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[a习作temp] 第二篇作文Argument 2求猛拍!写完真想买块豆腐来着。。。 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-8-17 18:53:00 |显示全部楼层
就是不知道该怎么表达自己的想法,严重超时。。。问题很严重


TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners
from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on
how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should
be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise
property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping
and housepainting."
七年前,附近的Brookville社区的业主实施了一系列关于该社区的庭院应如何布置以及房屋应涂
何种颜色的规定。从那以后,Brookville的地产平均价格翻了三番。为使Deerhaven Acres的地
产升值,我们也应该对于景观和房屋涂色实施自己的规定。
我的提纲:
1、 Brookville地产均价提高不一定是因为统一外观
2、 不能类推Deerhaven Acres统一外观后也能取得相同结果
3、 七年前有用不一定现在还有用
WORDS: 338          TIME: 01:30:00          DATE: 2010/8/17 17:01:55

After citing the experience of Brookville community, a committee of homeowners from the
Deerhaven Acres (DA) recommends that homeowners in DA should adopt a set of restrictions
on landscaping and house painting, which can enhance their property values. However, if we take
a closer look at the letter, we will find it unconvincing for several reasons.

First of all, the committee unfairly assumes that it is the restrictions they implemented that result
in the increase of property values in Broolville. There may be other possible reasons. Perhaps
the transportation of Broolville is convenient, like near a bus stop or subway station; the facilities
in Broolville are advanced; or just because of the terrible inflation. Lacking descriptions of these
factors, I remain unconvinced of the assumption.

Even assuming that the restrictions are responsible to the rising property values in Broolville, the
committee falsely assumes that by the same means DA will achieve the same result. The
committee fails to consider possible differences between Broolville and DA that might bring
about a different result. It is entirely possible that people interested in DA do not care about the
exteriors of homes, then it is unnecessary to implement the restrictions. What is more, the
transportation, the environment and the architecture might also be much different comparing with
Broolville. Without taking into account these or other differences, the committee's assumption is
unconvincing.

Moreover, people can accept uniform appearances of homes seven years ago do not mean they
can also accept them today. What if people today pay more attention to personalities? For that
matter, they may prefer to paint their house in a particular color or decorate their landscapes in a
particular way. The restrictions might make them antipathy. And if people do not like the houses,
they are unwilling to buy them, let alone the property values will increase.

In sum, the committee's recommendation of homeowners in DA should adopt the set of
restrictions is not well-reasoned. In order to persuade me, more information about Broolville and
DA should be provided.

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发表于 2010-8-17 22:51:58 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 zee_cc 于 2010-8-17 22:53 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners
from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on
how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should
be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise
property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping
and housepainting."
七年前,附近的Brookville社区的业主实施了一系列关于该社区的庭院应如何布置以及房屋应涂
何种颜色的规定。从那以后,Brookville的地产平均价格翻了三番。为使Deerhaven Acres的地
产升值,我们也应该对于景观和房屋涂色实施自己的规定。
我的提纲:
1、 Brookville地产均价提高不一定是因为统一外观
2、 不能类推Deerhaven Acres统一外观后也能取得相同结果
3、 七年前有用不一定现在还有用
WORDS: 338          TIME: 01:30:00          DATE: 2010/8/17 17:01:55

After citing the experience of Brookville community, a committee of homeowners from the
Deerhaven Acres (DA) recommends that homeowners in DA should adopt a set of restrictions
on landscaping and house painting, which can enhance their property values. However, if we take
a closer look at the letter, we will find it unconvincing for several reasons.

First of all, the committee unfairly assumes that it is the restrictions they implemented that result
in the increase of property values in Broolville. There may be other possible reasons. Perhaps
the transportation of Broolville is convenient(more convenient), like near a bus stop or subway station; the facilities
in Broolville are( 还是喜欢加个more) advanced; or just because of the terrible inflation(导致货币贬值价格虚高). Lacking descriptions of these factors, I remain unconvinced of the assumption.

Even assuming that the restrictions are responsible to the rising property values in Broolville, the
committee falsely assumes that by the same means DA will achieve the same result. The
committee fails to consider possible differences between Broolville and DA that might bring
about a different result. It is entirely possible that people interested in DA do not care about the
exteriors of homes, then it is unnecessary to implement the restrictions. What is more, the
transportation, the environment and the architecture might also be much different comparing with
Broolville. (可以说具体怎么不同)Without taking into account these or other differences, the committee's assumption is
unconvincing.

Moreover, people can accept uniform appearances of homes seven years ago do not mean they
can also accept them today. What if people today pay more attention to personalities? For that
matter, they may prefer to paint their house in a particular color or decorate their landscapes in a
particular way. The restrictions might make them antipathy. And if people do not like the houses,
they are unwilling to buy them, let alone the property values will increase.(个人认为把这个问题和第二个问题调换一下逻辑更加清楚一些)

In sum, the committee's recommendation of homeowners in DA should adopt the set of
restrictions is not well-reasoned. In order to persuade me, more information about Broolville and
DA should be provided.

个人拙见,LZ要有信心啊,总体还不错啦,错误点挺明确的~

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RE: 第二篇作文Argument 2求猛拍!写完真想买块豆腐来着。。。 [修改]

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第二篇作文Argument 2求猛拍!写完真想买块豆腐来着。。。
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1140676-1-1.html
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