作文求拍

王亚冉UID: 2758328

819writing~

FannieHsuUID: 2861996

改好了`~

王亚冉UID: 2758328

821writing~
希望能押中~

joeskingUID: 2659617

uz: l/ e  Q6 b- j2 r0 p) H  `9 b7 j4 t" X* s8月21日交
(09.01.17 NA)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits

If a murderer killed a person by a gun, could you put the legal obligation into the advertising for the type of gun? Definitely not, consequently I strongly disagree with the statement that advertising lead to unhealthy eating habits most. It is other reasons as following that make influence on this result.

First, fast pace of life makes people have too much pressure. They probably have no time to cook meals at home, so they have to go to KFC or Mc Donald during a little break. For example, many white- collars work in their companies a whole day and just have 30 minutes in the noon everyday to eat some food in a hurry to save time for their projects. In addition, after returning home at night, they might be too tired to wash vegetables carefully. Therefore, they would like to order a pizza outside.

Second, what is real is rational, what is rational is real.(这是谚语么？领教了) The fast foods are widely popular among people for their advantages of quick and convenience. More and more young adults prefer to eat instant noodles instead of complex and boring progresses if they live alone in dorms.
(You’d better use “prefer …to…”

Last but not least, the fast foods themselves attract a sizeable percentage of population with their deliciousness. People, especially children, they like potato French chips, fried chicken wings, milk shake, hamburgers and so forth a lot although these could lead them overweight and hypertension. It would be useless to advertise for them if they taste terrible themselves. So the effect (/function) of advertising is only to introduce produces and the essential part is the foods themselves.

In the final analysis, there many other aspects influence on citizens to choose to eat junk foods besides advertising. Thus we could not harshly draw a conclusion that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

提纲：
1，开头打个比方，人们是自主选择的习惯，不能赖广告~
2，人们工作压力大，没时间，所以选快餐~
3，快餐，快餐，正如其名，因她的方便与快捷而备受人们的欢迎~
4，快餐本身就美味诱人，导致了许多小朋友喜欢吃她~
5，总结全文~
疑问：
不知我理解偏否，“不健康的习惯”是不是还可以指不按时吃饭？暴饮暴食等？不只是吃垃圾食品吧?但是我又想不出来他们与广告有何关系，因为广告不可能宣传说让你不吃饭吧，又难道是减肥广告？乱了乱了；还有自己觉得reason one与reason two观点有重合，是我硬拆开的，不知有无痕迹，请指教~
不健康的饮食习惯，很多，你可以google 下，你这里把他默认为吃垃圾食品，这虽然只是其中之一，但是也可以写，就是需要你在开始把论点的范围坐下限定，做下说明。要不然会让名别人觉得你似乎偏题了似的。
这因为你说的那些观点和广告没什么关系，所以都可以用来进行反面论证啊。
三个原因都还合理，但感觉论述起来不那么顺口。第一点后面的论据似乎应该放在第二点里。因为一是说缓解压力，而是节省时间。
忽然觉得一这个理由好神奇。吃快餐真的能缓解压力？给我说明说明。
理由二其实可以更深入，生动得举个具体的例子，某人怎么忙到只能去吃块才，会很好的。
语言方面还要加油，多学学好的句子。词组、倒装、排比、反问。。。

加油加油！！




因为不能发附件，所以直接贴了。应该没事吧？
改得不好，请多指教！

王亚冉UID: 2758328

thx~ 34# joesking

王亚冉UID: 2758328

才开始综合..