SELA的作业argument53 大家拍！！！！！

zqz41932UID: 2879928

Argument 53
In the argument, the arguer claims that increased levels of melatonin in the mother’s pregnancy causes infant’s shyness and the shyness continues into later life. To support the conclusion, the argument cites the result that 25 infants who experienced a high level of their mother's production of melatonin which is known to affect some brain functions in a research 13 years ago showed mild distress under unfamiliar environment. The argument also cites the result that most of these children think themselves shy in a recently follow-up study. Admittedly, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing, however, through thoroughly analysis, it actually commits several substantially fallacies.

First of all, the sample in the research can not represent to make a general conclusion. The argument does not provide enough information about these infants such as the metal health situation. As we know, if these infants had some physic disasters, they would also show signs of distress. Moreover, the sample is not sufficient to make the claim. Therefore, without ruling out these possible reasons and given sufficient samples, the arguer can not make me convincing.

Secondly, even though the sample can represent to make conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the signs of mild distress and the increasing level of mother's production of melatonin. Just as informed, the melatonin-a hormone- which increases in autumn is known could affect some brain functions because of decreased sunlight does not mean resulting to the signs of distress. As we known, brain has many functions which could be influenced by many other factors. There is no evidence to imply the level of melatonin indeed leads to distress. Consequently, on the basis of these facts, the argument can not justify the causality.

Finally, even if this causality is valid, the arguer also can not make conclusion that the shyness continues into later life. The recent study ignores some other possible reasons that would make these teenagers shy. For example, the situation of their lives can influence their character. Furthermore, just as mentioned in the argument, not every children identified themselves as shy hints some other factors can affect the character of these children.

To conclude, the arguer fails to make me convince the conclusion. To better support the argument, the arguer would have provided more samples and information about these samples to make a general claim. Similarly, to better evaluate the argument, we would need to know whether the melatonin indeed causes shyness and whether other factors can also cause shyness.

zee_ccUID: 2849524

Argument 53
In the argument, the arguer claims that increased levels of melatonin in the mother’s pregnancy causes infant’s shyness and the shyness continues into later life. To support the conclusion, the argument cites the result that 25 infants who experienced a high level of their mother's production of melatonin which is known to affect some brain functions in a research 13 years ago showed mild distress under unfamiliar environment. The argument also cites the result that most of these children think themselves shy in a recently follow-up study. Admittedly, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing, however, through thoroughly analysis, it actually commits several substantially fallacies.(好长的开头……)

First of all, the sample in the research can not represent to make a general conclusion. The argument does not provide enough information about these infants such as the metal health situation. As we know, if these infants had some physic disasters, they would also show signs of distress. Moreover, the sample is not sufficient to make the claim.（应该再说的具体一些。人数太少么？）
Therefore, without ruling out these possible reasons and given sufficient samples, the arguer can not make me convincing.

Secondly, even though the sample can represent to make conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the signs of mild distress and the increasing level of mother's production of melatonin. Just as informed, the melatonin-a hormone- which increases in autumn is known could affect some brain functions because of decreased sunlight does not mean resulting to the signs of distress.（不必解释这么多吧which从句去掉就可以。） As we known, brain has many functions which could be influenced by many other factors. （other factor 是什么？展开）There is no evidence to imply the level of melatonin indeed leads to distress. Consequently, on the basis of these facts, the argument can not justify the causality.

Finally, even if this causality is valid, the arguer also can not make conclusion that the shyness continues into later life. The recent study ignores some other possible reasons that would make these teenagers shy. For example, the situation of their lives can （such as….）influence their character. Furthermore, just as mentioned in the argument, not every children identified themselves as shy hints some other factors can affect the character of these children.

To conclude, the arguer fails to make me convince the conclusion. To better support the argument, the arguer would have provided more samples and information about these samples to make a general claim. Similarly, to better evaluate the argument, we would need to know whether the melatonin indeed causes shyness and whether other factors can also cause shyness.

总之我觉得楼主对错误论述的不是太详细，模板化挺严重的。本人不才啊，而且是第一次改别人的文章，LZ选择性听取意见~我也在纠结ARGUMENT中。哈哈，一起加油吧。

smile_annieUID: 2689995

Argument 53
In this argument, the arguer claims that increased levels of melatonin in (delete "the") mother’s pregnancy causes infant’s shyness and the shyness continues (infancies') later life. To support the conclusion, the argument cites the result that 25 infants who experienced a high level of their mother's production of melatonin which is known to affect some brain functions in a research 13 years ago showed mild distress under unfamiliar environment. The argument also cites the result that most of these children think themselves shy in a recently follow-up study. Admittedly, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing, however, through thoroughly analysis, it actually commits several substantially fallacies.

First of all, the sample in the research can not (cannot) represent a general conclusion. The argument does not provide enough information about these infants such as the metal health situation. As we know, if these infants had some physic ("disasters" is not suitable, consider other words like disabilities, or disease), they would also show signs of distress. Moreover, the sample is not sufficient to make the claim. Therefore, without ruling out these possible reasons and given sufficient samples, the arguer can not make me convincing.

Secondly, even though the sample can represent to make conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship(_good) between the signs of mild distress and the increasing level of mother's production of melatonin. Just as informed, the melatonin-a hormone- which increases in autumn is known could affect some brain functions because of decreased sunlight，  (adding "which") does not mean it will result to the signs of distress. As we known, brain has many functions which could be influenced by many other factors. There is no evidence to imply the level of melatonin indeed leads to distress. Consequently, on the basis of these facts, the argument can not justify the causality.

Finally, even if this causality is valid, the arguer also cannot make conclusion that the shyness continues (adding "exists") into their later life. The recent study ignores some other possible reasons that would make these teenagers shy. For example, the situation of their lives (which situation, it is better for you to give a specific example) can influence their character. Furthermore, just as mentioned in the argument, not every children identified themselves as shy hints some other factors can affect the character of these children.

To conclude, the arguer fails to make me convince the conclusion. To better support the argument, the arguer would have provided more samples and information about these samples to make a general claim. Similarly, to better evaluate the argument, we  (delete would )need to know whether the melatonin indeed causes shyness and whether other factors can also cause shyness.

还是很有层次的，但是有的表达不是很到位，可以写的详尽一些。 一起加油啊！

zqz41932UID: 2879928

2# zee_cc
感谢菜菜！！！！呜呜，你说的正说到小女子的心坎里了，我这篇argument绝对是论据不足，欠缺例子，恩恩，而且模板化太严重，哎，纠结啊
，我要继续改进，恩，谢谢菜菜，你真的很细心！

zee_ccUID: 2849524

4# zqz41932
没关系的，我开始练ARGU的时候也是死套模板，后来某天发现这样不行，现在开始慢慢的抛弃模板了~~

加油练就一定没问题啦~~可以加Q一起交流下哦~:loveliness: