niunian的作文本

niunianUID: 2864048

7.24  作文互改组作业，  迟交了，没有分到组，希望大家帮忙看下



Do you agree or disagree with the satement ?sports teach people lessons about life


Form my point of view ,I agree with the satement that sports teach people lessons about life . by taking part into sports activities we could not only cultivate a strong belief but also learn how to make friends and even be much smarter.
First and formost ,the process of taking a kind of sport is a process of insisting and bearing the hardships if we try to do well in it. Time and effort are needed to spare into it .on this case ,it is somewhat easy to give up .the famous athlete Lance Armstrong is my favorite ones .In the year of 1996 ,he was diagnosed with testicular cancer ,which would kill him easily .What surprise us is that ,he did not give his favoriat activity .aftering a long term of treatment ,he overcome the disease and, what is more ,he come back to the field again .He went on to win the Tour de France each year from 1999 to 2005,and he is the only person to win seven times. His spirit of fighting for the disease and insisting on his dream for sports inspired many people in our dailylife .We should stick on that wisdom that “life is full of challenge ,the one can success is the one can insist on his dream”.
Secondly ,nearly all kinds of sports is taken by more than two people ,for instance,basketball and football are taken by eleven and five respectively . So taking part into sports activities teach us lessons on how to deal with different kinds of people and what we should do to make a team work efficiently. Sports needs cooperation ,and even competition .In a baskeball team ,we get to know our teammates and we try to do well in each game . We pass the ball to our teammates and after a series of close our team win the game。Another aspect is that ,during the process ,we could see “competition” much more clearly than in dailylife. Each game is a compeition ,as a qualified sportman ,we should hold on the opinion that fairly competion is better for all of us . and we should keep in mind
the old saying, “we must accept finite disappintment , but we must never lose infinite hope” . that maybe put into use in all aspects of our life .
Based on the statement above ,sports means significant part in our life .we should not only treat it as a way to improve our body ,what’s more ,we need to think more about the relationship between sports and our life and gain what it offers us .

niunianUID: 2864048

7.27     Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits/ _4 R( Z+ F3 [5 N/ T5 y


Nowdays ,people’s obesity , high pressure of blood and a serious of other physical problems demonstrate that we are surffering from unhealthy eating habits. Even though advertising plays a tremendous role in the cause ，however the reason for our unhealty eating habitat is complicated which can not be attributed to the great variety of it only.
Other reasons such as fast pace of society , avalanches of food production ,and our own awearness of eating habits may need us pay much attention to .
First and firmost ,our people ,no matter how old we are ,are somewhat enforced by the strained life and work environment .we are in a high great pace .Teenages are at a great pressure to deal with their exam and variable competition ,meanwhile ,adults are in a hurry to finish works and are always in a stress to be competitive for a better work .In such circumstance ,everyone is in a hurry and at a great pressure ,so it is obvious that a great proportion of people ignore their healty ;let alone, pay attention to their eating habits.
A statistic demonstrates that nearly 62.5percent of workers are willing to take the fast food rather than make meal themselves .What is more ,when they are busy ,that proportion goes to 85.6percent .

What is more ,our eating habit is greatly influencd by food produciton.We are offered with so many food that we can’t resist to the tempetations . In a small supermarket , there may have ten or more kinds of candys on sale with gracious pack which are attractive to children expecially . When we are wondering which one to choose ,the food companies are on the way to looking for some foodstuff which can attract much more potential customs . Therfore we are addicted to different kinds of dilicious food without thinking about healthy habits .

Not the external elements but also the internal factor that brings about the eating problems .We are unwilling to pay much attention on what we should eat and what we should’t eat.One reason is that it cost us so much time to work out a health eating diet .A large range of people are willing to use the time to do some program .Another aspect is a healthy eating diet is a long-time progress ,we could not predit the result immediately .Thus ,it is easily to loss people’s attention .
All in all ,athough advertising attract us to various kinds of food and lead our eating habits to a unhealth direction ,we should see it clearly that our eating diets are effected by both the external and the internal elements .Ａ dialetic thinking ablitiy is needed when talk about the cause and effect relaitonship .Only by improve our awarness of eating habits ,can we really solve the unhealty problems.

xqsissyUID: 2812149

Nowadays, people’s obesity,high pressure of blood and a serious of other physical problems demonstratethat we are suffering from unhealthy eating habits. Even though advertisingplays a tremendous role in the cause, the reason for our unhealthy eatinghabitat is complicated which can not be attributed to the great variety of itonly.) |+ L; K5 T3 Z! X; X# ~




Other reasons such as fast pace of society,avalanches of food production ,production, and our own awareness of eatinghabits may need us pay much attention to .


First and firmest ,our people ,no matter how old we are,are somewhat enforced by the strained life and work environment .we are in ahigh great pace .Teenagers are at a great pressure to deal with their exams andvariable competitions ,meanwhile, adults are in a hurry to finish works and arealways in a stress to be competitive for a better job.In such circumstance,everyone is in a hurry and at a great pressure ,so it is obvious that a greatproportion of people ignore their healthy ;let alone, pay attention to theireating habits.+ t  c!K  k8 _/ K  y) x- `


A statistic demonstrates that nearly 62.5percentof workers are willing to take the fast food rather than to make mealthemselves .What is more ,when they are busy ,that proportion goes to85.6 percent .



What is more ,our eating habit is greatly influenced byfood produciton. We are offered with so many food that we can’t resist to the temptations. In a small supermarket , there may have ten or more kinds of candy on salewith gracious packs which are attractive to children especially . When we arewondering which one to choose ,the food companies are on the way to look forsome foodstuffs which can attract much more potential customs . Therefore weare addicted to different kinds of delicious foods without thinking abouthealthy habits .


& V: @$ Z/ i% U. N  ^9 J! F( U0 f" |
Not the external elements but also the internal factorsthat bring about the eating problems .We are unwilling to pay much attention onwhat we should eat and what we shouldn’t eat.One reason is that it cost us somuch time to work out a health eating diet .A large range of people are willingto use the time to do some programs .Another aspect is a healthy eating diet isa long-time progress ,we could not predict the result immediately .Thus ,it iseasily to loss people’s attention .


All in all ,although advertising attracts us to variouskinds of food and leads our eating habits to a unhealthy direction ,we shouldsee it is clearly that our eating diets are effected by both the external andthe internal elements .Ａ
dialectic thinking abilityis needed when talk about the cause-effect
relationships .Only by improving our awareness of eatinghabits ,can we really solve the unhealthy problems.
6 v: X) ~


整体很好，思路很清晰，论证很明确。只是有些单词拼写有误，还有单复数已经ing. 过渡词汇用的很好，我觉得很不错了！
2# niunian

serena-blueUID: 2811284

7.27     Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits/ Nowdays(nowadays) ,people’s obesity , high pressure of blood (high blood pressure)and a serious (series)of other physical problems demonstrate that we are surffering from unhealthy eating habits. Even though advertising plays a tremendous role in the cause(删除） ，however （even though和however任选一个）the reason for our unhealty eating habitat（habits) is complicated which can not be attributed to the great variety of it only(此处的用法不是很理解）. Other reasons such as fast pace of society , avalanches of food production ,and our own awearness of eating habits may need us pay much （+more) attention to .- M, e0 h$ ?: Q9 W0 r9 P/ i First and firmost ,our people (这个用法不确定是否正确）,no matter how old we are ,are somewhat enforced by the strained life and work environment .we are in a high great pace .Teenages are at a great pressure to deal with their exam(s) and variable(various types of) competition ,meanwhile ,adults are in a hurry to finish works and are always in a stress to be competitive for a better work .In such circumstance ,everyone is in a hurry and at a great pressure ,so it is obvious that a great proportion of people ignore their healty(health) ;let (it)alone, and pay(no) attention to their eating habits./ u5 N" q9 w! c1 f( _; Z, W A statistic demonstrates(Data show) that nearly 62.5percent of workers are willing to take the fast food rather than make(making) meal(s) themselves .What is more(worse或许更好） ,when they are busy ,that proportion goes to 85.6percent . J8 k0 @: X" }3 M7 [5 o What is more ,our eating habit is greatly influencd by food produciton.We are offered with so many（much) food that we can’t resist to the tempetations . In a small supermarket , there may have(are probably) ten or more kinds of candys on sale with gracious pack(candys delicately packed on sale) which are expecially attractive to children  . When we are wondering which one to choose ,the food companies as re on the way to looking for some foodstuff which can attract much more potential customs(customers) . Therfore(therefore) we are addicted to different kinds of dilicious (delicious)food without thinking about healthy habits .! o" E& z1 u! g! R+ Z6 V8 P. a . R8 y7 v* c/ x) \( I# g) _ Not the external elements but also the internal factor that brings about the eating problems .We are unwilling to pay much attention on what we should eat and what we should’t eat.One reason is that it cost(s) us so much time to work out a health eating diet .A large range of people are (is)willing to use the time to do some program .Another aspect is a healthy eating diet is a long-time progress ,we could not predit the result immediately .Thus ,it is easily (easy)to loss people’s attention . All in all ,athough advertising attract(s) us to various kinds of food and lead(s) our eating habits to a unhealth direction ,we should see it clearly that our eating diets are effected by both the external and the internal elements .Ａ dialetic thinking ablitiy is needed when(we)talk about the cause and effect relaitonship .Only by improve(improving） our awarness of eating habits ,can we really solve the unhealty problems（problems of unhealthy eating habits). 首先很抱歉现在才修改，不好意思啊。。。 文章的论证比较充分，但是要稍微注意一下拼写的问题。。 最后结尾提出了要注意表面和内在的问题，如果能在开头也提出来，首尾呼应就更好了。 呵呵，修改不当之处，请原谅。。。

serena-blueUID: 2811284

这是我7-27号的作文，请多多指教啦^_^
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;extra=&page=1
16楼

niunianUID: 2864048

7.29
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

Nowadays ,the gradutates are facing the problems to chose a job .Because of lacking experiment and practical knowledge ,they are woudering which job is the most suitable one .Some case shows that nearly 56percent of people are not satisfing with their firt job ,and are easily to feel down in social life .Simultaneously we need to take a long term career for a steady life . Therefore ,to avoiding  making mistakes and feeling  regret,we should try several different jobs before taking a long term career which is a wiser way to deal with the dilemma situation .
First and fromost ,it is demonstrated by many instances that we may not know clearly what our interests lie even though we graduate from universities because of that，what we learn in college is quite different from what we will do as a career.The situation is that a various of people do job that they have not get in touch before .By trying different job ,we could broaden our views of different works and positions ,bring fresh air to our career and finally we may get closer to our own interests .Some typical example come into my mind immediately  ,the famous architecture kuhass  used to be a journalist and a typer , and the most popular movie singer shuimu has taken architect and singing as his career. They may get to know their own direction after a long term of trying .However ,sanding on the shoulder of the giants ,we may make a well organized plan for our future work .

Beside relocating ourself ,trying different kinds of jobs could bring us treasure experience in society .Life is like acting as different role in a movie though take different positions which makes our life full of surprise . Our potential ability is improved by deal with various programs and deal with diverse people .Another aspect, the precious experience in jobs may influence each other interactively which is similar to interdisplinary .The work program and experience in one job may contribute to the other one potential .To be specific ,the most intelligent artist Leonardo de Vinci is not only a painter ,but also a architect ,a sculpture .He thought that ,those roles he token were impacting to each other interactivly .
All in all ,taking different jobs before taking a long term career is a wiser way not only in our locating our direction but also lift us to new height in our life .

breezerhUID: 2819401

送到，水平有限，如有出错，纯属必然。

Nowadays ,the gradutates are facing the problems to chose a job .Because of lacking experiment and practical knowledge ,they are woudering（wondering？） which job is the most suitable one .Some case shows that nearly 56percent of people are not satisfying with their first job ,and are easily to feel down in social life .Simultaneously we need to take a long term career for a steady life . Therefore, to avoiding  making mistakes and feeling  regret, we should try several different jobs before taking a long term career which is a wiser way to deal with the dilemma situation .
First and foremost ,it is demonstrated by many instances that we may not know clearly what our interests lie even though we graduate from universities because of that，what we learn in college is quite different from what we will do as a career. The situation is that a various of people do job that they have not get in touch before (个人感觉这句表达有点CH，改成job做主语会不会好点？).By trying different job ,we could broaden our views of different works and positions ,bring fresh air to our career and finally we may get closer to our own interests .Some typical example come into my mind immediately  ,the famous architecture kuhass  used to be a journalist and a typer , and（one of ） the most popular movie singer shuimu has taken architect and singing as his career. They（只是K是typer，S不是呢……） may get to know their own direction after a long term of trying（and architect） .However ,sanding on the shoulder of the giants ,we may make a well organized plan for our future work .

Beside relocating ourself ,trying different kinds of jobs could bring us treasure experience in society .Life is like acting as different role in a movie though take different positions which makes our life full of surprise （比喻，赞一个）. Our potential ability is improved by deal with various programs and deal with diverse people .Another aspect, the precious experience in jobs may influence each other interactively which is similar to interdisplinary .The work program and experience in one job may contribute to the other one potential .To be specific ,the most intelligent artist Leonardo de Vinci is not only a painter ,but also a architect ,a sculpture .He thought that ,those roles he token were impacting to each other interactively .
All in all ,taking different jobs before taking a long term career is a wiser way not only in our locating our direction but also lift us to new height in our life .

1、        paragraph 2 &3 里面的例子很棒！请教niunian同学，平时是怎么用什么资料准备这些例子的呢？
2、        楼主写作很流畅呢，看得出主动词语掌握量很大很大……大赞。
3、        建议：再末尾段前再加一个让步，说说take a long term job 的东西。我们老师说这样做的导向是让ETS的改卷知道你有想过另一方的优劣势，叫做：思维全面，慎密。

niunianUID: 2864048

7.31   (09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign
country。


Globlizaiton makes the world a smaller village ,people from all over the world started to know each other through various methods .We are curious to acquit what happend in other country and are in great aspiration to get familiar with their culture
custom and history .Though newspapers and magazines plays a significant role in our learning about a foreign country ,we still could not be blinded for other factors which are medias such as TV or intenet and trips which are much more visial and dramatic .
First and foremost ,nothing is speading more faster than media .Compared to newspapers and magazines media such as internet is much more vivid with dramatic pitcutre and amazing voice. We could get a fully understanding into a foreign country by listen to and view a broaden field of view rather than simply get the picture or words. Nowadays TV and internet are almost avalible to all of us ,which means we could gain any thing we want from them .To be specific ,what we should do is just click the mouth ,then we will abtain what we are curious about the foreign .There are various videos taken by some offical government or by some public who are interested in sharing the cultural to other people .What is more ,by surfing the internet , we could make friends with foreigners through some friends-making network facebook or twitter or by some chatting software like MSN or QQ. Chatting which means we can talk to any one from anywhere ,must be the most direct way for us to learn about another country .
Beside abtain information through media ,travelling abord is another gracious way to gain knowledge about foreign country .Everybody knows that trasportation is highly developed ,which means traveling from one place to another is much easier than before .By taking a trip , we may solve our curiosity immediately .We could go to some historic site and museum if we want to know their culture ,and go to scenic spot or some natioanl parks to enjoy the delicate landscapes ,and go to the local restaurant to take special food there .

.All in all ,there is no universally agree on by which way could we learn more about a foreign country ,newspaper and magazine could offer us some basic information through words and pictures ,however medias could bring us to a more vivid world by flash and videos .Taking a trip to where you are dreaming for is a much convient and amazing way .

wendychuengUID: 2811319

7.31   (09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign, country。
! \- M" D+ B2 O( w/ q7 U
  {! R: |, [2 O. r4 ~
Globalization(第一个就拼错了可不好) makes the world a smaller village ,people from all over the world started to know each other through various methods .We are curious to acquit (acquire) what happened in other country and are in great aspiration to get familiar with their culture、* x5 I, ~5 C: _8 o9 ]# i7 i. \8 Bcustom and history .Though newspapers and magazines play a significant role in our learning about a foreign country, we still could not be blinded for other factors which are medias such as TV or internet and trips which are much more visual and dramatic 这个句子好乱，你是要说other ways to learn 吗
First and foremost, nothing is spreading （去掉more） faster than media .Compared to newspapers and magazines media such as internet is much more vivid with dramatic picture and amazing voice. We could get a fully understanding into a foreign country by listen to and view a broaden field of view rather than simply get the picture or words. Nowadays TV and internet are almost available to all of us ,which means we could gain any thing we want from them .To be specific ,what we should do is just click the mouth ,then we will obtain what we are curious about the foreign .There are various videos taken by some official
government（？有这种说法么？怀疑…） or by some public who are interested in sharing the cultural to other people .What is more, by surfing the internet, we could make friends with foreigners through some friends-making network face book or twitter or by some chatting software like MSN or QQ. Chatting which means we can talk to anyone from anywhere, must be the most direct way for us to learn about another country.: F) z' |' d0 E$ o: s. p# O
Beside obtain information through media ,travelling aboard is another gracious way to gain knowledge about foreign country .Everybody knows that transportation is highly developed ,which means traveling from one place to another is much easier than before .By taking a trip , we may solve our curiosity immediately .We could go to some historic site and museum if we want to know their culture ,and go to scenic spot or some national parks to enjoy the delicate landscapes ,and go to the local restaurant to take special food there .
* ?6 @: H$ i& J/ W+ w9 T* k' N! r4 i6 M$ w. N$ f& P: u5 W
.All in all, there is no universally agree on by which way could we learn more about a foreign country, newspaper and magazine could offer us some basic information through words and picture, however medias could bring us to a more vivid world by flash and videos .Taking a trip to where you are dreaming for is a much convenient and amazing way.
同学你拼写错误太多了，句子写得不地道，很明显的中式思维。建议你多看看好文章，做阅读时分析一下ets的阅读是怎么写的，再就是多练习吧。句式要注意些，长句容易错。 流年 7.31独立作文.doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2010-8-1 13:50:39 上传

下载次数: 7

wendychuengUID: 2811319

en...我不是说你写的不好，我们主要是挑错对吧。。。我不太婉转，不要care啊 说的不对的就忽略~~

高小鱼UID: 2714619

同学，建议下次传上来的之前自己先检查一遍，避免拼写和简单的语法错误，这样有利于自己进步也方便他人修改。随附修改意见，供参考~

niunianUID: 2864048

嘿嘿，没事，改作业就是应该这样的，才能进步~~多谢多谢 10# wendychueng

matlab007UID: 2865031

关于语法和行文的不足基本上他们两个也都说了。我的意见都在附件里呢。加油哟。 [matlab version]niunian7.31.doc (41 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-8-2 13:43:26 上传

下载次数: 5

niunianUID: 2864048

8.4
attach]148602[/attach]09.02.27NA

attach]148602[/attach]

wjinli519UID: 2766563

http://cid-4de75f5e702d85b8.office.live.com/browse.aspx/.Public
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