Issue130新手求互改 孩子的社会化程度决定社会命运

guo0693UID: 2540167

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 800          TIME: 03:38:02          DATE: 2010-7-31 13:21:53

Every dog has its day, the day not to be lucky or fortunate but to die! Thus, there will inevitably be a problem: the alternation of generation. Clearly that our future society will be consist of our children. But how to cultivate them to  bring about a better society? Some people claim that to which extent children are socialized will determine the destiny of society and until now we still have not yet learned the method to effectively raise children. I partially agree with this declaration for social activities will largely influence one individual's development. Whereas, it is far away from determining the future of our society because that schooling and parental influence are of the same even more significance to one's development. We should make a combination of education and socialization in order to effectively cultivate our next generation. Moreover, the existence of scientifc methods to educate our children is undeniable.

First of all, it is the schooling and parental influence that help us form the basic sense of value and gain the ability and skills of learning together with problem solving which is critical for future development. Parental influence is fatal important for a child to form his or her personal characteristics, which is not difficult to conclude from the growing up of Thomas Alva Edison whose mother played a really important role in his process of being initiated. School life, as the second phase of development of an individual's aquired competence, is usually the key to one's success. Most great people who have made great differences are usually well educated. Current American president Obama used to study at Columbia University and Harvard Law School while Chinese chairman Hu graduated from Tsinghua University, and almost every greatest scientist who has made ground-breaking inventions used to receive high level education. It is therefore clear that education is the key link in child's pullulation.

Secondly, social practices do help us verify and solidify what we learned from school. Empirically, one would most likely forget what the teacher taught just several days before without practice it in person. Myself will be a persuasive instance: when I learned programming language, if I didn't type the program that our teacher introduced in class by myself, I will soon be unfamiliar with it by next day. Besides, social activities, for exmaple practice in a company, will not only strengthen one's booklore but also enable him or her to learn how to work as a member in a team, which is more important but will be less likely to be learned from books. Thus, as a complement of schooling and parental education, socialization can not be neglected.

In addtion, We must notice that before you step into society, you have to equip with some basic capability, such as how to get along with others, how to deal with frustration and how to learn by yourself and so forth, in order to adapt to the crucial tough world. There are so many bad precedents illustrating that prematurely entering society without adequate preparation usually means crushing defeat. One of my high school classmates dropped out school and followed his father to got out to make money. Without any specialty, he can only be a laborer who get a few payment by sacrificing his physical strength.  The heavy burden crush his healthy body and the slender income is far away from enough for his treatment. What a pity! Therefore, we should raise our children by making sure that education by both parents and teachers will be well balanced with socialization since what we want is to raise them not to destory them.

As a supplement, the sophisticated educators have introduced several scientific methods to improve education. For parents, they are supposed to foster children's curiosity of unkown and develop their intellect by elementary education which includes telling them fairy tale, conducting them to think about some simple intellectual puzzles, leading them to obseve surrounding plants and animals, enlightening their interests in nature and science. For school teachers, they become to realize that teaching is not just simply as a process of giving and receiving, they begin to value children's ability of operation and cooperation, they start to pay more attention to stimulate children's interest to learn. Schooling is not ever just about academical knowledge formation, but the bidrectional development of both academical and nonacademical abilities, which meets the need of general development for children in the future.

To sum up, we should have confidence that our future society will be better and better since more and more scientific method for child's development will created as time moving on. As long as we could continuously learn from past and cautiously moving ahead, there will be no reason for us to degrade since we have already been better than before.
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第一次写，发现手很生，很受打击。很多词语想不出合适的单词来写，查词 查网页总共费了3个多小时，写完觉得自己不是很满意。希望有人能给提些批评意见。希望能在剩下的8天离多多少少有些提高。。。
提纲：
第一段：描述背景，指出未来是有我们的后代组成 引出topic，从而提出自己的观点：一，socialization不是唯一决定性因素，schooling和parental Influence同等或者更重要，三者要结合起来才能有利于下一代的培养。二，已经存在一些科学的教育方法来更好的培养孩子。
第二段 schooling和parental influence (education)的重要性
第三段 socialization同样不可忽视
第四段 education 和 socialization要平衡好
第五段 举出一些已经存在的教育孩子的科学方法
最后一段 总结，我们已经比以前的社会好很多了，只要不断从历史中学习 小心谨慎的发展 没理由会倒退

joyce==UID: 2857353

1# guo0693 可能是我和LZ对这道题的理解不同吧，我感觉这个issue的重点是孩子的socialization能否决定社会的命运，以及前后两句能否构成逻辑关系。而孩子的教育问题只是其中的一个方面。所以我的思路大致如下：
1.       1. 孩子的社会化程度不是决定社会命运的唯一因素，决定社会命运的因素还有很多，比如孩子的创造力，团队精神等。
2.       2. 即使社会化程度是主要决定因素，和“我们不知道怎样教育孩子使他们对社会更有用”也没有必然的因果关系。虽然我们不善于教育，但是不代表着孩子们自己不会经过社会的历练而变得社会化，另外由于年龄的原因家长的观念存在一定局限性，未必能正确引导，有时甚至会误导孩子。举例blablabla
3.       3. 所以，在有能力正确引导孩子的前提下如果我们不能让他们做社会有用之人，这才是可惜的。


另外第一段里感觉consists of 用的有些奇怪，不知换成control合适吗？还有就是第一段倒数第三句Whereas, it is far away from determining the future of our society because that。。。这个that可以去掉~
以上是我的一点拙见，如有不妥之处还望见谅~~~

guo0693UID: 2540167

谢谢~我在这里有个迷惑，就是不知道Issue该怎么和A区分开来，有时觉得应该是就topic写一个观点，如果对这topic的逻辑或者正误进行批判又担心写成了Arg... 2# joyce==