ISSUE54 热心同学来下吧。必然回改

huchengbinUID: 2817854

TOPIC: ISSUE54 - "History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today."
WORDS: 485
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-8-4 16:47:09

When we open our history book, we can find many history examples which tell us what can do and what cannot do. Are these directions useful? One may assert that history examples exist only for telling story but no useful for our decision today. In my opinion, the history contains the former people's wisdom and experience; we should not be blind to it.

It may be wonder that why something happened many years ago can serve as a guide for us. Admittedly, I concede that everyday our world is suffering changes. The life style, the social customs and the values of people maybe quite different from the people lived many years ago. When the America is a part of British Empire, the Americans enjoyed few democracy; thus if they feel they were treated unequally they had to rise a revolution. Now, the experience is no longer suitable in United States for our advanced democracy. One who suffers unequal treatment can seek help for authority. He or she does not need to exhaust for a revolution. Thus, in some cases, the history experience is not suitable for today's decision.

When we consider the fact that what does our democracy come from, however, we can find the impact of history. It is history that shows us if we do not maintain the democracy, the revolution may come soon. Thus, we should notice that history can still obtain its vivid force because it spring from human nature. Consider the war history of human, why the war broke out again and again. Perhaps it can be attributed to the greed and violence of human. By learning history, one country may restrict its desire and may balance the profit and relationship with other country, thus it may reduce the risk of war. We know that after Germany had been defeated in World War I, Germany soon broke out the World War II. That is most a response of the Versailles Treaty that the other countries imposed it to Germany to punish it, which brought about the hatred of Germans. Because of the history example of the World War, after World War II the allies did not restrict Germany but help them to revive their country. Now, the peace of today indicates that this history experience serves us as a perfect guide.

Not only the history serves for our country, it can also benefit each individual as well. The old saying "history teaching by example" does not just happen. It is also a nutrition for our daily life. When we review the greatness history figures, these great ones never fail to inspire us. When we read the work of Thomas Edison, we can feel strong emotion of the persistence to success; when we read Martin Luther King, we feel the impact for the human rights which urge us to pursuit for the happiness. Thus, the trait of history has its own beautiful insight which fascinates us to enjoy it.


History example is a kind of wisdom. One may say that they are not suitable for today's modern life. However, I am afraid that he or she ignores to investigate the useful of history. With the wisdom of ourselves the history can sure benefit us in many aspects.

huchengbinUID: 2817854

thus去掉，这里没有因果关系 if they feel they were treated unequally they had to rise a revolution.改成they feel they were treated unequally so that they had to rise a revolution是否更好一些？这句真的受教了，哈哈多谢啊。我写的时候就琢磨着这样表达好像怪怪的，但是还是想不出怎么表达好。你一点拨我一下开朗了！！
从民主到战争，中间这个转换似乎有些突兀。我觉得你有必要说明it is another example这个转换确实有问题。我考虑这么写Except the democracy experience, the war history can also provide benefits to our modern decision.Why the war broke out again and again?
The old saying "history teaching by example" does not just happen.这句不是太懂……这句的意思应该是 历史用实例来教导人这句话不是凭空来的。呵呵，不知道用没用对，只是见有人写过history teaching by example。然后背过XXX does not just happen


这段的例子有点太空洞：你只说名人名事能够给与我们什么影响，但没说出具体的影响的结果。我的建议是你可以举一个名人被名人影响的例子，借助他们的口说出历史可以把一个人塑造成伟大的人。
这老毛病了。。。一到最后几段就有点急。。。生怕没时间。目前我只想到了个牛顿和巨人的例子。。其它的还真待思考~~

2# loveyumei

yanhan8862UID: 2852159

字太少了!!说真的，想拿4分以上，550个字还是要的!这点你还是要相信我的

我看完了一遍，细节的地方我就不帮你一一改了，因为我看上面有人看过了。我就说说我大体上的感觉吧。

我们2真应该中和一下，你写的太实在了，显得语句有点僵硬而调和不足，而我写的那篇就是虚无缥缈而实在的东西部够...这是不是星座的原因呢，哈哈！

其实，LZ你应该考虑写点东西来保护自己，伪装自己。说一句话不知道你认不认同，在GRE考场上，装作有实力>真正有实力  其实，你不妨试试写点高调，华丽的东西来调和一下自己的作文，有可能会让你有所提高！

即使你对于这个问题不这么认为，你试试也是好的嘛~试玩了以后，再看看也不迟！

huchengbinUID: 2817854

哈哈，真的哦。是不是真的要走星座上来看哈哈。 4# yanhan8862

huchengbinUID: 2817854

不过关于字数问题你说的多少字以上那确实是有点根据的。但是要建立在对题目的充分展开上啊。假若思维贫乏，玩命用废话堆字数，这个估计给新手看看有效果。但我们最终的目标不是要给那些刚接触GRE的同学来炫耀自己写作能力的啊。 而是要给老谋深算的老美GRE Reader来看的啊。这些作文老师们还看不出你的废话来，我肯定他们教作文那么多年最痛恨的肯定是废话连篇，内容空洞的文章了。。。。。我也建议童鞋不要给表面的东西所迷惑，GRE考的还是一个思维，先把思维功夫做足了。华丽的语言要建立在华丽的思维上撒。 4# yanhan8862

lenovo5UID: 179144

"Not only the history serves for our country, it can also benefit each individual as well. "
改成这样好些？
Not only can the history serve our country, but also benefit each individual.

GlastiumUID: 2638821

When we open our history book, we can find many history examples which tell us what can do and what cannot do. Are these directions useful? One may assert that history examples exist only for telling story(brainwashing比较有震撼力XD) but no useful for our decision today. In my opinion, the history contains the former people's wisdom and experience(former people???囧好像好奇怪啊.xxx of our fathers/ancestors听起来正常点，可能是我孤陋寡闻了); we should not be blind to it.

It may be wonder that(这个that可以不要吧……) why something(改What) happened many years ago can serve as a guide for us. Admittedly, I concede that(改it?) everyday our world is suffering(suffering囧..好奇怪啊 直接changing好了..) changes. The life style, the social customs and the values of people maybe quite different from the(不用the吧..) people lived many years ago. When the America is(时态囧) a part of British Empire, the Americans enjoyed few democracy; thus(很奇怪这里用thus..) if they feel they were treated unequally they had to rise a revolution. Now, the experience is no longer suitable in United States for our advanced democracy. One who suffers unequal treatment can seek help for authority(authority???). He or she does not need to exhaust for a revolution. Thus, in some cases, the history experience is not suitable for today's decision.
感觉这个例子很奇怪啊..没什么现实的对照，只是写个现在可以怎样怎样，但没有例子？如果过去有例子现在没例子不太好吧

When we consider the fact that what does our democracy come from, however, we can find the impact of history(抱歉没读懂..). It is history that shows us if we do not maintain the democracy, the revolution may come soon. Thus, we should notice that history can still obtain its vivid force because it spring(s?sprout?) from human nature. Consider the war history of human, why the war broke out again and again.(这句不是完整句吧……) Perhaps it can be attributed to the greed and violence of human. By learning history, one country may restrict its desire and may balance the profit and relationship with other country, thus it may reduce the risk of war. We know that after Germany had been defeated in World War I, Germany soon broke out the World War II. That is most a response of the Versailles Treaty that the other countries imposed it to Germany to punish it, which brought about the hatred of Germans. Because of the history example of the World War, after World War II the allies did not restrict Germany but help them to revive their country.(感觉重复罗嗦了……) Now, the peace of today indicates that this history experience serves us as a perfect guide.
这例子也很..奇怪。前面说Perhaps it can be attributed to the greed and violence of human。结果后面来个Because of the history example of the World War, after World War II the allies did not restrict Germany but help them to revive their country。我觉得这跟issue题目有关系吗……这好像是在讨论人性而不是历史的见证作用吧？囧

Not only the history serves for our country, it can also benefit each individual as well. The old saying "history teaching by example" does not just happen. It is also a nutrition for our daily life. When we review the greatness history figures, these great ones never fail to inspire us. When we read the work of Thomas Edison, we can feel strong emotion of the persistence to success; when we read Martin Luther King, we feel the impact for the human rights which urge us to pursuit for the happiness. Thus, the trait of history has its own beautiful insight which fascinates us to enjoy it.(这句话...跟issue题目没啥关系吧..)


History example is a kind of wisdom.(啊？这是啥意思？) One may say that they are not suitable for today's modern life.（单复数..） However, I am afraid that he or she ignores to investigate the useful of history. With the wisdom of ourselves the history can sure benefit us in many aspects.


总体想法是挺好的，开头也很强力的用历史书引入了，但是感觉中间文章论证不够充分。。可能是时间不够的原因吧~


同求拍喔～https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1128691-1-1.html

huchengbinUID: 2817854

对啊。这样倒装了，语言更地道了！！谢谢 9# lenovo5

leehepburnUID: 2966701

LZ的总体思路写的不错，没有离题。个人只是感觉第二段的论证力度没有第三段写的好。对于第二段中“历史不能帮我们做今天的重要决定”的内容，您是否能考虑一下加一些“刻舟求剑、不考虑现实情况”的内容进去以便引出第三段。

nofeelings811UID: 2388638

10# Glastium

我不同意将telling story 改成brainwashing，两者有严格的区别，讲故事除了有可能会洗脑之外，还有消遣的作用，最普遍的作用是丰富我们的内心，所以两个词的词性是不同的