[未归类] 大家帮我看看我的作文是不是标准的三分水平哈……马上就考试了快绝望死了…… [复制链接]

冬木琉璃
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发表于 2010-8-25 19:26:15 |显示全部楼层

唉还有三天就要坐车去大连考试了可是心里却越来越没底……
issue怎么写思想都很肤浅很大众 argu论证还是展不开模板气还是很重
本来想着也许能打4分后来看看发现其实练习了这么久，其实也就还是三分的水平……
有点心慌了怎么办？？
都丧失继续复习的信心了……
附上今天的一篇a和i 大家大致看看是不是标准三分水平还是三分也拿不到 TT
死也死痛快点哈……

TOPIC: ISSUE136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
WORDS: 573
TIME: 00:42:00
DATE: 2010-8-25 10:05:26

Is the absence of choice in a circumstance rare, as the author maintains? I generally agree with the author in that we are all human living in democratic society which values people's right of free will. However, there indeed are some conditions in which we have no choice, such as the ability we are born with, like our nationality, our origin, and our color or that things suddenly falling upon us, such as a serious disease or a natural catastrophe.

First, I will say that, the essence of the country determines that we often have the right to choose what we like and which road we would walk on. In a democratic country, government is doomed to give citizens enough freedom to make their own choices and people all have the right to act according to their free will. Unless suffering from permenant imprisonment or serious mental or physical deficiencies, a man is capable of choosing his career, friends and so on. In this sense, the absence of choice in a circumstance is very rare, if only one lives in a democratic country.

However, the right to carry out our free will into realization doesn't mean that we can choose whatever we want without considering the potential harm we may exert on society. As a human with humanitarian wishes, we should always choose to do those benefit our country and people around us. We should keep in mind that, the surest indicator of a man's value is the contribution he has made to the society, and the number of people who have obtained benefits from his action. Roosevelt, an American president, carried out the New Deal which propelled the economic development and saved American from the financial crisis; while Hitler, a leader of German, initiated the Second World War, resulting in hundreds of thousands of innocent people homeless. The two, though both are president of a country,
made totally different choices and result in totally different consequences. Roosevelt is still admired by American now and Hitler is still hated by people worldwide.
As a people with high moral standard and well conscience, one should think over our choices carefully and choose to make a contribution to our society rather than damage it.

In addition, I would point that, though we don't have choice on certain items such as the color of our skin, our origin and our appearance, we do can choose to work hard and still success regardless of the limitations of those cannot be chose. Take Steven Hawing for example, he is diagnosed with a proceeding disease called ALS, which cannot be cured and make him completely paralyzed. However, despite of the fact that he can only speak through a computer and that he can only walk through a wheelchair, he still worked hard, using his intelligence to investigate into the mysterious world of theoretical physics and finally became a giant in the domain.

In sum, I concede that we often have choices in a circumstance in that we are entitled with right to choose in a democratic society. However, we cannot choose only leading by our own instincts and interests. As a social people, we should also take how our actions would influence other people into consideration, do those benefice others and avoid those hurt others. Also, we shouldn't be frustrated by the characters that we cannot choice but rather trying to transcend those limits and make our own success.

TOPIC: ARGUMENT149 - The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get-Away Airlines.

"Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft, Get-Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality-Care Seminar, a two-week seminar on proper maintenance procedures. I recommend this seminar because it is likely to be a wise investment, given that the automobile racing industry recently reported that the performance of its maintenance crews improved markedly after their crews had attended the seminar. These maintenance crews perform many of the same functions as do our mechanics, including refueling and repairing engines. The money we spend on sending our staff to the seminar will inevitably lead to improved maintenance and thus to greater customer satisfaction along with greater profits for our airline."
WORDS: 460
TIME: 00:27:00
DATE: 2010-8-25 10:05:27

The author claims that, Get-Away Airlines should send their mechanics to the Quality-Care Seminar in order to gain greater profit by improving maintenance and enhancing customer satisfaction. To support his claim, he cites the successful case of a automobile racing industry. At first glance, the conclusion seems reasonable. Careful examination of the evidences, however, reveal that they lend little support to the author's conclusion.

First, the author established a cause-and-effect relationship between the seminar and improved crews performance only in that the latter happens after the former. However, the sequence of time, in itself, doesn't suffice to indicate the causal relationship. It is possible that, the seminar is irrelevant with the improved performance of crews in that the improved performance is actually a result of their own hard work. If so, then the author's conclusion would be weakened.

Even if the improved performance of crews in automobile racing is really a result of attending the seminar, the author unfairly assumes that the seminar would be equally effective when applied to Get-Away Airlines. The author concludes that the two company are comparable only in that the maintenance crews in the two company perform many of the same functions. However, the author fails to take the differences of the work between the mechanics in Get-Away Airlines and the automobile racing industry into consideration. While the mechanics of Get-Away Airlines is majored in inspecting and maintaining aircrafts, the maintenance crews in automobile racing industry is majored in repairing cars. Common sense informs me that, there are lots of differences between a plane and a car, thus there are inevitably differences in the techniques of repairing the two. So, the author cannot judge that the techniques taught by the seminar would be equally effective to the Get-Away Airlines mechanics.

Even if the performance of Get-Away Airlines mechanics could be improved after attending the seminar, the author still commits a fallacy in that he assumes that the seminar would finally lead to greater profits of their airline. As we all know, profits is a function of both costs and revenue. Without giving more information about the cost of sending mechanics to the seminar and the revenue the company can gain from the action, the author cannot conclude that there would be greater profits for their airline.

In sum, mainly based on dubious evidences and unwarranted assumptions, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To make it logically accepted, the author should provide more information to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between the seminar and improved crews performance prove and prove that the seminar is also able to provide technique concerning the maintenance of aircraft. He should also obtain the information about the revenue and costs of the action, to make his conclusion more convincing.