关于读了 irvine666开头段的问题，还有两天就考了

润舞无声UID: 2740896

前段时间把argument专项突破里面大牛的帖子差不多都看了一遍，可是却疑问重重。 二战了，以前用的是xdf的模板废话开头，但是成绩不理想。后来看到大家说不能重复题目之类的，就又开始迷糊了。主要参考了irvine666的“争取高分，从第一印象开始---被人忽视的argument开头”https://bbs.gter.net/thread-920961-1-1.html
但是不是弄得很明白，我把我用那个方法写的两个开头拿出来给大家看看，大家帮帮忙看看我写的够不够irvine666的要求的，谢谢各位了，感激不尽！！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

（前提1）13年前的，25个婴儿的研究结论——〉（推论1）与早秋怀孕和当时分泌的某种激素有关系——〉（结论前半部分）某种激素增加导致婴儿羞涩。
（前提2）跟踪调查婴儿成年后的情况——〉（结论后半部分）羞涩会持续。

我写的开头：
Grounding on two studies on the same group of infants thirteen years before and after , supposing that pregnancy in early autumn is related to melatonin released during that time , the author accordingly suggests that infants’ shyness are caused by the increased melatonin before their birth and this kind of shyness still with them later . However, careful examination of these two studies reveals that lends little credible support to the claim.


还有一个

1The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."


我写的开头：Grounding on previous experience, supposing residents in P are highly concerned with leading healthy lives, the author accordingly suggest that we should build our next new store in P. However, careful examination of these two studies reveals that lends little credible support to the claim.






对于irvine666讲的类似模板的“Grounding on the study in East Meria, supposing that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, and then synthesizing the two hypothesizes and another factor that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, the author accordingly suggests that the daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. However …” 中间有一部分“and then synthesizing the two..”我怎么想都不知道要怎么用。。我比较笨，大家帮我看看我理解他的意思了吗？谢谢！！

adammaksimUID: 2675466

lz可以试试自己缩写agrue的题目，控制在50字以内作为开头，比较保险，然后把主要精力放在body上～66那种不熟练的话，很容易浪费很多时间在开头

润舞无声UID: 2740896

2# adammaksim
谢谢你的回答！请问你指的总结文章的是这样的吗？
In this argument, the author claims that…. To support this claim, the author…. In addition, the author provides the evidence that... Carefully examination of these supporting evidences and researches, however, reveals that they lend little credible support to the conclusion.
我以前用的就是这样的

irvine666UID: 2575525

我没打算给你个模板用，只是提供思维方式，仅供参考。
你完全可以总结属于自己的开头方式，不一定要去照抄我给的那个。
我也不打包票这样就能得高分，因为ETS老师喜欢啥我肯定是不可能知道的。

润舞无声UID: 2740896

4# irvine666
我是觉得irvine666写的好才想要去学习的啊。但是自己比较笨，所以不知道自己学的到不到位，想问问的。没有别的意思，不要误会了啊:)
我这样写可以吗？

irvine666UID: 2575525

可以，只要你理得清正文的逻辑关系怎么写都行的

关键词不建议用我原来的那几个，搜搜意思差不多的换掉吧，我估计这原文有不少人照抄过了...

润舞无声UID: 2740896

6# irvine666
好~多谢指教