issue 7 请各位英语大神给点意见~~~谢谢了~~~

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以下是小弟的练笔一篇。。。说来惭愧。。用了不少时间。。。请给我英语高手评一评~~~讲一讲~~衷心谢了~~~~
The growing significance of the video camera
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation then written records.

As mankind strides into the digital era, some burning issues are raised concerning the increasing significance of digital tools. Whether the video camera which is able to offer an amazingly accurate and convincing record of contemporary life can take the place of written records in the form of documentation is a most controversial one. In my opinion, though video camera gains advantages in many fields, written style remains an irreplaceable form of documentation.
Admittedly, when it comes to the spatial documentation, video camera is, out of question, the most perfect tool. I believe even a consummate writer or journalist is unable to vivify the splendor of a ceremony or the solemnness of a religious rite in that the reality and subtlety of these scenes are truly beyond description. Thus, to relish the excitement of the Super Bowl, to capture the ecstatic expression of jubilant crowd before the shattered Berlin Walls, to share the sadness of those who are afflicted by war and poverty in Iraq and Africa, and to restore the historic truth, video camera can be considered the most effective tool of documentation.
Yet, when it comes to the contextual documentation such as the signing of some legal matters or agreements which possess permanent historic or business importance, video camera is of no practice use. Some precious historic files are the best examples——though written more than two hundred years ago, the spirit of freedom in the Declaration of Independence still echoes in our age; nowadays people can still witness the shining greatness of the Enlightenment Movement in the modern Europe through the Declaration of Rights of Man by the French sage Jean-Jacque Rousseau. Indeed, these historic treasures give a strong prove that whenever it is, the written form remains a crucial evidences in documentation.
Moreover, video camera is found little use in documenting statistic or other quantitative information. For example, when a store is on fire, can you imagine relying on a video camera to documenting the financial loss to a store owner? And number of the police and firefighters involved, and so forth. An accurate video documentation, of course, fails to give the complete and scientific statistic information in this incident. And then it is time to use written records to quantify these numbers
In sum, the speaker really overstates the significance of the video camera in documentation. Though I would give my consent that the digital tools can render us sharp and clear scene of some grand events and they are indescribable, in signing some complex contextual content or to document some statistic information, written style keeps its irreplaceable role and can provide the same everlasting effect as video camera can give. Therefore, even in the digital era, the meaning of written documentation should not be erased, but highly valued.