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Issue No.48【六人行】by D
WORDS: 481
TIME: 00:48:36
According to the speaker of this statement[according to ?这个开头不太顺,最好改下,在google上没有同类用法.要么说According to the statement, 或者说according to the author,说according to the author of the statement有点废话的感觉], the author thinks that the study of the story[history吧] always
give too much emphasis on individuals and over look the important contribution of the group of people whose identities have long been forgotten. But is it the situation? As far as the layman is concerned , the speaker unnecessarily
exaggerates the contribution of the group of people, while ignoring other potential possibilities. As a result, I take exception with the claim.
Admittedly, the history couldn't be a possible without the group of the[去掉the] people. Every revolution needs the people [跟前面的people重复,改成fellow- man]to support and to join in, if there are no people [又重复了,改成no one?]care[cares] it, there is no victory of the Anti-Japanese War in China. In this war, there were too many heroes come from the group of the people and we even don't know their names, but the history should remember their names; In addition, there are too many discoveries in history are found by the group.[感觉这个例子有点大,抗日战争应该具体到什么事上,要不感觉外国人不一定能了解]
But I can't agree with the view that history is created by the famous figures.[题里也没给这个论点啊?有点跑了] Because they indeed have play a very important part in history. For example, if there was no Watt who invent the steam engine in 18th century, maybe we have to wait a long time to enter into the industrial age. In this case, the individual contribution change the step the historical progress. And such thing could also happens in the field of technology, if the Bill Gates didn't start the Microsoft Corporation. maybe I am typing in the computer system of DOS. So, we can see that without the famous person, more group of people could not product such invention and idea.[感觉这段例子有点老~别的没什么大问题]
When we are researching the history, we should admit the effect of the people, and give a emphasis on the important figures. Because the important figure always be the important mark of that time. For example, When we are researching the Civil Right Act, we could researching Martin Luther King directly, because many affairs in that time always have relationship with him. And when we talk about American civil war, we often
think about Lincoln first. Because it is useless to researching the group of the people. History is consist of winding lines. The famous figures always stand at the crossing point. So we can know the trend of the history by researching the famous figures.[感觉观点ok,论述不够深刻]
If we can say that the society is a boat marching forward in the river of the history, so [去掉so]the people[换个哈,又people了] is the
sailors and the famous figures is the captain of the boat, both of the them are create[creating] the history in common, all of them should be remembered. No sailors, no advancing. [No captains,no direction.]But the worse is that we don't know where we should go without the captain. Obviously, the captain is more important. that is why his name could be remembered by the history.
[总的感觉,例证深度不够,重复词比较多,我可能也是这样,加油吧!] |
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