TXT argu53 baotian1

baotian1UID: 2797192

In this argument, the author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before infants' birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness will last into their later life. This argument has flaws in three aspects. First, the sample of 25 infants is too limited and the survey does not convince. Second, the relation between increased melatonin and infants' shyness looks no causal relationship. Third, the author fails to demonstrate why the shyness will continue into later life. Now, I will analyze the three flaws one by one as following.

First of all, the sample of 25 is not enough to evidence the conclusion. These infants' mild distress may cause by other medical reasons, but the author does not rule out every possibilities. Also, the author does not provide information about the gender, ages and characteristics of these infants. For example, maybe levels of melatonin only work out on boys, or maybe these infants coincide to be introverted. In addition, in the following study, the author has not told what kind of environment these infants live in their later life. Without the information, we cannot detect anything to conduct the conclusion.

Furthermore, although the author explains that melatonin will affect some brain function, he/she has not demonstrated how melatonin causes distress. We do not know whether melatonin only can affect mothers or how it can affect infants. Perhaps, the infant's shyness showing in the research is just a random event rather than a consequence of their mom's higher production of melatonin. So we cannot believe this reason unless the author can make clear the science evidences.

Last but not least, even if the study is reliable, the author concludes too soon that the levels of melatonin will affect infants' continued life. Just depending on these 25 teenagers’ shyness, it cannot conduct the conclusion. These teenagers’ shyness may cause by many factors, like the living environment, parents' education and living habits. Besides, we do not know how severe the melatonin can work and how long it will last in infants' body? Lacking the information, it is hard to make any claim.

All in all, as what I have mentioned above, the author fails to provide sufficient evidences to convince us his/her assertion. If the author can give us more details about the survey, more individuals about the sample and also rule out other possibilities which may cause infants' distress now and later life, we can better access this conclusion.

冬木琉璃UID: 2752392

In this argument, the author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before infants' birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness will last into their later life. This argument has flaws in three aspects. First, the sample of 25 infants is too limited and the survey does not convince（convince貌似是不及物动词 后面要跟宾语 这句话好像不该用and连接 so that比较好）. Second, the relation between increased melatonin and infants' shyness looks no causal relationship. Third, the author fails to demonstrate why the shyness will continue into later life. Now, I will analyze the three flaws one by one as following. (感觉第一段后半部分和主题句有点重复了，貌似可以省略哦 毕竟考场上三十分钟挺紧的)
First of all, the sample of 25 is not enough to evidence the conclusion. （本段首句是主题句 应该说调查整体存在问题 然后继续分开论述样本数量问题和质量问题）These infants' mild distress may be caused by other medical reasons, but the author does not rule out every possibilities(other alternatives).（上面这句放在这里位置就不对了 这跟调查没有具体关系 他因的话可以自成一段……） Also, the author does not provide information about the gender, ages and other characteristics of these infants. For example, maybe levels of melatonin only work out on boys, or maybe these infants coincide to be introverted. In addition, in the following study, the author has not told what kind of environment these infants live in their later life. Without the information, we cannot detect anything to conduct the conclusion.（总感觉这个搭配很奇怪 呵呵）
Furthermore, although the author explains that melatonin will affect some brain function, he/she has not demonstrated how melatonin causes distress. We do not know either whether melatonin only can affect mothers or how it can affect infants. Perhaps, the infant's shyness showing in the research is just a random event rather than a consequence of their mom's higher production of melatonin. So we cannot believe this reason unless the author can make clear the science(scientific) evidences.(感觉这个没有解释清楚呀 不知道的信息和perhaps后面的内容没有相关性呢 应该具体解释不知道的内容如何削弱了作者的结论)
Last but not least, even if the study is reliable, the author concludes too soon that the levels of melatonin will affect infants' continued life. Just depending on these 25 teenagers’ shyness, it cannot conduct the conclusion.（这个跟第一个调查问题重了，又说到调查的不准确性上了，应该换种角度说）These teenagers’ shyness may be caused by many（other） factors, like the living environment, parents' education and living habits. （应该先指出错误类型，再说上面这句话 这个他因类错误单独就可以写成一段）Besides, we do not know how severe the melatonin can work and how long it will last in infants' body? Lacking the information, it is hard to make any claim.（最后这一句没有说服力，而且跟第二点问题有点重复）（这一段感觉挺混乱的。）
All in all, as what I have mentioned above, the author fails to provide sufficient evidences to convince us his/her assertion. If the author can give us more details about the survey, more individuals about the sample and also rule out other possibilities which may cause infants' distress now and later life, we can better access this conclusion.


唉 感觉逻辑还不太清楚哈 有点意识流~ argument重要的是条理性 想好逻辑关系再写 耽误些时间把关系理清比单纯码字数好的多哦 只把错误指出是觉对不够的 还要具体说错误原理

多多研习范文，自己多想想再和范文的比对 会有提高哦

其实模板的条理性挺强的 每类逻辑错误都有固定攻击结构 可以先对照模板理理思路再写

Argument 多思考比写很多篇重要的多……