还有issue24，还有11天机考，第一篇issue，帮帮绝望的我吧，谢谢大家。。。

我爱吃芥末UID: 2867837

TOPIC: ISSUE24 - "People in positions of power are most effective when they exercise caution and restraint in the use of that power."
WORDS: 588
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010/7/30 20:34:33
感觉怪怪的。。。红字是我拼写错了的。。。谢谢啊

I partially agree with the statement that exercising with great caution and restraint is the most effective way for people in position of power to use their power. In various fields, power can be regarded as a two-side sword, while exercising power is seen as another form of art. In general, the advantages of using power with caution and restraint outweight(outweigh) its disadvantages, however, in certain field, for instance business, the adventurous spirit of using power should also be given credit.

Politicians should exert their power with ultimate caution and restraint for any misconduct of their deeds may result in disastrous consequences. On one hand, almost every policy can have the immediate power to reach the mass and thus directly influence their living. Taking the example of medical reform, only with great caution when making the decision can politicians most effectively and appropriately using their power to benefit the society. It is undeniable that every nation is composed of different social groups which have their specific demands and situations. When it comes to make a policy that affects the interest of the whole society, politicans(politicians) would better carefully consider the needs and problems of every single group, which is in deadly need of great caution and patience. On the other hand, using power with restraint is equally important for politicians. Learning from the history that unlimited power could lead to almost uncontrolable (uncontrollable) soical problems, such as corruption and disabusement(abuse) of power. For these two reasons, we should vote for the notion that power should be exercise with caution and restraint in politics.

As for the field of arts and cultures in general, using power with caution and restraint is also every important. Culure(Culture) could be labeled as an unique business card for a particular country, and in the comtemporary sociaty(contemporary society), with the help of mass media, every important cultural decision could influence the preservation of culture to an significant degree which calls for in-depth and insightful consideration. If the decision in the field of culture and arts could have the far-flung impact on generations after generations, how can the people in power work without great caution and restraint?

However, when it comes to the field of business, it is no longer the case for the reason that business has its natural need for adventurous spirit and courage. Corporation leaders have the responsibility of determining the future development direction of the whole corporation. Nevertheless, even with the help of carefull(careful) analysis and manifold statistics, the future developmental trend in certain area is unpredictable. In this case, if the business leader merely hesitates with the innocent wish of exercising power with caution, he is surely be haunted with the great possibility of missing the best business opportunity which would bring significant loss to his company under the current fierce business competition. Recalling the example of Apple, the electronic products company, when the CEO of Apple made the decision that they should switch their focus from computer operating platform(电脑操作系统应改成system) design to other high-technology electronic product, namely iPod, there were a great number of people opposing this adventure. However, the present giant market share of iPod and the concomitant promising profit could best applause for Apple CEO's decision and insightful mind.

From all that has been argued above, it is natural for us to conclude that using power with caution and restraint should be recommended in most fields, however, adventurous spirit and quick decision should also be given recognition in business area. However, with the increasing intense global network, people in position of power are greatly advised to use their power with caution and restraint for their decision may no longer only affect the people around them, but also their countrymen and even the whole world citizens.（怪怪的）

joyce==UID: 2857353

1# 我爱吃芥末 谢谢楼主对我那篇文章细心的修改~~
以下是我对这篇issue的一点拙见，如有说的不妥当的地方还请见谅~（括号加粗的字是我改的地方）
I partially agree with the statement that exercising with great caution and restraint is the most effective way for people in position of power to use their power. In various fields, power can be regarded as a two-side sword（这里MS是double edged sword吧）, while exercising power is seen as another form of art. In general, the advantages of using power with caution and restraint outweight(outweigh) its disadvantages, however, in certain field, for instance business, the adventurous spirit of using power should also be given credit.

Politicians should exert their power with ultimate caution and restraint for any misconduct of their deeds may result in disastrous consequences. On one hand, almost every policy can have the immediate power to reach the mass（群众the masses） and thus directly influence their living. Taking（Take） the example of medical reform, only with great caution when making the decision can politicians most effectively and appropriately using their power to benefit the society. （感觉这里和前面一句的influence their living重复了，如果能具体写出是什么样的benefit我觉得会更有说服力）It is undeniable that every nation is composed of different social groups which have their specific demands and situations. When it comes to make a policy that affects the interest（interests） of the whole society, politicans(politicians) would better carefully consider the needs and problems of every single group, which is in deadly need of great caution and patience. On the other hand, using power with restraint is equally important for politicians. Learning from the history that unlimited power could lead to almost uncontrolable (uncontrollable) soical problems, such as corruption and disabusement(abuse) of power. For these two reasons, we should vote for the notion that power should be exercise（exercised） with caution and restraint in politics.
（感觉LZ这一段讲理论有些重复，另外医改的例子再详细一点就好了，再就是on one hand。。。on the other hand。。。把这两点放在一起逻辑上感觉有点怪，但是说不上为什么，不好意思啊。。。）

As for the field of arts and cultures in general, using power with caution and restraint is also every important. Culure(Culture) could be labeled as an unique business card for a particular country, and in the comtemporary
sociaty(contemporary society), with the help of mass media, every important cultural decision could influence the preservation of culture to an significant degree which calls for in-depth and insightful consideration. If the decision in the field of culture and arts could have the far-flung impact on generations after generations, how can the people in power work without great caution and restraint?
（个人感觉过于理论化了，另外题目说的是当权者问题，但是在这段LZ只提到了舆论监督的作用，有一点偏题。。。）
However, when it comes to the field of business, it is no longer the case for the reason that business has its natural need for adventurous spirit and courage. Corporation leaders have the responsibility of determining the future development direction of the whole corporation. Nevertheless, even with the help of carefull(careful) analysis and manifold statistics, the future developmental trend in certain area is unpredictable. In this case, if the business leader merely hesitates with the innocent wish of exercising power with caution, he is surely be（去掉be） haunted with the great possibility of missing the best business opportunity which（语法上这个which修饰的是opportunity，所以不应该是bring loss的。LZ如果想说失去这个机遇会导致损失的话可以调整一下语序） would bring significant loss to his company under the current fierce business competition. Recalling the example of Apple, the electronic products company, when the CEO of Apple made the decision that they should switch their focus from computer operating platform(电脑操作系统应改成system) design to other high-technology electronic product, namely iPod, there were a great number of people opposing this adventure. However, the present giant market share of iPod and the concomitant promising profit could best applause for Apple CEO's decision and insightful mind.

From all that has been argued above, it is natural for us to conclude that using power with caution and restraint should be recommended in most fields, however, adventurous spirit and quick decision should also be given recognition in business area. However, （和前一句的however重复了，比如换成nevertheless？）with the increasing intense global network, people in position of power are greatly advised to use their power with caution and restraint for their decision may no longer only affect the people around them, but also their countrymen and even the whole world citizens.（怪怪的）（最后一句和From all that has been argued above。。。那句说的是一个意思吧。。。）

我爱吃芥末UID: 2867837

2# joyce==

非常感谢啊，真的是改的很细心，谢谢哈！
我觉得听了你的意见，再多加注意和联系能有很大提高哈，谢谢，咱俩以后互改吧，共同进步哈~
写起来看到时间一点一点得走得那么快，心里慌，好多没想清楚就写，唉，我错了，加油哈！你一定能有个好成绩的！

joyce==UID: 2857353

3# 我爱吃芥末 好呀，那咱们互改吧~刚好我也是还有十来天就考了，焦虑ing。。。自己看完全看不出问题的所在。。。

小不傻UID: 2860220

8月13机考 想找人互改作文 一天两篇 QQ 407877995

我爱吃芥末UID: 2867837

4# joyce==

写了就告诉我哈，可别客气！加油