作文帖 by nishuowoshei

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

9.9 作业
望狠拍~

rysfUID: 2514937

改的不好 见谅

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

9.14 作文

fjczxxUID: 2414611

18# nishuowoshei

We all suffer from pressure come from rapidly developedsociety.High costs of life, peer competition and danger to lose our jobfulfill our daily lives., Wwecannot stop to think about such issues. Then some people prefer take part injobs with low paying salary but more guarantee in order to having a steadylife, others choose jobs with high payments but relatively lower salary. Bothof them are reasonable. But in my opinion, I think I wouldparticipate in a job with high salary but lower guarantee. I will give concretediscussion as follow.

Admittedly, there are many people hold a view of opinionthat what they really want from life is steady and peace, thesepeace. Theseones dislike such kind of lives fulfilled withcompetition and risks. Living in an ordinary life, what they shouldpay for their peaceful life is gain a job with lower salary which equals toless competition with others.

As far as I concerned, a job with low payment does notdirectly indicate a relatively higher security for this job. How much you earnreflects what level status in the society you stand on. To some extents, themore money you have, the more security you keep. No one could debate that BillGates who earn million dollars per year has less security compared to othercitizen in USA, on the contrast, he gains higher guarantee of life quality andsafety result from his fortune and social status.

Also, the real security in our social is not gained froma situation with less competition or less concern from others, but from one’sown ability. The more one earns, the more capabilities he or she has. Forexample, a very realistic but dramatic issue existed in our society is to buyour own house to live, if you have earn low salary, how could you afford it.But people with competitive ability always earn high salary and to afford adepartment is not difficult.But it is not difficult for peoplewith high competitive ability and earn high salary to afford a department.To add up, they have capability to afford their own car, and to send their childrento obtainoptional education.

To sum up, high salary always give people guarantee inour real life, on the contrary, low salary might keep people encounter lesscompetitions for a while, but it is definitely not permanent. To obtain security,the only way to do is strengthen capability of competition. Evasion from stressnever would be a way for better living.

这个是我修改的，供参考，共同进步。

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

9.16 homework~

樾悦UID: 2689181

这个。。。你的文档太高级了  我打不开 。。。  所以看了同组另一个 本来想两个都看看的。。。 sorry 啦~
有时间帮我批下哈~

haoannaUID: 2582245

打不开

樾悦UID: 2689181

ＬＺ不错～～　　拼写错误很少。。。句式上加强点就更好了

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

9.18
辛苦同组同学了~

ke_heatherUID: 2681472

改好了～～～

langtianrinuanUID: 2810236

不好意思，这两天回家，给你改晚了，见谅啊。另有什么说得不妥当的，多多包涵。 9月18日 by nishuowoshei.doc (31 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2010-9-22 14:31:20 上传

下载次数: 1

langtianrinuanUID: 2810236

记得帮我改哦~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;extra=&page=3
19楼

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

9.25 作业

caomiao723UID: 2686630

呃，我不会上传word~~先贴上来吧~~然后能麻烦你教我一下吗？

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

In this information age, advertising is everywhere. A person may receive many pieces of advertising from the post on the wall, television in the cafeteria or just when you （称谓糅杂了，前面是 a person, 这里变成 you 了） search (感觉改成进行时比较好 when you are searching) the Internet, there maybe an advertising jump out telling you there is a fantastic restaurant(呃，句子糅杂了，建议把there may be 删掉). （In this information age, advertising is everywhere in various cases, such as posters pasted onto the wall, short promotional videos on TV or so. And even an advertising picture may jump out of the screen while you are surfing the Internet. ）Therefore, a lot of people gain information from advertising and some of them begin to eat the food the advertising recommends. Thus, for (at) the first glance, advertising would be a major cause of people's bad food (eating) habits. However, if we analyzing (analyze) the situation more carefully, we will find that it is (due to the) people’s own (individual) condition, which would be the most important cause (of) the bad food habits.

Admittedly, advertising affect our thinking and predilection. Children may want to eat fast food, like KFC. Because the attractive advertising. (呃，这个原因好像比较缺乏说服力) Then they may gradually gain （gain偏增加，获利的意思，养成习惯的话用form，develop，fall into） the habit of eating that kind of food everyday. This is an example of unhealthy eating habits causes mainly because adverting let the children know them it.（句子杂糅This is an example of unhealthy eating habits caused mainly by adverting，我觉得这个例子不太好） However, there is more deep （deeper） reason. If the children do not have much money to buy the food, which may be expensive to some families, they will not buy the food. （If the family has no ability to afford it, the child would not rely on this fast food. 这个反驳我觉得也不大好，因为在老美看来说不定快餐式最便宜的食物了，我也不确定哈，就是觉得换个理由反驳会更好点）They may eat KFC once a month. That is no problem （There would be less harm）
to the children's health. Thus, I think the most important cause for children to eat too much fast food instead of eating normal food at home is because they have enough spare money to buy them.

It is in similar reason why Chinese eating more fat than before.（The situation that Chinese eating more fat than before may result from the same reason） And it causes over-weight problem and some other diseases. Is it because the effect of advertising? I think advertising is one of the causes. Because it tells people where to eat fat food. But advertising is not the most important cause. It is because (of) the economical growth here in China and then people’s willing to spend money in (on) food consuming. Without the willing of Chinese to consume, I think they won’t eat such kind of food too often which is often expensive, and won’t gain eating too much fat as a food habit.

文章给的理由不大合理，好像坏的饮食习惯的形成是由于老百姓收入太高引起的，呃，好奇怪啊~
我水平也不高，很抱歉没办法帮你修改更多了，建议动大手术好好改改这篇文章。
另外一定要注意每段结束呼应一下题目。

caomiao723UID: 2686630

啊呀，抱歉抱歉，贴成同组另外那个T友的文章了，汗。。太不好意思了~这是你的~

9月25日交

09.01.17 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

In considering (Considering that) our lives are filled with medium (media) such as radio, television and computers, one cannot argue that the influences (influence) of such medium (media) playing a (an) increasing important (more and more important 或者 increasingly important) role in our lives. Advertising does affect the way we eat, to some extent. As far as I concerned, （However）,on the contrary(删掉),
it is not a (the) crucial factor which can decide our eating habits. (It is not the key to people’s unhealthy habits. 建议点题) I will give concrete discussion （explanation） as follows.

Admittedly, advertising influence
us from amazingly aspects of our lives, including what we should eat and how we should eat. (advertising has been bringing a great influence on various spheres of people’s eating habits)Take Coke’s as an example. Few are innocence of (be innocent of, 强调无辜的，无罪的，避免：shield from, avoid, be free of )(the) risks (which) it would bring to us to drink coke frequently. but we obtain information that if we drink it we will be happy, as its advertise proclaims. (However, according to the component analysis of coke, it is real that we enjoy the happiness by having coke, as what its ads proclaim again and again.) Moreover, when a bottle of frozen coke appears in the TV screen, and a man performs very high after drink it, (and the man gets refreshed after drinking),people are convinced that they will feel the same way as the man does if they keep coke in a freezer for a while. (it is so easy that people will be tempted and convinced that they will feel the same way as the man does if they keep coke in a freezer for a while. ) 再加个结束句，点明一下本段中心，或者跟题目呼应一下。

On the other hand, numerous factors contribute to our eating habits also (as well), such as our relative’s eating habits, the availability and prices of different food and so on. One who has a heavy job and (删掉and) without a life partner cannot apply himself a health diet. he （He） might eat fast food like Mc Donald’s every dinner in order to saving time (for the sake of) having more time to rest. Moreover(what’s more), people change ideas about food and cook often when they chat, it can bring us information related to how others live and we’ll imitate some models. (最后几句人称指代有些混乱，建议全文用统一用第一人称we 或者第三人称 people，另外这段也缺少结束句)

In my opinion, advertising cannot cause unhealthy eating habits, for the reason that what kind of
（删掉，直接用the）
eating habit depends largely on what （the）kind of life style a person want to has. For instance, a （the）
noticeable pop star, Britney Spears, she （删） became fat
resulted （resulting） from eating over amount of （excess） food after she was dumped by her ex-boyfriend. What I should point out is that her career tend to decline at the same time, and the disruption of her whole life was not resulted （resulting） from her belief of advertising but her has gave （giving） up herself then. 缺少结束句，切记点题

In conclusion, our eating habits are affected by many factors. Advertising might be one of them rather than the most important one among them. Only a person who really aware of eating habit clearly what he or she want, she or he can (can she or he, only 置于句首，得倒装吧) live with it.

注意断句和句首大写