Superchaos的作文贴……

superchaosUID: 2863434

I've graded your "advertising" passage. It deserves a 5 although 4.5 is a possibility. No need to improve it.

Cheers,
D
dxjj 发表于 2010-8-22 15:19

Well, I have to say your comment really is a stimulus to me, thanks :), and I'll definitely keep practicing.

dxjjUID: 2885844

I've graded your "Sports" passage and it has got a 3. My suggestion is to treat it as a discussion on whether playing sports teaches people more than any other activities. You should rewrite it this time.

Cheers,
D

superchaosUID: 2863434

I've graded your "Sports" passage and it has got a 3. My suggestion is to treat it as a discussion on whether playing sports teaches people more than any other activities. You should rewrite it this t ...
dxjj 发表于 2010-8-22 16:24

Dear dxjj:

First of all, I sincerely appreciate you spent time reading the passages and gave me the suggestions accordingly. Thank you!

Based on what you've stated, I do feel like I kind of misunderstood the direction that the topic requires to write.

You know, the truth is that my parterns who modified my composition didn't clearify the defect of the inaccurate paper structure.
What they noticed were the stentences and words I used, which I get satisfied without re-thinking too much of the whole formation of the passage.

Anyway, thank you sooo much for the advice, I'll rewrite it later today.

Best regards

Superchaos

superchaosUID: 2863434

19th AUG
2008.12.5 NA
Do you agree or disagree: Playing sports give you more lessons about the life.

Having been presented and developing for centuries, sports activities are playing increasingly significant role in people’s daily life, from enhancing the quality of our bodies to strengthening our awareness of many virtues such as teamwork and never giving up. It is no doubt that playing sports can teach us more lessons about life.

The most essential meaning of taking sports activities is that it promotes people’s physical conditions. It is the most common lesson, whereas also most fundamental lesson that playing sports teaches for every human being, from every young till aged. No matter professional or mature, people who take part in all kinds of sports activities either for the highly honored competition or simply for fun have accesses to strengthen their bodies, to become healthier. This phenomenon is ubiquitous, while its significance is irreplaceable. It is acknowledged that whenever a little child is born with weak healthy condition, his/her parents would train him/her with certain sports exercises to help the kid establish more sturdy physical body. The essence of playing sports is handed down from generation to generation.

Arise from these healthy physical influences, participating sports can teach people a lot of things that could not be taught from books. How can you tell the exact meaning of teamwork without organizing them to play a basketball game? How can you express the spirit of “never give up” without letting students experience the physical limitation in a running race? And how can you teach children the real excitement of triumph without leading them win a severe football match? To some extends, sports activities are not merely the ways of exercising, they are both useful and practical means by which people can utilize to learn a lot.

Moreover, playing sports have the function of fostering more positive attitude towards life. From group activities like basketball games to those that need only personal involvement, taking part in sports enables people to become more vigorous and energetic, since only by doing this can they continue all kinds of activities such as study or work or sports.

Playing sports is not a kind of impulsive, but it requires regular schedules and continuous participate, and days go by, we will appreciate the lessons it teaches to us, both physically and mentally.

jeanne_zjUID: 2733238

改好了~
superchaos0821.doc (23 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-8-23 16:04:44 上传

下载次数: 4

superchaosUID: 2863434

23rd Aug Integrated Writing TPO6

The reading passage explores three disadvantages of communal online encyclopedias.However, the professor in the listening passage provides three specific arguments to disprove the defects of communal online encyclopedias that the reading passage has pointed out.

First, the professor argues that the errors in the communal online encyclopedias are easy to modify. Because of the accessibility of Internet, once an error is noticed it can be modified immediately, whereas the traditional encyclopedias’ errors may remain for decades even though they are spotted.

Moreover, the professor contends that crucial parts of the information in communal online encyclopedias are protected in special format whose rectified power can only be accessed by certain people. Besides, there are special editors online to monitor to ensure the accuracy of the encyclopedias. Therefore, both the hacking problem and the tampering issue would not be big ones.

Finally, by stating that users of communal online encyclopedias have more options about what they are looking for, the professor proves the most significant advantage of communal online encyclopedias: they provide more various of all kinds of information, compared with the fact of traditional ones that it is the editors that confine the aspects of the information, leaving only less scope of the knowledge for readers to learn.

superchaosUID: 2863434

8月24日交
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

Amongst various kinds of vocations, it tends to be hard for people to locate their desire one by trying merely once. Before they take a long term career, young man will benefit from experiencing several different jobs.

The biggest advantages of trying several different jobs are that it can help young people broaden their sights, as well as get acquainted with all kinds of people which are involved in different fields. Nowadays the competition in society is such a severe one that people can hardly adjust to it if they are constrained by their specific majors. The drawback is that the options are really narrowed down by focusing on certain kind of occupation. To be more competitive, young people should have the capacity to accommodate different job requirements, under which the young can attempt several different career selections, which will help them extend their understanding of work, broaden their sights of job. Moreover, doing different jobs brings more opportunities to know different kinds of people, who will be helpful and directive for young people to diminish the chances of becoming lost.

Aside from these effects, taking several different jobs can guide young people to find their real interest more easily and practically. It is acknowledged that interests play a significant role in people’s life career. If not interested in what he/she is doing, people will lose enthusiasm shortly after years of work. However, by participating diverse kinds of jobs, young people gradually discover and develop their interest, and consequently, these empirical practices help them realize the desirable sort of vocation they are pursuing, which will influence young man’s future job decisions positively.

A long term career is what you do for years or even decades. To be fully prepared for such a decision, young people should better involve several different jobs to establish their better understanding of word and to clarify their interests from within.

SilentScorpiusUID: 2686998

21# superchaos
23rd Aug Integrated Writing TPO62 F) D) |* I/ y% b7 m; z

The reading passage explores three disadvantages of communal online encyclopedias. And the professor in the listening lecture deals with the same issue(这样就是说，prof也在找缺点了。这句话可以删去). However, she provides three specific arguments to disprove the defects of communal online encyclopedias that the reading passage has pointed out.+ y, a3 J2 Z$ c0 B( t

First, the professor argues that the errors in the communal online encyclopedias are easy to modify. Because of the accessibility of Internet, once an error is noticed it can be modified immediately, whereas the traditional encyclopedias’ errors may remain for decays(decades) even thought(though) they are spotted.

Moreover, the professor contends that crucial parts of the information in communal online encyclopedias are protected in special format whose rectified power can only be accessed by certain people. Besides, there are special editors online to monitor to ensure to accuracy of the encyclopedias(这里to重复太多了，考虑换个说法。in order to ensure the accuracy of the encyclopedias, there are special editors online to monitor changes). Therefore, the hacking problem(不仅仅是hacking，还有随意篡改) wouldn’t be a big one.1 }4 L$ b( R& Y! C% ?  ?

Finally, by stating that users of communal online encyclopedias have more options about what they are looking for, the professor proves the most significant advantage of communal online encyclopedias: they provide more various of(重复) all kinds of information, compared with the fact of traditional ones that it is the editors that confine the aspects of the information, leaving(leave) less scope of the knowledge for readers to learn.

结构很清晰，不错不错。就是有些小词有问题。

bayaUID: 2697520

RThe reading passage explores three disadvantages of communal online encyclopedias. And the professor in the listening lecture deals with the same issue.(最好改一下，的确有歧义~) However, she provides three specific arguments to disprove the defects of communal online encyclopedias that the reading passage has pointed out.* ~6 v- ?+ T% ?- ]; ~



" X; W; r) w2 K+ n0 Z. JFirst, the professor argues that the errors in the communal online encyclopedias are easy to modify（词性不对吧？这个词我不熟~）. Because of the accessibility of Internet, once an error is noticed it can be modified immediately, whereas the traditional encyclopedias’ errors may remain for decays even thought they are spotted.( J  B! X. V3 a8 [: _
7 b: z' e( F- o6 F" ~; s
Moreover, the professor contends that crucial parts of the information in communal online encyclopedias are protected in special format whose rectified power can only be accessed by certain people. Besides, there are special editors online to monitor to ensure to accuracy of the encyclopedias. Therefore, the hacking problem wouldn’t（书面语最好不要缩写） be a big one.



, s# O2 [  z/ u. O 3 t: @8 S6 n  F( h5 t8 V" J
Finally, by stating that users of communal online encyclopedias have more options about what they are looking for, the professor proves the most significant advantage of communal online encyclopedias: they provide more various of all kinds of information, compared with the fact of traditional ones that it is the editors that confine the aspects of the information, leaving less scope of the knowledge for readers to learn.

感觉同上~注意措辞~问题不大~要点~也都在

superchaosUID: 2863434

24th Aug
TPO7

About the phenomenon of adopting new practices to receive eco-certification, the reading passage explores three aspects: citizens’ attitude, price and market to prove that companies in the United States will not do the same as foreign counterpart do. However, the professor in the lecture reputes all the points accordingly by offering convincing reasons.

First, the professor contends that regardless of the fact that consumers do not concern about the advertisement, American people tend to treat them differently, that is to say, consumers’ attitude reverses if the advertisement is conducted by some prestige organization.

Second, the professor claims that based on the price consideration, American consumers is likely to swing much only if the price difference differs a lot. Since the prices of wood products are all about the same level, other factors like some certifications will be taken into account. Therefore those wood products who have obtained the eco-certification would benefit from the competition.

Third, rather than focusing to the domestic market exclusively as stated in the reading passage, the professor asserts that these wood companies should be aware the threatens imposed from abroad since the competition has become global. Many foreign wood corporations would hit into American market, and consequently without necessary competitive qualification like eco-certification, domestic wood companies will definitely lose their share in the market.

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

那个，lz啊，你的等级是新兵之后，就可以上传附件了哦

Colin_hUID: 2855722

22# superchaos
改好啦

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

楼主功底相当好啊

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

LZ请原谅可能迟点给你修改作文。我在北美，有时差啊。见谅见谅....

superchaosUID: 2863434

25th AUG Independent Writing
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Of various things that a job offers people, the payment is definitely an important consideration. Meanwhile, different salary levels undoubtedly reflect different vacation systems. As for me personally, I incline to choose a job with a high salary but less vacation time, compared with the one with more vacation time but a low salary.

First, amongst the various considerations of an ideal job, such as salary standards, vacation schedules, and work environment etc., it is the high payment that I care most when looking for a job. Born in 1980s and raised up when our country is being developing at an unprecedented speed, I am deeply influenced by the severe competition and the brutal living environment. To lead a better life, I have to earn a lot of money merely to support a big family in great poverty, not to mention to satisfy my own needs. In our generation, working with low salary means you are tagged as loser. If that is the case, everything in your life is devastating: you are deprived from the good opportunity to date with a beautiful girl, and you will feel humiliated in front of old classmate who have made a lot of fortune, even worse, you have no confidence to go back to class reunion annually. Once it is associated with prestige and comparison, the income level seems to be the most powerful weapon. Nobody is willing to lose this battle. All they are striving for is to get rewarded by an agreeable payment when looking for a job. What about the leisure? What about the vacation plans?
I have to admit it is my last consideration.

Aside from this, less vacation time means that I would cherish every chance more when I have a vacation. It is acknowledged that whatever you do, the more time you do, the less pleasure you will enjoy. So does this principle apply to this phenomenon. I regard vacations as a valuable compensation for daily work. Once a vacation is scheduled for me, I would definitely enjoy it, totally forget all the annoyance, and play freely with my family or companions. That is the essence of a vacation, and it does not alter by the times of vacation you have.

As I grow old, I may demand for more vacations and concern less about the salary I gain, but right now, I definitely choose a job with high salary even though it offers less vacation time.