niunian的作文本

gougouhencaiUID: 2778821

我水平有限 见笑了

niunianUID: 2864048

8.5
严重超时  大家拍砖，呜呜

gougouhencaiUID: 2778821

你老叫别人拍砖  你咋不拍别人伲？

gougouhencaiUID: 2778821

水平有限 你水平比我高 ，我只能给你改写小错误了
8.5的作文 我的确是写跑题了 。

伊儿柠檬UID: 2761139

不好意思。。我一直没有找到你8.4的帖子。。。。所以没来改
现在也没找到。。。

cairen1986UID: 2599310

19# gougouhencai
不好意思啊， 昨天有事去了，今天来了第一件是就给你们改作文了 改好了 好好的加油

niunianUID: 2864048

8.7

part time job

伊儿柠檬UID: 2761139

8.4修改以后的。。

canoe03UID: 2786666

谢谢

bruce520UID: 2634940

不还意思，现在才有时间来看你的文章

niunianUID: 2864048

8.10   movies

cairen1986UID: 2599310

26# niunian
楼主，作文改好了，如果有不妥的，请见谅啊，水平有限 呵呵
By cairen1986

niunianUID: 2864048

8.12  考试在即

肖婷~UID: 2740510

已经改好了，具体见附件~~
你马上要考试了么？加油~
Good luck to you ~

zhoupengyuUID: 2610580

还是不能插入word。。。。

“Silence is golden” is no longer an essential saying in modern society. For that, majority of populace are suffering from a remarkable fierce competition in life, the one who keep silence would easily be ignored. As far as i am concerned, those who want to get a high position and a promising future in career, should make sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments.
(perfect)
First, modern populace, more often than not, are facing with a fierce competition in many fields, such as companies, schools, even political forums. (注意前后对应) It is common that, thousands of people compete for one position in a big company. Students feel obliged to (有这种用法么？用are forced to怎么样？)
strive for the limited space (国外好像用position比较多) in the prestigious university in order to earn themselves a promising future. Politicians have to cope with a great deal of complaints and even scold from their people and critics. Under such circumstance, hardly can anyone get succeed if no one understands his/her accomplishments. Just as what’s going on in the commercial competition, it is no deniable undeniable/obviously that a food company will inform the customs (announce好点吧) that their products are full of nutritious and tasty good. Otherwise how could the company selling its products and gain profits. Under the same analysis, hardly can a student achieve a monitor or a student leader if teachers and other students are not aware of his ability and generosity characteristic. And never can the current president Obama get this position if his people did know his accomplishments in politic.

What is more, under the supervise of others, especially the influenced people and employees (这是想表达上级么？应该是employer吧。), we feel obliged to try our best to improve ourselves in order to draw their attention or meet with their goal. During the process, we are promoted and feel more energetic. On the contrary, if we do not care whether others know our strengths and accomplishments, we may easily lose passion in our study and career. In such cases, making sure that others know our accomplishments is as an exterior factor to lift us to new heights (感觉用level表征地位高低要好一点) in life.

Admittedly, despite those merits, we should also be aware that excessively showing one's talent can also bring counter-effects. Others in your company or your classmate may envy you and may even hate you for getting too much attention from leaders or teachers. Thus we will face an embarrassed situation in maintaining friendship and communicating with the boss. What is worse, we may suffer from some obstacles in career and study. To be specific, some of our teammate may not don’t have willing to help us when we should cooperate with him/her.

All in all, letting others know our strengths and accomplishments could make us be well (help us to好像更好点) prepared for the challenge in career and study. What is more it may promote us to new heights as an exterior factor. Nevertheless, we should also pay attention to other people (这个好像有点不完整，注意别人的什么？是不是用other people’s envy好点？), sometimes it is wiser to be humble.


行文流畅，论述充分，对语法的把握也很准，基本上挑不出什么问题，稍微注意一下细节即可。祝你考试顺利、得偿所愿J