Jonathan 作文本

jonathan0929UID：2588704

L
大家好 第一次参加这个活动 多指教
7-31 作业( q; A; U/
Agree or disagree?
Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign.

Views vary with regard whether newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign. As far as I am concerned, I disagree that newspapers and magazines are entitled as the best way to learn about a foreign, even though those have certain information that we can be accessed. Alternatively, I strong agree that oversea traveling is the best way to familiar with a foreign country. The following are my reasons.

It is undoubted that newspapers and magazines play an important role on introduction of a foreign country. For the one thing, there are many exotic foods and resorts reported on the newspapers or magazines every day. Thus, by reading these columns, we can learn some information about a foreign country. Furthermore, there are some events happened in a foreign that we can acquire through reading everyday newspapers or magazines. Thus, we can know more about not only headline events happened in a foreign but also its culture. However, newspapers or magazines can simply offer some basic information, though those are the simplest ways to approach foreign. Therefore, in order to acquire more detail information about a foreign country, we should take some times to travel to a foreign country.

To begin with, by traveling a foreign country, we have great opportunities to approach the authentic foreign environment. For example, once upon the time, I was very interested in the America cultural life since I was young. Therefore, I traveled the United States last year; fortunately, I could truly experience the foreign life. Besides, there are many detail things we cannot learn just by reading newspapers or magazines but by traveling aboard. While traveling a foreign country, we can know more about its history by visiting the local museums or landmarks where stand for a window for us to see the foreign world.

Second, by traveling a foreign country, we have great chances to meet local people who may offer some untold stories to us. For example, if you want to taste delicious exotic foods with low price, newspapers or magazines may not the best choices because the food information on them are always expensive. On the other hand, you can acquire such information by traveling there and ask local people.

For the above reasons, even though newspapers or magazines give us some basic information about foreign, I think the best avenue to approach truly foreign is traveling aboard.

lxg198607UID：2564115

Views vary with regard whether newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign. As far as I am concerned, I disagree that newspapers and magazines are entitled as the best way to learn about a foreign, even though those have certain information that we can be accessed. Alternatively, I strong agree that oversea traveling is the best way to (be)familiar with a foreign country. The following are my reasons.7 v5 r7 d- s0 _% }4 b# p4 p) t# y

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It is undoubted that newspapers and magazines play an important role on (in)introduction of a foreign country. For the (去掉)one thing, there are many exotic foods and resorts reported on the newspapers or magazines every day. Thus, by reading these columns, we can learn some information about a foreign country. Furthermore, there are some events happened in a foreign that we can acquire through reading everyday newspapers or magazines. Thus, we can know more about（去掉） not only headline events happened in a foreign but also its culture. However, newspapers or magazines can simply offer some basic information, though those are the simplest ways to approach foreign. Therefore, in order to acquire more detailed information about a foreign country, we should take some times to travel to a foreign country(这一段有点多，喧宾夺主了，可以精简下)./ y' U8 g()2 B0 E6 o' U&

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To begin with, by traveling a foreign country, we have great opportunities to approach the authentic foreign environment. For example, once upon the time, I was（have been） very interested in the America cultural life since I was young. Therefore, I traveled the United States last year; fortunately, I could truly experience the foreign life. Besides, there are many detail things we cannot learn just by reading newspapers or magazines but by traveling aboard. While traveling a foreign country, we can know more about its history by visiting the local museums or landmarks where stand for a window for us to see the foreign world(这里感觉举个例子较好。).: T! D5 I+ G1 X0 h) b

Second, by traveling a foreign country, we have great chances to meet local people who may offer some untold stories to us. For example, if you want to taste delicious exotic foods with low price, newspapers or magazines may not the best choices because the food information on them are always expensive. On the other hand, you can acquire such information by traveling there and ask local people.

For the above reasons, even though newspapers or magazines give us some basic information about foreign, I think the best avenue to approach truly foreign is traveling aboard.
思路清楚，但一些小语法要注意、

yylbjUID：2764695

Views vary with regard whether newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign. As far as I am concerned, I disagree that newspapers and magazines are entitled as the best way to learn about a foreign, even though those have certain information that we can be accessed. Alternatively, I strong agree that oversea traveling is the best way to familiar with a foreign country. The following are my reasons.

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It is undoubted that newspapers and magazines play an important role on(in) introduction of a foreign country. For the(去掉) one thing, there are many exotic foods and resorts reported on the newspapers or magazines every day. Thus, by reading these columns, we can learn some information about a foreign country. Furthermore, there are some events happened in a foreign that we can acquire through reading everyday newspapers or magazines. Thus（与前面重复，建议改为and therefore）
we can know more about not only headline events happened in a foreign but also its culture. However, newspapers or magazines can simply offer some basic information, though those are the simplest ways to approach foreign. Therefore, in order to acquire more detail information about a foreign country, we should take some times to travel to a foreign country. 这段有点啰嗦，可以简略写，重点在下面。而且最好把让步的一段放在倒数第二段写，另外，避免使用there be 的句式。

To begin with, by traveling a foreign country, we have great opportunities to approach the authentic foreign environment. For example, once upon the time, I was very interested in the America cultural life since I was young. Therefore, I traveled the United States last year; fortunately, I could truly experience the foreign life. Besides, there are many detail things we cannot learn just by reading newspapers or magazines but by traveling aboard. While traveling a foreign country, we can know more about its history by visiting the local museums or landmarks where stand for a window for us to see the foreign world.

Second, by traveling a foreign country, we have
重复使用次数多了可改为：Traveling abroad provide us great chances`````great chances to meet local people who may offer some untold stories to us. For example, if you want to taste delicious exotic foods with low price, newspapers or magazines may not the best choices because the food information on them are always expensive. On the other hand, you can acquire such information by traveling there and ask local people.


h- D# p
For the above reasons, even though newspapers or magazines give us some basic information about foreign, I think the best avenue to approach truly foreign is traveling aboard.
LZ在句式和用词上可以加强训练

yylbjUID：2764695

同学···我们俩都给你改过作文了···你都还没看过我们的·····小组任务要完成啊~

jonathan0929UID：2588704

SORRY! 晚了 已回覆  請參考！
如有問題一起討論～

jonathan0929UID：2588704

0803作业 by Jonathan~~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Views vary with regard to whether a job with more vocation time but a low salary is better than a job with high salary but less vocation time. As far as I am concerned, though a job with high salary has some advantages, I am in favor of the job with more vocation time but a low salary. The following are my points of view.

Admittedly, it is indisputable that there are many advantages of a job with high salary but less vocation time. For example, by taking a high salary job, we can enjoy the high quality of life, such as buying a luxury car, living in a mason, eating a nice meal, and so on. But we should be in compensation for our free time that can be spending on traveling or doing what we like to do.

However, even though a job with lower income, we have a lot of free time to have a vocation that would let me feel relax. To cite my personal story as an example, I work at a research center with regular working hours in China. As a result, I have plenty of sparing time to do what like to do. Most frequently, I used to traveling outskirt with my best friends on weekend so that I can totally release my everyday pressure. Besides, I have great chances to approach nature. On the weekday, I used to hanging out with my colleagues to go shopping or play basketball. Therefore, although I may lose opportunities to enjoy high quality of life, I have more time to promote my spiritual and physical health as well as release my daily pressure.

Moreover, a job with low salary but more free time let me to do the things I am interested. Sometimes, I have a lot of free time to take classes for recharging myself because taking classes provide me a great opportunity to upgrade myself. Most importantly, I may have great opportunities to accomplish my dreams. For example, I have plenty of sparing time to prepare English exam after work so that I may have chance to study aboard and make my dreams come true.

For the above reasons, I opt to take a job with more free time, even though this job offers me only a mean salary.

(word: 385)

ppbboUID：2537437

:) 看到了差距！我都不知该怎么改了~~

linran0108UID：2864715

6# jonathan0929
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.3 H+ H# _6 c$ n4 X1 {3 v3 k. s1 ?
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Views vary with regard to whether a job with more vocation time but a low salary is better than a job with high salary but less vocation time. As far as I am concerned, though a job with high salary has some advantages, I am in favor of the job with more vocation time but a low salary. [url=]The following are my points of view.[/url][o1]

Admittedly, it is indisputable that there are many advantages of a job with high salary but less vocation time. For example, by taking a high salary job, we can enjoy the high quality of life, such as buying a luxury car, living in a mason, eating a nice meal, and so on. [url=]But we should be in compensation for our free time that can be spending on traveling or doing what we like to do. [/url]4 N[o2]
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However, even though a job with lower income, we have a lot of free time to have a vocation that would let me feel relax. To cite my personal story as an example, I work at a research center with regular working hours in China. As a result, I have plenty of sparing time to do [url=]what[/url][o3] like to do. Most frequently, I used to traveling outskirt with my best friends on weekend so that I can totally release my everyday pressure. Besides, I have great chances to approach nature. On the weekday, I used to hanging out with my colleagues to go shopping or play basketball. Therefore, although I may lose opportunities to enjoy high quality of life, I have more time to promote my spiritual and physical health as well as release my daily pressure.


Moreover, a job with low salary but more free time let me to do the things I am interested. Sometimes, I have a lot of free time to take classes for recharging myself [url=]because taking classes [/url][o4]
provide me a great opportunity to upgrade myself. Most importantly, I may have great opportunities to accomplish my dreams. For example, I have plenty of sparing time to prepare English exam after work so that I may have chance to study aboard and make my dreams come true.0 }2 F! [; ^; R/ n4 r0 b! c


For the above reasons, I opt to take a job with more free time, even though this job offers me only a mean salary.


总评：文章写得很好，用词也很不错。有些小地方，可以商榷：）

[o1]这句话。。其实不说比较好吧。



[o2]But our free time that could have been spending on entertainment will be in compensation for the rich material possession. 我觉得这种结构用in compensation for比较合适。



[o3] What I like to do



[o4]建议这个句子改成which 的定语从句

jonathan0929UID：2588704

8/7 作業 by Jonathan
請指教~~
thx


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Views vary with regard to whether students should not take part time jobs while they are studying in the universities. As far as I am concerned, though studying is the pivotal importance for the college students, I am in favor that college students should take part time jobs to some degree. The following are my reasons.

Admittedly, studying well is the foremost purpose for the college students. Students studying in the universities should pay more attention on their school performances because those performances will influence their future career. For example, in order to get a job with high salary, students should study hard to perform well in the school. As a result, they should dwell a lot of time on studying and preparing their homework for their own sake. However, taking part time jobs is also important for college students.


To begin with, by taking a part time job, students can acquire working experiences for their future work. To cite my personal experience as an example, I was taking a part time job as a physic tutor, and thus I accumulate bunches of teaching experiences while I was a college student. Therefore, I have many great opportunities to be a teacher resulting from these working experiences.

Moreover, by taking a part time job, students can earn some money for their future expenses. To cite my story for instance, I have earned some money not only from the tutoring job but also from the research assistance in my professor’s lab.. Consequently, I save a lot of money during my college period that could materialize my dreams. Money at hand can serve me to keep pursuing higher educational degree so that I can finish my education independently, unnecessary to rely on my parents for financial aids to accomplish my dreams.

For the above reasons, to some degree, I strongly agree that college should have part time job experiences if taking these jobs would not influence their school performances.

(Word: 326)

fanfan1247UID：2591669

修改好啦
byfanfan1247

kila1002UID：2806614

楼主改好了~~~

jonathan0929UID：2588704

Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.


Views vary with regard to whether people's accomplishments or strengths should be known by someone else if they want to achieve success. As far as I am concerned, I am argue against  that if I do not make sure my employers or other influential people know about my capabilities, I will never get successful in my life. The following are my reasons.

What is the definition of successful life? Everyone has different point of view. Some people regard enjoying high quality of life or earning a lot of money is the way to get successful life. Admittedly, for some perspectives, it is indisputable that in order to get success, it is easier as some influential people or your supervisors familiar with your strengths and accomplishments. For example, if someone who want to promote higher position in a company, it is easier as his employers know his performances and accomplishments in the company and know the important contributions for the boost of company. Otherwise, he may lose great opportunities to get promotion even though there are plenty of accomplishments he has done for the company.

However, from my point of view, I don’t think people will never get successful life if their bosses or influential people do not know their achievements. Personally, the definition of successful life is not only pursuing high quality of life or getting a high position title in a company, but people can achieve some things they want to do is success. To cite my personal experience for instance, I was taking my performances in the school seriously. If I get high score in the tests, I would feel so achievement, but I never make sure other influential people must know about my strengths and achievements. In other words, although I do not let other influential people or professors know about my capabilities, I can achieve successful in life as well.

For the above reasons, even though it is easier for most of people who want to achieve success as their influential people know their achievements or capabilities. I do not in favor of the view that people never get success in their life as some influential people do not understand their accomplishments.





(Words: 366)

If the raters hard to understand my viewpoint? Should the essay structure must be first... second...so on ans so on?
Because I have took the toefl exam for 3 times, two of them used this kind of strusture didn't get high scores. But I wonder why? Can somebody give me some comments? Thank you!

jjooyyUID：2704028

12# jonathan0929

Views vary with regard to whether people's accomplishments or strengths should be known by someone else if they want to achieve success. As far as I am concerned, I am argue against(argue against是反对 你反对你后面的内容？) that if I do not make sure my employers or other influential people know about my capabilities, I will never get successful in my life. The following are my reasons.



What is the definition of a successful life? Everyone has different point of view. Some people regard enjoying high quality of life or earning a lot of money is the way to(前面的是successful life 而不是方法吧) get successful life.

Admittedly, for some perspectives, it is indisputable that in order to get success, it is easier as some influential people or your supervisors familiar with your strengths and accomplishments. For example, if someone who want to promote higher position in a company, it is easier as his employers know his performances and accomplishments in the company and know the important contributions for the boost of company. Otherwise, he may lose great opportunities to get promotion even though there are plenty of accomplishments he has done for the company. : ^* F1 {* J% f* y: K

However, from my point of view, I don’t think people will never get successful life if their bosses or influential people do not know their achievements. Personally, the definition of successful life is not only pursuing high quality of life or getting a high position title in a company(我总觉得你像这样写否定的句子，太啰嗦了), but people can achieve some things they want to do is success. To cite my personal experience for instance, I was taking my performances in the school seriously. If I get high score in the tests, I would feel so achievement, but I never make sure other influential people must know about my strengths and achievements. In other words, although I do not let other influential people or professors know about my capabilities, I can achieve successful in life as well.
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For the above reasons, even though it is easier for most of people who want to achieve success as their influential people know their achievements or capabilities. I do not in favor of the view that people never get success in their life as some influential people do not understand their accomplishments.
z# ?" S0 s

If the raters hard to understand my viewpoint? （这句话语法也有问题。。。根本不算一句话吧）Should the essay structure must be first... second...so on ans so on?4 p5 l7 U8 e7 Q4 }& F5 }! G
Because I have took the toefl exam for 3 times, two of them used this kind of strusture didn't get high scores. But I wonder why? Can somebody give me some comments? Thank you!
1 要问问问题的话 还是用中文吧 你这样表达很不清楚
2 你的文章内容有点空，而且主体只有2段话，经常颠来倒去讲同样的话。。。
3 关于你的分数 结构不是太大的问题 应该是句子啦 内容啦 词汇啦 等的问题 可以参考ETS的要求来看
4 记得回改啊！
加油！

白菜学英语UID：2731720

改好啦~每次我都说的很多..是我太罗嗦= =

jonathan0929UID：2588704

8.28
Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country is always more interesting than those made in other countries.　

Views vary with regard to whether movies and television programs made in one’s own country is more interesting than those made in other countries. As far as I am concerned, I do not agree movies and television programs made in my own country is better than those made in other countries. The following are my reasons.

First of all, movies and television programs made in other countries are more intriguing than those made in one’s own country because we can experience different life styles, perceptions, and environments. To cite my country, Taiwan, for example, it is because that I was born and live in Taiwan so that I am familiar with the environment as well as the life style of Taiwan. Moreover, I have sawn a lot of Taiwan-made movies and television shows since I was young. As a result, the movies or television programs made in Taiwan simply cannot intrigue me anymore. On the country, I am very interested in the movies or television shows made by other countries, especially made by America and Europe because those always depicts some beautiful scenes or different life styles that I can hardly experience in Taiwan. What’s more, I may have great opportunities to know more about the foreign countries.

In addition, movies and television programs made in other countries are much more interesting than those made in our own country because distinctive genres or types of movies or television shows always made by different countries. For example, movies and television programs made in the United States are always depicting violent and gun shooting scenes or fantasy movies made by high technology. Movies and television programs made in the Korea are always depicting love scenes. Therefore, by watching different movies and television shows made by different countries, we have chances to appreciate those with different feelings.

For the above reasons, I think that movies and television programs made by other counties are more compelling than the home-made movies and television programs.