actually have mutual relationship and effects. It is hard to predict which extinction would not effect we human survival. What's more, a specific genre may help human significantly in mechanical researches and save thousands of lives in the future. Thus actually what seems a great cost may become insignificant compared to its potential benefits for mankind, but you can not calculate it currently.
Even if what we rescue is really valueless for human, we
*****************************************************************************************************************
would still benefit from our own kindness. If a person is considerate for other creatures, he can not be too hard to his fellow human beings. A society composed of such benevolent individuals would be filled with gratitude and love, and we human would enjoy the fruits ourselves.(这一部分感觉有些牵强)
However we can not deny that we can not help all creatures even we invested all our resources and time against extinction. Thus we should spend more attention on some(some of\certain specific) species so that our effort would come into effect instead of ending in vain.
Thus I think we should take every effort in rescuing the animals.
组长对语言的驾驭能力果然很强,榜样哈~本文首先论证人为因素造成了严重后果而且亟待解决,其次阐明抢救濒危物种很值得(从环境上 对人类的贡献和影响上 和培养人的大爱精神上) 最后针对于“resources and time”的量进行补充说明,思路清晰。但是没有看到结尾段,不知到是不是必备总结段落?另外关于“很值得”的论证我认为不是特别有力度,需要完善,考虑很周到,但每一条不够convincing   个人观点 欢迎探讨~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
254
注册时间
2010-2-5
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-7-23 00:39:41 |显示全部楼层
The author argued that since natural extinction happens all the time in the long river of nature history, human beings should not make extraordinary efforts for endangered species, which I strongly disapproved.
It is true that the nature has made its own choice in deciding which specie would survive, and many of the species that fail the nature's tests just disappear like a droplet in an ocean. But the human choice is quite a different and horrible process. In the modern world, human beings try to exploit almost every living thing. We even do not feel much shocked when we are told that a tiger in a zoo died in hunger and were eaten by some officers who supervise the zoo, which is a real event in some city of China. Let alone the well known cruelty that some mindless people get the bale(不懂) of living bears and make the bears live a life more desperate than death. In such human choice process, a distinction of a specy is not because of the uncapability of its way of surviving in nature, but because of its economical value for mankind. If the society do not make efforts to protect them, they would extinct so innocently.
Some people may argue that a great cost of money and jobs is not needed. They compare the generic lost of animals and plants with the hungery human families and get the conclusion that we should pay more attention to rescue ourselves rather than some irrelevent creatures. However, the caculation of cost is not easy.(很好! 体现了issue本身的复杂性) It seperates human from other species in the biometric circle while all species actually have mutual relationship and effects. It is hard to predict which extinction would not effect we human survival. What's more, a specific genre may help human significantly in mechanical researches and save thousands of lives in the future. Thus actually what seems a great cost may become insignificant compared to its potential benefits for mankind, but you can not calculate it currently.
Even if what we rescue is really valueless for human, we
*****************************************************************************************************************
would still benefit from our own kindness. If a person is considerate for other creatures, he can not be too hard to his fellow human beings. A society composed of such benevolent individuals would be filled with gratitude and love, and we human would enjoy the fruits ourselves.
However we can not deny that we can not help all creatures even we invested all our resources and time against extinction. Thus we should spend more attention on some species so that our effort would come into effect instead of ending in vain.
Thus I think we should take every effort in rescuing the animals.

思路很清楚~~不过要还能加入人类做得还很不足这一点就更好了 另外人类选择影响其它只论述经济利益部分有些欠缺,毕竟还有global warming之类
我真的觉得限时的情况下写成这样我要膜拜了。
1# 梦的溪夜

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
67
注册时间
2009-9-7
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-7-23 15:31:29 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Amanda19620701 于 2010-7-23 15:40 编辑

The author argued that since natural extinction happens allthe time in the long river of nature history,human beings should not make extraordinary efforts for endangered species,which I strongly disapproved.
It is true that the nature has made its own choice in deciding which speciewould survive, and many of the species that fail thenature's tests just disappear like a droplet in an ocean.(同意一楼的看法) But the humanchoice is quite a different and horrible process. In the modern world, humanbeings try to exploit almost every living thing to satisfy our own demand . We even do not feelmuch shocked(seem to be indifferent) whenwe are told that a tiger in a zoo died in hunger and were eaten by someofficers who supervise the zoo, which is a real event(actually happened) in some city of China. Let alone the well known cruelty that
(不some mindless people getthe bale of living bears and make the bears live a life more desperate thandeath.(是用什方式熊熊生不如死的?In such humanchoice process, a distinction of a specy is not because of the uncapability of its way of surviving in nature, but because of its economical value for mankind.(the reason that adistinction of a certain species is not the uncapability of its way ofsurviving in nature,but its economical value for mankind) If the society do not make efforts to protectthem, they would extinct so innocently.
Some people may argue that a great cost of moneyand jobs(
怎么讲,是要说创造工作的成本?)is not needed. They compare the generic lost of animals and plants with the hungery human families(the familes suffering from hunger) and get the conclusion that we should pay moreattention to rescue ourselves rather than
some irrelevent creatures(some creatures which they claim
to be irrelevant to their lives)
. However, the caculation of cost isnot easy. It seperates human from other species in the biometric circle while allspecies actually have mutual relationship and effects. It is hard to predict which extinction would not effect we human survival.(whether theextinction of an species would affect the survival of we human beings or not)What's more, a specific genre may help human significantly in mechanicalresearches and save thousands of lives in the future. Thus, actually what seemsa great cost may become insignificant compared to its potential benefits formankind, but you can not calculate it currently.
Even if what we rescue is really valueless for human, we would still benefit from our own kindness. If a person is considerate for othercreatures, he can not be too hard to his fellow human beings. A society composed of such benevolent individuals would be filled with gratitude andlove, and we human would enjoy the fruits ourselves.
However we can not denythat we can not
,it is beyond our abillities to help all creatures even weinvested all our resources and time against extinction. Thus we should spend more attention on some species so that our effort would come into effectinstead of ending in vain.
Thus
好像用的有点多,不如改成Therefore或者In sum I think we should take every effort in rescuing theanimals.
主的文章得不,尤其是在45分时间思出一完整的体系,的确不容易。有一点需要提一下,目貌似说灭绝,而出的例子似乎都是在少老虎或者熊的量,并没有提到灭绝,如果能有一为灭绝例就完美了。之是篇不的文章,下~(有些文章中的言的排列我自作主的改了下,希望见谅哈~)
PS:偶不是组员,如果组长觉得合适的话可以加偶一个~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
20
注册时间
2010-7-24
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-7-24 22:14:39 |显示全部楼层
已提议为解答Vegan Fanatic23小时38分钟前

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
5
寄托币
111
注册时间
2009-3-14
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-7-25 11:03:07 |显示全部楼层
额,没看懂,是说什么意思? 5# 树熊的大树

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
5
寄托币
111
注册时间
2009-3-14
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-7-25 11:04:17 |显示全部楼层
呵呵,谢谢你的修改~很细心哦~如果你有诚意加入,可以在晚上10:30前做好今日作业,并联系huohuo加入互改顺序。群号我会在晚上前告诉你~ 4# Amanda19620701

使用道具 举报

RE: issue121 【ForOneReason小组1】7.22 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
issue121 【ForOneReason小组1】7.22
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1126939-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部