我的作文贴，求指正——独立写作小组9月

belinda_777UID：2669901

The problem that whether one should try several kinds of job before he or she starts the long-term career has aroused the attention of the public.
And there are two different opinions , one of them considers that if there are someone who could succeed in his or her career, it might be the one who focus on his job.
While, the others might hold an opposite view that people should make some attempts in various fields, and then make a sagacious decision.
Personally, I am in agreement on the latter one for following reasons.

First, taking several different jobs could widen your sight which might lead you to figure out what you are really interested in.
It is generally acknowledged that hobbies can be the best teachers.
In other words, only with interests in the jobs, one can totally show his remarkable talents and realize his dream. In addition, no a single person could understand a subject or a job well until he has worked in it.
Personal experience could be one of the most direct and effective ways for one to find out the details in the field.
According to the survey, the majority of people in modern society spend most of their time on work, nobody would like to take the job he doesn't like. Therefore, trying more jobs might contribute to a better understanding about not only various jobs but also one’s own interests.

Moreover, various kinds of jobs might offer you some valuable experience and opportunities. Generally speaking, both graduate students and undergraduate students show a lack of experience or some practical knowledge which one could not get from the textbooks when they get their first jobs. However, these factors are critical in the job market and they are the prerequisite for a favorable position. And there is no denying that one could get more advices and chances for his long-term career from these attempts.
Hence, one could regard these short-term jobs as some perfect opportunities to learn more things and improve personal qualities.
Then one could be well prepared for his final career.

Admittedly, there is a limit to one's time and energy.
Dispersion of one's attention might make one feel tired and exhausted.
But from my view, the advantages of more attempts in different jobs might outweigh the disadvantages.
As the determination of one's life-time career is rather significant, one should be sure that he really enjoys the job and he has been ready for it.

逍遥若曦UID：2802815

来啦~嘿嘿

belinda_777UID：2669901

2# 逍遥若曦
关于批注9 我是觉得好像有种说法是could比can更加的正式 所以就用了 你觉得行吗
关于might 是自己词穷 而且考G的时候老师说 作文要严谨 得到的宗旨就是什么都不能太绝对 就多用了might

SilentScorpiusUID：2686998

改完了，贴上来

SilentScorpiusUID：2686998

3# belinda_777
韦氏对could的解释：as an alternative to can suggesting less force or certainty or as a polite form in the present <if you could come we would be pleased>
应该是没有can正式吧

belinda_777UID：2669901

0825 作文小组——特训队  
independent writing
In modern society, an increasing number of younger children are studying art, music and some other kinds of extra subjects in their part-time according to the demands of their parents.  However, from my viewpoint, it might not be a wise decision.

Admittedly, learning something about art and music might be good to widen one's sight.  It could also provide some opportunities to cultivate the ability to discover and appreciate the beauty.  However, merits and demerits always come together, and I believe that the disadvantages might outweigh.

First, it is generally acknowledged that children nowadays are suffering from bigger pressure from the media, society, and even the family than several years ago. Their parents always want them to have a good performance in their everyday study in the school. Moreover, the table of the classes might include so many important subjects such as math, language science, history and so on.  According to the recent survey, the majority of the nowadays children are spending more than 4 hours in finishing the homework from the school.  In this case, the extra assignments on art and music might burden them and it might result in an unhappy childhood and even some psychological problems.  Hence, parents might pay more attention to the development of children, understand and manager the time for their children properly.  

In addition, children should learn something following their interests rather than their parents' words.  Though the parents love and expect to children is understandable, a child should have the right as an individual to decide what he prefers to learn.  As the old saying goes that interests are the best teachers.  Many famous and successful people could be illustrated as good examples, for example Beethoven, Newton and Darwin.  Because of their strong will to learn something in the particular fields, they might be motivated and stimulated in their study and life.  Only with the enthusiasm and passion, the children could be the one who search for fun in the study and finally make some achievements.  On the other hand, if one is required to learn the art or music, one might soon lose interests in it and be constrained to keep on studying.  I believe, it is not the expected result and purpose of parents.

In sum, I am in agreement with the idea that parents should let the children to develop their own interests and hobbies after school and avoid adding extra pressure to the young.

综合写作　ｉｎｔｅｇｒａｔｅｄ　ＴＰＯ８
The speaker in the lecture holds the view, appearing in contradiction to what the passage has maintained, that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine could not be an alternative choice to power the car.
Though the internal-combustion engine suffers from several problems such as the using up the finite resource and polluting the environment, the fuel-cell engine might not be available.

First, the speaker claims that the hydrogen which is supposed to fuel the engine is not so practical for the reason that it could not be directly used unless it is put in some extreme environment.
The hydrogen should be preserved in a pure liquid state which is a highly artificial substance.
Moreover, the temperature should be kept very low to make it very cold.
Hence, the idea that hydrogen is a kind of optimal and functional resource is unwarranted and inconvincible.

In addition, it is also argued in the lecture that in the process of producing hydrogen, there exists much pollution.
And some core, petroleum might be burned to provide the energy to make some hydrogen which might question the statement that hydrogen-based fuel cells are environment-friendly with no pollution.


Contrary to the argument in the passage, the speaker points out that the expenditure on the fuel-cells could be great.
The cost of platinum which is the essential and indispensable component of the fuel engine is very expensive which makes it not economically to use the new resource.

lanzhi_gjyUID：2717147

改好了，请查收~

belinda_777UID：2669901

7# lanzhi_gjy
谢谢你的点评啊　好快而且很精准
我看过了之后受益匪浅，刚开始参加小组活动，觉得很有意义哦
希望可以互相交流
针对你提出的问题，我也修改了一下？
你能否看看，我在里面也提了一些疑问，求教哦　
谢谢　感谢寄托

另外我还传了新的integrated writing 哦
也希望你抽空可以看看哦

superchaosUID：2863434

给你改好啦……

belinda_777UID：2669901

8.28 综合写作
写的很不好，很不开心
觉得自己写起来磕磕巴巴，一点都没有一气呵成的感觉，
觉得对于综合写作的一些套路，运用的不熟练，导致表达有些变扭
请高手多多指教
The reading passage provides some examples to demonstrate the new behavior——altruism.  The professor in the lecture refutes them by offering clear explanations.
Contrary to the conclusion that meerkats are a kind of altruistic animals, the professor cites some different facts.  First, when it comes to the eating habbits, the professor believes that the sentinels stands guard with full stomach.  And what's more, sentinels are always the first one to escape, because it is easy for them to approach to the burrow to hide themselves.  On the other hand, the other members all gather together which might be a big purpose for the predators  and suffer from a higher risk.  In addition, the alarm from the sentinels might also draw the predators' attention to the group.  Meanwhile, the meerkat, standing out for the group, could avoid being noticed.  Therefore, the views from the passage might seem to be unwarranted and questionable.
Then, the professor points out some selfish acts among human to contradict the idea presented in the passage.  There exist someone who selfishly choose to donate their children to their relatives or even strangers for various reasons. Though the act might be harmful to the children, they could still receive the rewards and appreciation from the public and gain their reputations.  Obviously, it might go againest what the passage indicates.

belinda_777UID：2669901

It is a common phenomenon that parents always make decisions for the children in various kinds of fields.
I hold the view, however, that young people should determine their lives by themselves.

Admittedly, parents know their children better than any other people.
And they are the one who care about them for the most.
Therefore, they always have a comprehensive consideration before the last decision, and then make an optimal decision.


However, from my viewpoint, young people should be independent and decide the future by themselves.
Living and working in modern society, young people, especially the one who owns a dream, should develop the ability to make correct and proper choices.
The differences between successful people and losers laid right here——when choices emerged in your daily study and work, the ones who face them individually following their own opinions will succeed; the one who abandon himself and turn to others for help, on the other hand, will definitely have no chance to win.
What's more, parents could not accompany with the young at any time, it is more likely that people would be put into the situations that there are nowhere to turn for help. In this case, it might remind one the importance of independent thinking and decision.


Additionally, young people should make choices according to their interests instead of what their parents prefer.
It is common that parents usually want their children to realize their own dream which they could not obtain.
But some differences are definitely right there between the two generations.
So parents' opinions could not represent the ideas from students totally.
Moreover, there is a saying that hobbies come to be the best teachers.
Young should determine their life following their interests and thoughts.

In sum, it is much better for the young to make their own choices depending on their experience and consideration than just listening to what the parents say.

belinda_777UID：2669901

0901 综合 TPO14
The lecture successfully contradicts that idea that salvage logging benefits both the forest and the economy by point out three weaknesses.  

Firstly, the speaker questions the view in the passage that removing dead trees might contribute to a better growth of new trees.  It is said in the lecture that the process of decomposing the dead trees might bring up several nutrients.  The soil, with these nutrients, turns to be more suitable for the fresh growth.  Hence, the forest would take a longer time to renew and recover with the salvage logging, and the idea from the passage seems to be unwarranted.

Secondly, even if the speaker admits the fact that the population of insects would definitely increase because of the dead trees, he still holds a negative view towards idea of the passage.  He believes the particular condition would not only benefit some harmful insects but also be useful for some good birds and insects.  On the contrary, the advantages it brings about outweigh the disadvantages.  In other words, with a comprehensive consideration, remaining the dead trees would finally favor the forest.  It directly weakens what the passage claims.

Finally, salvage logging would put the economy in an unfavorable condition.  Comparing with the passage indicting that the utility of the wood can bring some profits, the speaker raise a issue that the cost of it might be much higher. Only some expensive transportation such as helicopter could be available to remove the lumber.  Moreover, people who could take the job are some outsiders with abundant experience.  As a result，the local residents still could not obtain the job.

belinda_777UID：2669901

贴上附件
9.1 综合哦 TPO14

belinda_777UID：2669901

9.2 先交独立作文哈
The issue， whether the government should invest on some art museums and concerts hall or build some recreational facilities such as swimming pool and playgrounds， has recently aroused the attention of the public. There are different opinions and perspectives towards the problem, however, I prefer the latter one.

Firstly，more facilities like swimming pool and playground make it possible for more people to build up their body there.  As the quality of life is increasing, new demands are being put on the health. In, this case, the importance of taking exercise cannot be overstressed. Many experts point out that physical science contributes directly to a person's physical fitness.  The new facilities could improve the environment and basic condition of such exercises.  Moreover, they could encourage people to lead a healthy life and benefit the physical quality of the public.

Secondly, the health problem is concerned by almost every single one, while only a few people would like to appreciate the arts works.  A couple of people might casually pay attention to the performance for entertainment, and the majority of people prefer to watch some arts works on TV or listen to the music on Mp3 for it might be much cheaper.  Hence, the number of people who benefit from the program of setting the new arts museum and concerts halls is much smaller than the other one.  Then it would be a wise decision to have more recreational facilities.

Finally, modern people have got a great amount of pressure from the daily work and study.  The government should provide a window for them to relax themselves and have fun.  Both doing sports and appreciating the arts are good alternatives to get rid of the sorrow and unhappiness.  However, taking physical exercise seems to be more significant and effective.

belinda_777UID：2669901

9.2 两篇都贴上来 综合+写作