我的作文贴，求指正——独立写作小组9月

superchaosUID: 2863434

作文给你改好啦……

louisa427UID: 2458920

不好意思，改晚了

MELODYSKIINGUID: 2841950

改好了～PS 谢谢批改！

belinda_777UID: 2669901

9.4 综合 TPO17 + 独立

请大家指教

FannieHsuUID: 2861996

改好了

estopUID: 2864494

9-4 独立 改

belinda_777UID: 2669901

写的不好 这篇文章 希望批改的同学 多帮我改改语句
我觉得可能话题不熟悉，表达起来很生硬啊

dukenuneeUID: 2859326

改好啦。

belinda_777UID: 2669901

恩 又光荣的超时了
我知道我很啰嗦，我会改正
也请考友们多给点建议哦 期待你们的好文~

evaeva0330UID: 2773544

integrated writing TO BLINDA_777
It is stated in the passage that working in a group would definitely benefit the project(这句话在意思上有歧义~working in a group的隐藏主语是工作的人~而事实上整个项目完成情况的核查者是the company 如果从个角度出发它本身就像要benefit the project的话当然是在group里面好~诶……不知道我表达清楚了没有).  While the professor in the lecture has successfully contradicts the views by pointing out several weakness in the passage.

To begin with, the professor directly questions the statement in the passage that individuals in the group can get the honor and rewards according to their work and contributions by offering some facts.  First, it should be admitted that there are always a few people who don't take the responsibility in the teamwork. They usually act as the "free-rider".  However, they could receive the same reward as it is for the entire group, and （这里不应该用and）they are members of the group.  On the other hand, there are also other members who devote themselves in the pursuit of the better process of the group by offering some sagacious opinions and insightful ideas.  Unfortunately, the recognition and rewarding seem not remember their hard work.  Everything is shared by the whole group.  The real contributors could not get what they deserved, let alone be "shine".  Hence, the conclusion in the statement seems to be less reasonable for the lack of comprehensive consideration.

In addition, the professor raises another issue（这应该不算是another issue吧~最多算是another evidence to support 接后面） that group work turns out to be less effective and creative.  Contrary to the argument in the passage that members would handle the problem quickly with the abundant resource and advantages in one group, the professor believes that it might take long for the group to arrive at the agreement to the direction of the project.  Because there are various kinds of ideas and perspective in the group, so many meetings discussing about the final decision are required which might extend the time schedule（有点罗嗦了~）. Further more, the influential persons in the group who are supposed to determine the directions would bring some negative impacts on it.  They might simply disagree with a couple of ideas which might be very helpful and significant, and as a result, the suggestions might be dropped without elaborate discussion and consideration.  Even though some members would suggest the different opinions, most of them are ignored by others.  Consequently, if once （要么用if 要么用once 这两个词重复了~）the project fails, everyone in the group might take the responsibility of the failure which contradicts the demonstration in the passage that the single individual could avoid the blame.  Therefore, without taking into account all factors above, the views in the passage are unwarranted.（逻辑问题~~要么把前面的without去掉 要么把后面一句话改成 the author fails to support the statement that balabalabala……）

诶……
我都不知道咋小结了诶~
把听力的内容全写进去了~写得很长~
也有一些长句感觉不是很流畅~
马上考试了 要卡时间卡字数啊!!~~
加油！

JulianlodUID: 2688193

已改

niunianUID: 2864048

不好意思改晚了 写的不错
这是我的作业

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1145335&pid=1774342361&page=3&extra=

belinda_777UID: 2669901

先贴上独立的 马上交综合

belinda_777UID: 2669901

9.8 综合 马上9.11要考试了 求狠狠狠狠批
同组的同学不留情 赞扬的话 全部省去
我需要更多的问题哦
恩考试加油！

makeithappenUID: 2585223

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